It’s Raw and yet again, Raw is eating into my Wii time. Survivor Series was last night. Fallout is tonight. Keep it here.
The new opening is growing on me. Then again, so is cancer. We are liveish from Pittsburgh. Tonight for the world tag titles its Team RKO against Matt and Jeff Hardy! Ric Flair is out in the center of the ring. He was victorious last night at Survivor Series, but he had the hell beaten out of him after he won (by submission, sole survivor Flair). Because of the beat down, Flair has called out the entire Spirit Squad in a match tonight against a team Flair has assembled. Spirit Squad does a shitty cheer, and comes down to the ring. They’re about to jump him when….. DX’s Music Hits!
HBK does a few praise bows when he pops in and Trips gives Flair a huge. HBK also gives Flair a hug. DX is breaking up the Spirit Squad tonight apparently. We’re about to get ready to suck it, but the Spirit Squad attacks first. DX and Shawn clears the ring. Shawn even gets a microphone shot on someone!
Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow: X-olution vs the Spirit Squad
Mikey gets the Cinnamon Life beaten out of him by Trips, Flair, HBK, and then Flair again. Flair looks like he’s going to be the face in peril, but DX makes the save! They dump everyone. Shawn flips over the top and takes everyone out. The faces are in the ring and they proceed to strut it out! Commercials.
We’re back and (surprisingly) Shawn is the face in peril. Mikey tries for a few pins on Shawn, but can’t keep them down. Kenny gets the tag and proceeds to beat on Michaels. Michaels tries to take out the Squad in the corner, but the numbers catch up to him. Kenny gets a tag and tries to electric chair one of the other Spirit Squad members on to Shawn off the top. Shawn dodges and tags in Triple H. HHHs clears house. Tag to Flair and he goes for the Figure Four. Two Spirit Squad members hop in, Flair chops them down. Superkick/Pedigree takes those two down. Flair tries for the Figure Four again. Both other SS members hit the ring. Triple Figure Four! It’s over.
Winners: Three X-man
Hardy home videoes are shown. They go for the tag belts tonight!
During the break, Triple H chased off the Spirit Squad with his sledgehammer. In the back, DX has locked the Spirit Squad in a production box. They put a “Destination: OVW” sticker on the box. They’ve got an “OPS” guy (the other guys charge an arm and a leg). It absolutely, postively has to be there by Christmas… Shawn signs for it as a Mr. McMahon.
This Sunday the Hardy’s have issued an open challenge at ECW December to Dismember. Nitro has an answer to that challenge and hey look, Joey Mercury has kicked the smack. MNM/Hardy Boys at the PPV.
#1 Contender Diva Battle Royale
Mickey James comes out as the Women’s Champion. Melina is the first to come down. Candice is next. Commercials after that.
We’re back. Torrie Wilson is entering the ring. Victoria and Maria came out during the break. Victoria beats the hell out of everyone. Melina and Victoria double team Torrie. Victoria sets up Torrie in the corner and Melina charges. Huge (sort of) clothesline lays out Melina. That’s it for her. Maria almost gets dumped next. She holds on. Victoria steamrolls Torrie Wilson and then dumps Maria (aww). Candice tries to make it interesting with a fireman’s carry on Victoria. Victoria kicks Candice in the face and wins it.
Victoria hits a Widow’s Peak on Candice after the match.
Hardy Boyz debut on Sunday Night Heat against Kaientai and they win it! What horrible outfits they had.
We’re back and Eugene is heading down to the ring. His suit is still slimed.
Retarded vs Eugene: Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Eugene
Big USA chant. Eugene wants a handshake, but he settles for a slap across Hacksaw’s face. Ten years ago, could anyone really predict that Hacksaw Jim Duggan would still be wrestling and the Big Boss Man would be dead. Hacksaw tries for the three point tackle but Eugene bails. Eugene trips up Hacksaw and he rams Hacksaw’s head into the ring post. Swinging neck breaker and that’s it.
Eugene’s got a microphone. He’s special! He’s really special! He flips out. Wow, a heel retard. Fantastic.
In the back, DX is with Dusty and Arn. DX has a big party planned tonight. Shawn has Ginger Ale on ice, chips, soda, and (maybe) a karaoke machine! Triple H comes back and says he’s got two words for them, booze and broads. Ron Simmons comes in and well… you know.
Cutting Edge with Mystery Guest is up next.
This week in wrestling history, it’s the Test/Stephanie McMahon Marriage!
Edge comes down. Puts down DX, puts over himself, puts over Lita, and that’s that. Edge wants his special guest to come down. He doesn’t. He’s about to call tonight’s show quits when Randy comes out. Randy needs Edge to confirm if that’s the special guest. As it turns out, it’s Ric Flair beaten and bloodied. They want DX, but DX has left the building. Edge sets up the one man conchairto. Orton hits one more for good measure.
3 Weeks Ago, Lawler starts his annual feud, this time with Masters. We recap the madness that has happened to Flair tonight. Flair was carried out on a stretcher. JR says that DX is the perpitartors of the beating.
Speaking of Horrible Scenes of Violence: Chris Master vs Jerry Lawler
Ugh. I’m not watching this shit. Masters hits the Masterlock, Carlito comes down. Masters breaks the hold and gets apple spit in his face. Roll up and the King wins it.
Winner: Jerry Lawler
See No Evil is out this week on DVD.
First Edge and Christian/Hardy Boys ladder match. Things go from bad to worse as here comes Umaga. Umaga got himself DQed at the Survivor Series. It was pretty retarded. Umaga beats everyone. Now it’s time for Cena/Umaga. Thank goodness for that. John Cena is on notice. Here comes Cena. Cena accepts the challenge. Umaga freaks out. Estrada holds Umaga back, and well… that’s it.
Michael Richards parody. Um ok. Cryme Tyme shows up and puts an end to this thankfully. Cryme Tyme shows what’s the deal with black guys beating up white guys.
In the back, Jeff is heckled by Edge. Edge says his brother is a worthless piece of trash. Randy shows up and then Matt shows up! That match is next.
World Tag Team Championship Match: Ordge vs The Hardy Boyz
Jeff starts things off with Randy. Randy hits a shoulder block. Hardy pops up and hits a hip toss. Jeff tags in Matt and they switch it up. Randy gets a quick advantage and tags Edge in. Edge beats on Jeff and taunts Matt. Quick tag to Orton as he whails away on Jeff with rights and stomps. Tag to Edge and he drops the elbow and a drop kick for two. More quick tags and jeff is the face in peril. Jeff finally puts a stop to this as he lands a double DDT. Hot tag to Matt.
Matt runs over everyone. He bulldogs Edge and clothesline Orton at the same time. Both men go up top for a double leg drop, but Jeff gets shoved off. Orton pops up and slows Matt down. Matt pushes him off and misses the moonsault. Edge measures Matt for a spear and… commercial? Mmmkay.
We’re back and Randy has Matt down in a chin lock. Matt gets flipped over Orton’s knee. Apparently Edge hit the spear. Jeff broke up the count. Edge tags in, and rests it up. JR reminds us this is a one fall match… matt fights back, but he’s dropped by a drop toe hold. Orton drops his knee agaisnt Matt’s neck and wears Matt down. Edge gets tagged in and… dropped. Matt hits the moonsault!
He almost makes the tag, but Orton drops him. They trade rights and Matt finally makes the tag. Jeff drops Edge first then proceeds to work over Randy. Orton is hit by the Whispers in the Wind. Matt hits the side effect on Edge. Double side effect on Randy gets two. Double leg drop gets two. Matt comes over the top and takes out Edge. Randy tries for the RKO, but it’s countered! Twist of Fate! Swanton! It’s… a belt shot by Edge. Meh.
Winner by DQ: Hardy Boyz
Meh. Orton and Edge beat down the Hardys after the match.