My Mask is Better Than Your Mask

Steve Felton of Mushroomhead recently did an interview with Midwest Movement. Nobody would care, except that he had to start slaggin’ on Slipknot. Still, nobody would care as Mushroomhead has been whining about them for years (and, well, it’s Slipknot), but some things need analysis:

Felton: I’m just done playing nice guy. We’ve kept our mouths shut for eight years, and listened to everyone tell us to play nice, and it’s got us nowhere. For eight years we sat by as those assholes talked their shit about us and tried to tear us down at every corner and every stop. But guess what? We’re still here. And when you talk as much shit as they have, the thing is, you had better be able to back your shit talking up. We’re all from Cleveland, and we don’t play nice with others. So if SLIPKNOT wants to keep talking shit about us, then go ahead. If they want to continue their efforts to bring us down…go ahead. But just know that when we find you, we will most definitely knuckle the f*ck up and lay you the f*ck out. And I don’t give a shit how many records they’ve sold. Or how well they play their instruments. I don’t care how much money they’ve made or what kind of car they drive. I could care less because it means nothing. Every single person they’ve stepped on and ripped off on their way to the top, they’ll meet on their way back down. And it’s going to be a quick fall and a lot of face time with a lot of betrayed people who don’t give a f*ck about what happens to any those guys. They sold out everyone they possibly could to get that check. They traded a platinum record for dignity, honor and respect. So they can say what they want about Mushroomhead, but we’re still here, and every single friend we’ve ever made, to this day, we still have, and they know where they stand with us. So if you want to talk shit, Slipknot, well, you know where to find us. Whenever you’re ready, just bring your weak-ass shit to Cleveland and let’s see what happens.

Corey Taylor says “You cannot kill what you did not create”. Maybe so. But I guess you can sure as f*ck sell what you stole.

Alrighty then.

Perhaps this is news to Mr. Felton, but Mushroomhead has not exactly kept their mouths shut for eight years. In fact, I think everyone who has ever read any metal websites in their lives find the “you stole our gimmick” rant to be so old hat that you might as well be debating “tastes great” vs “less filling”. We get it, dude. Your band wore masks and jumpsuits before Slipknot did. You also were in Cleveland, going nowhere. Slipknot was in Iowa going nowhere. It’s entirely possible that you each came up with this completely ridiculous gimmick all by yourselves. Every side of this story has been analyzed and debated for years now. In the meantime, go watch a Friday the 13th movie before this discussion ever thinks about happening again. And go see a GWAR show, too.

What else could Mr. Felton be talking about when he mentions “stealing”? Certainly not music. Ever listen to Mushroomhead? They’re not Slipknot. They’re not even remotely the same band. It’s like comparing Slayer to Anthrax, for f*ck’s sake. They have some things in common but one doesn’t listen to a Mushroomhead CD and think about how much they’re like Slipknot. Again, with the whining about the masks and jumpsuits.

Does Slipknot talk shit? Of course! Everyone does! And I don’t mean that in any sort of hyperbolic way. There is not a band alive who doesn’t have someone else in the industry to bitch about. There’s not a human being alive who doesn’t have someone else on the planet to bitch about. Do some have more discretion than others? Sure. But this is metal. Call up Kerry King, he’ll tell you all about shit-talking. Amusingly, though, after bitching about Slipknot shooting off their mouths, Mr. Felton sinks to the same level. How cute, they’re still twins!

But even with all of that ridiculous garbage aside, the real news here is Felton proclaiming Slipknot to be sellouts and ripping on their music.

Again — has anyone ever listened to a Mushroomhead CD? Has this led Mushroomhead to be a million-dollar act? Do you understand why this is? Mushroomhead does not write good music. Period. They have gone nowhere because there is absolutely nothing about them which is innovative, creative, or poignant. They’re a bunch of idiots in masks with a dream that they have no clue how to make a reality.

So what’s the obvious solution here? Study up, write better songs? Oh hell no! We’ll just point out all of the ways that Slipknot sucks! Because that will suddenly make us a good band whose albums people want to buy!

This certainly isn’t to say that Slipknot are compositional geniuses. They came up with a good song or two in their early days, sure, but it was their raw aggression that endeared them to angsty kiddies. Then there was Vol. 3, a disc as debated among Slipknot fans as the Stone Sour outings. It was, undoubtedly, musically superior to most of their prior works. The structure, the writing, and the playing, it all came together to make a fine little album. Unfortunately, it was quite a departure from the Slipknot that their fans came to know and love; the hard part after that was shaking their image to be taken seriously by others who cast them aside as nothing more than a gimmick. One platinum certification later says they did a pretty good job of that. You can’t force people to buy an album; they have to be intrigued or genuinely like what they’ve heard.

This is what Mr. Felton doesn’t seem to grasp. “Selling out” implies that the band deliberately changed what they did to make money. Did they? Did a taste of success from Stone Sour make them change their tune? Or did the band just decide they were tired of screaming and pounding out muddy noise? Nobody is going to come out and admit selling out even if it’s true. Slipknot isn’t the first band to change directions and they won’t be the last. The point is that if they can change directions and do it well, who is anyone to shit on them?

Oh, yeah… Mushroomhead. The band whose outfits they ripped off.