YouTube users not buying Diddy's latest publicity stunt

From The Saturday Swindle Sheet newscenter…

Seeing as I am hardly the biggest fan of The Ad Hoc Award-Demanding Trouser Stain From Harlem, I feel implored to comment on his latest publicity stunt, in which he and Burger King have teamed up to “buy” a channel on YouTube, naming it DiddyTV.

Of course, as most of you know, it is free to post video to YouTube, so if TAHADTSFH did indeed pay money to broadcast on the site, that just shows—along with the sale of the site to Google for $1.6 billion—that the guys behind YouTube are f*cking geniuses. However, if it’s more of a statement by TAHADTSFH that he can buy anything because he has more money than you, me, and my hometown, that would make a lot more sense, as it would speak to his ridiculously immense ego which knows absolutely no bounds. The user, “BadBoyRecords”, posted the first Burger King clip on Oct. 6, joining other exciting EXCLUSIVE footage of Diddy getting a haircut and going pee (I shit you not), and somehow they think that people f*cking care. This guy is out of control. Does he really think he’s doing the world a favor by filming himself strutting into a Burger King like some sort of Robert Crumb character, showing that he’s not too good to eat Burger King like the rest of us peons? TAHADTSFH thinks that he is such a god that not only does he not have to pay for his Whopper (props to the cashier, if that was indeed a shoot), but also thinks anybody on the face of the f*cking planet is going to find it the least bit interesting to see him waffle on for a minute and a half about how bad he had to pee, while peeing. The overall reception from the YouTube fold has been horrendous, which makes this here scrivener very happy. Users are calling him every name in the book, while others have posted spoofs (here‘s one of the better ones) to protest TAHADTSFH invading their fold with his worthless drivel.¹ And what’s this “King of Music and Fashion” thing? TAHADTSFH is not a king, and he never will be. Burger King is a king because everyone knows it as such, and plus, they rival (and in many areas dominate) the almighty McDonald’s in that particular arena. But calling TAHADTSFH “king” of anything is insulting, not only to people like Carl XVI Gustaf, Juan Carlos I, Harald V, Abdullah II, Don King, Martin Luther King Jr., Jerry Lawler, and Arnold Palmer, but also to musicians such as King Diamond, King Crimson, Ben E. King, King Harvest, King Missile, and the lesser known new wave band fronted by Paul King—all of which make better music than TAHADTSFH.²

Cheers
-JF2k6!

ENDNOTES

¹ One must, however, take into account that many of these same users post material that rivals DiddyTV in worthlessness, although most of them are not touting it as the greatest thing ever, as Diddy habitually does. When all is said and done, though, the thing that stinks mostly to high heaven among everyone is the corporate connotation in the DiddyTV project, as it’s been created almost certainly with its first priority being to sell records and Whoppers. While The Saturday Swindle Sheet has no immediate plans to boycott Burger King, we will, however continue to express a strong disdain toward TAHADTSFH and everything involving him and his ego.

² Save for the earlier material he produced for Biggie. This is more so a reference to his so-called solo material, which has been on a steep and steady decline since its debut, and is nowhere near as good as he—and Michaelangelo McCullar—would lead you to think.