Greetings everyone. Welcome back to your weekly installment of the Internet Wrestling Community’s only happy place, A Look on the Bright Side.
Around the Pulse
Eric gets back into the flow of things with his Tuesday column. Trust me, there’s some writing about wrestling in it, I promise – just be patient.
Ah, hell – you all know where else to go by now. I’m running late, so no more pimps this week.
The You Tube Video of the Week
You knew this one was coming: the Miami-FIU brawl. This clip is especially entertaining for the commentary by former Miami Hurricane Lamar Thomas (it starts around 1:45), who’s yelling things like “That’s what I’m talking about!” What an unbelievable ass.
The Happy Fifteen (or so)
And now, we get to the meat of the column. The idea is fairly simple: I point out (at least) 5 things from each major show that should be getting more attention, but aren’t. (And occasionally, I just point out some absurdity just to tweak the rest of the IWC.) There’s way too much negativity infused into columnists who write about pro wrestling: this is just my little attempt to balance it out a bit.
Love the concept? Hate it? Think I missed something important from last week? See something this week that you think should be here? Email me by Tuesday evening.
And be sure to take part in the Inside Pulse Forum for A Look on the Bright Side thread too.
Friday Night Smackdown
1. I wrote about this concerning John Cena’s facial reaction last week: Kennedy’s reaction to hearing Chris Benoit’s music was dead-on perfect. A simple sigh, and closing the eyes shut – that got across the idea of “Oh hell, not this guy.” Despite Eric’s protestations, this is one of the reasons I think Kennedy is really going to be huge within a year or two – he just gets it.
2. A 20 minute match to open the show? Wait – are they trying to get the audience to adjust to a different style of match altogether? Well hey, I’m all in favor of it.
3. While I don’t necessarily agree with JBL that MVP looks like “a Bud light can”, I will say that his ring attire is the worst I’ve seen since Aldo Montoya. The “Power Ranger” chant was a nice touch.
4. Am I crazy, or was the crowd popping like mad for Jimmy Wang Yang? And that was before he pulled off that series of high kicks and leg lariats, and that beautiful looking moonsault. Wow – I had assumed this gimmick was a career-killer, but I guess his enthusiasm for it might actually overcome that. Color me shocked.
5. Okay, I know the pictures from the Maria & Ashley photo shoot are somewhere out there on the Intraweb. Someone please email me a link.
6. The concept of Lashley and Finlay working together to take out Batista was a nice twist on the triple threat match. I honestly can’t remember the last time a face and a heel struck up that kind of alliance before – especially against another face.
Monday Night Raw
1. A D-X spoof from Edge and Orton. Well, I guess we had to expect this fairly soon. But Edge’s imitation of “Are you ready?” is spot-on. Otherwise, though – somewhat uninspired mic-work from Edge and young Randall.
2. However, I was not expecting to see the real D-X show up this early – when the music hit the second time, I’m afraid to admit – I was expecting midgets. But I have to admit, the confused/amused looks on D-X did put across the perfect message from them right off the bat: I thought the first line would be: “Wait – who are you?”
3. The crowd response to D-X’s entrance was really insane – but I put at least 50% of the credit on that due to the fact that they actually had a credible set of opponents across the ring from them. I don’t know who’s idea it was to set up this feud, but that person deserves a raise.
4. Including the Playgirl photo of Shawn Michaels – WOW. Was not expecting that one. Okay, I’ve long shared Scott Keith’s opinion of HBK: peerless inside the ring, a total dick outside of it. But now? Well, if he’s willing to let that slip into this promo, and then play off of it (“You told me girls bought that magazine!”), I’m willing to re-address that thought.
5. Shawn used the word “rhetoric”. I repeat: the word “rhetoric” got used in a pro wrestling promo, on national TV. Well, great – now we just have six more seals to go for the coming apocalypse.
6. Both members of Cryme Tyme are wrestling in Timberland boots – i.e. shit-kickers, if you go by the vernacular of my youth. Honestly, that just can’t be comfortable on their feet and ankles – but I admire their devotion to the characters.
7. And hold on a moment – Cryme Time have already been shown to be two known criminals: they (okay, their characters) would mercilessly pummel about 98% of the audience out there, given half the chance. So, they’ve being booked as faces? Umm, what?
8. Yes, I know the Booker T/Coachman/Cryme Time segment was bordering on being racially offensive (for some, it might be well beyond “bordering”). But, you had 5 African-Americans on screen at one time, all majorly involved in the ongoing storyline. One was the champ, and one was on-screen management. When was the last time that happened?
9. The big dude in Cryme Time yelling out “King BOO-KAH!!” was a nice touch. I’m honestly just glad they didn’t avoid these guys after their debut match. I think I have to check with Mathan or Michaelangelo to see if I’m supposed to be offended by their portrayal – but I think so far, they’ve been played perfectly.
10. Coach: “Did-.. did you understand a thing…” Booker: “I don’t speak Ebonics!” Wow. Considering the new Moodspins column that I’ve started with Mathan, I found this especially amusing.
11. It took a little while to set up, but that neckbreaker by Benjamin onto Masters while he had Super Crazy in the “Master Lock” – that was awesome. Combine that with the powerbomb/superplex sequence from earlier in the match, and I’m left wondering: how in the hell did Chris freakin’ Masters get involved in two of the coolest spots of the month?
12. Honestly, I really don’t understand some of the hatred (including writers on this site) about Kevin Federline’s appearance – it’s just another reason to get some mainstream press exposure. I mean, sure – if he ends up with the World Heavyweight title next week, I’ll decry it as loud as anybody else. But, he allowed himself to look like an ass, played off the crowd heat (and seemed to enjoy it), and got FU’ed in the middle of the ring (and sold it like he was dead). So – what’s the big deal? (Although I will agree that hearing Kevin Federline himself use the phrase “poseur” almost broke my irony meter.)
13. Also, that was an excellent idea to let Cena “free-style” with Federline there. “If K-Fed wasn’t around, I’d be spearing Britney.”
14. I am simply amazed at the number of people who ms-interpreted Steve-O’s laughter in the ring – he was simply laughing at the fact that his buddy got beat up worse than him. C’mon people, haven’t any of you seen the TV show or the movies? That’s what those guys do. He never laughed (or came close) when he himself was taking any punishment, until the very end when Umaga started stiffing the shit out of him. Man, it’s almost like people in the IWC are just looking for something to bitch about, isn’t it? (Oh right, that could never happen.)
15. Okay, I’ve never purchased a wrestling-related book in my life. But I am really giving serious thought to buying Bischoff’s forthcoming tome, if the rumors about it are true. At the very least, the promos he’s giving are just truly outstanding.
16. Now, it may have only been a few years ago, but I do understand that some of you weren’t around for the formation of the original D-X. Believe me when I tell you that the crowd reaction to HHH at the time was about what it is for Randy Orton now – possibly even less, since Trip never held the world title till after his time in D-X. Working with Shawn raised Hunter up to the point where he is now – up until then, he had no chance at a title above the I-C level. (Of course, marrying the boss’s daughter didn’t hurt either.) So when I look at Ordge and think of them as the next-generation D-X, I am fully expecting Edge to pull Orton’s game up several levels. This feud will do nothing but help this company out for the next 10 years, at least. I am really, really looking forward to a long-term angle with these four.
ECW on Sci Fi
1. Okay, at some point in time, The Sandman needs to learn what “selling an injury” is – Matt Striker has now thrown approximately 30 different moves on Sandman’s left ankle, and it has yet to be sold outside of “something that needs to be shaken off”. I can understand if Sandman is just confused by the “beat on one body part until it look like cantaloupe” strategy, since so few of the ECW regulars do that – but really, if I can recognize it, why can’t he?
2. Yes, there will be tons of people complaining about a count-out victory in ECW. Sadly enough, none of these people will remember the dozens of time that folks like Vince and Paul Heyman have said “This is not the old ECW”. Yes, there are count-outs, there are DQs, there are matches that don’t end in a pinfall. For Christ’s sake, this is how the fed has been set up from the beginning – why are people still seemingly shocked by it?
3. Especially when the count-out victory actually furthers a storyline – Matt Striker is in ECW, but he is certainly not an “extreme” wrestler. And when he was confronted with someone who was – he ran. That was totally in character for him. Hey folks, get ready – Rene Dupree is pretty much guaranteed to do the same thing within the next couple of weeks. Just suck it up, accept it, and move on, okay?
4. Continuing the Knox/Punk feud, without actually requiring a match between them, was smart (and yes, I am already getting tired of the “That last win by CM Punk was a fluke, let’s do it again!” angle). Punk has to get into a money feud with someone soon, and Knox is as good a choice as any – doing so while just teasing getting them into the ring together makes for some nice old-school build-up. Kudos, Paul.
5. Going on a non-wrestling tangent: let me get this straight – somebody took the painful social experience of being the new kid in school (which I did in the 6th grade), combined that with a hulking bully and completely psycho teenage girls, threw in some pratfalls and crotch shots — and made that into a game? Last I checked, weren’t “games” supposed to be, y’know – fun or something? Exactly whose idea of “fun” is this? “Wow, you mean I can actually pay for the privilege of being ostracized as a social outcast? Hey – sign me up!!”
6. Okay, I mentioned this last week: is this really the first time we’ve heard Test speak on camera since his return? And he was amazingly easy on the mic this whole time – set up the storyline, established past acts, got the audience to do what he wanted them to do – why exactly does the IWC hate him again? Eh – screw them. I’ve liked him since he came back (go ahead, check my past columns if you need to), and I still like him now. This should be fun.
7. Ya know, if I paid for tickets to an ECW show for myself and my son, and The Big Show gave him a stare like he gave the little girl who was ringside during his entrance, I’d — well, honestly, I’d probably sit there and do nothing (the guy is huge, after all). But if I could get together about a dozen friends or so after the show – with weapons – I’d totally kick his ass.
8. And finally, I’m happy to see that Bob Holly is healing up nicely. I could barely see that scar on his back, even going slo-mo on my TiVo.
And that’s it for this week. See you next Wednesday
