Akon – Konvicted
Universal/Motown (released 11/21/2006)
Urban/R&B
My wife and I tend to run in entirely different musical circles.
She’s not much into the “urban” scene, save for the occasional made-for-radio work of artists who are more style than substance. So, her reaction should’ve come as no surprise when I told her that I’d received a review copy of Aliaune (Akon) Thiam’s latest album, Konvicted.
Mrs. Cameron’s direct quote was, “Akon’s just good for hooks. He can’t carry a whole album.”
Unfortunately for me, Akon hails from the wrong country in Western Africa. As it stands, he was born in Senegal, which rendered my brilliant retort, “So, you’re saying he’s the Nigerian Nate Dogg?” null and void.
I was actually able to go into Konvicted with a more open mind than my wife. These days, I don’t listen to a whole lot of FM commercial radio, so I had hardly realized that Akon was collaborating with everyone from Snoop Dogg to Gwen Stefani. So, on a sunny San Diego Saturday, I popped Akon’s sophomore CD into the car stereo and used it as my Xmas shopping soundtrack.
And, about 60 seconds in, one thing became perfectly clear: “Akon” is French for “Nate Dogg”. (Y’see, cuz French is the official language of Senegal. In fact, you can read several more interesting facts about Senegal right here.)
Konvicted is basically the album that m’man Nate Dogg should’ve released in 1995 to capitalize on the peak of his fame. All through Akon’s effort, I couldn’t help but be drawn to the eerie similarities between the two artists’ approach.
“Shake Down” is the opening track, which serves up the standard H.N.I.C. subject matter over an admittedly impressive beat with just a hint of majesty. But, my mind was drawn to the fact that Nate Dogg used the same approach for his first album’s first track “Hardest Man in Town”.
Trust me, readers”¦this isn’t another attempt by me to force the West Coast down your collective throats.
The very next track, “Blown Away”, features Styles P in a paint-by-numbers cameo and a generic Akon hook. My first thought: the Jada n’ Nate track “Time’s Up” from Kiss’ last solo LP.
This is not an isolated incident.
Eminem shows up on the inane pabulum of “Smack That”, further deteriorating Slim Shady’s once-impressive standing and all I can think of is how Em n’ Nate made the same song last year called “Shake That”. When Akon tries to get all serious on “The Rain” it’s impossible for me not to remember how Nate Dogg used the exact same metaphor on “I Don’t Wanna Hurt No More”.
Even when Akon is trying to sound sincere, it falls flat with his ridiculous lyricism. You’d think he’d have some vested interest in a cut like “Mama Africa”. But, then he inexplicably takes the grade school approach of spelling out the word and telling us what each letter means. Y’know”¦”A is for”¦, F is for”¦, R is for”¦”
Of course you already knew that Nate Dogg did the same thing on 1997’s “G-Funk”, which included the spelling bee elimination lyric, “K is for these n*ggas that I knock on they back.” I mean, did the “K” stand for “n*gga” or “knock”, Nate?
Well, I’ve just about beat this point into the ground, so I’ll take time to point out that Akon finishes strong with “Don’t Matter”. The entire song is only about 20 words repeated over and over, but the whole “forbidden love” thing isn’t lost on me. After all, Nate Dogg did it too on both “Because I Got a Girl” and “Dirty Hoes’ Draws”.
Akon’s success on the Billboard charts belies the very real fact that there’s just not much to his “talent”. At only 12 tracks, it’s hard to argue that he overstays his welcome, but Akon is the very essence of “complementary talent”. As such, Akon should stay the hell away from a microphone unless he’s got the adult supervision of another artist to do the heavy lifting.
Rating:
