One thing I do hate about SmackDown, is that it’s broadcast after Cheaters, which means I usually catch a few minutes of the show. Man I hate that show, it makes me feel so trashy whenever I know that it’s on. Also, I should warn you all that it’s stinky, boiling hot, I’ve been up since Four AM, I’ve had to rearrange my room, and I want to go to the gym before it closes for two weeks. So if you’re expecting one of those times where I always have something nice to say, look in the archives … I’ll try to be nice though. I promise.
Video for No Mercy recaps Kennedy / Taker, Mysterio / Guerrero, and the Fatal Four Way before we head into the usual opening sequence. MVP has his SmackDown debut tonight, also we have a Triple Threat Number One Contendership match tonight between Lashley, Batista, and Finlay .. well, a contendership match between the losers at No Mercy. That continues to elevate the belt, doesn’t it?
Mr Kennedy makes his way on out. Kennedy says that he told Long he wanted to go to RAW because he had chewed up all his competition on SmackDown, but Long put him in a match against Undertaker .. so, at No Mercy, Kennedy defeated Taker. Doesn’t matter how, fact remains is that he beat him and got himself another ‘W’ (Win, for those playing the home game). But Long still won’t give him his release, so he’s agreed to defend his United States Championship against a man who Long claims he has never defeated. When he defeats him, Kennedy goes to RAW! Kennedy demands his opponent to come out so Kennedy can go over to RAW, finally … his opponent is Chris Benoit! I coulda gone and sworn that Kennedy had defeated Benoit sometime last year?
Opening Contest: United States Championship: Chris Benoit vs Mr Kennedy (Champion)
Kennedy attacks to start but Benoit quickly gets in some chops and forearms. Kennedy off the ropes into a kitchen sink knee by Benoit. Snap suplex by Benoit for a two count, Kennedy quickly rolls outside. Benoit goes for the Crossface quickly on but Kennedy is at the ropes, before Benoit kicks him out of the ring. Kennedy on the apron gets a shoulder to the gut of Benoit, Kennedy gets some shots in but Benoit continues to hit Kennedy with the chops. Benoit sends Kennedy into the corner and back into a shoulder body toss. Benoit takes Kennedy into the corner for some knees. Benoit gets in a German on Kennedy, but Kennedy rolls back outside.
Benoit follows Kennedy outside but Kennedy gets some elbows to Benoit, but Benoit slams Kennedy face first into the ring apron before he takes it back inside the ring. Scoop slam by Benoit, who goes for the Sharpshooter but Kennedy escapes it. Back drop by Benoit for a two count. Kennedy rakes the face of Benoit but runs into a kick to the gut, before he gets suplexed gut first onto the top rope. Kennedy and Benoit exchange blows before Kennedy sends Benoit face first into the top turnbuckle; Kennedy gets up to the second turnbuckle but Benoit throws him into the ring, and hits the Swandive Headbutt to the shoulder of Kennedy! Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter, Kennedy grabs the tights .. but Benoit flips Kennedy over! Kennedy looks like he’ll tap and Benoit locks on the Crossface but in that quick space of time Kennedy gets to the ropes! Kennedy rolls outside as we head to a commercial.
Commercials.
We’re back and Benoit headbutts Kennedy in the corner. Kennedy sends Benoit shouder first into the steel pole before he swings Benoit’s arm right into the pole. Kennedy stomps away at Benoit’s arm before hitting him with a scoop slam. Kennedy with an elbow for a two count. Kennedy sends Benoit, again, into the steel pole. Kennedy slams Benoit’s face into the steel steps, but Benoit comes back with chops. Back in the ring Kennedy gets a two count. Kennedy is bleeding heavily out of the mouth too. Benoit with chops but Kennedy gets an arm breaker for a two count. Kennedy slams Benoit down, with his arm hooked behind his back, for a two count. Kennedy chokes Benoit blatantly, letting go of it just before he is disqualified by the referee. Benoit trips Kennedy and goes for the Sharpshooter but Kennedy kicks Benoit off and drops some elbows.
Benoit gets some kicks in against Kennedy, but Kennedy knocks away at Benoit and nails a snapmare before he works on the shoulder of Benoit .. and a Bell tolls! Another one, and Undertaker’s music starts up! Kennedy turns around into chops by Benoit, Kennedy with some knees to Benoit’s gut! Kennedy gets slammed face first into the top turnbuckle and Benoit goes for the Triple Germans, Kennedy escapes and sees Taker at the entrance way! Triple Germans and the Crossface is hooked! Kennedy submits!
Winner and NEW United States Champion: Chris Benoit
Great way to open SmackDown (a United States title change always seems to be a great way to open SmackDown to me for some reason). The match was Benoit with the majority of the offensive however, I’d have preferred to see a much more even offence between the two. Seven out of Ten.
Commercials.
This week in history: some McMahon / Austin shenanigans, with Austin filling McMahon’s car with cement.
JBL and Cole talk about the RAW Family Reunion, and we get a clip of McMahon announcing the Triple Threat at Cyber Sunday.
Booker and Sharmell are backstage asking Long “… Why?”. Booker’s annoyed that he has to defend his title next week, and that Long should want him defending SmackDown at Cyber Sunday because he’s the only one who can get the job done. Long reminds Booker that the wrestlers in tonight’s Triple Threat all hold victories over Booker, before Booker asks Long if he is going to change his mind … but Long doesn’t answer?
Commercials.
Second Contest: Sir William Regal vs Vito
So the entrance graphic says that he’s not Sir anymore, Tony says otherwise, so whatever. Regal attacks early on with clubs and elbows in the corner. Vito off the ropes into an elbow and headlock takedown, Vito escapes by getting a headscissors on Regal. Regal rolls out of the ring and drags Vito out with him shortly after, Vito gets sent into the steel steps. Regal takes it to Vito with hooks and gets a two count. Regal locks Vito in a full nelson, Vito escapes but gets nailed with a half german and half full nelson suplex for a two count. Regal sends Vito into the corner, he drops down and Regal nails a knee to the back of his head before he hooks Vito’s face, but Vito gets to the ropes. Regal gets nailed with a shoulder body toss by Vito. Vito with a kick to the face of Regal, flashes the crowd and comes off the top rope with an elbow drop that misses which gets Regal a two count, almost a three. Regal gets a sunset flip but Vito hooks Regal’s legs and gets the three count.
Winner: Vito
Over it. Two out of Ten.
Bobby Lashley is backstage; he says he doesn’t yell, scream or say outlandish things. He just goes out and does what he does. He welcomes pressure and has used this chance for the Number One Contender, and says next week Cole will ask him what it’s like to be challenging for the Championship, and the week after that Cole will ask him what it’s like to BE the Champion.
Still to come: Bobby Lashley vs Batista vs Finlay, Up Next: MVP’s SmackDown debut!
Commercials.
Montel Vontavious Porter makes his way out. I absolutely love the Power Rangers chants, I so want to see the Power Rangers again. MVP says that there’s a problem, and that there’s no competition for him there and, to make matters worse, Long is trying to play him. MVP blames Long for the .. fighting machine with a hell of a reputation .. that the jobber fodder did. MVP begs for some competition on SmackDown, and Long makes his way on out. Long says that if he wants competition then, after his match tonight, he may not have any teeth left. Long says if MVP wants someone who will make him sweat, and says it’s about to get real hot .. right now! Kane! Sweet! MVP stops a referee from ringing the bell a few times before claiming he’s got something in his eye and exits the ring, but Kane follows and attacks! Kane destroys MVP around the ring before MVP escapes for backstage.
Commercials.
Mysterio makes his entrance for his match against Noble, before the Guerreros make their way out and promise that they won’t get involved in Mysterio’s match.
Commercials.
Third Contest: Jamie Noble vs Rey Mysterio
We’re back and the match looks to be in full swing, with Mysterio and Noble exchanging blows before Noble gets the upper hand. Mysterio off the ropes with a headscissors takedown to Noble but Noble drags him into the middle turnbuckle and sets him up in the corner for a chop and blow, Mysterio tries for a comeback, Noble regains the upper hand and sends him into the opposing corner. Mysterio gets his boots up in the corner but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Noble, getting him a failed pinfall attempt. Scoop slam and leg drop get Noble a one count. Mysterio comes off the ropes into a high knee which gets Noble a two. Rib breaker gets Noble some failed pinfall attempts, before he drives his knee in between Mysterio’s shoulder and pulls back on the arm. “Eddie” chant, ugh. Mysterio gets a springboard moonsault for a two. Mysterio with a hurricanrana before he gets the seated senton, but runs into a powerslam by Noble! Noble goes for a back drop but Mysterio lands behind him and sets Noble up for the 619! 619 connects and top rope leg drop finishes Noble off.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
I miss 2003; remember how good their matches where? Not even bother watching, let alone judging, especially since it was just there to further the Mysterio / Guerrero feud, unlike Vito / Regal. -One out of Ten. Post match, Chavo Guerrero gets on the microphone and asks himself if he’s proud of himself. Mysterio asks him what he’s trying to say. Guerrero says he’s lower now than when he retired earlier this year, and losing to Mysterio makes him sick. Mysterio says he makes him sick and that Guerrero is making him sick. Guerrero says so long as they’re both on SmackDown then it will never be over, and the only way for this to be over is for one of them to quit .. before he challenges Mysterio to an I Quit match on next week’s episode, with the loser quitting! Mysterio asks if he really wants to get beat again? Vickie gets on the microphone and says that the difference between Eddie and Mysterio is that her Eddie .. had balls. Every week, I like Vickie just that little bit more. Mysterio says he’ll prove to both of them what he is made out of and accepts Guerrero’s challenge, but the words will be coming out of Guerrero’s mouth!
Commercials.
Maryse welcomes us back to SmackDown.
Fourth Contest: Paul London, Brian Kendrick, and Jimmy Wang Yang w/ Ashley Massaro vs K.C. James, Idol Stevens, and Sylvan w/ Michelle McCool
Sylvan and Kendrick start. Lock up and Sylvan sends Kendrick into his corner, he fights off Stevens and James and dropkicks Sylvan. Stevens and James in, London and Yang in, and a six man brawl starts up.Stevens and Idol outside only to get nailed with suicide dives from Yang and London. Kendrick goes for an attack to the outside but runs into a clothesline by Sylvan. Sylvan with a scoop slam for a failed pinfall attempt. Sylvan chokes Kendrick at the ropes and Stevens gets a cheap shot to Kendrick. Stevens in and sets up Kendrick on the second rope and James drops a knee into his lower back. Sylvan back in and knocks Yang off the apron. Sylvan sends Kendrick into the corner but runs into a punch by Kendrick, who tags in Yang. Yang in with clotheslines before he kicks Sylvan down! Yang with a spinning heel kick, goes for the pinfall but Stevens and James break it up. London, Stevens, and James take it outside while Kendrick nails Sylvan with a Doctor Pete (I believe Cole said he calls it that), Yang with a Moonsault for the three count.
Winners: Paul London, Brian Kendrick, and Jimmy Wang Yang
To think, if they’d have given this five more minutes – I’d have enjoyed it. Yeah, I know, a London and Kendrick match that I didn’t care for? It’s the heat, people, and Summer hasn’t even started yet! … Maybe Eric was right, that fat stripper at No Mercy has made me reconsider … nah. -Two out of Ten. Too meaningless and all over the place for me to even consider it anything apart from negative points.
RAW Rebound: Show, Cena, and Booker where on absolute fire in that opening segment too incase you hadn’t noticed by now.
Finlay is backstage. He threatens Cole before saying he’ll be the best Champion we’ve ever seen – a fighting Champion. Tonight, he’s going to knock Lashley’s teeth out and beat Batista.
Commercials.
Batsta is backstage. He says he doesn’t want the title handed to him and doesn’t care how many guys he’s got to go through, he’s on a mission to regain his Championship.
King Booker and Queen Sharmell (looking great tonight, by the way) make their way to ringside for the next contest.
Commercials.
Main Event: Number One Contendership: Bobby Lashley vs Finlay vs Batista
Batista and Lashley attack Finlay first, he exits the ring and the two lock up. Batista with elbows to Lashley and spears in the corner, but Lashley gets Batista in the corner for spears and elbows of his own. Lashley and Batista big boot each other down and Finlay enters the ring. Finlay drops some elbows and sends Batista outside. Uppercut to Lashley by Finlay. Finlay drops some elbows on Lashley, but Lashley eventually trips Finlay. Lashley hits the Running Powerslam but the Little Bastard stops the referee from counting the three count! Lashley chases the Little Bastard, clotheslines down Finlay in the meanwhile and goes for the Little Bastard only to find him gone. We’ve apparently taken a commercial break and Finlay has Lashley in a rear choke hold.
Batista dominates the two and nails Finlay with a slam, spear in the corner to Lashley, clotheslines Finlay outside before he Spinebusters Lashley. Batista’s thumbs are down and he goes for the Batista Bomb, but Finlay stops it! Lashley and Finlay double team Batista but Batista fights them off and sends them both into the steel steps before he stares at Booker, before he sets up the Announcer’s Table. Batista picks up Finlay, Lashley attacks Batista but Batista gets the upper hand, but Finlay stops Batista this time! Finlay and Lashley pick up Batista and send him through the Announcer’s Table! Lashley is back in the ring and daring on Finlay. The two circle and Finlay attacks Lashley, getting in the short arm clothesline for a one count.
Uppercuts by Finlay, Lashley back with elbows but gets an eye poke before Finlay gets another short arm for a two this time. Lashley with elbows to Finlay, Finlay gets sent into the ropes but hooks them! Lashley was planning to jump over Finlay but falls flat! Finlay sends Lashley shoulder first into the steel post and nails the Celtic Cross Emerald Fusion, he gets almost a three count but gets pulled off of Lashley by Batista! Finlay puts Batista back down with a boot, and Lashley takes it right to Finlay in the corner. Lashley goes for the military gut press, but Batista nails a spear out of nowhere! Batista nails Lashley with a clothesline but turns into a DDT by Finlay for a two count! The Little Bastard sent a chair into the ring but the referee catches it! Finlay nails Lashley with the shillelagh and goes to hit Batista, but Batista gets the Batista Bomb and the three count with it!
Winner And Number One Contender: Batista
Meh match, at best. The only good moments in this match where seeing how interesting Finlay and Lashley make as a team, and Batista spearing Lashley while he’s got Finlay in the military press. I really didn’t much care about this, but those two moments get it something at least. Two out of Ten. Cole announces that when Booker defends his title next week, Big Show and John Cena will be there to watch his title defence! And that’s the end of SmackDown.
Mr Kennedy vs Chris Benoit: 7/10
Vito vs William Regal: 2/10
Rey Mysterio vs Jamie Noble: -1/10
London, Kendrick, and Yang vs Idol, Stevens, and Sylvan: -2/10
Bobby Lashley vs Batista vs Finlay: 2/10
SmackDown 13/10/06: 8/50
The Inside Pulse
Boy gee, we sure ended that run of good SmackDowns with a thud didn’t we? It’s such a pity too because every single match could’ve been really good. When I first started at Inside Pulse I asked the other staff members for any advice, and Mark Neeley told me that I shouldn’t be afraid to bash the hell out of a show .. of course we had the usual JBL goodness, and there where a few little things (like Vickie Guerrero continues to slowly improve .. there was no Diva Search Talent Contest, which automatically makes me think higher of this week’s show), and outside of a great way to open this show just drove right off a cliff and into a giant pile of godzilla shit. I don’t tend to be very positive when tired and exhausted.
Until next week, go and watch something good.
