Brand vs. Brand vs. Brand vs. Brand”¦
Vince McMahon wants wrestling fans to view his three shows as separate “brands”. In other words, RAW, SmackDown! and ECW are independent entities under the WWE’s corporate banner. I’ll bite for the sake of this column, but if you look at things that way, then there are four major pro wrestling promotions to consider, including TNA.
TODAY’S ISSUE: Head To Head To Head To Head
Taking a cursory look at the rosters, I’ll compare the four banners under which weekly television shows are produced to determine which one I consider the strongest.
Heavyweight Champion
1. SmackDown!: King Booker. A solid in-ring worker, great on the stick (especially since being crowned emperor of the SmackDown! Kingdom and the Champion of Champions) and fun to watch. I’m very pleased he’s getting this much respect at what might become the twilight of his career.
2. TNA: Sting. A living legend in the business, great torchbearer for any company, and a welcome change from Jeff Jarrett’s stranglehold on TNA. Sting still seems to have gas in the tank, and after several weeks off to “find himself” before Bound For Glory, he has lost a few pounds and adjusted his appearance for his new run with the 10 pounds of gold.
3. RAW: John Cena. I was growing weary of Cena a while back, but I must admit he’s done well to recover from the lashing he received from both the WrestleMania crowd in Chicago and the Hammerstein Ballroom Gang at One Night Stand. Although he’s not the next Rock or Austin like Vince wants him to be, he’s working hard and has endured the rough spots.
4. ECW: The Big Show. Slow, fat and lazy, Paul Wight truly seems to be going through the motions and collecting his paycheck. This move to ECW and reign as their champ has not invigorated him as some thought it might. Plus, news of his declining health has recently hit the streets, and I surmise that if he doesn’t make it to the WM23 match with Hogan, he won’t have one last great moment in his career.
SmackDown! takes this category. Sting simply hasn’t done anything yet with this title run to propel him past the red-hot King Booker.
Heavyweight Contenders
1. TNA: Christian Cage, Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Abyss, Robert Roode, and soon, a recently turned babyface Jeff Jarrett.
2. SmackDown!: Batista, The Undertaker, Bobby Lashley, and Finlay.
3. ECW: RVD, CM Punk, Sabu, and Test.
4. RAW: Uh”¦ Kevin Federline? There’s a lot of talent on the roster, but most of them are suddenly tied up in the tag division (HHH and HBK, Edge and Orton, and Ric Flair).
TNA has more potential feuds and action in the heavyweight championship hunt right now, although SmackDown! runs a close second. WWE could easily elevate Kennedy or Chavo for some new blood at the top of the card, especially if Chavo could defeat Benoit for the US strap at Survivor Series.
Tag Team Scene
1. RAW: Flair and Piper, DX, Rated RKO, Cryme Tyme, The Highlanders, The Spirit Squad (for a little while longer, I suppose), Haas and Viscera, and Cade and Murdoch.
2. TNA: LAX, America’s Most Wanted, The Naturals, Team 3-D, and The James Gang. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels are still sort of acting like a tag team as well, so I guess I’ll count them.
3. SmackDown!: The Hooligans, and KC James and Idol Stevens.
4. ECW: Mike Knox and Test. (NOTE: I consider Terkay and Burke more of a stable than a tag team since I see them working more singles matches. The same goes for Khali and Daviari.)
RAW has more teams, but they have done so little with most of them, I was tempted to give this category to TNA. DX’s reign of terror has damaged the division, but based on the sheer star power of the RAW tag team ranks, I placed them in the #1 spot. Regal and Taylor would be on the SmackDown! list if not for Squire David’s recent injury. The Gymini are on the official roster but haven’t been seen on television in months.
Secondary Champs
1. SmackDown!: United States Champion Chris Benoit.
2. RAW: Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro.
3. TNA: N/A – no secondary title.
3. ECW: N/A – no secondary title.
You can’t beat Benoit. If the secondary belt is where the in-ring action reigns supreme, Benoit’s the absolute best choice for the US title. Nitro’s fun, but needs good workers as opponents to build an entertaining match. I consider the X Division championship a light heavyweight/cruiserweight belt and not a secondary title. That being said, if it WERE a secondary championship, you couldn’t ask for more than AJ Styles as champ.
Cruiserweights
1. TNA: X Division Champ AJ Styles, The X Division Gang (Sabin, Dutt, Lethal), Senshi, Petey Williams, Eric Young, Brother Runt and Johnny Devine.
2. SmackDown!: Cruiserweight Champ Gregory Helms, Matt Hardy (sort of), and Jimmy Wang Yang. Rey Mysterio meets the weight criteria, but has been considered a heavyweight for years, and I suppose “The Miz” is also a cruiser, but who cares?
3. ECW: CM Punk and Little Guido.
4. RAW: N/A, although Jeff Hardy, Carlito, and Super Crazy all fit the mold of a light heavyweight.
No wonder Helms hasn’t defended his title in months. There are NO cruiserweight contenders on the SD roster! CM Punk should feud over the CW belt with Helms for a while, just for fun. It’s not a knock on RAW that I didn’t rank their cruisers, it’s just that they don’t really use that weight class on Monday nights. Regardless of the tagline “It’s not about weight limits, it’s about NO limits”, TNA’s X Division is 99% cruiserweight, and is the division to watch if you like high-flying, daredevil action.
Supporting Cast
1. TNA: Raven, The Paparazzi, Killings and Hoyt, Christopher Daniels, Rhino, and Bentley and Kazarian,
2. RAW: Umaga, Chris Masters, Shelton Benjamin, Val Venis, and Eugene.
3. ECW: Hardcore Holly, Sandman, Matt Striker, Tommy Dreamer, Kevin Thorn, and Balls Mahoney. Honorable Mention: Shannon Moore, Stevie Richards, and Rene Dupree.
4. SmackDown!: Kane, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Tatanka, The Boogeyman, and Vito.
TNA has developed characters throughout their midcard. RAW’s undercard would be richer at the moment if all their guys weren’t currently in tag teams, as I mentioned. ECW’s midcard looks promising, as long as they continue to build feuds and personalities for each wrestler. When SmackDown! shows anything that doesn’t feature King Booker (and/or his allies and enemies), The Hooliganz, or Hardy versus Helms, it’s usually bad.
Women/Divas
1. RAW: Lita, Mickey James, Victoria, Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle, Melina, and Maria. Honorable Mention: Lillian Garcia.
2. SmackDown!: Ashley Massaro, Jillian Hall, Kristal Marshall, Layla El, Queen Sharmell, and Amy Zidian.
3. TNA: Gail Kim, Christy Hemme, Jackie Gayda (maternity leave), and Traci Brooks. Honorable Mention: So Cal Val, I guess.
4. ECW: Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly, Trinity, Ariel, and Rebecca.
RAW has the most legitimate female wrestlers, so they win. That’s the ONLY reason, I swear! Plus, I feel dirty when 19-year old Kelly Kelly smiles and tries to act sexy. Moving on”¦
Just to make it interesting, I scored each category. I assigned 4 points for first place, 3 points for second place, et cetera. When a category was N/A, I didn’t award any points at all to that brand.
Before writing this column, I would have told you that TNA’s iMPACT! is the best wrestling show on television right now (no surprise to my readers), and that I usually enjoy RAW as well. I’d go on to say that SmackDown! can be a chore to watch at times, with some good moments sprinkled in, and that ECW is almost exclusively a waste of 60 minutes each week. But then I tallied the results, and surprised myself.
ECW did score the lowest in my little breakdown, securing only 9 points, while RAW earned a respectable 17 points. But here’s the surprise: SmackDown! actually tied TNA with 20 points apiece. I was quite amazed with the outcome, so I performed the obligatory recount. SmackDown! and TNA are mathematically (based on this little litmus test) my favorite brands today.
I didn’t realize how much of a SmackDown! fan I’d become lately. All I can say is that writing this column helped me see SmackDown! a bit differently now that I’ve analyzed it. I still can’t stand Michael Cole on commentary, and that often affects my enjoyment of the show. It’s a good thing JBL’s still around.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
p.s. — “He who made kittens put snakes in the grass”¦” – Jethro Tull, Bungle in the Jungle
