After some to-ing and fro-ing, umm-ing and ahh-ing, deliberating, pondering, contemplating and good ol’ procrastinating, the good people of Pulse Wrestling are proud to bring you your very own Q&A column!
Yes, it’s yours. I’m just the designated driver sober enough to try and figure out what all those pesky maps and satnav squiggles mean, so hopefully I can steer your queries in the right direction. Not sure if that was a metaphor or a ramble. Possibly a metamble. I’m good at those.
For those of you who haven’t experienced by metambles before I can assure you that I do know what I’m talking about with regards to wrestling and have been writing various online columns and newsletters for far longer than I would care to admit. Computers run by cassettes? Anyone? Cassettes? No? Fucking kids…
So, here is the single rule. You think of wrestling-related questions and you e-mail them here. Then I answer them in the shiny glory that is Pulse Wrestling Answers, either whilst drinking too much coffee or not enough alcohol. Three Anti-Pulse Points to those who can correctly guess what I’m drinking right now. Hint: it’s black. Well, most of it is.
Since this is our very first week we do of course have to overcome the lack of questions. A quick whip-round on our staff forum brought us some very shiny queries straight from the inboxes of some of Pulse Wrestling’s finest that we’ll get to in a bit. First of all, it has been brought to my attention by far more people than I would ever have thought possible that the current status of Josh Matthews must be explained. One of these people was our very own multi-limbed deity, Matthew Michaels, a.k.a. Fingers, a.k.a. Double M, a.k.a. Gaylord Gaytache, whose hairy-lipped appreciation for small, baby-faced young men should no longer be denied by a judgemental society. Well, Josh Matthews (real name Josh Lomberger) was apparently shot and killed as an on-air character by Tim White at the end of the WWE.com ‘suicidal ref’ skits that somebody, somewhere perhaps found amusing. He never appeared on Smackdown since then and has instead been working part-time as an editor and part-time as a WWE 24/7 host, as well as sometimes turning up on the international recap shows Experience and Afterburn… Experience & Afterburn? Sounds like the name of a Madonna party game… Anyway, Matthews was being considered as a wrestler for the Smackdown brand but asked for a more lucrative talent contract rather than his current presenter one. The company couldn’t be arsed sorting that out, Kevin Dunn told him to forget about it and that his future lay in announcing, though of course they haven’t let him do much of that lately. In short, he’s still around but in a weird limbo state. He also recently married his long-time girlfriend Rue DeBona, who also worked for WWE on TV briefly a few years back.
It would appear that I know far too much about Josh Matthews.
So, now that the Tenacious Tache Twirler has been appeased, let’s move on to our prototype questions…
“Who was the last person to hold the WWF Light Heavyweight Title?”
Oh, bollocks. First question and it means talking about X-Pac. Well, there’s your answer, basically. X-Pac. Yay. He might not have literally been the last person to hold it. I’m sure that it could have raised a few pretty crack pennies along the way, which would be a fitting end for one of the most peculiar titles in WWE history. It actually started out in Japan in 1981, with a weight limit of 215 lbs, due to a working arrangment the then WWF had with the Mexican promotion UWA, with both companies working matches on NJPW dates. It’s entirely possible that Vince’s motivation was nothing more than laughing at those crazy l’il buggers zipping around the ring, leaping and spinning and twirling, twirling, twirling with tache-like glee in his honour. Eventually, in 1997, the WWF realised that the cruiserweights on Nitro were getting a great reaction and that it might benefit them to have something similar. They nicked the belt from the reigning champion, Shinjiro Ohtani, brought it back to the US and held a tournament for the vacant belt, which was won by the not-yet-evil Taka Michinoku. Of course, as always, the WWF proved unable to do anything memorable with their cruiserweights, and they were never going to do anything to help the ratings anyway. Despite a few decent matches in the first couple of months it took them less than a year to put the belt on Duane “Gillberg” Gill to kill its credibility altogether. It was dragged out of mothballs in 2000 to give Essa Rios and Dean Malenko something to do, with Malenko having a forgotten classic of a match with Scotty 2 Hotty at that year’s Backlash. Then came 2001, the Invasion and seven thousand and fifty two title changes on a daily basis, with the WWF Light Heavyweight Champion X-Pac simultaneously holding the WCW Cruiserweight Title on two occasions but not unifying the belts. He dropped the WCW belt to Billy Kidman in October ’01 but kept the WWF belt. Then he was injured in November and the WWF belt was quietly abandoned as the company quickly tidied up the loose ends of the Invasion and the numerous titles by the end of the year. They kept the WCW Cruiserweight Title lineage intact, simply renaming it as a WWF and then WWE championship instead. By the time X-Pac returned he no longer had the Light Heavyweight Title and nobody much cared.
Next…
“Is Vickie Guerrero on Smackdown the first time in wrestling where a widow played a key role in a storyline?”
Unless you count Dawn Marie’s heartfelt recovery from her beloved husband Al Wilson’s tragic death then, as far as I know, yeah. See? Vince is opening up doors of opportunity for widows the world over. The man is a veritable saint. The really sad thing is that even in her fragile emotional state Vickie is a far better performer than any of the other women on the rosters in this post-Stratus age.
Next…
“What is the “IWC 100?””
Do you mean the Audioplex IWC 100 In-Wall 4-Pair Speaker Selector w/ Volume Controls? Or the IWC<100 method for explicitly calculating ice settling in flux as utilised by the European Centre for Medium-range Weather Forecasting? Or perhaps the hundred best selections of the International Wine Competition based in Sydney? More than likely you are referring to that mildly irritating term the Internet Wrestling Community (yeuch) and the IWC 100 list that used to be compiled by Pulse Wrestling's relief contributor Flea, in which he listed his favourite online wrestling writers. As far as I know his site is down now but you can see an old list here.
Next…
“How do you pronounce “kayfabe?””
Sexily. In a German accent. On all fours. Whilst blading. During your daily McMahon prayers. And saying ‘kay-faybe.’
Next…
“Aside from K-Fed, what other celebrities have participated in major North American wrestling in the past?”
Lots have turned up over the years but the most effective ones have certainly been Andy Kauffman, Mr T, Cyndi Lauper, Mike Tyson and Dennis Rodman. You can see the cliffnotes version of Kauffman’s involvement in the wrestling industry in the underappreciated movie Man on the Moon, which features a cameo by Jim Ross as a wrestling commentator (ah, those were the days) and, of course, Jerry Lawler as himself in his hairy-lipped glory days. You’ve probably heard of the infamous Kaufman/Lawler confrontation on the Letterman show and you can go one better and see it here:
Mr T and Lauper were key in getting the fledgling Rock ‘N’ Wrestling years of the WWF off the ground and getting mainstream exposure for WWF superstars like Hogan and Piper. It’s certainly hard to imagine that WrestleMania I would have been the success it was without T and Lauper’s involvement in storylines leading up to the event, not to mention appearances by Muhammad Ali and Liberace. Their involvement gave the WWF its first dose of pop-culture buzz in the TV era and, via some profound cross-promotion with the similarly developing MTV, they were able to do what Vince McMahon has never shut up about and change the face of the industry. Tyson’s involvement in WrestleMania XIV had a similar effect in a more edgy manner by legitimising Stone Cold and DX as cool, anti-establishment, easily-merchandised commodities, taking Paul Heyman’s counter-culture booking in ECW onto a much higher platform. Rodman had done something similar for WCW, the nWo and Hollywood Hogan the year before at the peak of his controversial basketball career, although his appearance at Bash at the Beach ’98 the following year did f*ck all for business because the buzz had died. There is a definite time-limit to celebrities, particularly those who are willing to ‘lower’ themselves into participating in professional wrestling events. The key is to use them at the right time, program them with the right people, and make sure that the people they work with come across as popular celebrities in their own right. Then, having transferred their buzz to the wrestler, you ditch the celebrity and market the wrestler on their own merits. I guess the Tyson/Austin program was the swiftest and most effective yet, though the lengthier and more involved participation of Mr T shouldn’t be overlooked.
All this and only Pete Rose has been inducted into the ‘celebrity wing’ of the WWE Hall of Fame. For shame.
As for Federline… is he even considered a celebrity anymore? Outside of his first appearance he hasn’t really done a damn thing for the ratings, or raised the profiles of Cena, Nitro or Melina outside of the established audience. He does, however, appear to be a very effective heel and could become a terrific manager for someone like Shelton Benjamin. It’s not like he has many other options now his marriage is dead and his rap career was stillborn.
Next…
“One thing that i have always wondered about is an issue regarding Shawn and wrestlemania 15. I read in a wrestling magazine that he upset wwe officials by not sticking to the script during his promo before the main event. I then read that this lead to him being written of t.v for a few months. I am confused as to how exactly he went against the script as his promo seemed pretty ordinary to me. Thanx”
This was during the time when Michaels’ back had been twisted up by years of profound bumping and, apparently, failing to please God. He had turned up on TV again as the WWF Commissioner despite being unable to compete and continued to be a fairly major nuisance backstage, which wasn’t just due to him continuing the prima donna tantrums of his mid ’90s peak but taking far too many painkillers to cope with his injuries and getting depressed about his wrestling career apparently being over. In fact, there are a lot of parallels to be drawn between the Shawn Michaels of 1999 with the Kurt Angle of 2006 – apart, sadly, from the part where Angle continues to wrestle. Anyway, I can’t remember anything specific that Michaels might have said during a promo but there have been numerous reports about him trying to get the WrestleMania XV main event changed. Michaels and The Rock had never gotten along for various reasons and Michaels was trying to get Triple H put into the main event instead. Another initial plan for the show was a three-way between Austin, Rock and Mankind. Michaels lobbied for it being a one-on-one match instead, feeling that the WrestleMania main event should always be a singles bout. Of course, it was Rocky that he wanted removed from the equation but the WWF disagreed. Between his behaviour, condition and running a wrestling academy in Texas, Michaels and the WWF mutually agreed to not pester one another for a while. Eventually, he sobered up, God fixed his back, and we got a few more classic matches out of him. S’all good.
Next…
“Anyway, a week or so ago when [Scott Keith posted on his blog] about 5 star matches, I went back and watched some of the ones I don’t care for as much just to see if my opinion had changed. Specifically, I watched Bret/Owen in the cage and Rock/Austin from WM17. These are both matches that are universally praised by the IWC, but I just don’t like them that much. I love Bret and Owen (their match from WM10 is an all-time favorite of mine), but I HATE, HATE, HATE WWF escape rules cage matches. I think if climbing over the cage was the only way to escape, I would be OK, but I’ve always hated the idea of escaping out the door. I realize there’s such things as “real life logic”, and “wrestling logic”, but I never could wrap my brain around the fact that I can’t think of one reason why someone would ever climb the cage instead of go for the door. Furthermore, the fact that everyone always had such a hard time getting out the door always pissed me off. Oh well. As far as WM17 is concerned, over the years I’ve come to realize just how talented Austin was, and I respect what The Rock brings to the table (However, I despise the sloppiness of some of his moves. I mean, if he’s going to use the Sharpshooter, the least he could do is learn to apply the hold correctly), but I’ve never liked the patented “WWF Main Event Style.” Generally speaking, there’s just too much brawling and an over-dependance on signature spots for my liking.
So all this got me thinking about just what are my favorite “house styles.” I don’t mean individual wrestler’s styles, but rather the overall style presented by the promotion. Now, I’m sure you can articulate the differences between various styles better than me, but here are some of my favorites:
80’s Crockett: great southern tag matches, brutal and bloody feuds, Flair in his prime
Early 90’s, pre-Hogan WCW: still very southern, but the Japanese influences were starting to show
Early 90’s NJPW (juniors): for my money, the greatest lightweight wrestling ever
96,97 WWF: lots of crap no doubt, but the guys on top were taking the pre-attitude American style to its pinnacle
Late 90’s WCW (undercard): we all know the main eventers played by different rules, but the undercard was creating an almost perfect blend of North American and Japanese styles.
00,01 WWF: the introduction of guys like Benoit, Angle, Jericho, and Eddie (and the absence of Russo) really made the holdovers from the attitude era step up their game to new levels. Unfortunately a rash of injuries (and egos) forced Vince to water things down post-Invasion.
current ROH: ROH has really matured over the last couple of years. Initially they had a very indy style, but over the last couple of years they’ve introduced more traditional American elements and toned down the ridiculous spot fests which have really improved the product.
So what are your favorite eras/styles?”
Living in Scotland, I’ve missed out on quite a bit of ’80s NWA, since all we could get was the WWF and even that wasn’t readily accessible. Thankfully the upcoming spate of DVDs will make it easy to get caught up on as much as possible.
And would it hurt them to add a Wargames Collection to the schedule?
Anyway, for the longest time I was mainly interested in the Intercontinental Title. I realise that’s not an ‘era’ in itself but if it hadn’t been for the likes of Savage, Steamboat, Hennig, Rude, WOYAH, Bret and Michaels then I’d never have bothered to stick around. Maybe I should blame them rather than thank them… But then came the days of the Clique and the belt never really recovered.
As far as particular eras are concerned, I’ll have to be predictable and go for the post-Russo, pre-Invasion stretch of the WWF. I don’t think that any other promotion ever managed to get such a satisfying blend of styles, matches, comedy, drama and even innovation. Triple H was on fire, The Rock had learnt how to hide his weaknesses and enhance his strengths, Angle, Benoit, Jericho and Guerrero were tearing it up, Austin had some of his greatest matches ever after his injury, the involvement of the McMahons hadn’t reached saturation point yet, Foley, Edge and Christian were providing plenty of laughs, and even undercard guys like Kaientai and Raven got some attention. Unfortunately they were probably too good for their own good and couldn’t quite figure out how to progress things without endlessly repeating themselves.
Special mention must also go to ECW circa ’94-96, back when they were just under the radar and could still keep that lightning in the bottle. You’d be hard pressed to find better booked feuds than Foley/Funk and Raven/Dreamer.
Oh, and Nitro in ’96-97, which somehow managed to work in spite of WCW’s involvement.
Anybody else?
Next…
“If the greatest North American wrestling match of the 80’s would be Flair/Steamboat 3 from Wrestlewar ’89, what do you feel is the greatest NA wrestling match of the 90’s and, if you could venture to say, what would currently be the greatest match of the 00’s so far?”
Hart/Austin and we haven’t seen it yet. That’s the WrestleMania 13 Hart/Austin match, of course. Their Survivor Series ’96 effort was in many ways a technically superior match but the WM13 version will forever be remembered not only as a greatly involving encounter, not only as a prime example of the double-turn, and not only the passing of the torch between the former and future flagship wrestler of the promotion but as the end of a verifiable era in the business and the beginning of an exciting new one. Personally, in terms of pure quality as well as significance, I’d rank it above any of the Flair/Steamboat matches. Pity that it took place on the least successful Mania of all time, though the blockbusting success of the next Mania is indicative of how effect the match proved to be. There is no stand-out match for this decade yet although there are certainly plenty of contenders, with HHH/Foley (HITC), Benoit/Angle (Rumble ’03) and Punk/Joe II being the most worthy of the accolade in my opinion. I’ll leave it up to you guys to decide…
Next…
“If Owen Hart wouldn’t of broken Steve Austin’s neck at SummerSlam 1997, how much different would the WWF’s past 9 years be?
If Austin wouldn’t of need neck surgery right around Survivor Series ’99, and he was healthy enough to wrestle in 2000, how much differently would of 2000 played out?”
Cool, been a long time since I played the ‘what if’ game. They used to do this kinda thing all the time in the Apter mags and nothing they wrote made a lick of bloody sense, not that I’m promising to do any better.
Austin never having suffered the neck injury probably wouldn’t have had much of an immediate impact considering he was still able to headline WrestleMania XIV. I’m sure it wouldn’t have affected the eventual addition of the piledriver ban in WWE either, since workers like Angle, Benoit and Lita, among others, would still have wound up with neck injuries nonetheless for various reasons. Owen and Austin would certainly have remained friends but the only major change would be your second question and Austin not having to take a year off in 2000. Then we would have had the established megastar Austin, the swiftly ascending and irrepressible Rocky, and the politically-connected Triple H, not to mention the Undertaker’s return on a big shiny bike. Given that line-up on top there is no chance in hell that Kurt Angle would have been given the world title that year, or that Benoit and Jericho would have received as much attention as they did – and we all know that most people are still pissed about them apparently not receiving enough back then. Of course, WCW would have imploded regardless, the Invasion would still have been botched, the nWo would still have been brought back out of desperation, and The Rock would still have done the money-match with Hogan as Triple H grew ever closer to the McMahon family. Even though he may not have been living in as much pain due to having a healthier neck, Austin would almost certainly have still felt that he was being muscled out and still have thrown a major temper tantrum – not to mention that his knees would still have been f*cked, as would his marriage to Debra. Perhaps he might have wisened up and been able to carry on wrestling past 2003 but his general apathy towards the product and potential future stars like Brock Lesnar would probably be the same. He’d probably be on a similar contract to Mick Foley’s current one, agreeing to turn up and work two or three matches a year. I don’t really think there would have been many, if any, major changes to the business had Owen not f*cked up that tombstone.
Next…
Next, you send in more questions and get some Pulse Wrestling Answers next week.
In the meantime, I get to walk around in the pissing rain to earn my lunch. It’s great when yer wet.
