The SmackDown Report

Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

Yeah, no longer is it the early nor the late. Every other week when I go to post this, the site is down so it has to be late anyways. Besides, I just can’t be bothered typing those brackets and extra letters anymore. Sigh.

Tonight: Undertaker and Kane against Mr Kennedy and MVP, but Rey Mysterio retires to start off the show tonight. Mysterio makes his way out with the aid of a crutch. Mysterio gets on the microphone and shows us what happened in the I Quit Match between he and Chavo Guerrero. Mysterio says that he now needs to have surgery on his left knee but wanted to come out and speak to the fans first, from the bottom of his heart. He admits that he quit because of the pain in his knee but with the hope of coming back and fighting Chavo again. He did not quit on the fans because the fans have never quit on him. He thanks them for helping him win the Royal Rumble, helping him win the World Heavy Weight Championship, and when he comes back from surgery he and the fans are going to climb to the top of the mountain once more. Enter the Guerreros with a chair. Chavo says he decided to come out and ask him for a favor; he wants Mysterio to say it again because the words are like music to his ears. Mysterio won’t so Chavo asks if he will autograph the chair for him, the same one he used in the I Quit match. Chavo brags about his Mysterio’s lost and become a cripple. Mysterio won’t autograph it so Chavo autographs it for Mysterio and writes “I Quit” on it. Cute. Mysterio swings the crutch at Chavo but Chavo kicks the knee and attacks it with the steel chair. Vickie goes to hit his knee with the chair as well, but Chris Benoit makes the save. The Guerreros make their escape. I’m liking this feud.


Opening Contest: Brian Kendrick and Paul London w/ Ashley Massaro vs K.C. James and Idol Stevens w/ Michelle McCool
I still can’t remember which one is which between James and Stevens without needing to quickly look one of them up on Google. Stevens and London start. Stevens attacks London from behind and gets a scoop slam before he tags out to James. James in with a big right hand and sends London into the ropes, London flips the shoulder body toss and tags out to Kendrick. London and Kendrick with their usual quick stuff before they get stereo vaulting body presses to James and Stevens on the outside. Crossbody to James gets Kendrick a two count. Stevens attacks Kendrick from behind and James comes into a punch. Stevens back in. Stevens with a snapmare with a big knee to the middle of the back; Stevens gets a two count before he gets a rear naked choke hold on Kendrick. Stevens with a backbreaker on Kendrick for another two. James in and Steven slingshots Kendrick into a punch by James. James sends Kendrick into the ropes and back into a backbreaker for another two count. Stevens back in and quickly puts Kendrick in a facelock; Kendrick flips Stevens over and tags out to London, London attacks Stevens but the referee didn’t see it. Kendrick flips over a double team back body drop attempt and tags out to London! London sends James out of the ring and gets Stevens with a hurricanrana for two, almost a three count. London runs chest first into the turnbuckles but Stevens comes off the ropes into a dropkick. Kendrick and James take it outside before McCool trips London and Stevens gets a very cool high backbreaker; but the pin attempt is broken by Kendrick! Sliced bread number two by Kendrick and London with the step up shooting star on Stevens for the victory!
Winners: Brian Kendrick and Paul London

Fun match with a few good spots; these four are beginning to work rather well together. Post match, by the way, we continue our Kendrick and Massaro cute couple relationship .. Awwww .. Five out of Ten. I am loving the Kendrick and Massaro angle, simply because they’re such a cute couple .. well, some people would agree with me at least.

Backstage, Long warns Queen Sharmell and King Booker about Cyber Sunday and says he’s decided to give them their own personal locker room tonight and that someone will be protecting them tonight too.


Next week: Batista vs Finlay!

Long is with Booker and Sharmell saying it’s his job to make sure Booker gets to Cyber Sunday .. and that Batista is his protector! Booker says Batista isn’t noble and that he WILL make it to Cyber Sunday and become Champion of Champions, and that he’s done something that neither Cena nor Show have done – defeat Batista – and that he will always be better than Batista. Batista pins Booker into the wall and says that they both know the reason Booker defeated him, Finlay, but that tonight nobody is getting to Booker without going through Batista.

Mr Kennedy and MVP are backstage. Kennedy is taking the threat known as the Brothers Of Destruction seriously and that MVP needs to listen to him. Kennedy makes MVP look really weak here promo wise .. MVP is such a disappointment that it’s almost embarrassing that I loved the gimmick.

Up next: Kane and Undertaker vs Mr Kennedy and MVP


Mr Kennedy makes his entrance; it would have been absolutely perfect had MVP interrupted Kennedy’s microphone schtick.

Second Contest: Mr Kennedy and MVP vs Kane and The Undertaker
Kennedy starts off with Kane, but MVP quickly tags out to MVP. Nice. Circling to start, surprisingly, and MVP gets kicks to the leg but gets taken down with ease by Kane. Kane sends MVP into the ropes and back into a toss, before he chokes MVP in the corner. Kane runs into an elbow by MVP, who tags out to Kennedy. Kennedy punches away at Kane but Kane eventually regains the upperhand with a big boot and clothesline. Kennedy tags out to MVP. MVP lures Taker into the corner and gets the best right hand he can, but Taker no sells and MVP tags out to Kennedy. Kennedy lures Taker into the corner too and stays on Taker, with MVP even getting some shot in while the referee is distracted. Taker eventually fights them both off and takes MVP into the ring; MVP and Kennedy into the ropes and back into stereo big boots before Taker and Kane clothesline them both out of the ring! Nick Patrick begins the ten count and Kennedy and MVP begin leaving ringside before they get counted out!
Winners: Kane and The Undertaker

Theodore Long comes out and says that this is a huge match and tells them to go back into the ring, because he’s restarting the match with no count outs!


Kennedy and MVP hype each other up and run into the ring, but Kennedy stays outside! Taker big boots Taker down and Kane restarts the match with MVP. Scoop slam to MVP before Kane tags out. Taker in with scoop slams before he tags back out to Kane. Kane in with another scoop slam and another, followed by a running powerslam with the pinfall broken by Kennedy. Kane sends MVP into the ropes and MVP kicks Kane in the chest only to get clotheslined down. Taker back in. Taker sends MVP into the corner for an elbow and swinging right hand before he works the arm of MVP and goes up for Old School and nails it! Tag back out to Kane. Kane sends MVP into the corner and back into a sideslam, before he comes off the top rope with a flying clothesline for another pin attempt which is again broken by Kennedy, but Taker gives chase to Kennedy! Kane sets MVP up for a chokeslam but Kennedy slides back into the ring and hits Kane with a low blow for the disqualification!
Winners: Kane and The Undertaker

Theodore Long comes back out again and restarts the match with no count outs and no disqualifcations. Whatever happened to a victory being a victory?

Taker and Kane attack MVP and Kennedy from behind. Kane slams MVP into the set while Taker sends Kennedy into the steel steps at ringside. Kane drops MVP throat first onto the barricade, while Taker has fun throwing Kennedy around the ring announcer’s area. Kane joins Taker in that general area and slams MVP onto the announcer’s table before Taker snake eyes Kennedy onto the announcer’s table. Back in the ring, Kane throws MVP into the corner and nails MVP then Kennedy with clotheslines, which Taker repeats. And then Kane repeats. Big boot to Kennedy by Taker. Kane scoop slams MVP down and runs to the ropes but Kennedy pulls the top rope down, and then follows up with a double axe handle off the ring apron to Kane. MVP gets some offence in on Kane and tags out to Kennedy. Kennedy clubs away at Kane and sends Kane into the corner with a dropkick. Tag out to MVP. MVP in with shots to Kane but comes off the ropes into a powerslam by Kane. Kane tags out to Taker, and Kennedy is in to punches by Taker. Taker sends Kennedy into the ropes and back into a sideslam. Taker with a clothesline in the corner to Kennedy before the snake eyes follows, Taker runs at the ropes but Kane comes in and big boots Kennedy! Taker and Kane show personality, which makes this a match of the year candidate already. Leg drop gets Taker a failed pinfall attempt, broken by Taker, but MVP walks into Kane who knocks him down. Kennedy gets a low blow to Taker and follows with a swinging necbreaker. Kane sets MVP and Kennedy up for a double chokeslam but they turn it into a double DDT for a two count. Taker and Kane sit up! They send their rival into the ropes and back into stereo chokeslams! Taker thumb cuts his throat and nails Kennedy with a tombstone for the three count!
Winners: Kane and The Undertaker

The first two portions of the match were pretty damned crap, but the third part was fun and half of what the match should have been. I’m upping the rating just because of when Kane did the unexpected Big Boot. Three out of Ten.

Backstage, Batista asks if Booker and Sharmell are alright. Booker whines and goes to get a drink but Batista suggests he doesn’t leave, having heard that some guys from RAW and ECW may be here. Booker sits back down with Sharmell.

Up next: Gregory Helms vs Jimmy Wang Yang!


Next week we’ve still got: Batista vs Finlay!

Third Contest: Gregory Helms vs Jimmy Wang Yang w/ Amy Zidian
Yang gets a quick arm drag to start. Lock up and Helms gets a headlock, Yang sends him into the ropes and back into a shoulder block. Helms off the ropes, jumps over Yang, Yang ducks a clothesline, Yang gets a headscissors to Helms and dropkicks him out of the ring. Vaulting body press by Yang connects. Back in the ring, Yang gets a one count. Chop by Yang but Helms drops Yang throat first onto the top rope and clotheslines him down. Helms chokes Yang on the middle rope temporarily before he follows up with a suplex. Helms gets a one count before he locks on a sleeper hold, which Yang turns into a jawbreaker. Yang back up with a chop to Helms and sends Helms into the corner but runs right into an elbow, and Helms walks right into an elbow by Yang as well! Clotheslines by Yang, kick to the knee and DDT gets Yang a two count. Yang lands on his feet after a german suplex attempt and gets a heel kick to Helms for a pin attempt. Yang gets a moonsault to Helms but Sylvan distracts the referee! Yang knocks Sylvan off of the apron and Helms gets a school boy, pulling the tights, gets the three count!
Winner: Gregory Helms

Sylvan attacks Yang post match, but Matt Hardy runs down for the save. Give these two twenty minutes at Armageddon; seriously, dude, seriously .. dude. Five out of Ten.

Batista is looking after Sharmell and Booker, Sharmell is going to leave .. to powder her nose but she doesn’t want Batista to hear her “powder her nose”, but she decides against it and simply decides to cross her legs. Nice little segment.


Fourth Contest: Mixed Tag Rules: The Miz and Kristal Marshall vs Vito and Layla
El and Marshall start; lock up and El gets in a scoop slam and clotheslines follow. Marshall tags out to Miz, so El tags out to Vito. Circling while Vito shows his under garments to Miz. Miz with the usual shots against Vito and sends him into the ropes, Vito ducks a clothesline and comes back with one of his own. Vito with a shoulder body toss and goes for the Panty Stain early on, but tags out to Marshall. Vito goes for the Panty Stain on her and takes her into the corner, where El attacks from behind and tags herself in. El and gets sent into the corner and comes back into a school boy by Marshall for the victory!
Winners: Kristal Marshall and The Miz

The usual stuff from the divas in training, Vito and Mizanin pretty much did squat too, but Layla El looks like Marshall did this time last year so there’s hope for her yet. Zero out of Ten. While Marshall and Mizanin are celebrating, The Boogeyman’s music hits! Marshall and Miz escape the ring but El and Vito send them back in! Miz escapes the ring but the Boogeyman catches Marshall. Marshall over sells it like a champ and, frankly, I’m becoming a fan of her’s just with this angle. Boogeyman spits the worms in her face and she slowly escapes the ring. Marshall continues to over sell it in great fashion.

Batista segment.


Fifth Contest: Jamie Noble vs Bobby Lashley
Tatanka comes out to watch, wearing new face paint and sporting a nice new mullet. Lashley with a throw away slam to start before he sends Noble into the corners and then gets a overhead belly to belly. Noble gets an eye poke and elbows but Lashley takes him into the corner for spears. Lashley runs into a high knee by Noble, who goes up top and comes off with a crossbody but Lashley rolls through and nails the running powerslam for the victory.
Winner: Bobby Lashley

Tatanka gets on the microphone and says he’s sure he wants an explanation for last week, but Tatanka doesn’t owe him nothing. It’s him and his people that are owed an explanation. He’s called upon the spirits of his fathers who have summoned a vengeful warrior inside of him; and if Lashley or anyone wants to stand in front of him, then he will be standing in front of a nation of warriors .. Okay, this has taken an odd twist, but if Tatanka can suddenly have good matches then I suppose almost anything is possible. -Two out of Ten.


Batista is escorting the King and Queen to their limo; from behind the squadron of midcarders attacks! Booker’s limo takes off, and I think it took Trevor Murdoch with it. Batista says that the title will be his soon, and says that he’s got something personal to take care of – why wait til next week when he can do it now?


Batista comes out to the ring and demands that Finlay come out, challenging him to a fight. Finlay comes out and walks halfway down the aisle before he makes his way backstage. Batista gives chase only for Finlay to attack Batista first! The two fight in the aisle with referees trying to keep the two seperated. Batista eventually looks to have the upperhand and gets taken backstage by officials, with Finlay being held back as well as SmackDown fades out.

London and Kendrick vs James and Stevens: 5/10
Taker and Kane vs MVP and Kennedy: 3/10
Gregory Helms vs Jimmy Wang Yang: 5/10
The Miz and Kristal Marshall vs Vito and Layla El: 0/10
Bobby Lashley vs Jamie Noble: -2/10
SmackDown 03/11/06: 11/50

This week’s episode is just there. That’s really all I can say about it. It was there, it did it’s thing, it served it’s purpose and it’s over. If you want a more precise verdict then ‘Meh’ and ‘Bleh’ may suffice more?

The Inside Pulse
This week’s episode is just there. That’s really all I can say about it. It was there, it did it’s thing, it served it’s purpose and it’s over. If you want a more precise verdict then ‘Meh’ and ‘Bleh’ may suffice more?