Welcome To My Nightmare

Features

It’s all fun and games until Daron has to edit my column. SUCKA!!! Ignore punctuation in titles.

Bear with me on the numbering system, the grid was made with Microsoft Works and I can’t seem to get two characters side by side in a box. I think if you pay close attention to the exact character representing each word and the direction indicated, you should do fine. And damn Microsoft for their crappy knockoff suite. Would it cost THAT much more to put a full Word and Excel program on my PC out of the box? May the Blue Screen Of Doom CTL+ALT+DEL your soul, Bill Gates!

Print it out and have fun!

DOWN
a) My favorite comic. If you don’t know by now, you’ll never understand my columns.
b) My least favorite Wildstorm comic, historically. But if Gail Simone’s writing it”¦
c) Marvel’s “Batman” finally got his own book. It’s weird as hell, but I like it.
d) What’s the over and under on how many consecutive issues Portacio will complete?
e) Hal Jordan’s back. And he bores me to death. At least this OTHER book is fun!
f) Amanda Waller makes every book she’s in more interesting. Whodathunkit?
g) If you know this one, then that’s half the battle.
h) Heavy boots of lead, fills his victims full of dread”¦and now it’s happening in comics too!
i) Warren Ellis is tremendous. So is Stewart Immonen. So why don’t I like this title?
j) I’ll let the Beastie Boys tell it: _________ Intergalactic!
k) I wonder what issue 100 of this will be like? I’m sure Brian K. Vaughn won’t disappoint!
l) He’s the future character of Mystery In Space.
m) I had to cut this title short, it’s probably the longest in comics. Go with ______&_______, two words and put the ampersand in the middle!
n) The feature character of the new Dabel Brothers imprint, based on Laurell K. Hamilton’s novels.
o) This title is definitely NOT the Cap, Thor, Iron Man, Giant Man, Hulk, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch book of your fathers, ‘cause it‘s BETTER.
p) Did I mention Gail Simone rules? This is her masterwork, and the best Batbook around.
q) It’s not Fables, but’s it’s not as bad as Willingham’s Robin, either.
r) Waid + Top Cow = really interesting stuff, when it comes out.
s) The most rebooted Wildstorm book ever. If they don’t get it right this time, forget it.
t) The only character to appear ON more covers than IN the actual issues.
u) I’m old enough to remember Gomer Pyle saying this all the time.
v) The best X-Book on the market. I asked this little girl in front of their building, and that’s what she told me.
w) I “never forget” to get the longest title that ends in “men”.
x) I hope this character gets an ongoing title when the mini is done. Nothing beats hysterical psychotic superheroes.
y) The color of almost all the “cats” in the Marvel universe.
z) If you beat her, she’ll sleep with you. What on earth are comics teaching kids today?
A) And oldie but a goodie, and a nice short tile to boot.
E) The only book more beloved for it’s letter column than the actual content. If that doesn’t give it away, try this: “monkey sex”.
N) Almost missed this one. I don’t care much for his new costume. What animal only has 7 legs?

ACROSS
1) The best collection of B and C grade characters since Thunderbolts.
2) If it’s Mike Perkins, its got to be good. God save the Queen!
3) I fight them, but they always win.
4) The short version of the title created and starring Rosario Dawson.
5) The Best X-Book in the multiverse. Except for Nocturne. L-A-M-E!
6) Johnny Cash wrote a song about him. And a guy named Tex is famous for drawing him.
7) It’s DC’s Thunderbolts! Villains doing the right thing! Shame it’s a mini”¦
8) It’s the short name of the group Zatanna was in, but spelled the way Zatanna would say it.
9) The best lawyer comic ever. Because really, how often did Murdoch attend court?
0) Brian K. Vaughn’s fun take on Michael Chabon’s under appreciated character.
B) Only in Marvel can homeless kids be entertaining.
C) Great Metallica song, silly excuse for a comic about giant robots that kill mutants.
D) I couldn’t fit this super soldie’s full name anywhere, so I used what his friends all call him.
F) There’s 3 of these titles with different adjectives. Take your pick.
G) I’ll never be able to read “The Three Little Pigs” in the same way again.
H) An interesting and in my opinion successful experiment in comic marketing. Something to enjoy, every week.
I) Her name sounds like she won a beauty contest. And Cho and De La Torre draw her like she did.
J) I got one word for ya: “Bub.”
K) One of Jack Kirby’s best creations, getting some great John Romita Jr. love these days.
L) Civil Wa’s best tie in, starring, of all things, the Press.
M) It’s not quite SHIELD, heck, it’s not quite like anything. But it fills in some quirky gaps in the Marvel Mythos. And it’s got a talking gorilla, which everyone seems to like for some reason.

Welcome to my Nightmare.