Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA Sacrifice 2006 — 5/14/06

The Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA Sacrifice 2006 — Sunday, May 14, 2006

– The PPV-opening video is really just an extended version of the commercial that ran on TV, narrated by the James Earl Jones soundalike talking about adversity, sacrifice, and a man’s own self. “There is no great reward without great sacrifice.” Good enough.

– 2006 World X Cup – Second Round: Jushin “Thunder” Liger vs. Petey Williams

Mike Tenay explains that this is the final second-round match of the World X Cup and gives us the current standings: Team USA in 1st place with 5 points, Team Mexico in 2nd place with 2 points, and Team Canada and Team Japan tied with 0 points. Team Japan accompanies Liger, while Petey is all alone. Basic, solid action to start until Liger ducks a charge and Petey sails out to to ringside before Liger climbs to the top turnbuckle and dives down to the floor on the Team Canada Captain. Petey rams Liger against the guardrail and rolls him back inside, but the other three members of Team Japan attack Petey before he can climb in while Jushin distracts referee Slick Johnson. Don West points out that we’ve seen Team Canada do the same thing so many times as Liger lands a somersault splash off the ropes for a two-count. Liger stretches Petey in a surfboard and goes for a frogsplash, but Petey gets the knees up and hits a spinning heelkick. Petey plants Liger with a twisting DDT for two and drops him with the Canadian Legsweep, but Liger escapes the Canadian Destroyer and decks Williams with a palm thrust.

Liger lifts Petey for a running Ligerbomb and…the signal goes out. Apparently, we are experiencing technical difficulties and when we come back, we see Samoa Joe getting ready in his darkened locker room, but there’s no sound. I guess the match is over.

– Great, the sound is back on and we can hear West & Tenay as they run through tonight’s lineup. Hey, we already bought the PPV, stop shilling.

– Jeremy Borash interviews AMW with Gail Kim and Jackie Gayda, who is overacting…I mean, crying. JB tries to ask her what’s wrong, but Chris Harris says the only thing that matters is the tag title and that they’re tired of two guys jumping together as a team and challenging them, like Dutt & Sabin and now tonight Styles & Daniels. The Wildcat mentions that Gail is banned from ringside, but claims they have friends in high places. James Storm points out that AJ couldn’t kill him at Lockdown and AMW torment Jackie until she finally announces that she’s pregnant. JB congratulates her, but Gail says everybody hates her and finally fires her. Why didn’t they just do that in the beginning so we wouldn’t have had to suffer through this convoluted storyline over the last few months?

– A video package builds up the tag title bout and the “Gail barred from ringside” stipulation.

– NWA World Tag Team Title: AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels vs. America’s Most Wanted [champions]

West mentions the title bout between these teams on New Year’s Eve, which was the first televised wrestling match of 2006. Harris harrasses West on their way out and forces him to wish his mom a Happy Mother’s Day, which is kinda funny for a heel. The Phenomenal Angels go on the offensive right off the bat and control AMW, as Daniels bodyslams Storm on top of Harris and they drop Storm with a back-suplex/flying clothesline double-team. Great teamwork from the challengers until the Wildcat eyepokes Daniels and AMW isolate the Fallen Angel, working him over in their side of the ring with their own old-school heel teamwork. Daniels finally avoids a double-team and makes the hot tag to Styles, who unloads on both men and nails Harris with a discus clothesline for a two-count. Daniels tags back in and goes to the top, but Storm meets him up there and hooks him for a superplex; however, Styles sneaks in underneath for an electric chair and Harris comes in under him, powerbombing AJ, who in turn drops Storm in the electric chair for a nice Tower of Doom spot that Daniels was smart enough to stay out of. Daniels then dives off the top with a high crossbody on Storm for a near-fall and the action spills out to the floor. Daniels tosses Harris into the crowd and Styles springboards from the ring over the guardrail with a clothesline on the Wildcat, which is quite a distance.

AMW set up AJ for the Hart Attack, but Daniels catches Harris running off the ropes in a fireman’s carry as Styles escapes from Storm and nails the Pele on Harris as Daniels drills him with a Death Valley Driver. That gets a close near-fall for Daniels as Styles misses a springboard on Storm and splats on the floor. Daniels lands on his feet when Harris rolls out of the way of the BME and he catches Storm’s foot when the Cowboy tries a superkick, but Harris spears Daniels for two. Daniels tags Styles, who springboards in with a dual-clothesline on AMW and blocks an inverted tornado DDT from Storm, but Harris lifts AJ on his shoulders and Storm plants him with the Swinging Noose (I knew there was a name for that) for a near-fall. All four men are in the ring as Daniels dumps Harris to the floor and lands the BME on Storm before Styles adds the frogsplash, but the Cowboy barely kicks out. I thought that was it. Storm tries to roll Styles up using the ropes for leverage, but Daniels kicks him off the ropes. AJ goes for the Styles Clash, but Storm lowblows him and superkicks him for two. Daniels plants Storm with the Angel’s Wings and covers, but Harris makes the save and he goes tumbling over the top with Daniels, bumping the ref along the way.

A nightstick falls from the sky into the ring as Daniels misses an Arabian moonsault to the floor and crashes against the railing. A camera looks up to the rafters, where we see Gail Kim since she was barred from ringside. Meanwhile, AJ drops Storm with the Styles Clash, but Harris picks up the nightstick and clubs Styles, allowing Storm to roll over on top for the pin to retain the NWA World Tag Team Championship. Afterwards, Gail celebrates in the rafters while Daniels attends to Styles. Really good tag match with a perfectly acceptable finish to prolong the feud, leading to even better matches in the future.

– Jeremy Borash interviews A1 with Larry Zbyzsko, who bitches about Raven and puts over A1 as the solution to his problem. A1 calls Larry “Barry” and heads out as Slick Johnson arrives and announces that we will see the New Face of TNA Management next month at Slammiversary. Slick teases Larry with the names of Roddy Piper, Vince Russo, and the Ultimate Warrior as JB marks out for each name, only to be disappointed when Slick admits he was kidding each time. Stupid. I love Cornette, but why tease the fans with such big names? I’m surprised they didn’t throw Chris Jericho’s and Goldberg’s names in there too.

– A video package recaps Zbyzsko’s saga with TNA Management and Coach D’Amore offering A1 to help Larry deal with Raven.

– A1 vs. Raven

Zbyzsko comes out with A1 and sits in a chair in mid-ring, but stands up to confront Raven when he enters the ring and A1 blasts the distracted Raven with the chair. The referee holds A1 back as Larry stomps Raven before stepping out to the floor and joining West & Tenay on commentary. Tenay questions why Larry would push his luck like this when he’s on probation from TNA Management while A1 rams Raven’s back into the ringpost and the guardrail at ringside. Back inside, A1 completely dominates Raven and removes a turnbuckle pad, but Raven battles back with his usual comeback offense, some straight kicks to the gut, and even a backcracker. However, Zbyzsko leaves the broadcast table and holds Raven in the corner as A1 charges, but Raven escapes and A1 slams into the uncovered turnbuckle. Raven plants A1 with the Raven Effect DDT for the 1-2-3. Afterwards, Zbyzsko challenges the damaged Raven and they have a pullapart brawl.

– Jeremy Borash interviews Scott Steiner & Jeff Jarrett, who says that Sting didn’t choose Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, or Rick Steiner as his partner tonight because the TNA game has passed them by. IRONY! Jarrett claims that Sting won’t be able to trust Samoa Joe, and Big Poppa Pump predicts that Joe’s undefeated streak will come to an end this evening. Jarrett & Steiner grip hands to display their unity.

– A video package recaps Rhino’s issues with Team Canada.

– Bobby Roode vs. Rhino

Coach D’Amore makes his first appearance of the night to accompany his Canadian Enforcer; I thought this would lead to dissension since he didn’t come out with Petey earlier, but it didn’t. Roode slaps Rhino in the face to set off the War Machine, who tosses Roode to the floor and suplexes him on the ramp. Back inside, D’Amore prods Rhino with the hockey stick flagpole to distract him long enough for Roode to knock him over the top rope to ringside, where D’Amore sneaks in some stomps before rolling Rhino back in. Roode scores a two-count after a neckbreaker and hits the Mr. Perfect rolling necksnap for another two as Tenay points out that Rhino had major neck surgery a few years ago. Flying kneedrop off the middle turnbuckle earns Roode another two as he continues to work over Rhino’s head and neck to hold the advantage, but the War Machine fights out of a chinlock and unloads on the Enforcer. Spinebuster gets two and a superplex earns a near-fall, but Roode comes back with a spinning uranage for two. Roode goes for the Northern Lariat, but Rhino ducks and slams him with the belly-to-belly suplex. Roode grabs the ref’s leg to distract him as D’Amore comes in and cracks the hockey stick across Rhino’s back, but Rhino no-sells it and grabs the Coach by the jacket. However, D’Amore slips out of his jacket and retreats as Roode nails Rhino with the Northern Lariat for the un-deux-trois. Afterwards, D’Amore and Roode gloat on the ramp.

– Jeremy Borash interviews Team 3D as Ray says that they’ll never forget where they were on “9/11”, or when they found out President Bush was re-elected, or when they heard that OJ was found not guilty. Devon defends OJ’s innocence, but Ray says that “he whacked that white girl and you know it” before getting to the point: they know where they were on February 27, 2000, explaining that they were in Hartford beating the New Age Outlaws for their first “WWE” Tag Team Championship. Ray predicts that history will repeat itself tonight and Devon testifies.

– A video package builds up the 3D/James Gang match.

– The James Gang vs. Team 3D

During their prematch micwork, BG claims that he isn’t a “mark” like Bubba so he doesn’t know his win-loss record and points out that the Dudleys needed a lead pipe to beat them in the WWF. West notes that the match in 2000 was the only time these two teams ever faced each other as Devon and Kip go back-and-forth before they both tag out and Ray armdrags BG, telling him that it was indeed an armdrag. BG responds with an armdrag of his own and adds “THAT was an armdrag” before pulling out a hiptoss and a standing dropkick as BG looks proud of himself and Tenay notes that we don’t often see dropkicks from BG. Ray one-ups BG by hiking up his jeans and throwing a dropkick of his own to pop the crowd. Not bad for such a big guy, actually. Ray and BG exchange their trademark punches and touch knuckles to signify a mutual respect, but BG blindsides Ray when he turns around. Devon responds by grabbing BG’s legs from ringside and pulling him crotch-first around the ringpost. “We want tables” chant as Team 3D control BG until the former Road Dogg avoids a double-team and tags Kip, who cleans house and Stinger Splashes both of the former Dudleys. All four men slug it out in the ring until Ray dumps Kip over the top rope and Team 3D trigger the Doomsday Device on BG for a two-count. Devon covers BG again after a back-suplex/neckbreaker double-team, but Kip makes the save and then prevents a 3D on BG. Devon hurls Kip over the top and the ref starts to count him out as BG retrieves a lead pipe and whallops Devon with it to score the three-count. Afterwards, BG motions that they’re even at 1-1 now. The match was better than expected (which isn’t saying much, I know) because it seems like they had fun with the low expectations by incorporating the “anything you can do, I can do better” sequence between BG and Ray.

– Jeremy Borash interviews Abyss with James Mitchell, who cuts a good promo promising that Abyss will be declared the undisputed World Champion tonight and put Christian through one last table: the one awaiting him at the morgue.

– Tenay has finally been informed that they lost power earlier, so they show the ending of the opening match-up: Petey Williams kicks out of the running Ligerbomb and sets Jushin up for the Canadian Destroyer, but one of the masked Team Japan members (I guess it’s Minoru, but he wasn’t wearing a mask at Lockdown) hops up on the apron to distract Petey and the referee. Meanwhile, Hirooki Goto sneaks in to lowblow Petey and Liger pins him. Afterwards, they drape the Japanese flag over the defeated Team Canada Captain. That victory puts Team Japan in 2nd place with 3 points as we go to the Gauntlet final.

– 2006 World X Cup – Final Round – Gauntlet: Team Japan (Minoru & Hirooki Goto & Black Tiger & Jushin “Thunder” Liger) vs. Team Mexico (Puma & Incognito & Magno & Shocker) vs. Team Canada (Petey Williams & Johnny Devine & Eric Young & Tyson Dux) vs. Team USA (Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt & Alex Shelley & Jay Lethal)

Christy Hemme comes out and stands by the announce table in front of a grinning Don West so that she can present the trophy to the winner. Ring announcer David “Too Hot For TV” Penzer explains that two men will start for a two-minute period and a new competitor will enter every 60 seconds after that, with over-the-top eliminations like a battle royal; when it comes down to only two men at the end, pinfalls and submissions will decide the winner. The first entrant is Minoru (without a mask…what the f*ck is going on here?) and the second is Puma as Tenay explains that Puma trained at the New Japan Dojo, so he has an edge over the Japanese. Puma naively accepts a handshake, but Minoru spits in his face and tries to throw him out. However, Puma lands on the apron and springboards back in with a missile dropkick. Great wrist-clutch fisherman buster by Minoru and he covers, but the referee at ringside reminds him pins don’t count. Man, wrestlers are DUMB. Team Canada Captain Petey Williams is entrant #3 and helps Minoru double-team Puma before turning on the Team Japan member as West recalls that Minoru helped screw Petey earlier. Entrant #4 is Team USA Captain Chris Sabin, who unloads on everybody and decks Petey and Puma with a sweet Asai moonsault.

Hirooki Goto comes in #5, followed by Incognito making his TNA debut at #6 as he wipes out Petey on the floor with a suicide dive through the ropes. #7 is Johnny Devine and #8 is Sonjay Dutt, who dives off the top with a dual-crossbody on Goto & Minoru and snaps off an inverted huracanrana on Devine. That’s a crazy bump. Black Tiger is #9 and #10 is Magno, who springboards in with a corkscrew armdrag on Devine. Tiger retreats to the floor after a huracanrana and Magno dives onto him with an Asai moonsault as Eric Young enters at #11 and gets a loud “Eric” chant. We get the 1st and 2nd eliminations when Sonjay takes Incognito over the top rope with a huracanrana and falls out with him. Dutt clutches his ankle on the floor and has to be helped to the back as Alex Shelley comes out at #12 and snap-suplexes Petey onto Eric, then sits Petey on Eric’s shoulders and drives them both down with a reverse STO on Petey. Shelley dodges a clothesline from Devine, who ends up knocking Sabin over the top for the 3rd elimination before Alex dumps Johnny out for the 4th elimination. Was that Johnny’s Paparazzi Productions audition? Team Japan Captain Jushin Liger is lucky #13 and makes Magno the 5th elimination with some help from Tiger as Team Mexico Captain Shocker enters at #14 and drops Liger and Shelley with a pair of tilt-a-whirl backbreakers.

Black Tiger sails over the top for the 6th elimination when Shocker dropkicks his knees during a charge as Tyson Dux is #15. I remember this guy from a WWE dark match a couple years back. Shelley tosses Goto over the top but he lands on the apron, so Shelley dropkicks Goto off the apron for the 7th elimination as Jay Lethal is the last to enter at #16. A timer still counts anyway, but disappears. Oh TNA, you’re so cute! Lethal dropkicks Minoru off the apron for the 8th elimination and Shelley elevates Shocker over the top for the 9th elimination. Liger tries to push Young over the top, but Dux sneaks up and dumps out the Japanese legend for the 10th elimination. Lethal quickly clotheslines Eric over the top to score the 11th elimination and double-teams Dux with Shelley, who clotheslines Tyson over the top for the 12th elimination. Shelley charges at Petey, but the Team Canada Captain ducks and Alex flies over the top to become the 13th elimination. Puma spinkicks Lethal to knock him over the top for the 14th elimination, although it was pretty obvious that Jay did most of the work there, leaving Puma and Petey as the finalists. Petey drills Puma with the Canadian Destroyer for the un-deux-trois to win the Gauntlet and catapult Team Canada into a tie for first place since the victory was worth 5 points.

Afterwards, the Canadians celebrate at ringside while Kevin Nash storms the ring and drops Puma with the Jackknife and a big boot. Nash is pissed off that he’s there on Mother’s Day and wonders if this was an “incognito battle royal” because he doesn’t know who any of them are. Nash brags about Puma getting no offense on him and states that a mediocre big man will always beat any X Division superstar because “size DOES matter”. The commentators point out how wrong Nash is as Big Kev displays some mock martial-arts poses and nobody comes out to defend the X Division. Yeah, looking back now I guess this angle was doomed from the beginning. Combined with Samoa Joe holding the X Title and not defending it for several weeks, Nash pretty much killed the X Division starting from this point on and it still hasn’t recovered. Pisses me off, so let’s move on.

– Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe, who explains that he was brought in to complete a task and doesn’t need to hold hands with Sting to kick some ass. The X Division Champion threatens to knock the King Of The Mountain off his throne and plans to make his reputation by killing Steiner’s.

– A video package recaps the buildup for the big tag team match, including Sting’s “Deal Or No Deal” act and his final choice of Joe as his partner. The James Earl Jones voiceover dude says that Joe’s name is “synonymous with violence” and calls him “the ultimate killing machine”.

– Scott Steiner & Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe & Sting

On his way down the aisle, Sting says “Joe’s… gonna kill ya!” into the camera, which is cool. The commentators note that Joe has never functioned well in tag teams, bringing up his assault on Christopher Daniels last year, as Sting pounds Jarrett to start. Steiner tags in and Sting overpowers him with a Vaderbomb before Jarrett runs in and Sting drop-toeholds him onto Steiner. The Stinger dives off the top with a dual-clothesline on the villains and the crowd chants “Joe” as Sting makes the tag. Steiner trashtalks Joe and Joe piefaces him, but Steiner throws chops in the corner (“ain’t no X Division chops!” shouts Jarrett from the apron…thanks Jeff, we get the point) and slams him with an overhead belly-to-belly. Steiner clotheslines Joe and drops the elbow, but Joe kicks out as Steiner opts to do pushups and flex his biceps. Joe no-sells some forearms and begins to unload, but Jarrett catches him with a knee to the back when he runs the ropes and Steiner catches him in another overhead belly-to-belly. Jarrett tags in and dropkicks Joe, then yells out that this isn’t the X Division. No shit. Joe catches Jarrett with the standing uranage and tags Sting, who cleans house until Jarrett DDTs him while the ref keeps Joe from coming in to help. Steiner scores a two-count and plants Sting with the rotation belly-to-belly for another two as Jarrett tags in and Garvin Stomps the Stinger. Tenay actually namedrops Ron Garvin too.

Sting fights out of a front-facelock and tags Joe, but of course the ref was busy with Steiner and didn’t see it so he ushers Joe back out. Sting and Steiner crack heads and Sting collapses head-first into Scott’s groin before making the hot tag to Joe, who snap-powerslams Jarrett for two and decks Joe with the inverted atomic drop followed by the running one-foot dropkick. Senton backsplash and a mock bicep pose by Joe, who ducks a double-clothesline attempt and dual-clotheslines the heels himself. Joe motions Sting into the ring and stacks Jarrett & Steiner in a corner, then Sting whips Joe into them with the flying knee on Steiner and Sting follows with the Stinger Splash on Jarrett. Sting slingshots over the top with a plancha, but comes up way too short and misses Steiner. Meanwhile, Joe drops Jarrett with a running powerslam and covers him, but Gail Kim puts his foot over the rope. Jarrett sneaks in a mulekick to the groin and Strokes Joe, but he takes forever to cover him so of course Joe kicks out. I still hate that. JUST LET SOMEBODY KICK OUT OF IT WITHOUT TELEGRAPHING IT. Jarrett lifts Joe in a fireman’s carry (impressive) and sits him on the top turnbuckle for the Super Stroke, but Joe blocks it and nails him with a jumping kick to stun him. Joe brings Jarrett off the turnbuckles and kills him with the Muscle Buster for the deciding pinfall in a truly historic moment for the Samoan Submission Machine.

Afterwards, Sting offers the Hand of Respect and Joe finally shakes it before leaving as Sting points at him. Steiner waffles Sting with a chair and Jarrett busts the guitar over his head as the crowd chants “Joe’s Gonna Kill You”, but Joe decides to keep on walking rather than going back to help the Stinger. Big Poppa Pump applies the Steiner Recliner until Rhino, Jay Lethal, Christopher Daniels, Chris Sabin, and the James Gang run out and chase off Planet Jarrett. The conspiracy theorist in me wonders if this angle was done to try to kill some of Joe’s popularity by having him walk away instead of kicking some ass, since the Impact Zone would have exploded if Joe had run back down and destroyed Jarrett & Steiner, but even if it’s true it didn’t work anyway. Joe’s popularity is just a f*cking force of nature.

– A really cool video package recaps the Christian/Abyss storyline, with no noise except for some horror-movie-soundtrack style piano chords. Now THIS should have opened the PPV. Awesome.

– Jeremy Borash interviews Christian Cage, who states that he still feels like a champion even though Abyss stole the belt and calls James Mitchell “Elvira with a sex change”. Is that the best he could do? That had to be a Jeff Jarrett suggestion with such a dated reference. The NWA Champion says just because you carry the belt doesn’t mean you’re the champ and tells Abyss to ask Jarrett about that since “he did it for four years”. Ouch. Christian claims that he made TLC matches famous and vows to get his belt back, because THAT’S… (how he rolls).

– NWA World Heavyweight Title – Full Metal Mayhem: Abyss vs. Christian Cage [champion]

Before the entrances, a backstage camera shows each man as they head toward the entrance tunnel, and after the entrances we get JB’s Super Special Ring Introductions. This is your basic ladder match with the NWA belt hanging from the ceiling. Abyss catches Christian going for a crossbody and tries to turn it into a running powerslam, but Cage slips out and grabs him for the Unprettier; however, Abyss counters with a Shock Treatment attempt and Cage escapes, then spears the Monster and punches him on the mat. Abyss avalanches Cage in the corner and goes out to retrieve a ladder, but Christian dropkicks it in his face and puts the ladder in between the ropes. Back inside, Abyss dumps Christian to the apron and Christian pushes down one end of the ladder so that the other end cracks Abyss in the face. Good spot to show Cage’s experience in TLC-style matches. Cage takes Abyss over the top rope with a Cactus Clothesline and they brawl into the crowd briefly. Back to the ring, Abyss props up the ladder in the corner and positions Cage in front of it, but when Abyss charges, Christian moves and the Monster eats the steel. Abyss throws the ladder in Cage’s face and wedges a chair in the turnbuckles, but Christian kicks him low and drives Abyss’ head into the chair. Christian climbs the ladder, but Abyss knocks it over and decks Christian with a big boot.

Abyss lays the ladder in the corner and they struggle until Abyss catches Christian charging and back-bodydrops him onto the ladder. Abyss goes to the floor and positions two tables side-by-side before setting up another table in the ring. Cage dodges a charge and Abyss eats the ladder again, but Cage misses a frogsplash off the top turnbuckle and lands on the ladder. They go out to ringside, where Cage ducks a swing of the chain and stands on the apron, hanging Abyss with his chain until the Monster yanks his chain and Cage crashes through one of the tables set up earlier. Ouch, there was a chair on that table too. Back inside, Abyss climbs the ladder, but Christian climbs up the other side to meet him and the ladder tips over. Bad landing for Christian as his leg lands on the top rope. Mitchell brings in a bag of thumbtacks and Abyss empties the bag on the mat, but Christian comes in and plants Abyss with the Unprettier on the ladder. Mitchell tries to flee, but Cage grabs him and slams him with a standing uranage on the the thumbtacks. I wondered why he had his jacket off. Cage chairshots Abyss and lays him out on the table before climbing to the top of the ladder, but rather than snatching the belt, Christian dives off and frogsplashes Abyss through the table to put over how personal their issue is. Christian then climbs up the ladder again and retrieves the belt to win the Full Metal Mayhem match and retain the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. Now THAT’S how you blow off a feud properly and effectively. Afterwards, Christian celebrates with his title belt to close the PPV.

Afterthoughts: This was a pretty good show, with some great stuff and nothing that could really be considered bad. The World X Cup was fairly pointless since the time would have been better devoted to members of the full-time active roster, but it was entertaining for what it was. The two main events both delivered, although the crowd seemed kind of drained for the Full Metal Mayhem bout after the disappointment of Joe not ripping Steiner & Jarrett apart. Solid effort from everybody, but it seemed to be more about setting the table for Slammiversary. So we’ll see you then. Thanks for reading.