Counterfeit Pennies Year-End Special: BEST and WORST of 2006

Columns

There is so much to get to this year, since there were numerous twists and turns in the world of professional wrestling in 2006. See for yourself below, and enjoy this Pulse Wrestling exclusive!

2006’s BEST”¦

1. Best Raw Performance : Tie — Edge and John Cena. Overexposed as Cena may be right now, the big story for me this year was his feud with Edge that began last January at New Year’s Revolution, when Edge finally arrived as WWE Champion at Cena’s expense following the Elimination Chamber match. The feud between Edge and Cena produced some really great moments — including (but not limited to) Edge costing Cena the title vs. RVD at ECW One Night Stand, Edge being thrown into the water on an episode of Raw, Cena trash-talking Lita left and right to the delight of the fans, and of course, the array of matches they had with each other over this past year. All of these things combined make for a pretty solid main event feud, and the chemistry between the two both in promos and in the ring made for great television, good sports entertainment, and even decent wrestling. Throw in Edge and Lita’s highly touted (and highly rated) live sex celebration and Cena’s ability to split the fans into two frenzied factions (I mean, really, you really do either love him or hate him), and you have all of the trappings of solid performances across the board for these two competitors.

2. Best SmackDown! Performance : JBL as Color Commentator. I would not normally relegate an award like this to a retired wrestler, but by making the smooth transition from wrestling god to color commentating legend, JBL deserves kudos for his announcing efforts. JBL not only injected life into SmackDown!, his wit and knowledge coupled with a positive outlook on things really lifted the superstars he was discussing to new heights. As Booker T transitioned to King Bookah, it was JBL who was there to hail the King and pump up his credibility as King and eventually as World Champion. It is JBL who demolishes the Miz and despises the Boogeyman on a weekly basis, and his strong stances on both SmackDown! competitors made for ultra-entertaining remarks when the two squared off against each other recently. JBL has also done wonders for Michael Cole, who no longer has angry tirades on Byte This or on Sirius Satellite Radio for that matter (hmm, I wonder who the bad influence was there). For all those reasons stated above, JBL is SmackDown!’s best announcer, lobbyist, and all-around performer.

3. Best ECW Performance : The Big Show. The Big Show may not have been impressive to many people in the IWC, but to me he was exactly what ECW needed following the RVD debacle. Before his “retirement”, Big Show had really become a WWE Team Player, and he was wrestling through numerous injuries to keep ECW afloat while everything else seemed to collapse or just not work out as well as it could have (C.M. Punk and Matt Striker notwithstanding, of course). He carried the brand as well as he could have with what he was given to work with, and he even passed the torch by letting Lashley get the better of him via the Body Slam of all things (hey, it’s not Show’s fault Lashley could barely lift him, thereby deflating much of the dramatic effect, but still”¦) I give props to the Big Show for playing hurt, and even though his performance was not perfect by any means, it certainly had guts and chutzpah.

4. Best TNA Performance : Tie — Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle. The buzz created in TNA to close out 2006 has everything to do with being home to the hottest feud in wrestling right now. Joe and Angle have really stepped up their intensity levels as of late, and they even have the inside track on many lists for 2006’s Match of the Year, thanks to their return bout at Turning Point. Seriously, is there any other realistic match you’d rather see right now?

5. Best use of a redneck gimmick by an Asian cruiserweight wrestler: Jimmy Wayne Yang. Not only has Jimmy Wayne Yang shown that he can wrestle in the ring, he also adds a hilarious dimension to JBL’s commentary on SmackDown! I watch Jimmy Wayne’s matches not only for his athletic ability, but for the hootin’ and hollarin’ that gets a frustrated JBL to talk about how he’s never seen rednecks like JWY. I can only hope Jimmy Wayne continues to grow and prosper in WWE, the same way Tajiri took off after being paired with Commissioner William Regal all those years ago.

6. Best crowd-pleasing chant by a wrestler making the most of what he’s got : Eric Young. Of course, I am referring to the chant that has riled up the TNA crowd more than anything else on the mid-card: “DON’T FIRE ERIC!” I give TNA and Eric Young credit for running with this gimmick as long as they have, and I truly believe “DON’T FIRE ERIC!” has been catapulted into the lexicon of unforgettable crowd-pleasers that we’ve been blessed with as wrestling fans over the past few years “¦ “What?” You heard what I said”¦

7. Best use of a prop for vignettes : Matt Striker — the chalkboard. Striker’s weekly ramblings on ECW are reminiscent of “The Genius” Lenny Poffo and Chris “Harvard” Nowinski in a very good way. However, it is his use of the chalkboard that really holds this thing together, along with the argyle ring attire, of course. The chalkboard serves two functions, 1) It reminds us where Striker came from in real life, which is compelling in its own right; and 2) It can be used to both accentuate Striker’s obnoxiousness and to put him in his place when the good guys get in his face (see: John Cena; see also: The Sandman). Either way, I chalk this one up to good planning and good execution, along with near-perfect penmanship!

8. Best use of a WWE Diva to accentuate the devastatingly devious behavior of a Samoan bulldozer : Maria vs. Umaga. I know that we have seen it all when it comes to the women in WWE, from Linda McMahon being relegated to a drugged up wife in a wheelchair to Mae Young “tadpoling” Mark Henry, but when Maria was ordered to wrestle Umaga on Raw, the subsequent carnage had me marking out like crazy. Maria took some bumps that could have really damaged her had the timing not been perfect, and for her to step up to endure the brute punishment of being in the ring with Umaga, well, she is far braver than this columnist. This cemented Umaga’s place as a true monster heel, and gave the fans even more of a reason to disdain him as he embarks on his feud with John Cena to close out the year and to kick off 2007.

9. Best main event tag team match that occurred at exactly the right moment for an up and coming brand: A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels vs. LAX in an Ultimate X match at TNA Bound for Glory. This was the perfect moment (just before heading to Prime Time) for TNA to show off one of their most innovative matches that truly offers something different for the pro wrestling fan. The feud between these factions had been getting close to its boiling point, and TNA needed its main event match at Bound for Glory to be more than just special. They needed something spectacular here so that the pendulum of momentum could keep swinging in their direction, and spectacular is with they got from all involved in this match.

10. Best use of old footage to embarrass the Chairman of the Board: DX takes over Raw and airs Vince McMahon’s horrendous videotaped performance of “Stand Back”. Sure, D-Generation X has been pulling pranks forever, but to see WWE take advantage of this piece of classic footage was hysterical and priceless. The best part of the entire video was seeing Hulk Hogan — shrouded in red and yellow of course — playing “guitar” in the background. And people wonder why WWE is struggling to expand its reach into the music business.

2006’s WORST”¦

1. Worst Raw Performance : Kevin Federline. This is the first time that this award as been a total no-brainer. I never thought I’d ever be forced by WWE Creative to utter these words, but Kevin Federline is a poor man’s David Arquette! At the very least, I could understand that WCW was promoting a wrestling movie — Ready to Rumble — at the time of Mr. Courtney Cox’ brief stint in pro wrestling, though of course giving him the Big Gold Belt was completely indefensible and unforgivable. With all of that said, WWE should know better here, especially considering that as much as I like TNA, the competition for Vince and Company is a long way’s away from being a true rival that can match up pound for pound and dollar for dollar. K-Fed has the title of “America’s Most Hated” for a reason, and as much as that may play into the hands of a heel character in wrestling, this move a) alienates current fans, b) distracts John Cena from paying attention to real competition by putting him in the precarious position of juggling K-Fed / Nitro / Melina with Umaga / Estrrrrrrrada on top of building angles with the folks on SmackDown!; and c) prevents some more worthy competitors in the mid-card from getting much-needed face time. The only quasi-benefit here is where Nitro and Melina are concerned, since they are getting some face time in with the Champ during this storyline. That also begs the question of whether or not Nitro and Melina are deserving of this time, but at least I can see the idea of progression where that is concerned.

Ultimately, the bottom line is this: K-Fed is not only Raw’s worst performer of 2006, he’s also wrestling’s (and the pop culture world’s) biggest waste of time.

2. Worst SmackDown! Performance : Vickie Guerrero. I have held my tongue on this matter out of respect for one of my favorite wrestlers of all-time, the late Eddie Guerrero. However, it has truly saddened, shocked, and appalled me that Vickie Guerrero has either created or was asked to create a wrestling persona that has bilked Eddie’s legacy in an incredibly tacky, undignified way. In addition, as much as I appreciated the intensity of the wrestling between Chavito and Rey Mysterio during their bevy of matches that culminated in the infamous “I Quit” bout where Rey took chair shot after chair shot before going on the shelf, it was the kind of storyline that I never really felt quite comfortable with. I tried time and time again to forget that Eddie’s name was being pimped to promote this angle because I have always liked Chavo and Ray, and honestly why would any of us have anything against Vickie, who suffered such a hard loss with Eddie’s passing?

And then I think to myself, THAT’S THE PROBLEM!

Why would WWE, Chavo, and even Vickie herself put her in this position as a heel character who the fans can’t possibly like or accept? Why do they want us to think of her as an underhanded vixen who has turned on all of Eddie’s closest friends? Why does Vickie need to anger the fans and lie, cheat, and steal, when all we want is to cheer for her and for her to heal?

I understand that perhaps putting Vickie on the road and pairing her with Chavo is something Eddie himself may not have a problem with, and perhaps being on the road helps Vickie in ways we can only imagine. But maybe instead of promulgating angles where Vickie plays the villain or any wrestling character where perceptions are not reality, WWE could have given Vickie Guerrero a prominent role that would have been much more helpful. She could have been an ambassador for all of those new wellness policies, or perhaps a speaker to athletes and aspiring wrestlers to warn them of the dangers and pitfalls of trying to get a fabricated, short-lived competitive edge.

Vickie Guerrero could have been a great story. Instead, she’s relegated to a lingering and unfathomably tasteless storyline on SmackDown!.

3. Worst ECW Performance : RVD. I understand that ECW has long been known as part of the counter-culture, made up of characters that engage in all sorts of mischievous activities. However, there is a time and a place for everything, and for RVD the timing of his headline-grabbing arrest for illegal drug possession was absolutely horrendous for both he and the ECW brand. To make matters worse, RVD got caught up in his legal issues at a time where he was both the ECW and WWE Champion, and so the obvious course of action for Vince McMahon and Company was to punish him by stripping him of his titles, suspending him, and giving his main event push the ultimate heave-ho.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not questioning RVD’s in-ring performance here, but at the same time he must be held accountable for striking a severe blow to the course of ECW in 2006. As a result of the forced shuffling of the ECW deck, the beginning of Big Show’s title reign seemed to be a little forced, and by losing their top star ECW definitely lost a step or two despite Big Show’s valiant effort to carry the brand’s main event matches without true compelling competition on his shoulders. Who knows what Heyman’s real plans were for ECW before RVD and Sabu not only got into trouble but found themselves in Vince’s doghouse, and it’s a shame that things turned out the way they did for Paul following an admittedly awful December to Dismember.

4. Worst TNA Performance : Tie — Larry Zbyszko and Kevin Nash. I am going to be short and sweet on this one. These two have been around the game for a very long time, and yet they have managed to stoop to new lows. The worse of the two evils is probably Nash because of one important distinction: While Zbyszko was simply wasting time as a corrupt, indignant, toupee-wearing executive, does anyone really think that Kevin Nash is actually trying to put over Paparazzi Productions and the X Division in general? Or is this a case of an injured, weary, and increasingly corny / unfunny old-timer desperately trying to stay in the spotlight at the expense of the young up and comers around him? I guess I am just not down with trite bathroom humor these days”¦

5. Worst use of an Elimination Chamber: December to Dismember. For the only match on the card that the fans were aware of on more than a moment’s notice, the Extreme Elimination Chamber at ECW’s December to Dismember was riddled with issues even before the opening bell sounded. First and foremost, any match where Sabu is replaced with Hardcore Holly creates a serious downgrade. Second, everyone knew going in that Lashley was going to prevail, but it would have been nice to see C.M. Punk make a nice little run if for no other reason than to get the fans to at least THINK he could pull off an upset. Of course, that didn’t happen, and when Punk was ousted from the match we were left with ZERO unpredictability (Test and Holly were not going to win and it’s way too soon for RVD to be entrusted with the title again). After all, who cares about extreme rules and intimidating steel structures when there is no fundamental rhyme or reason involved in the actual planning of the match?

6. Worst ambassador to a Canadian province : Sylvan. So let me get this straight: They broke up La Resistance for this, Rob Conway’s “Look at me” gimmick on Raw and Rene Dupree in disturbing white ring attire on ECW? With all of these WWE superstars making comebacks, where is The Mountie when you need him, anyway?

7. Worst fall from grace for a previously likeable albeit overdone character: Eugene. Once a fan-favorite who endeared himself to audiences as an entertaining mid-carder, things started going downhill for Eugene at ECW’s One Night Stand. Eugene was an easy target for The Sandman that night, and the Singapore Cane shots must have really afflicted Mr. Dinsmore. The problem with most gimmicks that languish in mid-card territory is that the novelty is bound to wear off at some point.

(Unless, of course, you are Scotty 2 Hotty, who somehow has managed to fly completely under the radar and still keep the W.O.R.M. alive along with some degree of harmless fan approval for SEVEN years and counting. Alas, I digress”¦)

Unfortunately for Eugene, being “special” as a heel will not translate into anything memorable or substantive until he loses the gimmick altogether, a la Gregory Helms.

8. Worst use of an undefeated streak that didn’t even exist in the first place: Mike “The Miz” Mizanin. Was there really any rhyme or reason for The Miz being undefeated all the way up until Armageddon aside from sparking irritability and annoyance whenever Miz opened his mouth and blabbered about his “spotless” record? Although, didn’t “The Miz” already and ironically have a WWE loss at the Armageddon PPV in December 2004 at the hands of Daniel Puder in a Dixie Dogfight match? Either way, all is right with the world now that The Boogeyman has wormed his way into my heart by beating the snot out of The Miz, who I will now refer to as The Blowhard Blogger, with all due respect to Steve Lombardi, of course…

9. Worst announcing team that still hasn’t grasped the idea of being quiet while wrestlers are cutting promos inside the ring : Mike Tenay and Don West. They have been professional wrestling broadcasters for years, yet the tandem of Mike Tenay and Don West still don’t know how to handle the big promos / skits / vignettes that hold the different angles and storylines together. As much as I love to sit down and enjoy an episode of TNA, the announcing team’s tendency to talk over talk — along with the quick MTV video-like camera changes, by the way — make it very hard to watch the show without experiencing vertigo during certain moments that I’d like to be able to concentrate on. This really needs to be addressed, because while TNA cannot compete with WWE when it comes to certain aspects of production values, they can at least make adjustments in areas that have nothing to do with budgeting or finances.

10. Worst rushed exit out of the wrestling business with very little buildup to a final match : Lita. This is compounded by the fact that Trish Stratus was afforded the time and the opportunity to have a graceful exit out of WWE by beating Lita in a solid match in her hometown for the WWE Women’s Championship. It does not bother me that Lita’s last match ended in a loss to Mickie James, especially since Mickie has really stepped up this year to become a pretty well-respected, hard-nose women’s wrestler. What irks me is that the buildup to this match could have been handled much better than it was starting with the amount of time that was allotted for promoting the whole shebang. Lita did have one standout promo on Raw where she admonished the fans and paid homage to herself (which is what a heel character should do), but considering what Lita has meant to the Women’s division over the years, it would have been nice to at least see one nicely produced montage in honor of Lita’s hard work and dedication to WWE. The easiest way for this to be done despite Lita’s heel status would have been for Edge to present the video to her as a parting gift, which could have then been spun off into Edge and Lita talking about how the fans don’t deserve her presence considering the way she was treated this past year or so.

No, we did not get a video tribute to Lita, nor did we get the chance to really stand up and say thank you one last time like we did for Trish. To me, that’s a total shame “¦

Special note: See below if you a) just can’t get enough, or b) would like to take a nostalgic look back at previous awards and bloopers:

Interested in previous editions of my year-end awards? Well, here’s the rundown:

BEST and WORST of 2004: Just how far has Eugene fallen in the past two years since winning Rookie of the Year? This was also the year Eddie Guerrero put forth SmackDown!’s Best Performance, Kurt Angle had his invitational against local jobbers, and Paul London and Billy Kidman had one hell of a feud.

BEST and WORST of 2003: Remember Maven? Perhaps for all of the wrong reasons”¦ In other Tough Enough news, whatever happened to Linda Miles anyway? (Yeah, I know some of you probably actually know the answer to this question, and that’s just phenomenal on your part, or just sad”¦) Oh, that’s right, this was also the year Eric Bischoff broke into the McMahon home to violate a helpless yet buxom Linda.

BEST and WORST of 2002: Was Shawn Michaels Summerslam comeback really that long ago? I also dub this the Year of the Matt Facts as well as the home to the worst angle of all time, which involved Triple H, Kane, and necrophilia”¦ The late, great Classy Freddie Blassie was also used in many of WWE’s PPV packages in 2002, while Al Wilson got it on with Dawn Marie and Nidia chewed a lot of gum. I guess there was that whole Hogan-Rock thing, too”¦

HARD SELLS AND CHEAP PLUGS!

We work year-round here at Pulse Wrestling, and we appreciate your ’round the clock love!

Alternate Reality by Vin Tastic is back with a look at the Women of Wrestling.

Check out Iain’s latest edition of Pulse Wrestling Answers.

Meanwhile, Pulse Glazer reviews and recaps Ring of Honor’s “Final Battle” 12/23/06, where you can find out what happened between Bryan Danielson and Homicide in the main event for the ROH Title.

Speaking of ROH, check out Aaron’s exclusive Pulse Wrestling interview with the aforementioned Bryan Danielson.

Matthew Michaels gives us the highly anticipated listing of nominees for the 2006 Pulse Wrestling Awards, which cover the time period from December 16, 2005 through December 15, 2006.

Bambi’s Make Movement column from 12.19.06 is a must-read as she offers her take on the value of Edge and the overexposure of WWE talent following last week’s Supersized episode of Raw.

Eric S. is the original Master of the Pimp Section, so feel free to peruse his archives if you want to take an intelligent and insightful look back at the year in wrestling.

Lastly, I just wanted to give a nod to the folks at Tailgate Crashers for providing some of the best sports commentary there is on the Web.

As always, you can drop me a line or two to tell me what you think by clicking on the Send Feedback link below.

A happy and safe holiday season to all “¦ PEACE! — CB

CB is an Editor for Pulse Wrestling and an original member of the Inside Pulse writing team covering the spectrum of pop culture including pro wrestling, sports, movies, music, radio and television.