That Bootleg Guy's MLB Free Agents Relocation Program (Part 5 of 5)

And, so it ends”¦

Again, thanks to everyone for your interest in this week-long feature. Sorry this last part is posting late, but here in Southern California there’s a little thing we call “a massive re-write”. I wrote about 99% of this feature during the World Series. While the previous four parts contained a few errors (players whose options were picked up, players listed at wrong positions) this final part included about eight guys who either weren’t free agents anymore or never were to begin with. D’oh.

Oh, and the original part five didn’t include Aramis Ramirez and Roger Clemens.

Anyways, thanks again for reading. If there’s a player that I missed, let’s just continue the discussion on the comments thread or in our reader’s forum. Hell, I might even be persuaded to bust out a 10-player addendum for all those middle relievers and utility guys that got overlooked.

One last thing”¦sources for this feature included: Baseball Reference.com and the phenomenal Baseball Prospectus. Also, a quick mention of appreciation to fellow staffers Thomas Daniels, Eugene Tierney and Michaelangelo McCullar for their comments and (humble pause) corrections.

F*ckin’ know-it-alls.

Aramis Ramirez – 3B: Our friends over at the Fire Joe Morgan website have a terrific take on the journalistic idiocy out of Chicago that Ramirez somehow isn’t a valuable player. From 2003-05, his OBP/SLG was .361/.569. Last season, he was almost right in line with those numbers and he’s just 28 years old, to boot. Cubs fans are quick to turn on their own and eat their young, but don’t blame Ramirez for the fact that manager Dusty Baker officially stopped giving a damn after Memorial Day. Ramirez is one of those guys that could break the bank if a non-entity like Baltimore was interested. I think he stays in the NL and ends up on the West Coast. Hope he likes fish tacos. (Prediction: Signs with San Diego Padres, 5 years/$75M)

Adam Kennedy – 2B: The 2002 postseason hero for the Halos is being unceremoniously shown the door. Howie Kendrick will be starting in Anaheim next year, while the flawed Kennedy will have to hope that potential suitors look past his platoon splits and defensive limitations. And, would you look at that? I made it the entire way through without making the obvious and obnoxious “Adam Kennedy”¦Kennedy!” jokes. Well, not counting that one. (Prediction: Signs with Tampa Bay Devil Rays, 2 years/$5M)

Kenny Lofton – CF: He’s played with eight different teams in the last five years and put up decent-to-spectacular numbers just about everywhere along the way. So, how come this guy always seems to be available? Here’s a quick rule of thumb: cranky old Black players are bad for team chemistry”¦cranky old white players are gamers. Seriously”¦Google “Jeff Kent” and “gamer” and tell me how many hits you get. G’head, I’ll wait. (Prediction: Signs with San Francisco Giants, 1 year/$4M)

Julio Lugo – 2B/SS: He was having quite the contract year until the Rays went and traded him to Los Angeles at the deadline. He bitched about his role in LA and privately confided to reporters that he couldn’t wait to get out of town and hit the free agent market. The fact that I read this in the papers should be a reminder that you can’t privately confide in the media. If he kept it up in Tampa, he’d have been overpaid next year. His pratfall with the Dodgers probably brings his 2007 price tag in line with his talent. (Prediction: Signs with Toronto Blue Jays, 2 years/$8M)

Orlando Hernandez – RHP: A torn calf muscle ended El Duque’s season right before the playoffs. It’s too bad because Hernandez, 58, put together 20 (mostly) decent starts for the Mets in 2006 (9 wins, 112K’s in 116 innings, 4.09 ERA). A strong postseason could’ve led to some multi-year security, but that seems less likely now. The simple truth is that older players not only take longer to recover from injuries like these, but they’re more susceptible to recurrence. If the Mets keep him, it won’t be for more than a year. If Orlando chases the money, he’ll probably be able to get more elsewhere. (Prediction: Re-signs with New York Mets, 1 year/$3.5M)

Jose Valentin – 2B: It’s time for another round of “full disclosure”. For several (and I do mean several) years, I had a mustache that was in the same pencil-thin, Victor Conte style as Jose Valentin. The Mets’ 2B came off the scrap heap to post a .490 SLG and an insane 5.11 range factor (the league average was 4.39 at 2B) in 2006. On one hand, I can’t see New York cutting him loose when he performed so damn well. On the other hand, what’s the likelihood that Valentin, whose career numbers are nowhere near his ’06 act, will give ’em an encore? I think he comes back to Shea, but only if it’s on the Mets’ terms. (Prediction: Re-signs with New York Mets, 1 year/$2.5M)

Steve Trachsel – RHP: I’m convinced that hell is sitting in the bleachers, in August, while Trachsel’s on the mound during a day game. Oh, and Chris Berman is calling the action for those of us at home. For all the time he takes out there, you’d think that he’d be focusing on improving that terrible 1-to-1 strikeout-to-walk ratio. I’ve never gotten the love people have for this guy who, basically, has been a league average pitcher his entire career. Guys like him can get the run support to win 15 in the regular season, but the Brewers, Rockies and Cubs are nowhere to be found in October. (Prediction: Signs with Cincinnati Reds, 1 year/$3.5M)

Ron Belliard – 2B: I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for Ron-Ron, because back when I was Little League-age, I was also a morbidly obese second baseman. He was pretty awful, offensively, in St. Louis save for a hot week during the NLDS. Still, there’s a ton of buzz on him, with the Indians, of all teams, reportedly making a play to bring him back. Boston and Toronto have also been mentioned as possible destinations, which really screws me up, since I’ve earlier “fixed” Boston’s potential hole at 2B and ditto for the Jays. Well, guess that leaves”¦ (Prediction: Signs with Cleveland Indians, 2 years/$9M)

Ray Durham – 2B: Over the course of his four-year contract with the Giants, Ray Durham has been one of the most consistent players in the game. The rough approximations are .285/.360/.475. He’ll be 35 next season and no one in their right mind would hand him another four year deal. It’s hard to see him back with the Giants who really need to get younger and aren’t likely to contend in 2007 with the hungrier Dodgers and Diamondbacks fighting for first place. Well, at the risk of incurring the wrath of the Cards’ biggest fan”¦ (Prediction: Signs with St. Louis Cardinals, 2 years/$12M)

Roger Clemens – RHP: Before he became the greatest pitcher of this era, Roger Clemens was absolutely owned for several seasons by Oakland’s Dave Stewart. And, since I’m already off on a tangent: Dave Stewart won 20 games in four straight years (1987-1990) along with MVP awards in the 1989 World Series and 1990 and 1993 ALCS. OK, back to Roger. (Prediction: Retires)