It’s a good thing Emmitt’s got those big, ripped guns that can lift a trophy. He’s done it before for Super Bowls and now for the winner of Dancing with the Stars. He and partner Cheryl Burke proved that it’s better to have Troy Aikman, Jerry Jones and Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders on your side rather than”¦ than Eva Longoria, Ryan Seacrest, and that girl from the movie that was worse than “Striptease””¦ what was it called?…. “Showgirls””¦yeah, her.
And how ‘bout that Cheryl Burke? She’s incredible, bringing both Nick Lachey and Emmitt into the championship ring with her cute sassy, flirty haircut. My prediction is that the “Cheryl Burke” will be the hottest new haircut this season. I mean we haven’t had one since the Rachel and before that was the Farah and then the Dorothy Hamill. We’re due for another celebrity inspired coiffe. Supercuts all over the country get ready!
This season’s ratings were an unexpected surprise for ABC. And it’s no wonder. It had more drama than “Dynasty” with Sara Evans’s divorce & Shanna Moakle’s catfight with Paris Hilton and alleged romances with Willa & Maxim and Mario & Karina. It had the court jester stylings of Tucker Carlson, Jerry moved the audience to tears with his waltz, and nudity (at least on the east coast) from Monica’s wardrobe malfunction. All underlined with sexy, sultry dances and Eva Longoria in the audience each week. How can you go up against THAT? You don’t. You just can’t. Unless you’re Celebrity Fit Club or a really, really good episode of American Bandstand.
So, Emmitt and Mario both danced the Samba to Stevie Wonde’s “Sir Duke”. Both did well, but Emmitt loses points for the jolly green giant shoes. Advantage Mario. Then they danced their favorite dance of the season. Mario’s was the paso doble and Emmitt’s was the mambo. I thought that was a pretty close call. Mario loses points for the scorpion on the back of his jacket. I give it to Emmitt. Then their final dance was the freestyle where Mario wore ghetto garb while Karina was wearing some “Chicago” inspired costume. Huh? Dancing to “Joy and Pain”, they did a tribute to Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo complete with poppin’ and lockin’ and the robot. Mario even spun on his back without cardboard! Emmitt and Cheryl pulled moves directly from the MC Hammer (pre-bankruptcy) video and danced to “U Can’t Touch This”. This one I thought hands down went to Mario. And that poor band tried to perform 2 old school hip hop songs. Poor ballroom band.
Why did Emmitt win? Beause he made dancing look masculine. Like any Tom, Dick or Harry (though not Hamlin) could do it. He proved that you don’t have to look like you subscribe to “Legwarmers Magazine” or “Tappin’ to the Oldies Monthly” to make dancing fun and entertaining. And that Cheryl must be one damn good dance partner.
Emmitt was the underdog. And one thing I know is that America love to root for the underdog. Taylor Hicks, the 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team, Seabiscuit, Team Aniston, the gopher in “Caddyshack”. Human nature just draws us to the small fry and cheers them on to rise to the top. And when we cheer, we vote and when we vote. Emmitt wins.
