Jenn’s transformation from typical cheerleader to angry, “I’m a strong woman” drunk was almost as good as Britney “the pop years” Spears to Britney “popped out 2 kids and let herself go” Spears.
Jenn had a collapse. Sure she’s angry. Sure she’s got a strong personality. And she even predicted, like Miss Cleo, that she and Tyrie would clash. It’s almost as if she was setting up the volley for him to just slam down and volley back to her. Her plan is working out perfectly.
All she needed was alcohol.
(Scene 1: Enter alcohol)
Jenn decided that Tyrie is the walking clone of her former asshole boyfriend Doyle. Ok, first of all, what kind of name is Doyle. Secondly, Jenn is beyond a drama queen because she can’t let it go and needs to fuel her fire. Fuel of choice? Probably tequila.
She’s certainly not the high society soap opera alcoholic who pours their 40 year aged scotch from a Waterford crystal decanteur…oh, no. Not our precious Jenn. She’s walking down the street with her 40oz. in a paper bag. Nice, Jenn. Just one step away from being homeless. She completely explodes on Tyrie on the party bus and accuses him of being the “big black guy”. Pretty observant of her. And she exits the bus and goes out sans “big black guy” and proceeds to get hammered.
As she wakes up to eyes rolling and shaking heads, she realizes that she’s out of control and needs to calm down. Good luck with that. She sure is giving Ruthie from Real World Hawaii a run for her money, huh?
Meanwhile, Brooke turns into Dr. Phil and psychoanalyzes her entire drinking metamorphasis. And Davis compares her to his old boss who was an alcoholic. Don’t be shy, Davis. Tell it like it is. After all, Jenn does.
Did I forget to mention that the guys have all now formed a frat? I believe I did. And the best part about the frat? Davis is not allowed in. I can just picture the sign above the treehouse when they gather for their meetings like a scene from The Little Rascals, “No Girlz Allowed… And No Gayz”. They initially banded together after the girls (or girlz) decided that they want to get a puppy. Whose brilliant idea was this? The producers? “Uh… Surreal Life had a 3 legged dog… Osbournes had 8…so can we!” And what exactly happens to the dog when the show ends in a few weeks? So poor Davis is an outcast like Ugly Betty. But I think that he’ll get the girls together and form his own sorority of drunks. What did they call it back in the day? IOTA TAPPA KEG or something? I picture them sitting around getting drunk, having pillow fights and singing “Look at me I’m big black Tyrie”. Like, gag me with a spoon!
