UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine – DVD Review

Film, Reviews


Available at Amazon.com

Directed by
David Mitchell

Writers
Tyler Levine
Tim McGregor

Cast
Mak Fyfe ………. Waylon (as Mac Fyfe)
Steve Arbuckle ………. Buddy
Victoria Nestorowicz ………. Zoe Snow
Erin Mackinnon ………. Carrie
Simon Northwood ………. Sgt. Dodds
Deanna Dezmari ………. Lena
John Evans ………. Dr. Stroheim
Michael Madsen ………. The Major

DVD Release Date: November 21, 2006
Running Time: 85 minutes
Not Rated (Strong Language, Gore, Violence)

The Movie

I think it’s safe to say the UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine will be the finest film I see this year made in Hamilton, Ontario and starring Machael Madsen.

Well, it will definitely in the top ten list of movies made this year in Hamilton, Ontario starring Michael Madsen.

UKM is a fairly pointless little movie from the great white north, starring likeable non-actor Michael Madsen as an army Major overseeing a secret super-soldier project. Things go a little haywire right away, as war hero Sgt. Dodds (animator/stuntman Simon Northwood) is turned into the ULTIMATE KILLING MACHINE.

Or maybe he is the penultimate killing machine, as they make some more ultimate killing machines later on in the flick.

At any rate, being an ultimate killing machine basically consists of squishing heads, decapitating folk, and ripping the occasional face off, all while staggering around like WWE’s Kane. Thankfully, the scientists are able to lock up the monster in a minimum security janitor’s closet, before recruiting some 4F army recruits on which to experiment. Waylon, Buddy, Zoe, and Carrie are all injected with super-soldier serum, and instead of becoming Captain America, most just get slightly more aggressive and horny. The four try out an escape plan, but end up freeing Dodds in the process.

UKM is straightforward, unoriginal, mostly inoffensive film which offers no surprises. It’s just there, meandering around for 85 minutes, going no place in particular. It’s mega-low budget, with unconvincing effects. It’s the sort of flick that just has the screen go white, and plays explosion noises, because they can’t actually afford pyrotechnics. The majority of the actors in this film subscribe to the “just state the line” school of acting. Madsen himself (in a Joe Don Baker-ish role) seems less like he is acting and more like he is reading directions on how to assemble a spice rack. He makes David Duchovony look like John Lithgow.

If you are the sort of person who enjoys Sci-fi channel original movies, UKM might be for you. Otherwise, I’d only recommend watching this flick with Tom Servo, or a reasonable facsimile.

Preferably, while drunk.

The DVD

UKM has such wide-ranging features as Scene Selection, Three trailers for other low budget movies, and Play Movie. Other than that you get nothing. No subtitles and only the one audio track.

You get nothing. The box contains only the DVD, no chapter list, not even an advertisement. The writing on the back of the box isn’t even an accurate description of the film.

The DVD Lounge’s Ratings for UKM
CATEGORY
RATING
(OUT OF 10)
THE MOVIE

3
THE VIDEO

4
THE AUDIO

4
THE EXTRAS

1
REPLAY VALUE

1
OVERALL
2
(NOT AN AVERAGE)