BLATT vs. ECW on SciFi live for November 28th, 2006
Expect this week to be a bit sour. I’ve got a PPV coming up for a fledgling WWE brand and they’ve spent so much time building up to the Survivor Series that the first PPV of ECW doesn’t matter. Obviously. Who cares to drive up the buy rate for ECW when you’ve got a PPV that sells itself based on its name and history?
I mean, they’ve set this whole thing up to fail. They’ve taken the ECW out of the PPV and the Hardy’s are going to face a reuniting MNM on an ECW PPV. You know what that says to me? It reeks of poor planning, shitty booking and no long term plan. Vince soured on this product months ago, and it’s showing. Rather than evolve the product into something he likes, he’s just let it die. This is sad.
We’re live
Heyman is in the ring to talk up the garbage match that is going to be the EECM. If you need to explain the rules nearly a week before the PPV, it’s not good news. Heyman wants us to give a shit as he announces the weapons for the match. A chair, a crowbar, a table. The table managed to blow it’s own spot, and it does by falling over without being touched. Nice touch. And the last weapon is a barbed wire baseball bat, which actually draws heat from the Buffalo crowd.
Let the Bodies Hit the Floor
The show “opens”, the music plays and Joey and Tazz try to sell me that the EECW is not going to be a clusterf*ck.
Rob Van Dam comes out to the ring and one of those personal dating services videos start to play that RVD knows the dangers of the match. I know that RVD was reading just there. Sabu comes out and he also gets the same dating video treatment.
Rob Van Dam over Sabu by five star frog splash
Wow. I figured that we would have been seeing this match at Wrestlemania for the ECW title. RVD and Sabu get the back and forth crowd chants, but RVD is just too over with the crowd. Shame that they’ll never see him champion ever again. Both guys are pulling punches and barely deviating from the homogenized WWE styles, unfortunately.
It’s very clear that both of these guys know that they are on the outs with the booking team. I’m pretty sure that we came back from break with a REST HOLD IN A ROB VAN DAM VS. SABU MATCH. Once again to no surprise we get a teased suplex over the top rope to the outside. Instead Sabu goes for a sunset flip and BLOWS THE FUCKING SPOT. No surprise to me.
Nice move by Sabu jumping into a springboard leg drop off of RVDs back. When RVD hits the rolling thunder on Sabu and goes for a pin, Sabu should have slapped him in the face. What a load of crap. Sabu attempts a tornado DDT, RVD throws him off, five star, three count, match over. Why was this not the main event? Why was this not given more time? It’s because these two needed to be on TV, as much as I’m sure it hurts Vince to put either of these guys on TV.
That question is answered, because we get the Smackdown reject main event of Lashley vs. Big Show. Next up, the Hardy Boyz waste my time.
You know, even if the EECM takes up an hour and the Hardyz’ match lasts half an hour, there’s still an hour and a half left in the program.
The Hardy Boyz over Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay by Twist of Fate and Swanton
The Hardyz walk out and the camera crew and director blow the spot of completely missing the fireworks. Let’s see, we’ve got an ECW team facing a Smackdown/RAW combination team on ECW programming so the SD/RAW team can prepare to face a former Smackdown! team on an ECW PPV. Yeah, you read all that right. Anyway, all the guys in the match who aren’t referred to as a “man bear” spend their time protecting Terkay. When he’s in, hes either dominating or getting double teamed. Twist of Fate / Swanton ends the match. Nothing like promoting your brand by having your newcomers lose to the visiting team.
MNM comes in to take out the Hardyz and I can SMELL the buy rates going up by tenths of a point. Up next, CM Punk beats Test.
We get a recap of the press conference of D2D. Did you ever think that the original ECW had a press conferences? Then again, is it still a press conference when only fans show up?
CM Punk and Test go to a count out
Test’s back is all broken out in pimples. Isn’t that a side effect of steroids? Punk gets the crowd support. Well, the Smackdown fans that haven’t left the arena and aren’t in the bathroom or concession stands are firmly behind CM Punk. Now, if ECW was smart, they’d know to put this match last because of the amount of people that turn the show off after CM Punk wrestles. Specifically IP’s Pulse Glazer. If you’re down with ROH, you’re down with Aaron. Check out his two reviews from this past weekend.
Well, before I can even notice, these two have caused a count out, meanwhile, CM Punk is having to be pulled off Test after kicking the crap out of him repeatedly outside the ring.
Heyman tries to talk Big Show out of his match with Lashley.
Just in time for ECW to be The Marine promos free, See No Evil is being released on DVD.
MNM is backstage and having a press conference, and they appear to have more people caring about their conference than the D2D conference.
Lashley over Big Show by DQ when the security force and Test ended the match
Show gets a personal dating video with his usual garbage and then…
commercials
Lashley comes out to the ring and thankfully, he doesn’t get a personal dating video. The match begins and it’s big man vs. big man. Just the kind of wrestling that ECW was never known for. Lashley takes the damage here because most of Lashley’s move set couldn’t be done to the Big Show because of Show’s current health. Lashley’s first offensive move was a suplex off of the first rope (I can’t make this up) and some clotheslines. At least the Big Show is trying. Lashley gets a spear and Heyman calls in the security force. Test follows and this match is officially crap! Lashley gets beat up by everyone and given a choke slam for good measure. You might argue that it made Lashley look good, but I question if you need to make him look good at this point. He was one of the remaining Survivors at the Survivor Series. Lashley takes some slaps from Heyman and a title shot from Show. Show “pins” Lashley and our opportunity to see all six guys fighting goes right out the window.
The Inside Pulse
At least CM Punk was on the show. *1/2
With a few days to go before December to Dismember, this show helped in no way shape or form to help us figure out what the hell is going to go on during this PPV. The only reason I can imagine that they haven’t announced anything for this is that they want it to be like ECW 1.0, where the PPVs would change as the nights went along. however, they’ve made it clear that this is nothing like ECW 1.0.
When this show fails, it’s not going to be a reflection on the ECW brand or any of the wrestlers or even the bookers. It will reflect bad on Vince McMahon. Months ago we all heard that after the first episode of ECW, Vince decided that Paul Heyman shouldn’t be the guy who books the show anymore. Since then, RVD and Sabu have been arrested for possession and made to look limp and worthless on the shows. Balls Mahoney was suspended after violating the wellness policy and hasn’t been seen since. Kurt Angle left the WWE in a highly embarrassing and public manner. Tommy Dreamer went back to his Val Venis-like retirement. Terry Funk cashed his check for his match and got the hell out of town. Kevin Thorn was introduced to the WWE crowd once more to a lukewarm reaction once more. Hardcore Holly was brought in and within two months already went from heel to face to heel. Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly were introduced and shortly castrated by being steamrolled by CM Punk.
Speaking of CM Punk, he’s just about the only thing going right with ECW. Let’s just hope that they don’t ruin it. Do me a favor, if you can afford it buy December to Dismember. I mean, it’s not break the bank kinda money, and I have a feeling that ECW isn’t lasting until its one year anniversary at this rate.
