D2 Review: Dancing with the Stars

I didn’t think Sara Evans could’ve won Dancing with the Stars, but she certainly was a much better dancer than Jerry Springer, who is a crowd favorite. Let’s face it, Willa, Vivica and even Shanna were better than Jerry. But they had about as many fans as the Florida Marlins do at an away game. Crowd favorite + reality shows = more votes = bigger ratings. I think I just figured out the Pythagorean Theorem! Damn I’m good. First, a country song and now, math. Poor Jerry’s barely hanging on by a thread. And yeah, he’s lovable like the sweet old Chinese couple that runs your favorite Dragon Panda Woo Garden. Unfortunately, it does not make any of them good dancers.

So this week, with all of that juicy gossip ala Ms. Evans, ABC and the producers of Dancing decided that Wednesday night they’d play their own game of Othello. To quote the world’s first talking moose, Bullwinkle, “Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!” First, we had the Sara shocker, then Joey ending up in the bottom 2, and then the producers decided to surprise everyone. The dancers. The judges. America. And Jerry Springer. And announced that nobody would be going home this week. They figured Sara’s departure was enough drama for the week and “Nobody puts Jerry in a corner”. And nobody was happier than Jerry. Not only was he spared in the bullfighter ring for his terrible paso doble, but thrilled that he wasn’t eliminated because he was wearing Zorro wardrobe leftovers. Apparently, you get to take home your costume. What? I guess you never know when you’ll need to show up at the Ivy in a dress with sequins and feathers or flaming-shirt-unitards with your favorite Capezios. Oh, wait”¦ these are B-listers”¦ make that the Olive Garden.

Looking forward to seeing everyone again next week!

Sir Linksalot: Dancing with the Stars