Well, now that the Shredder was crushed in the garbage truck, it’s up to Tatsu to lead the foot clan. Let’s see how this clan can pull together in the face of adversity. So now David Lagana and Pantelis Ypsilantis are running the show. I’m going to reserve judgement on this team for a few weeks, but they were booked into a crappy corner so far. Lagana has been with the company in one way or another since 1997. IMDb gives him credit for 1997 RAW, 1999’s Smackdown, one episode of Friends, and 2003 through the current Smackdown. Supposedly Ypsilantis was the guy that Heyman was taking under his wing, but now with him gone, Ypsilantis and CM Punk might be in some trouble.
Anyway, tonight’s show is live and we’re again treated to another Cyber Sunday style poll for who will face Lashley for the title on January 2nd. Remember that each vote that you make for RVD or Sabu is a vote wasted. Well, you know the WWE. They don’t change their plans just because the fans want to see something that is going in a completely different direction from where they are going. Does anyone remember the 1995 King of the Ring tournament? Lex Luger’s title run? Who ran over Austin?
Anyway…
Lashley starts off the show and lord help us he’s got a live mic. He came to ECW because all the ECW fans make him happy and proud. He calls Big Show the tallest opponent he’s faced in the WWE. What a statement. No wonder they haven’t given him a live mic before. Being on Smackdown really helped protect him.
Before too long, we’re given the real reason why he’s there: to pimp the “pick Lashley’s opponent” vote at ECW.com. Whoever he faces, he wants them to know he’s the champion. He also is there to pimp the Christmas tribute to the troops show. Luckily Rene Dupree is there to break up this crap.
Rene compares Lashley to the troops in Iraq, he’s a hero and a puppet. In his opinion, they need that tribute because they are getting their ass kicked in the middle east. You know, I think Dupree might be right about what he’s saying. Unfortunately this only invokes xenophobic feelings in the crowd who chant “USA” at Dupree. Instead of showing Dupree as a legitimate threat to Lashley, Dupree is treated like he’s Justin Credible.
By the way, a match started.
Lashley over Rene Dupree by Dominator
Rene did mention that he’s the most extreme athlete in the history of ECW. Unfortunately he’s not showing much in this match outside of the fact that he can make Lashley look good. Shame about all that time they invested in Dupree, I think he got in two moves in this whole match.
Thanks to the upcoming tribute to the troops show, we’re going to be shown all of the army personnel in the crowd.
With that we go into the commercial break.
Brad Armstrong is at ringside with Styles and Tazz. Striker is in the ring. Maybe Armstrong will mention VKM… or maybe he’s the smart Armstrong and has a deal with the WWE.
Matt Striker over Balls Mahoney by The Golden Rule
Looks like Balls is finally going to have a wrestling match. Striker will give Balls some competition when it comes to mat wrestling and Balls will give Striker some competition when it comes to brawling. Balls hits a nice innovative suplex which leads into the “Balls” chant. Balls has got one f the best Arn Anderson spine busters I’ve seen this side of HHH.
Strikers finisher is apparently called “The Golden Rule” and we’ve now seen it.
Test reads off the teleprompter and sounds like an idiot. Blah. Next.
Bob Holly is in the ring and this might be the “Why does he have a live mic?” edition of ECW. He says that CM Punk can’t make him tap out and that Holly is a weapon and will always be a weapon. Holly states that Punk only has three minutes to make him tap out.
Punk obviously has the crowd support and keeps going to the well for the Anaconda Vice. Tazz makes no mention of his TV Title victory over Shane Douglas in the original ECW, but I’ll forgive him. Lots of rest holds by Holly, which actually makes sense in one of his matches for once.
Time runs out as Punk has the Vice. Holly attacks him while he’s talking to the referee post 3:00 mark. Afterwards holly claims he doesn’t tap to anybody.
Backstage Shannon Moore is on the phone and accidentally bumps into Daivari and Khali backstage. Daivari wants a match tonight. Wow! Moore is going to wrestle?
So instead of seeing a competitive match between Moore and Daivari we’re going to see Shannon Moore vs. the Great Khali. Those lessons in Farsi really came in handy for Daivari. Well, there goes our possibility for a good match. Can you imagine being Shannon Moore knowing that you’ve gotta fly out to ECW, do your makeup, gel up your mohawk and get two minutes of TV time to try and make this retard look good?
Khali over Shannon Moore by squash match
After the match, Dreamer comes out and gets flattened by Khali. He even takes one of Khali’s choke slams on the stairs. Doesn’t matter how many people they put out there to fight Khali, he’s not going to look good.
I think Dreamer is making little barking noises as he’s laying there in pain.
After a brief promo of or Sabu, Dreamer is brought out of the ring side area in a stretcher. It would have taken an actual broken back for that to happen in the original ECW.
We re-cap the Mike Knox-Kelly Kelly dumping from two weeks ago.
Mike Knox is backstage and has some words for himself. Knox is also reading off of a teleprompter. Knox claims he’s the victim here.
Test over Rob Van Dam and Sabu
These guys are the choices for the voting on ECW.com.
…commercials
We’re back and Test has control. Looks like they are forgoing an actual three way match in favor of the “not tag format, but only two guys are gonna be in the ring at a time” style three way match. Once Test gets RVD out of the ring, it’s Test and Sabu.
NICE three man move there. Test is going to superplex Sabu, RVD gives Test a powerbomb, who superplexes Sabu. Now we’ve got all three guys in the ring as RVD can’t get a pin on either man. RVD and Sabu team up on Test but still can’t get a pin. Sabu and RVD start fighting once Test is out of the ring. Sabu’s lip is busted, but somehow I doubt he notices. RVD hits the five star on Sabu, but Test takes the pin from him instead.
Tazz jumps into the ring with a mic afterwards and will reveal who won the fan voting for who will be the #1 contender. The voting says RVD unsurprisingly. Looks like in two weeks it is RVD vs. Lashley and Lashley is going to taste what it feels like to be booed by an ECW crowd.
