The Chrononaut Chronicles – WWE 24/7: Legends Of Wrestling – Superstars of the ’80s, Part 3 (Iron Sheik & Andre The Giant)
– As always, our host/moderator is Jim Ross along with Dusty Rhodes, Pat Patterson, Michael “PS” Hayes, & Mike Graham on the panel.
– A video piece about the Iron Sheik kicks us off, with the voiceover noting that the Sheik’s arrival in the WWF was “perfectly timed” due to the Iranian hostage crisis. That’s an interesting choice of words.
– Clips of the Iron Sheik’s WWE Hall Of Fame induction speech from April 2, 2005, are shown as he rambles on and refuses to leave the podium despite his music playing. It’s hilarious and kinda sad at the same time.
– Everybody laughs as they agree that the Hall Of Fame acceptance was a classic Sheik moment and Graham says Sheik’s travel buddies in Florida were Haystacks Calhoun & Tex McKenzie, but nobody cares so Hayes mentions that Sheik was a bodyguard for the Shah and paid his dues when he came to the United States. A popup on the screen informs us that Sheik was an assistant coach for the ’72 & ’76 US Olympic Greco-Roman wrestling teams as Hayes adds that Sheik trained Kerry Von Erich and Graham tells a story about an 80-year-old man hitting Sheik with a chair during a match, but Sheik took the chairshot because he didn’t think the old man would really hit him. After getting sidetracked talking about Danny Hodge, JR credits Sheik for learning English and volunteering to help coach the US Olympic team, but the only thing he couldn’t overcome were his demons and Hayes brings up the Sheik’s routine with the Persian clubs.
– From WWF All Star Wrestling on March 28, 1979, Classy Freddie Blassie is with the Sheik (known here as “The Great Hossein”) as he swings the heavy Persian clubs while Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino on commentary discuss the strength and danger involved. Jobber Steve King tries to swing the clubs, but he can’t even do just one club so Blassie laughs at him and Hossein does it again before leaving the ring.
– Pat tells a story about Sheik arriving late from Toronto (Dusty asks if they fined him $5,000) and bringing half a gallon of Crown Royal for Pat, but dropped it in the parking lot and it broke. Dusty notes that if Sheik was in his prime today, he’d need bodyguards to make it to the ring and we see the famous clip of Sheik locking Bob Backlund in the Camel Clutch to win the WWF Championship on December 26, 1983, as JR contrasts the two men by pointing out the strongest substance Backlund ingested was a cold beer, but Sheik went far beyond that. Hayes suggests that since Sheik grew up in the conservative Iranian culture, he eagerly adopted the partying habits and culture of the ’70s when he came to America. Hayes tells a great story about being on probation while himself, his wife, and Jimmy Garvin were traveling with Sheik and picked up some “herbal medicine” along the way, but they ran into a DEA drug search on the highway so Hayes told his wife to throw the dope out the window since his probation was almost up and was retroactive. However, Sheik was in the backseat and kept catching it to bring it back in, so Hayes told Sheik he’d have to hold it if he wanted to keep it and instead of sticking it in his pants or boot, Sheik stuck it in the armrest which understandably made Hayes nervous when they were stopped. Hayes does a funny Sheik impression as he describes how the Sheik cut a “you friggin jabroni” promo on the cops explaining who they were and it actually worked since the cops recognized them and let them roll without searching the car. Hayes adds that even though some places in Georgia couldn’t sell beer on Sundays, Sheik got beer everywhere they went because he bugged people so much by pointing out that he was a former WWF Champion and Dusty notes that Sheik always draws that “former WWE Champuon” card like a weapon. That’s true, he even used it on the Jerry Springer Show and still uses it on the indy shows I’ve seen him on.
– From WWF Prime Time Wrestling on January 6, 1986, we get a classic Iron Sheik promo as he calls Mean Gene Okerlund an “intelligent Jew businessman” and states that he was the first “Iranian human being” to come to America and win the WWF Title from “Howdy Doody”, but claims Hulk Hogan double-crossed him to take the belt. Mean Gene mentions WWF Tag Team Champions Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake and Sheik thanks Okerlund for reminding him that he and Nikolai Volkoff were screwed out of those belts too as he says you never know what’s going to happen in 1986. Funny stuff, classic Sheik for sure.
– JR asks about the relationship between Sheik & Hogan because Sheik could be dangerous if he didn’t want to cooperate, but Pat says that Sheik was a man of his word and always did whatever he said he would. Pat talks about flying on Verne Gagne’s plane with the Sheik while chewing tobacco and drinking shots of Crown Royal, but Sheik got so drunk by the end he was drinking out of the spitting cup. Ewww. Hayes tells a story about Sheik failing a drug test and being called into Vince McMahon’s office, but when Vince told him the test came back “positive” Sheik celebrated because he thought it meant he passed and Vince had to explain it meant he failed. Everybody agrees that Sheik has a good heart, a wonderful family, and wasn’t afraid of anything as JR segues into our next Superstar of the ’80s by noting that this man’s drinking exploits were legendary around the world.
– After ads for New Year’s Revolution and the AWA DVD, a video piece on Andre The Giant describes him as the “one true giant” and a tremendous box-office attraction due to his combination of size and charisma.
– JR talks about making $25-$40 a night working for Bill Watts as a referee when a lady fan offered Jim $100 to take a Polaroid picture of Andre’s penis in the shower, but he was too scared to do it. Pat tells a story about getting drunk in Las Vegas with Andre and ribbing him, then sharing a room and waking up to find Andre making love to a woman, but Andre was so huge Pat couldn’t even see the woman. Dusty mentions that Andre loved playing ribs as he tells a story about Andre pissing on his leg in a New Orleans bordello full of the ugliest whores of all time and the American Dream had to walk around Bourbon Street “smelling like Giant piss”. Graham talks about being in a battle royal and getting tossed out, but his foot got caught in the ropes and he was hanging upside-down so Andre grabbed him by the foot with one hand, untied him, and dropped him on his head on the floor. What a sweet guy. We see some ancient Florida footage of Andre & Dusty (in a singlet!) as a tag team as Dusty brags about all the titles they won and Pat adds that all the girls wanted to “try” Andre. Hayes credits Andre with convincing Vince Sr. to bring the Fabulous Freebirds to the WWF and tells a story about the first night Andre worked as a backstage agent, as Hayes thought they were off that night and got wasted on beer and “medication” so Terry Gordy had to carry Michael into the building and Andre got mad at him despite being drunk himself. Graham & Dusty claim that Andre’s record was 156 beers in one sitting with bathroom breaks after each case and Pat explains that Andre would never drink before a long flight because he couldn’t fit in the airplane washrooms. Pat says that Andre passed out in front of a coffee shop at 3:30am one time and since he was so big, all Pat could do was take his wallet and his watch and leave him sleeping there. Dusty tells a funny story about a nightclub incident where Andre took a girl’s bra and climbed up on the roof of the club like King Kong to put the bra on a horse statue. That’s a pretty funny mental picture. Pat talks about Andre not liking the Rockers when they came to the WWF because of their reputation for causing trouble in other territories and mentions that Andre hated Big John Studd because Studd really did want to be the only giant, which I thought was just a storyline. Is it true, or are they still trying to work us 20 years later when both guys aren’t even alive?
– WrestleMania – Bodyslam Challenge: Andre The Giant vs. Big John Studd
March 31, 1985. We are thankfully joined in progress (I hate this match and have seen it about 6 million times) as Andre pounds Studd and kicks his leg, but Studd tries to fight back and Andre chops him in the corner. After a few more kicks to the leg, Andre bodyslams Studd to win the match and starts to throw Bobby Heenan’s $25,000 into the crowd until the Brain grabs the bag and runs off with it in a classic moment.
– Pat explains that the hotel bathrooms in Japan were small even for the regular-sized wrestlers and even moreso for Andre, so the Giant had to take a shit in the bathtub and JR quips that it’s a visual he’d like to forget as soon as possible. I just wonder what he did afterwards; scoop it into the toilet? Force it down the drain? Leave it for the maid to clean up? Inquiring minds want to know. Pat & Dusty admit that Andre was absolutely miserable to be around near the end of his run because he was in so much pain and Hayes brings up Andre’s assistant/friend Frenchy Bernard as Graham tells a story about Frenchy biting off a guy’s ear in a fight and keeping the ear for two weeks so he could show it to everybody. Goddamn I love the wrestling business. We finally get to WrestleMania III as JR recalls that after years of being a loveable “save the day” babyface character, Andre became an antagonist.
– From WWF Wrestling Challenge on February 17, 1987, it’s the famous Piper’s Pit with Hulk Hogan where Jesse Ventura brings out Andre, who is shockingly escorted by Bobby Heenan. Hogan is in total disbelief and Andre is stonefaced, but Heenan points out that for three years as World Champion, Hogan never offered Andre a title shot and claims he’s sick of it. Hogan grabs Andre by the shoulders and pleads with the Giant to tell him it’s not true, but Andre orders him to get his hands off and rips the Hulkster’s shirt and crucifix off as he challenges him to a WWF Title match at WrestleMania before leaving with the Brain. In a fantastic and apparently unplanned touch, a drop of blood trickles down Hogan’s chest as he weeps on his knees. This is an amazing segment even today with believable performances from everyone involved and a logical storyline since everything Heenan said was true, and it led to the biggest match of all time at WMIII. I hate Hogan and was never the biggest Andre fan, but it still sends chills down my spine whenever I see it and this gets my vote as Best Heel Turn Ever.
– Everybody agrees they never thought the Hogan/Andre match would happen and marvel at the massive crowd it drew for WMIII as Pat confirms that even nine months earlier, he and Vince didn’t think it could take place. Pat repeats the tale that they weren’t sure if Andre would cooperate because he was moody, which I thought was just the usual Hogan Horseshit but maybe it’s true? Pat credits Heenan with helping Andre’s heel heat and states that the Giant liked the Brain as we see clips from WMIII and Pat comments on the tremendous crowd reactions. JR wonders if the huge crowd and mainstream press benefited the entire wrestling business, not just the WWF, and Dusty talks about “going mainstream” being the goal of every wrestling promoter as he explains his term “Yellowfinger”: when Dusty saw Hogan live the first time from backstage during his WWF run and looked out to the crowd, he saw a sea of yellow foam fingers and realized the game had changed into a big-time marketing enterprise. Pat claims that he had friends in the business from different territories calling him after WMIII to tell him everybody was talking about the 93,000 fans they drew, but Graham makes a great point that after seeing such a massive crowd in the big beautiful Silverdome, nobody wanted to watch smaller promotions anymore because they were in smaller venues without all the glitz and glamour of the WWF, and it led to the demise of the territorial system. I’ve never heard that specific theory, I’m sure there were other factors too, but it makes sense to me.
Of course, nobody’s picking up that hot potato and we immediately move on as Hayes mentions that the other WMIII match he heard as much about in the business at the time was Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage and JR calls it a great match (Dusty chimes in with “Decent match”), but notes that Andre/Hogan drew the house. Pat adds credence to Graham’s theory by pointing out how the WWF moved from doing TV in smaller buildings to big arenas with fancy production and made fans sit up and think the WWF was “big-time wrestling”. Dusty suggests that Hogan/Andre at WMIII led directly to everything the business is about today and JR brings up the Shea Stadium show on August 9, 1980, as Graham explains that you have to have the great matches to go along with the names that draw the fans. Hayes discusses a Mid-South Superdome card from August 2, 1980, and flat-out says that the Andre/Hogan match there “sucked” and got booed out of the building as he questions who would have thought that match a few years later with reversed roles would be the defining moment of the industry, but JR responds that it was a matter of timing and chemistry. JR wonders if Hogan or Andre was the bigger star and Dusty nominates himself with a straight face while everyone else agrees Hogan was, although Hayes suggests that Hogan might not have been able to go mainstream if Andre hadn’t gone mainstream first.
Hayes tries to regurgitate the “passing the torch” Hogan Horseshit about WMIII, but Pat states that the Hulkster was already the man and adds it doesn’t matter that Andre “could have” killed Hulkamania by being uncooperative because the fact is he didn’t. Thank you Pat. Hayes gets Pat to admit that the WMIII payoff was pretty good and JR claims it’s been equaled since due to PPV, but Dusty notes that it’s a different era and Hayes seems testy as he warns Dusty not to “get hot”. I was wondering how many episodes we could go before the egos truly collided and I think it almost happened there. Pat confirms that Hogan treated Andre very respectfully outside the ring and talks about how Andre loved the attention in public when he first started out, but by the end he was sick of it and just wanted to be left alone in bars and airports. Graham, Hayes, & Dusty all laugh it up because a Giant can’t hide, which is what always made Andre’s story sad to me but apparently it was funny to these guys. Pat stays serious though and claims that Andre turned down autograph requests from Michael Jackson’s parents and a famous actor Pat can’t recall, but gave one to comedian Alan King because King asked Pat rather than bothering Andre. JR concludes that Andre was a unique individual as he thanks the panel for appearing and us for watching.
Afterthoughts: Probably the best of the episodes I’ve seen so far (I missed “Stars of the ’80s, Pt. 1”) since the two subjects had very interesting stories outside the ring and the panel had some good tales about them. While the Sheik’s segment was funny, the Andre segment provided some food for discussion as it raised some issues I hadn’t considered, such as WMIII specifically killing off territories and Andre breaking ground for Hogan to become a mainstream superstar. I’m not saying I agree with those theories, but they have some credibility and are worth considering. I still enjoy Graham speaking his mind and Hayes being somewhat of a shit-disturber, but Dusty kinda comes across as trying to mold his comments into something that will help him keep his job in WWE and Pat is just there to provide insight into the behind-the-scenes of the ’80s WWF while being talked over and interrupted by the others. It’s a fascinating program on so many levels and I can’t recommend it enough if you’re interested in the personalities of the legends in Our Great Sport.
