Finlay and Booker are backstage already with Theodore Long. They ask Long for a rematch against Cena and Batista, but Long refuses it. Booker says that they are looking for the best competition he has to offer, so Long books them in a match against Kane and the Undertaker! Booker vs. Taker has always sucked, but this could be very interesting.
Opening video package and we’ve got no pyros; instead, Batista opens up the show. Batista says he’s finishing up the year strong… and Santa comes out. That reminds me, Armageddon note: stupid diva logic, can someone fill me in on why they enjoy running around in their under garments. Santa throws out presents, and even gives a box of candy canes to Batista. Batista begins throwing out candy canes, but Santa attacks Batista with a steel pole! Sports Entertainment at it’s best, ladies and gentlemen, and I never knew Santa was such a bastard. Theodore Long comes out and confronts Saint Nick, and books…. sigh … Santa vs. Batista.
Opening Contest: Santa vs. Batista
Santa … I don’t know why I’m recapping this, I must want myself and everyone else to suffer … Santa gets an arm breaker and sets the arm on the apron and attacks the shoulder. Even despite being the season, the fans chant for Batista. Santa gets a two count. Batista spinebusters Santa into the corner for a clothesline, but Santa gets a high boot. Santa runs into a shoulder body toss and a spear, and Batista removes Santa’s head gear to reveal the evil Frenchman … Sylvan. Right. Batista Bomb and now all little kiddies can sleep tight on Sunday Night, knowing that Santa may try and hit them with a steel pole.
Winner: Batista
-Three out of Ten. The fact that Sylvan was dressed up as Santa pretty much guaranteed this would be a minus match, even if it is the biggest thing he’s done since winning the RAW Tag Team Championships in 2003. Although, there are a few things to be taken note of here;
1; It’s an easy way to tell the kids that Santa Claus isn’t real.
2; If they don’t get the hint, you can tell them that Santa Claus is real and instead of coal, he dances in front of the naughty children wearing a tiny black thong, or hits them with a steel pole.
Photo recap of Armageddon, more specifically the United States Title match. JBL proclaims Chavo a hero and a champion of women’s right, and we’ve got a “return match” against Benoit for the title tonight!
Commercials.
Second Contest: United States Championship: Chavo Guerrero w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit (Champion)
Lock up and they take it to the corner, where Guerrero gets Benoit with kicks and clubs, but Benoit begins getting chops and elbows in. Benoit sends Guerrero into an opposing corner and follows with a snap suplex for a one count. Guerrero gets some shots in and begins stomping away at Benoit, before taking Benoit up and sending him down with an uppercut. Scoop slam by Guerrero for a two count. Benoit gets Guerrero down and goes for a Crippler Crossface early on but Guerrero gets to the ropes right away. Guerrero presses Benoit’s shoulders down to the canvas temporarily. Guerrero forces his knee in-between the shoulder blades, but Benoit looks to be reversing it and Benoit gets Guerrero in a small package, almost getting a three count. Benoit goes for the Triple Germans, but the two end up going outside.
Commercials.
We’re back and in the middle of a pinfall, which Benoit kicks out of. Guerrero gets a bodyscissors on Benoit, but Benoit escapes and gets a back drop on Guerrero. Guerrero gets a nice backbreaker on Benoit for another two count. Benoit trips Guerrero and goes for the Sharpshooter but Guerrero pushes him off, and irish whips Benoit back first into the corner. Guerrero returns to forcing his knee in-between the shoulders. Benoit gets sent into the ropes and holds on, Guerrero falls down after a dropkick attempt and Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter but Guerrero escapes it. Benoit with the chops to Guerrero and hits Guerrero with a flapjack, and hits the Triple Germans! Benoit up top and jumps off with the Swandive Headbutt! Benoit gets a two count. Benoit and Guerrero go up top, Guerrero pushes Benoit down and Guerrero goes for the Frog Splash, but Benoit gets the knees up! Benoit locks in the Crippler Crossface, but Vickie hits him with the belt!
Winner and Still Champion: Chris Benoit
Chris Benoit lets his arm be raised and calmly leaves the ring. The Guerreros begin to argue about how Vickie keeps disqualifying him, and Chavo shoves her down! Benoit checks on Vickie, and Chavo attacks Benoit from behind! Chavo gets Benoit down with a title shot, and leaves the ring, with Vickie and Benoit remaining in the ring. What does this mean for Vickie?!?! Seven out of Ten.
Booker and Finlay are backstage; Sharmell reveals no one has seen Kennedy since Armageddon, and MVP is still in the burn victim ward. Finlay hypes up Booker, saying that they can take out Kane and the Undertaker.
Commercials.
We’re back and Tony Chimmel is introducing everyone’s favoritee SmackDown Cruiser Weight Champion, Gregory Helms. Helms says he wants some competition and says he wants to move up to the heavy weight division, because there’s no one who can stop him .. cue the Boogeyman’s music. Helms attacks Boogeyman, but Boogeyman just keeps dancing before he throws Helms into the corner and clotheslines him down. Boogeyman goes for the worms but Helms runs through the audience … so Chimmel says that he’s “The Boogeyman, and he’s coming to getcha!”. I love how Chimmel is so annoyingly optimistic. So Boogeyman shoves some worms in his mouth as a thank you present. Chimmel runs backstage and Boogeyman dances for a little bit, before he makes his departure. A Helms / Boogeyman feud? That can’t be. Helms doesn’t have a valet.
Backstage, Joey Mercury looks screwed up with his injury from Armageddon. But that could possibly be the injury that makes his solo career.
Commercials.
Joey Mercury comes on out. JBL said that Mercury thought he had lost his eye. Man, if they give Mercury some new music and keep him in more casual attire instead of the MNM gear, I think he might make a pretty believable United States Champion. Mercury reminds us of the Ladder Match at Armageddon, and as disturbing it may be, he shows us the footage. He gets a pretty good (and well deserved) reception from the crowd after the footage airs, and he says he holds two people responsible for what happened to him: the Hardys. Mercury runs down the injuries he sustained, and Matt Hardy comes on out. Hardy says he wasn’t injured intentionally, but because he was taking part in a dangerous match. Hardy says it’s unfortunate, but wasn’t on purpose. Mercury continues to blame the Hardys, and challenges Hardy to a fight. Hardy holds himself back and Hardy says he isn’t going to fight him, and Mercury introduces Johnny Nitro! Man, just bring MNM and the Hardys back over to SmackDown already.
Third Contest: Matt Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro w/ Melina and Joey Mercury
Nitro attacks Hardy right off the bat to start, and Hardy fights back with punches. Nitro rolls outside and drags Hardy outside as well for kicks, and slams Hardy face first into the apron before taking the match back into the ring. Hardy gets sent into the corner but ducks a Nitro attack and nails him with a bulldog for a two. Hardy misses an elbow drop. Nitro with elbow shots and stops a Side Effect attempt, and follows with a neckbreaker. Melina with the Banshee moment. Nitro rolls outside and brings out a Ladder! …
Commercials.
We’re back and Hardy nails Nitro with a super back drop off the top rope. During the break, Hardy hit Nitro with a baseball slide, sending the ladder into his face, so officials took it away. Hardy gets some two counts over Nitro. Nitro spears Hardy into the corner, but Nitro runs into a high elbow. Melina distracts Hardy and Nitro kicks Hardy off of the turnbuckle to the outside. Back in the ring, Nitro gets a two count. Nitro sets Hardy up on the apron and kicks his chest, before he slingshots Hardy throat first into the bottom rope. Nitro with a two count. Nitro whips Hardy into the corner and misses a springboard kick attempt (nice). Hardy knees away at Nitro’s head and boots Nitro down for a two count. Nitro goes for a punch but Hardy turns it into a Side Effect for a two count. Hardy off the second rope with a leg drop (no yodel), for a two count. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate but Nitro pushes him off, Hardy goes for it again but Nitro turns it into a backslide with his feet on the ropes for the three count!
Winner: Johnny Nitro
Nitro helps Mercury backstage afterwards. Nice match. Six out of Ten.
Still to come: King Booker and Finlay vs. Kane and Undertaker.
But up next: JBL calls out Theodore Long!
Commercials.
JBL is in the ring, and says he was horrified at what he saw at Armageddon. The return of the Inferno Match. JBL says that there is a reason we don’t have Inferno Matches, they look good on paper when someone gets burned, until you realize someone gets burned. JBL compares it to hell and says hell was brought to MVP at Armageddon, and every single bit of it was Theodore Long’s fault. JBL doesn’t call it entertainment, he calls it garbage, and calls out Theodore Long. He demands an apology for himself, for SmackDown, and for MVP because he’s in a burn unit. Long doesn’t come out. JBL says that he has a list of lawyers and he will be sued, and continues to demand that Long come to the ring .. but he doesn’t. JBL says that since Long won’t come down, so JBL blames the fans for what has happened. JBL says it isn’t enough that they pay the money and someone spends 200 days away from their family, they need to see someone get seriously hurt – and it disgusts him. Rome didn’t fall because of the Gladiators, it fell because of the people in the stands. JBL says that if America goes down, it’d be because of the people like the fans who have embarrassed themselves, and JBL, and America. Fantastic rant, and I seriously hope this leads somewhere big.
Up next: Diva Tag Match, Ashley and Layla vs. Kristal and Jillian.
Commercials.
Fourth Contest: Ashley Massaro and Layla El vs. Kristal Marshall and Jillian Hall
Wasn’t Jillian Hall supposed to be a face? JBL makes a great comment on Ashley; “You could beat her with an ugly stick and she’ll still be hot”. Massaro and Marshall start. Lock up and Marshall pushes Massaro off, and Massaro sends Marshall face first into the turnbuckle a few times. Massaro with a bad scoop slam, and El tagged in. Massaro and El with a double elbow drop for a zero count. Marshall tags out to Hall. El with an elbow to Hall, Hall apparently slams El down. Hall with a backbreaker on El for a two count. Hall takes El to the corner for a kick, before she sends her into the opposing corner and goes for the handspring but El gets her feet up. Massaro in with clotheslines and a nice headscissors takedown, and a hurricanrana for a one count broken by Marshall! Eventually, Massaro hits Hall with a flying elbow drop for a three count. Winners: Ashley Massaro and Layla El
Not up to the usual SmackDown Diva Standard as of late, BUT as evident to anyone who’s been watching these girls, you’ll certainly be glad to see them trying for something a bit more complicated rather than random move after random move. They actually tried to make an interesting match. So while there was a fair few botched moves, I just can’t help but applaud the fact that these girls are trying to improve. Three out of Ten. Diva Standards. It’s pretty odd to see the girls not in some stupid novelty match this close to Christmas. Aren’t they usually in a Santa’s Concubine Contest or something?
Michael Cole interviews some guy called Vladimir Kozlov. Kozlov says some stuff, but I don’t understand it.
Up next: Kane and Taker vs. Booker and Finlay.
Commercials.
Main Event: King Booker and Finlay w/ Queen Sharmell vs. Kane and The Undertaker
Booker and Taker start off. Booker gets shots to Taker in the corner, but Taker sends Booker into the corner and gets shots of his own in. Taker works the arm of Booker and gets a short arm shoulder block, before lifting Booker up high in his armbar. Taker goes up top for the old school, and nails it (early in the match for that, isn’t it?). Finlay comes in but Taker gets the upperhand, and goes to hit Finlay with the old school but Booker stops him and nails a top rope superplex. Booker gets a two count. Finlay in. Finlay with elbows to Taker, uppercut and Finlay irish whips Taker, but Taker comes back with a running DDT. Kane in. Kane with punches to Booker and Finlay; clotheslines in the corner to Finlay then Booker. Kane sideslams Booker for a two count, broken by Finlay. Stereo big boots to Booker and Finlay, the pair escape the ring before the Brothers can hit their chokeslams.
Commercials.
We’re back, and Kane is taking it to Booker in the corner. Kane chokes Booker with his foot. Kane sets Booker on the apron and elbows him, and Taker gets a leg drop. Kane gets a two count on Booker. Kane with a suplex for a two count, again broken by Finlay. Taker tagged in. Booker gets an eye poke to Taker and tags out to Finlay. Finlay with uppercuts to Taker, but runs into a big boot. Taker gets the snake eyes on Finlay and big boots him down. Booker superkicks Taker in the outside, before Finlay tags out to Booker. Apparently, Kane is the legal man, I must’ve blanked out for a moment. Kane goes up top but jumps off into a kick by Booker! Booker with the hook kick to Kane, before Finlay is tagged in. Finlay with the thump drop for a two count. On the outside, Booker keeps Taker down with a steel chair shot! Kane comes off the ropes into a clothesline by Finlay! Booker in with a crescent kick to Kane for a two count. Finlay low blows Taker and hits him with the shillelagh while Sharmell distracts the referee! Finlay tagged back in. Booker and Kane get double clotheslines, while Taker big boots Finlay on the outside! Taker and Finlay tagged in. Taker with rights to Booker and Finlay; clotheslines in the corner to both opponents by Taker, and Taker goes for the double chokeslam but Finlay and Booker low blow Taker! Kane and Taker with stereo chokeslams! Tombstone to Finlay for the three count!
Winners: Kane and The Undertaker
Post match, Kane and Taker do their posing as SmackDown fades to black. These four actually work pretty well together, and this was a fun match. Six out of Ten.
So, tonight’s episode comes in with…
Batista vs. Santa: -3/10
Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero: 7/10
Matt Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro: 6/10
Massaro and El vs. Marshall and Hall: 3/10
King Booker and Finlay vs. Kane and Undertaker: 6/10
SmackDown 22/12/06: 19/50
The Inside Pulse
You’ve got three good matches here, one minus match that could’ve been quite good given, I’m guessing maybe seven minutes? It wasn’t a squash match because Batista didn’t dominate, but rated so low because of its stupidity and short time. I’d like to see a rematch between Sylvan and Batista next week. Even the Divas match, while botched, was quite good for what most of the participants are capable of (apart from Jillian Hall, who we all know is the next Trish Stratus – once she’s given a personality).
Oh well. Until next week, make sure you do have a fantastic Christmas and do spend it with the people you love. Or, pig out and play with your presents (I know I’ll be doing that). Merry Christmas everyone!
