The (Late) SmackDown Report

Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

Sorry about this week’s Report not being Early. It seemed like all last night the laptop I’m using didn’t want to access InsidePulse at all.

Open up without any opening video to Batista’s entrance music. Didn’t he used to wear suits? Where have the suits gone, now he’s always in his tights. Suits rule. Batista says that he realized his life long dream of being the Champion at WrestleMania 21, ten months ago he had to surrender the title. Ever since then he’s been on a mission to reclaim his title. Boy, he’s using very specific words tonight isn’t he? He says that one man .. one irish, foreign thorn in his side has been hell bent on ruining that for him. Finlay .. cause, you know, there’s another Irish foreigner. Batista says he likes to fight as well and challenges Finlay to come out, but instead gets Paul Heyman! Heyman comes out with the Security Henchmen. Heyman introduces himself despite saying that Batista knows who he is. Nice. He says that tonight’s main event is the biggest (with massive doubt) main event ever on SmackDown. World Heavy Weight Champion King Booker and the ECW Champion The Big Show, and in the other corner WWE Champion John Cena and the Animal Batista. Heyman says that they’re all Champion but Batista, with his point being is that there’s something wrong with that fact. Heyman says that he looks, carries, and everything about him screams Champion .. before he blames Theodore Long for holding Batista back. Heyman says the fans don’t give a damn about him, but Heyman indeed does give a damn. He says he would cherish the idea to work with him in ECW, and that his talents would be appreciated in ECW and the fans would love having the Animal in ECW. Heyman asks him to consider going to ECW and Batista says it’s an interesting proposition, he shakes Heyman’s hand but then gives him the thumbs down! Batista takes out the Security only to have the Big Show attack him from behind! Batista gets a spear on Big Show but is attacked from behind by King Booker, John Cena saves Batista and fights off King Booker before the two send Big Show out of the ring as well … phew.

Still to come tonight: King Booker and The Big Show against John Cena and Batista, as well as a Trick Or Treat Diva Battle Royal – Jillian, Kristal, Ashley, Layla, and Michelle!

Commercials.

Opening Contest: Bobby Lashley and Tatanka vs William Regal and Dave Taylor
Regal and Tatanka start off. Regal gets a headlock but gets sent into the ropes, back with a shoulder block but then gets hit with a clothesline by Tatanka. Tatanka flips Taylor into the ring and nails a flapjack, before he tags out to Lashley who comes in with a spear to Regal in the corner. Lashley sends Regal into the corner for shots, backs up but runs into a knee by Regal, who sends Lashley outside for a clothesline by Taylor. Regal with knees to the head of Lashley and tags out to Taylor. Taylor with an uppercut and scoop slam to Lashley. Taylor tags out to Regal. Regal sends Lashley into the corner but runs into a high boot, and Lashley tags out to Tatanka. Tatanka in with chops to both Regal and Taylor, shoulder body tosses, and Lashley in with an overhead belly to belly to Taylor. Lashley misses a spear to Taylor and runs into the steel pole, and Regal rolls up Tatanka and gets the three count with his feet on the ropes.
Winners: William Regal and Dave Taylor

Post match, Tatanka goes nuts at the referee and takes him out. Lashley tells him to calm down but gets attacked by Tatanka too. That could lead to an interesting feud. Anyways; Taylor didn’t look injured, which makes me love WWE production even more. Three out of Ten, nice while it lasted but it didn’t last that long.

Up next: Kane against MVP – No Disqualifications!

Commercials.

Kristal Marshall is backstage with Chris Benoit! She mentions Cyber Sunday, and he says that it doesn’t matter how he feels about going against Umaga, but how the fans .. excuse me. He wanders off and sees Vickie; she simply says ‘Hey Chris’. She asks what’s going on, and he asks her what IS going with her and Chavo and Rey. She says her and Chris have nothing to talk about, and asks if he wants to talk about how Rey is trying to use Eddie’s legacy, or won’t let her family move on, before she tells him that he wasn’t as close with Eddie as he thought he was.

M.V.P is backstage with a cold, it seems, and takes his sick day. MVP walks off and Mr Kennedy enters. Kennedy says that he wants to take on The Undertaker, but Long says they both know Taker isn’t here. Long says that Mr Kennedy will take on Kane in a No Disqualification Match!

We get a clip from RAW, with Kevin Federline slapping Cena, and Show and Booker destroying Cena and Booker taking out Big Show afterwards.

Still to come: King Booker and The Big Show against John Cena and Batista

Commercials.

Vickie is backstage with Chavo, and Chavo says she needs to be careful around Benoit – he thinks Benoit suspects something. Chavo says the generic “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer” line. Ugh, I HATE that line.

Second Contest: Matt Hardy vs Gregory Helms .. Again
I’m so over this feud. Hardy with a headlock takedown, Helms with a headcissors and Hardy escapes but Helms gets the better of him. Helms gets sent into the corner for a clothesline bulldog combo for a one count. Helms sends Hardy outside, Hardy on the apron for punches and Helms goes for a suplex back into the ring but Helms slides outside and trips Hardy jaw first onto the apron, clothesline follows. Nice bit. Helms up top and off with a crossbody for a two count. Helms with mounted punches and chokes Hardy at the ropes for a few moments. Helms with a snapmare and elbow drop and a headlock follows. Hardy off the ropes with a clothesline, scoop slam follows before Hardy misses a second rope elbow drop. Helms with an inverted atomic for a two count, close to three. Helms goes for the shining wizard but Hardy ducks and gets in the Side Effect for only a two count. Hardy goes for the Twist Of Fate but Helms stops it, doesn’t get to nail the Nightmare and gets hit with a samoan drop by Hardy. Hardy covers but Helms turns it into a crucifix pinfall for the victory.
Winner: Gregory Helms

Nice and entertaining. Five out of Ten.

Everyone’s favorite tag team is backstage with Ashley Massaro, and Ashley walks in wearing a fairy costume. London and Kendrick are really gay tonight or they may have finally gotten some personality, but I think Kendrick might have a little crush on Ashley. They’d make such a cute couple, it’s making me go ‘Aw’ right now. Aw.

Up next (yes, I promise it’s next this time): Kane vs Mr Kennedy with No Disqualifications.

Commercials.

Third Contest: No Disqualifications: Kane vs Mr Kennedy
Circling to start and JBL gets in a horrid pun that Kane .. Sees No Evil. Kennedy with kicks to the leg of Kane but gets throat thrusted back. Kennedy with a headlock, gets sent into the ropes for a shoulder by Kane. Kane picks Kennedy up for a throat thrust and sends him into the corner. Kane with a hiptoss before he sends Kennedy into the corner, Kennedy back into a double handed choke lift. Kane gets a two count after a suplex. Kennedy off the ropes, gets behind Kane for some kicks but comes off the ropes into a clothesline. Kane gets a clothesline in the corner, goes for another but runs into a high kick by Kennedy Kennedy stomps away at Kane, who rolls outside, and gets in a mean right hand to Kennedy. Kane goes to send Kennedy into the steel steps but Kennedy stops him and sends Kane into the steel steps instead. Kennedy continues to work the knee and sends it into the steel pole, before going at it with a steel chair, before Kennedy gets just a one count. Kennedy takes it to Kane in the corner and hooks Kane’s knee on the rope and gets a nice running dropkick to it. Kennedy gets a two count, almost a three. Kennedy looks to go for a Figure Four but Kane kicks him out of the ring. Kennedy up top and off into a right by Kane! Kennedy and Kane exchange rights which Kennedy wins by kicking Kane’s knee. Kennedy takes Kane into the corner and backs up only to run into a clothesline. Kane clotheslines Kennedy down and nails a shoulder body toss, sideslam and Kane goes up top! Kane gets thrown off the top rope by MVP, and Kennedy gets elbow drops to the knee of Kane, before coming off the top rope with the Kenton Bomb – but misses! Kane punches MVP and Kennedy down before he throws MVP outside and turns into kicks to the knee by Kennedy, but Kennedy runs into a big boot! Kane signals for the Chokeslam but MVP gets a steel chair to the knee of Kane, and helps Kennedy get the three count!
Winner: Mr Kennedy

Meh-ish towards not bad match. The problem was with this is that is was just a bit bland. Credit where credit’s due, I suppose. Four out of Ten.

Batista is backstage with John Cena. Cena says he has Batista’s back tonight and goes for a handshake, but Batista rips him a hole because he’s trying to be polite. Cena goes all intense and says what should be his new catchphrase “Refuse .. to be stopped!”.

Commercials.

Chavo Guerrero and Vickie Guerrero make their way on out. Chavo says that we are looking at a family who finally has peace in their life. Chavo says he put an end to Rey Mysterio’s career when he crushed his leg and made him say he quit, before we get the footage of last week’s decision between Chavo and Rey. Chavo says that the Guerrero’s are moving on because of .. and replays the clip. How ironically cute, moving on only to repeat something. He also repeats the clip again, and goes to show it one more time but Benoit’s music hits. Told you he’d be feuding with Benoit. Chavo and Vickie simply leave the ring when Benoit enters. Nice.

Commercials.

Clip of SmackDown in Manilla.

Theodore Long comes on out for some reason. He announces that next week we will see MVP and Mr Kennedy against Kane and The Undertaker.

The Divas make their entrances for the Trick or Treat Battle Royal, and is apparently the Guest Referee for the Divas match.

Fourth Contest: Trick Or Treat Battle Royal: Jillian Hall (Elvis) vs Michelle McCool (Nurse) vs Kristal Marshall (Gold Digger) vs Ashley Massaro (Nymph) vs Layla El (Bunny)
Mc eliminates Hall first, before eliminating Massaro afterwards. Mc goes to eliminate Marshall, but Marshall dropkicks Mc outside and therefore eliminates her. El nails some clotheslines and a nice kick to the gut, but Marshall puts her on the apron and looks to be about to eliminate Marshall but Mizanin pulls her off the apron and eliminates her.
Winner: Kristal Marshall

Boy, it’s going to be a LOOOONNNGGGG time until El is on SmackDown Diva Standards. -Five out of Ten.

Commercials.

Next week: The Brothers Of Destruction vs MVP and Kennedy.

Mizanin and Marshall are still in the ring, and Mizanin says he’s finally gotten his revenge against her and says that Marshall is the only Diva who respects the awesomeness that is Mizanin … and THE BOOGEYMAN comes out! Mizanin pushes Marshall into The Boogeyman and escapes the ring, and the Boogeyman pulls out the worms! Boogeyman eats it and drops them on Marshall’s face!

Recap of Tanka taking out Lashley tonight.

Booker is backstage with Show, and Show is annoyed about what happened on RAW. Booker brings up a good point in saying that on RAW it was every man for himself, and earlier tonight he helped Show fight Batista.

Up next: King Booker and Big Show against John Cena and Batista!

Commercials.

Main Event: King Booker and The Big Show w/ Queen Sharmell vs John Cena and Batista
Booker and Cena start off with a lock up and Booker forces Cena into the corner, but is counted off only to get punches by Cena. Booker off the ropes into a hip toss for a failed pin attempt by Cena. Batista in with elbows to Booker, Booker with an eye poke and chops in the corner. Booker sends Batista into the corner but Batista comes back with a clothesline. Cena back in. Booker off the ropes with a kick to the chest of Cena and a clothesline follows, Cena ducks the hooked kick and takes Booker into the corner and back into a suplex. Cena gets a two count. Cena tags out to Batista, they whip Booker into the ropes and back into stereo elbows before they both clothesline Booker out of the ring.

Commercials.

We’re back and Batista nails Booker with a suplex for a two count. Tag out to Cena. Cena sends Booker into the corner but runs into an elbow, and Booker tags out to Cena. Wow, Show has gained a lot of weight back. Cena with punches but Show throws him into the corner, Cena escapes but gets punched by Booker and Show nails a clothesline. Show with a suplex to Cena, before he tags out to Booker. Booker with kicks to the chest of Cena and he gets the hook kick to Cena, getting only a two count. Booker gets a cheap shot on Batista, before he tags out to Show. Show headbutts Cena down before he steps on Cena, Booker tags back in. Cena off the ropes, ducks the clothesline and clotheslines Booker down! Booker grabs the ankle of Cena before he gets in a shot on Batista, before he throws Cena outside. Show gets in a kick to Cena before he sends him back into the ring for a pin attempt by Booker, which Show breaks up.

Cena and Booker exchange blows before Booker gets in a clothesline. Booker gets in a sleeper hold on Cena but Cena nails a back drop! Booker is about to tag out to Show, but Show leaves ringside! Cena tags out to Batista! Batista with punches to Booker, clotheslines! Batusta sends Booker into the corner for spears and a running powerslam follows! Booker is up to his feet only to get nailed with a spinebuster – Cena in for the Five Knuckle Shuffle! Batista Bomb gets the three count!
Winners: Batista and John Cena

Post match, Batista and Cena celebrate as SmackDown fades out. Basically your hype match between Cena and Booker while trying to salvage what little remains of the totally dead Batista and Booker. Four out of Ten.

So tonight stands at;
Lashley / Tanaka vs Taylor / Regal: 3/10
Gregory Helms vs Matt Hardy: 5/10
Mr Kennedy vs Kane: 4/10
Diva Battle Royal: -5/10
Batista / John Cena vs King Booker / Big Show: 4/10
SmackDown 27/10/06: 11/50

The Inside Pulse
Meh … Just Meh. Until next week ..