The Impact Short Form, 10.05.06

In Memoriam: Antonio Pena. Considering how many tales about his sexual exploits have already been passed around about him, imagine the flood that’s going to happen now. Expect Brashear to start covering stories very, very soon, and on a near-weekly basis, about lucha stars coming out and saying that Pena molested them and what kind of head-for-push deals they had to transact in order to get their careers in gear. Pena was a mammoth sleaze artist, after all, and a definite example of the iceberg principle when it comes to people. It’s gonna get really interesting south of the border, folks.

Of course, I said the same thing about Victor Quinones earlier this year, and nothing’s come out so far, so take that for what it’s worth.

Oh, God, my back is killing me. I don’t know how the hell I twisted it, but it happened. I’ve been popping enough Vikes and Soma over the last couple of days that Regal would look at me and go, “Slow down, old man.” If it keeps up like this, I may have to start dating Luger. All I can do is try to ignore the pain and just cover the show. The build-up to Bound For Glory is well on its way, and from the spoilers, this show is one massive set-up with no substance. Next week will be even worse with the announcement that Nash has resigned with TNA and will be having “some kind of announcement” at next week’s tapings. Let’s see how they did…

Match Results:

The ex-Buh Buh Ray Dudley and the ex-D-Von Dudley over Frankie Kazarian and Matt Bentley (Pinfall, the ex-D-Von pins Kazarian, 3-D): Lambert lamented the status of Bentley and Kazarian as jobbers. I don’t care that they’re jobbers. However, their status has vanished into the aether. They’re both former X Division champions, or is that fact not mentioned anymore because those title reigns happened pre-Spike? Is TNA in constant denial mode about their own history? Do they think it’s too confusing to mention things to the Spike audience that happened before they arrived on the network? And will the arrival of Russo make this attitude better or worse? Too many questions, not enough answers. I’m going to take a nap.

Fly, D-Von, fly…what do you mean I used that joke last week?

Homicide and Hotstuff Hernandez over Tyler Black and Jeff Bluxen (Homicide pins Black, second-rope DDT; Hernandez pins Bluxen, throw crucifix powerbomb): Yeah, like I can say anything about a one-minute jobber match. Sheremetyevo’s entrance took longer than the match, something that’s actually become very rare in wrestling these days, non-Sandman division. Next.

Jeff Bluxen’s career highlight: being launched directly into Hernandez

Shark Boy, Norman Smiley, Elix Skipper and David Young over Eric Young, Loser Gets To Leave TNA To Become A Jobber On ECW Match (Pinfall, Shark Boy pins Eric Young, Greco-Roman golf club shot to the stomach by a bald former AWA world champion): Obviously, that’s the direction that the EY angle had to go. Now I’m actually really interested in this. This gives a nice fresh point of climax to this angle that’s an ideal jumping-on point for a writer. In this case, the writer happens to be Vinny Ru. Say what you want about Russo, but the one thing that you can’t really criticize him for is his ability to write mid-card angles that enhance and elevate the people in them. He’s done that trick bunches of times now, and careers have been made by it. I want to see what he does with EY in this particular situation and whether or not EY takes the ball and runs with it (he’s been doing a good job of that so far). Gauntlet Match at Bound For Glory against the X Division guys and tag guys who aren’t busy, maybe?

How low do you have to be on the food chain to get punked out by Nor-MAN Smi-LAY and Shark Boy? Can we even consider David Young a life form anymore?

Jeff Jarrett and Christian over Christopher Daniels and Ron Killings (Pinfall, Jarrett pins Daniels, Konnan-ference): One of these things is not like the other. One of these things is not what it seems. But there are two answers. The first is that everyone other than Jarrett are proven, accomplished tag wrestlers, while Jarrett hasn’t been an effective tag wrestler since Owen was his partner. The second is that Daniels is the only one of the bunch to never hold the NWA world title. That’s depressing to the point of tragedy, actually. Daniels has paid his dues. He should have had a reign about two years ago or so, but between the X Division and Triple X, gee, somehow, that seemed to slip through the cracks. Good match, by the way, until the bullshit SE ending.

It’s a great thing when your job requires you to kick your boss in the face

Angle Developments:

Just A Short Question: Could they have been more cliched than to use a “Lose Yourself” knockoff for Rhiyno’s Eight Mile Street Fight video package? Sometimes subtlety is a virtue, you know.

How very Steinbeck of Sahadi

About two years too late, methinks

Okay, Widro, call the lawyers on this f*ck for stealing my column logo

Well, we’ve got one more column to go, and I’ll get cracking on that now so that I can get some sleep with a clear conscience. See you later today.