The Impact Short Form, 12.28.06

Columns, Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

Well, there’s at least one wrestling show with original material this week. Too bad that it happens to be Impact. Too bad that it happens to be an Impact with a Something On A Pole Match. You ever wish for someone really, really famous to die so that you can do yet another obituary so that you have an excuse to pass this puppy up or at least delay the agony? Of course, the next person on that list is Saddam, and I’m certain that my column expressing great admiration for his achievements wouldn’t sit well with people this lovely holiday season. So maybe it’s better this way.

Oh, well, time to kill my brain cells…

Match Results:

Chris Sabin and James Storm over Christopher Daniels and Petey Williams (Pinfall, Storm pins Williams, Greco-Roman steel chair shot): Well, they kept the angle advancement to a minimum. The problem here is that they actually needed more angle advancement than they had (yes, I know, heresy, but I make the rules here). The last thing that Storm needed at this point was a tag match. He’s done singles before (okay, not well, but he’s still done it), so he knows how to manage. Him against Daniels would have been a great match and they still could have covered Daniels’ current mess with Sabin and Lynn. If they’re going to break up their tag team meal ticket, we should get something out of it.

The tag partners may be different, but the excitement still remains

Bobby Roode over Lance Hoyt (Pinfall, throw superplex): And it’s our Who The Fuck Cares match of the night. This is exactly the type of situation in which Russo usually shines, getting some spotlight to the midcarders. But he seems to be out of ideas. Killings goes Hollywood? Traci’s sleeping around with random Canadians on the roster? And he’s got Cornette to remind him that the statute of limitations on recycling is seven years too.

Just because you’re tall and from Dallas does not make you the Undertaker

Sting over Christian and Abyss, Non-Title Nightstick On A Pole Match (Sting uses nightstick on Christian): Russo’s sticking things on a pole again. Jarrett’s letting him do it. That would be nightmarish enough if the stick hadn’t fallen off the pole. Well, at least it wasn’t during Ultimate X this time. Yeesh.

They’re just trying to ugly up Christian enough for him to join the Obscured Mug Club

Angle Developments:

“Look, Teddy, I demand a match against the Under…oops, sorry, force of habit.”

Two And A Half On Two: So, it’s going to be the complete set of Brothers Dudley against Sheremetyevo. In that case, where do our favorite Puerto Ricans get a third? Konnan’s health is very bad right now, in case you haven’t been following the news. Is it time to pull the trigger and get Low Ki in there? Or do they want to avoid this option because ROH has been using it for a while now? Stay tuned, I guess.

After years of working with Sandman, you think he’d be used to this by now

It’s been their party piece ever since ROH’s 2004 Fulfill Rob Feinstein’s Fantasies Party

Join me after I get Smackdown downloaded and finished for a good old-fashioned Triple Threat covering the two clip shows and the propaganda abortion. Until then, let’s hope that I don’t have to do another obit.