Video recap of the Triple Threat Number One Contendership from last week. Nice video package that makes special note of Finlay and Lashley’s small alliance. I hope it leads somewhere more, but chances are it was just to put over Batista’s victory more.
We’re in the Staples Center and tonight we’ve got Kane against MVP – and it’s going to start the show! We get a clip of Kane and MVP from last week before MVP gets on the microphone. He says and says some stuff and, eventually, we get the point that he isn’t threatened by Kane. Apparently.
Opening Contest: MVP vs Kane
MVP attacks Kane to start but Kane pushes him off, MVP comes back and gets hit with a throat thrust. Kane sends MVP into the corner and back into a powerslam attempt, but MVP escapes and leaves the ring but Kane follows. Kane rolls MVP back into the ring, MVP misses an elbow drop and Kane takes it back outside and MVP sends Kane into the steel steps. Back in the ring MVP takes it to Kane but Kane blocks a kick and nails a throat thrust. MVP rakes the face of Kane and kicks the knee but comes off the ropes into a big boot. Kane with a sideslam and nails MVP with a flying clothesline. Chokeslam is reversed with MVP low blows Kane, which causes a DQ.
Winner: Kane
MVP runs away from the ring afterwards. Crap. -Three out of Ten.
Backstage, King Booker is getting his wrists taped while Batista is stretching for their match tonight. It’s Batista vs King Booker for the Title in tonight’s Main Event!
Commercials.
Sweet! Mindy Sterling is in the crowd!
Burke and Turkay make their way out. Burke puts himself over as the only person able to spar with Turkay.
Second Contest: Elijah Burke w/ Sylvester Turkay vs Vito
This should be interesting. Turkay distracts Vito to start and Burke attacks from behind. Vito nails Burke with a hip toss. Vito up top and comes off with an elbow drop which misses. Burke with a kick right to the head before he hooks Vito for some knees and a double arm suplex for a one count. Burke takes it to Vito in the corner before he nails a back drop for a two count. Burke elbows Vito’s shoulder before he hooks the arm of Vito. Vito with a clothesline, elbow, and flapjack before he comes off the ropes with another clothesline and leg drop for a two count. Vito teases for the panty stain but Burke looks to get a big time low blow in and punches away at Vito, the referee pulls Burke off allowing Turkay to get Vito with a boot to the head which gives Burke the victory.
Winner: Elijah Burke
Sudden way to end Vito’s winning streak, huh? -Three out of Ten. The only difference between this and the previous match is the French Maid’s Outfit.
Stuff for The Marine.
Tonight: I Quit Match! Rey Mysterio vs Chavo Guerrero with Vickie Guerrero!
Commercials.
Backstage, Helms runs into Hardy. Helms calls Hardy’s victory a fluke and says he’s going to win the war because he’s better than he is. Hardy says you’re only as good as your last win. Helms says he’s only as good as the last championship you’ve held before saying he can beat anyone. Long overhears and books Helms in a match tonight .. against the Undertaker! Boring segment, but I’m looking forward to the match.
Regal is backstage. He says he’s been too busy being a wrench for some pirate, preoccupied with a cross dresser, and been the knight of a bogus king. He says he’s no more a servant, sick of being a whipping boy, and he’s had enough of being everyone’s joke. Regal introduces us to Dave Taylor, his long time good friend.
Still to come: Mysterio vs Guerrero.
Booker and Sharmell are backstage watching Batista vs Booker from SummerSlam.
Tonight: Batista vs King Booker
Commercials.
Third Contest: William Regal and Dave Taylor vs Funaki and Scotty Too Hotty
Regal and Funaki start off, with Regal taking it right to Funaki. Snapmare and knee drop are followed by a uppercut before Regal tags out to Taylor, who comes in with uppercuts. Taylor drops Funaki on the top turnbuckle and follows with a fall away slam before he tags back out to Regal who each split Funaki’s legs. Taylor back in with a suplex to Funaki for a two count. Uppercut to Funaki by Taylor, who tags out to Regal again. Regal hooks the head of Funaki as well as the arm before he decides to drop a knee on the back of the neck and follows with a double arm suplex. Regal comes in with a knee to the gut and forearms to the face, Funaki ducks a clothesline and comes back with a crossbody for a quick count. Regal gets in a rear naked choke before he nails an exploder suplex and nails Funaki’s head with knees. Tag out to Taylor who comes in with kicks to Funaki’s leg, scoop slam, before he tags out to Regal. Funaki tags out to Hotty but Hotty right into some knees by Regal, Taylor in with a double arm suplex for a three count.
Winners: Regal and Taylor
Fancy squash, interesting squash, but a squash none the less. Three out of Ten. Regal and Taylor continue to attack Funaki and Hotty afterwards. See, for those who don’t get it when I complain about London and Kendrick doing constant tags – it’s much more effective for a heel team to do it.
Recap of the long running Mystrerio / Guerrero feud.
Commercials.
Fourth Contest: I Quit Match: Chavo Guerrero with Vickie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio
The Guerrero’s get pretty good heat with their entrance. Guerrero starts with an uppercut and puts the boots to Mysterio. Mysterio off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and comes off with a springboard crossbody. Mysterio with the kicks to the knee of Guerrero and nails elbows in the corner. Mysterio nails a headscissor takedown, sending Guerrero outside, and follows with a flipping seated senton. Mysterio sends Guerrero into the barricade and then sends him into the steel steps, Guerrero refuses to quit so far. Mysterio slams Guerrero face first off the steel steps but he continues to refuse to quit. Mysterio whips Guerrero into the steel post. Mysterio gets a steel chair from ringside and back in the ring nails Guerrero in the gut with it and slams it over Guerrero’s back twice, he continues to not give up. Mysterio sets the chair in front of Guerrero’s face in the corner and nails a low dropkick into the chair, which goes into his face, and he continues to refuses to give him. Steel chair right to the head sends Guerrero to the second rope, and the 619 connects! Mysterio begins to climb the turnbuckle but Vickie grabs his leg and Guerrero hits Mysterio with the steel chair!
Guerrero stomps away at Mysterio, working the knee specifically. Guerrero hits the steel chair over the leg of Mysterio, but Mysterio refuses to quit .. in Spanish. Guerrero gets in a half boston crab in before he legs it go and attacks the leg again with the steel chair, eventually setting Mysterio’s leg in it and comes off the top rope with a Frog Splash to the chair! Nice. Mysterio refuses to give up before Guerrero sends him outside. On the ramp, Guerrero slams the chair over Mysterio’s leg again. Mysterio begins to limp away but Guerrero knocks him back down. Guerrero helps him up and Mysterio gets some punches in, Guerrero gets the upperhand and goes for a suplex off the ramp to the cement below but Mysterio reverses it and nails Guerrero with a suplex onto the ramp, and kicks Guerrero off the ramp onto the cement floor. Mysterio jumps off the stage with a seated senton! Very cool spot right there. Mysterio sends Guerrero into the stage, back first, before he locks Guerrero in .. a Crippler Crossface?! Mysterio gets in a strong kick to the leg of Guerrero and just happens to find a steel chair nearby and nails it across the back of Guerrero, before he forces it down onto Guerrero’s throat!
Guerrero refuses to give up. Guerrero fights back and sends Mysterio onto some equipment boxes, with Mysterio’s leg hanging off one. Guerrero tries to send onto into the leg of Mysterio but he misses, and Mysterio fights off Guerrero. Mysterio sends Guerrero into a piece of the set and begins to climb, but Guerrero attacks the knee! Mysterio is hooked in the set and Guerrero attacks it with the steel chair, and Mysterio refuses to give up! Guerrero hits it a few more times and Mysterio quits!
Winner: Chavo Guerrero
Vickie takes Chavo back into the ring for their celebrations. Well, if that doesn’t solidify Chavo now then I really doubt anything will. I really enjoyed this match. Having said that it could have been so much better. Seven out of Ten.
Commercials.
Helms and Taker make their entrances.
Commercials.
Fifth Contest: Gregory Helms vs The Undertaker
We’re back and Cole makes sure we don’t go thinking this is for Helms’ title. Obviously. Helms tries to out punch Taker early on but Taker quickly gets the advantage and nails the Snake Eyes quickly on, with the big boot following up. Taker signals for the Chokeslam and grabs Helms before Kennedy’s music hits, Helms gets in a low kick and knocks Taker outside. Taker sends Kennedy into the steel steps and catches Helms and sends him into the steel pole. Back in the ring, Taker connects with the Chokeslam. Tombstone and that’s it.
Winner: The Undertaker
Post match, Kennedy attacks Taker from behind. Taker nails Kennedy with a Chokeslam and signals for the Tombstone but Kennedy escapes the ring just in time. Squash match on a champion is the worst offence this side of a Diva Search Talent Contest. I was really wanting to see a seven minute or so match between these two but this was three minutes if lucky. Bastards. -Five out of Ten.
Backstage, Queen Sharmell and King Booker talk whilst holding the title and Batista continues to work out.
Up next … a Diva Dance Off between Jillian, Kristal, Ashley, Layla, and Michelle … right.
Commercials.
The Miz comes on out. The Hoo-rah chants quickly turn into ‘You Suck’, and Miz looks like he really can’t handle it for a moment. It’s amazing just how skinny Michelle McCool is, to me at least. Also, to those playing the home game, Layla El has new music which bores me. Nick and Aaron Carter are our judges, but truth be told, they’re the most feminine in the ring. Miz sings some Backstreet Boys before the Carters play a video of what happened at No Mercy (do we really need to be reminded of this?), and Miz shows he forgives he by forcing a hug on her. Jillian’s top totally rules mind you. Miz says that Kristal wins even though the Carters chose Layla, and a huge cat fight breaks out between the five girls before the Carters run with Layla backstage. What the hell is with Aaron Carter? Can he stop grabbing himself for a total of five seconds? You know all those white guys who wish they where black, yeah, he’s turned into one of them.
Commercials.
We get a tale of the tape between Batista and King Booker. The Big Show and John Cena make their way out to ringside.
Commercials.
Main Event: World Heavy Weight Championship: Batista vs King Booker with Queen Sharmell
The match starts with roughly about fifteen minutes left, which usually means about ten minutes worth of wrestling. Lock up and Batista forces Booker into the corner but gets counted off by the referee. Lock up again and Booker gets a headlock on Batista but gets sent into the ropes, Booker back with an elbow which doesn’t knock Batista down. Another lock up and Batista gets in a headlock, Booker sends him off and Batista’s shoulder does knock Booker down. Batista takes Booker to the corner for elbows and spears, but Booker gets an eye poke. Booker with chops to Batista. Batista ducks the crescent kick and Batista knocks Booker outside. Sharmell distracts the referee and Finlay attacks Batista! Book End! Two count!
Booker gets mounted punches to the face of Batista, and we hear Referee Nick Patrick warn Booker about the closed fists which is a nice touch I think. Hook kick gets Booker a failed pinfall attempt. Booker sets Batista up at the apron and scissor kicks him down to the outside, before he takes it back into the ring. Batista gets to his feet and Booker gets in the superkick for another two count. Booker hooks the arm of Batista, Batista looks to escape but Booker sends him into the corner but runs into clotheslines! Clothesline to Booker in the corner before Batista nails a powerslam! Booker with an eye poke but runs right into a spinebuster! Two count only! Booker gets a kick to the gut of Batista, but Batista spears Booker right into The Big Show! Batista rolls Booker back into the ring. Batista ducks a clothesline and comes back with a spear and sets up for a suplex, but Big Show attacks Batista!
Winner: Batista
Big Show continues to attack Batista, but Cena comes to the save and fights with Show and Booker! Batista and Cena nail Big Show with stereo shoulders, and Theodore Long’s music hits! Long says, if he has his way, then he’s inviting Show and Cena to come to SmackDown next week – he wants to have Show and Booker teamining up against Batista and John Cena! Batista and Cena celebrate in the ring as SmackDown fades out. Match wasn’t as horrid as I was anticipating, these two are beginning to show hope of meshing and they kept it quick, but it was still hardly anything special. Two out of Ten.
MVP vs Kane: -3/10
Elijah Burke vs Vito: -3/10
Regal and Taylor vs Hotty and Funaki: 2/10
Rey Mysterio vs Chavo Guerrero: 7/10
Gregory Helms vs Undertaker: -5/10
Batista vs King Booker: 2/10
SmackDown 20/10/06: 0/60
The Inside Pulse
It’s such a pity. Everything here should have been at least average right up to pretty good. I think this is the first time I’ve ever given a show an exact zero, I do know that we’ve come close to it a few times. Looks like we’re back in the usual SmackDown routine. Until next week, laters!
