The 10th Annual Top 50 – Part 3

Part 1

---

Part 2

---

Feedback

---

The rundown so far, from #50 to #11…

50/ HARDCORE HOLLY
49/ STING
48/ HERNANDEZ
47/ ERIC YOUNG
46/ JAY LETHAL
45/ SONJAY DUTT
44/ COLT COBANA
43/ RODERICK STRONG
42/ SABU
41/ GREGORY HELMS
40/ MICKIE JAMES
39/ BATISTA
38/ TRISH STRATUS
37/ CHRIS SABIN
36/ SENSHI
35/ MATT HARDY
34/ RANDY ORTON
33/ KEN KENNEDY
32/ JEFF HARDY
31/ RIC FLAIR
30/ BRIAN KENDRICK
29/ AUSTIN ARIES
28/ PAUL LONDON
27/ JOHNNY NITRO
26/ BOBBY LASHLEY
25/ JEFF JARRETT
24/ NIGEL MCGUINNESS
23/ C.M. PUNK
22/ WILLIAM REGAL AND WILLIAM REGAL’S PENIS
21/ ALEX SHELLEY
20/ THE UNDERTAKER
19/ CHRIS BENOIT
18/ RHINO
17/ SHAWN MICHAELS
16/ REY MYSTERIO
15/ JOHN CENA
14/ THE BIG SHOW
13/ ABYSS
12/ ROB VAN DAM
11/ CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

---

And now, the almighty top ten!

NUMBER 10 – CHRISTIAN CAGE
Last year’s #10

What we said last time: “no matter how much of a highlight he was on RAW during the spring this year, he practically never wins and has achieved precious little of note in-ring in the last year.”

Ross: How a year and a change of scenery can alter everything – you’ve got to give the man credit for seeing the writing on the wall and then doing something about it other than grousing and bitching – you’ve got to respect the fact that he got off his arse and went to TNA where he could actually become a credible top line guy and progress would be made by all rather than sticking with WWE but whining about not being able to break the glass ceiling and becoming so irritating that they fired him. He’s won a World Title and held it for 4 months. He has hardly been beaten all year and yes, he did lose his passion for a few months in there but the heel turn seems to put him on a much more even keel that he can work with. A return to the ‘E over the next two years seems a great idea, especially since a ready made batch of programs with Cena and Edge on RAW are available AND the crowd, with a little bit of pre-packaged assistance, are very likely to go for him as a credible top liner. Come on, you love it too.

Iain: In some ways it seems like for all the impressive things Christian has accomplished in the last year-and-a-bit, somebody has quickly come along to surpass him. He was going to be a great foil for John Cena to play off of, yet Chris Jericho stole his thunder. He was making himself into a genuine contender for a main event heel push, yet Edge got it and took it further than he would have. He was the big new signing that was going to put TNA on the map, yet it was Kurt Angle that really made people sit up and take notice. He was the fan’s choice to inherit the title and run with it, yet they quickly switched their allegiance to Samoa Joe instead. He thought he had escaped the tactics of an unappreciative WWE, yet they launched a lawsuit against the good name of Captain Charisma. Hell, he didn’t even manage to complete his protracted feud with Sting without Abyss superseding him. For every advance he made, other developments countered in kind, nullifying much of his development and leaving him at #10 for the second year in a row. Being in the Top 10 is nothing to be sneezed at, however, and neither is the fine body of work that Christian has produced in TNA this year. Outside of the holy trinity of Styles, Daniels and Joe, and now the expected excellence of Angle, he was the only person in the promotion to put on a genuine MOTYC in his stellar fight against Rhino in the Six Sides of Steel. That was the watermark of his year, with actions speaking louder than words to remind everyone just how he rolls. Now back in his role as a cult heel with his Problem Solver (please don’t sue!) at his side, 2007 will be a very interesting year indeed for Ontario’s finest.

NUMBER 9 – TRIPLE H
Last year’s #5

What we said last time: “The title scene will certainly be welcoming Hunter at some point, particularly since he has never fought John Cena before. Then there’s WrestleMania XXII, with defeats in the previous two events perhaps pointing to a more successful outcome this time around.”

Iain: Stephanie – “Hunter, you’re going to wear these lovely furry boots at WrestleMania and tap out to Cena’s stupid submission hug.”

HHH – “Yes, dear.”

Stephanie – “Hunter, you’re going to reunite DX and then mess around with my dad for a while, okay?”

HHH – “Yes, dear.”

Stephanie – “Hunter, we’re just going to keep DX together and have you beat everyone since there’s nothing much else for you to do and, besides, I’ve got a thing for bad boys.”

HHH – “Yes, dear.”

It’s not so hard to believe that’s how booking meetings in WWE go nowadays. It’s a far cry from the dark days of 2002, when it was easier to imagine Tripper sitting in a Dr Claw style chair, cackling away as he christened a fresh batch of Chris Jericho action figures with his sledgehammer. Nowadays, judging by flabby physique, he has reached that marvelous stage in life when a man will just go along anything if it means a bit of peace and quiet, a big dinner and possibly a couple of minutes of fondling. Sure, it’s only a matter of time before he realises that, technically, he hasn’t been WWE Champion for around five years now and we’re forced to endure all the same boring promos and another new song by that delightful Lemmy fella but when that day comes Trip will remain as steady a performer as he has been this year. From the King of Kings who did his best to put over Cena to the comedian with good timing and the ability to remove boobs from clothing (and not just his own (or Flair’s)), he’s put in a damn decent showing this year. Sure, he’s no Jarrett, but who could possibly hope to be?

Ross: I’d like to be the person to, at this point, observe that Hunter has managed to keep his grubby mitts off a World Title for nearly two whole years now. This, in and of itself, is worthy of a moment of thought and congratulation. What is even more shocking is that we now find ourselves in a situation where many of us feel that Hunter with the strap around his waist again would be a very good thing indeed. Given how the top line on RAW looks these days, Tripper leaving the big dance with the big title is pretty much the lesser of all evils unless Bret Hart makes a miraculous recovery or unless Kurt freaks everyone at TNA out enough and threatens suicide so that they release him, then he can win the Royal Rumble and beat OOOOmaga at ‘Mania for the stupid spinny belt, which can then have a replica Gold Medal put into the stupid spinny part. Back to Hunter – it seems we’re back to “I’m not jobbing” again, since I can’t recall many/any matches where Trips has laid down for anyone else, usually catching a beatdown if needs be but making his own save with his heavy-duty cock extension. I don’t really mind this time around, since he absolutely *should* have been able to kick the crap out of the McMahons, absolutely *should* have been able to kick the crap out of the Spirit Squad. Now that they’re in there with a couple of prats who actually do mean something already in the bigger picture and they’re selling a bit. Not a lot, but they’re giving them something at
least. Hunter’s been very entertaining on the microphone and in skits, he’s been more than adequate in the ring, heaving Cena to a presentable and incredibly heated main event at Mania and he’s got a lovely fur coat to go with his Evian bottle. What a year – bring on 2007 and maybe he’ll get to dress up as a Furby for WM23.

NUMBER 8 – HOMICIDE
*New Entry*

Ross: I don’t know what that noise he makes at the end of interviews is, but I want one. I also want a Homicide. Ideally in midget form, someone who can run around the house, bring me beer when I need it and do the Gringo Killa to anyone who displeases me. Let’s wheel it back in and point out the bloody obvious – he’s won the ROH title, which is a major deal in and of itself given how few people get their mitts on that particular piece of upholstery, he’s also filled the role of workhorse on the hottest team in American wrestling today, LAX, and bagged some gold to show for it, along with an exceptional couple of matches with Styles and Daniels in a cage and with a big wonky X above their head. Love the finisher, love the workrate, and love the fact that he’s in the public eye – more please.

Iain: And they said territories were dead. Homicide, the TNA version, spent 2006 establishing the new LAX stable and succeeded so damn well that they quickly became the hottest act in the company. Time will tell if TNA management finally flip out and ‘do a Hollywood Blondes’ on them in their eternal quest to make the people rally behind who they are supposed to rally behind. If they do then they are officially worthless because, aside from the hype of Angle’s arrival, the only reason for any sensible person to watch Impact this year has been the antics of LAX. Konnan handles the talking, Hernandez handles both the punching and throwing of stuff, and Homicide handles all the tricky bits in the middle. He’s the glue that holds it all together, a shamefully underappreciated VIP for the promotion, and he’s even stopped trying to kill cops in order to kill gringos instead. Delightful. Meanwhile, Homicide, the ROH version, managed to pull off the beginning, middle and end of a year-long storyline with aplomb. When was the last time that happened? From the frighteningly funny fights with Colt Cabana, through the scintillating war with CZW invaders, all the while matching none other than Jim Cornette verbal blow for verbal blow in their war of words, he finally managed to win perhaps the most genuine accomplishment in professional wrestling today – the ROH Championship. People once thought that Rey Mysterio could never make it in WWE on account of his size. Should they be thinking the same thing about Homicide?

NUMBER 7 – BRYAN DANIELSON
*New Entry*

Iain: Eddie’s dead, Kurt’s gone crazy, Malenko’s retired, Jericho’s packed it in, Benoit’s getting on a bit… good thing we’ve got this guy around to fill the requisite wrestling general role in the future, isn’t it? Danielson has had another exceptional year in 2006, accumulating top-notch match after high-quality bout after super-fun contest against the likes of KENTA, Homicide and even Kamala. That he did this whilst battling immense pain from a serious shoulder surgery for several months without letting up on his grueling schedule or shirking away from 60-minute matches speaks volumes about the passion and the pride of this man. Hell, he even managed to find the time to do an interview with us. There’s not much more to be said other than making the appropriate noises, so here goes – “Oooh!” “Bloody hell!” “JESUSHCHRIST!” “Oh – awesome!” “JARR-ETT!” And so it goes.

Ross: I really can’t add much more to that but to echo that it simply comes down to outstanding performance after outstanding performance making this pick a no-brainer. It’s only the size of the stage he performs on that prevents him from reaching the very peak but he doesn’t seem like a particularly “main stage” kinda guy to me. Like we said about Samoa Joe a year ago – stay where you are!

NUMBER 6 – A.J. STYLES
Last year’s #1

What we said last time: “combines the storytelling ability of your Kurt Angles with the smooth delivery of a Chris Benoit and, when mixed in with a generous portion of being the underdog who you just can’t root against, you’ve got a superb combination for a winner”

Ross: The big drop off the top spot for a guy who seemed stuck in neutral for the whole year. When you’re AJ Styles and in neutral, you’re still miles ahead of everyone else, but what could have been? To be honest, there’s not much else you can do with the lad other than put the big belt on him and Lord knows that Jarrett and Sting needed the cherries on their respective cakes. He’s found some fun and games to keep him occupied with the X Division and the Tag Titles, enough to mean that he’s had an “on paper” good year, as well as the ever present in-ring good year that we’ll expect from the fella until he retires but what next for AJ? It seems they’re trying to turn him heel again, and I can’t help but feel it’s just because they’ve got nothing else to do. These are the heel turns that always feel and always come from Russo – no purpose, all result oriented. It won’t take because the guy is likeable and the guy is loved by the TNA faithful and rightly so. That said I’m itching to see him finally cash in his chips, take a wander up to Connecticut and engage in much frivolity with CM Punk. He’d make a good opponent for Edge too.

Iain: The year started with the question “What can A.J. do now?” and ended with the question “Will people boo A.J.?” The first answer was, quite obviously, “plenty”. The second answer is irrelevant. Styles had his usual year of stellar matches, many of which involved Christopher Daniels as per usual, and teased a return to the X Division before embarking on a heel turn. Some people seem to think that it is bound for failure but since nobody in TNA other than Lord Jarrett is really a heel anyway it doesn’t actually matter. If Styles ‘succeeds’ as a heel in the traditional sense of the word then great, job done. If not, then at least he will have gotten some much-needed extra characterisation to keep him in good stead for the future. Regardless of what happens it will still involve some fantastic matches (Styles vs. Angle, please) that feature a lot of running, jumping, spinning, twirling, flipping and yodeling. S’good, s’good.

NUMBER 5 – EDGE
Last year’s #19

What we said last time: ”For years, Edge has been the chosen one that has never actually been chosen by anyone and it is rapidly becoming apparent that it may never happen at all.”

Iain: The ‘Smiliest Canadian in the Land’ used to be the only person left in the wrestling business to have a proper song for his entrance that was worth listening to in its own right. Then WWE went and added some random “HEY!” for no good reason and ruined it. He also used to have Lita in his corner, which accounted for at least half of his heat at one point, but now she’s gone and he’s been left with Randy Orton instead in a most unfair trade. To further prove that 2006 ended rather poorly for Edge, he has gone from WWE Champion to DX Whipping Boy #396. Ah well, at least the rest of it went well. Exceptionally well, in fact, as Edge finally fulfilled the potential WWE maintained that he had and as a result single-handedly saved Raw from tanking. That he managed to do this whilst carrying those burdensome teeth around with him speaks plenty about the dedication of this top-hairy man. He conducted his deserved X-Pac heat into genuine heel heat, managed to navigate through a lengthy series with Cena with suitable villainy to stem the tide of the Anti-Cena flow, and threw in not one but two excellent TLC matches along the way against both Cena and Flair. Thus far he has only climbed to the top of the dung heap in order to get the Money in the Bank stipulation over or to teach ECW a lesson about the dangers of drug-driving, but having surpassed himself on both occasions and in practically everything in between it is only a matter of time before the championship comes his way again. Bring it on, but not the live sex celebration with young Randy.

Ross: And with that gruesome thought, I’m going to have to go to my happy place. It’s actually quite similar to the ice cave in Fight Club, only Bonham Carter is wearing less, the Penguin speaks Dutch and Matt Hardy is leaping off the top of a cage onto Edge’s face in the background. Once all the unpleasantness of jobbing Matt out was done, we then moved onto Edge finally cashing in his money in the bank wotsit and having the first of his two cups of coffee with the top title. I feel the need to point out that he looked like a chump in his celebration afterwards and Lita REALLY looked like the ultimate cling-on during that, with a look on her face that said “Fuck you Matt”. I know Edge has worked for this his whole life but I just would have preferred him to maintain the smug character he’d been wearing on TV up ’til that point instead of going cockahoop after getting the three count on Johnny-boy. Either way, as much as Edge irritates me, he’s been a shining light of higher quality action in the RAW sea of mediocrity this year, has made Cena into a face again by being good at being a prick and can now be heralded as a two time World Champ and mentioned in the same sentence as Yokozuna, Bob Backlund and Dan Severn. Good for him!

NUMBER 4 – KING BOOKER
Last year’s #16

What we said last time: ”Whilst it’s generally not a good idea to bring your wife to ringside, having Sharmell around really seems to have got Booker back on track and if this is what we can expect from him, I say let the woman stay (and let Kurt teabag her).”

Ross: Teabagging aside, Booker has played a marvelous hand this year, transforming his profile from that of the last remnant of WCW to a genuine WWE superstar and it’s about bloody time. His in-ring work has been more focused than in years and I can’t recall seeing a single bad match from Booker where his opponent wasn’t Batista and, as is widely documented elsewhere, he’s been an absolute riot in character what with the faux-British accent, the quasi-tearful ring entrances as he is touched by the love of his subjects, and a sixth World Title run that was absolutely warranted and long overdue. You know what? Given the level of effort he put in during the Boogeyman feud that began the year, he deserves a long and illustrious run in his robes and possibly even another big strap to add to the CV.

Iain: Were it not for Finlay storming back from nothing, Booker would certainly have nabbed the ‘most improved’ moniker this year, as reflected by his return to the top ten. It’s the knowing twinkle in his eyes during the ceremonial march to the ring as King Booker that says it all. Very few individuals are capable of coming up with a new character at this juncture in their career (well, it was Sharmell’s idea, but still) and fewer still are able to make it work. Booker not only did that, he found time to open a wrestling school and try to train the Boogeyman. Still trying to make up for WrestleMania or just trying to do what WWE is unwilling to? Either way, he deserves credit for trying. Of course, Booker has not and will not recover his wrestling form from five years ago but he has compensated well by diving into his character and utilizing the little things to big effect. A wave here, a change of accent there, it’s all good. He’s been an exemplary professional this year, as evidenced by his relationship with Batista, and not even the stink of their turgid matches with one another could take the sheen off of the glorious reign of Smackdown’s most benevolent monarch yet. Now, just give me a damn Spinarooni already.

NUMBER 3 – SAMOA JOE
Last year’s #13

What we said last time: ”Stay where you are, Joe, for your own good.”

Iain: He did! It was! Everybody won! Sex was had! Not with him, naturally. Nobody should be made to tap out to the effects of moobs-in-mouth. Joe tapped out to the Ankle Lock and the world kept on spinning, despite the initial predictions of many ‘expert’ internet analysts. Even during the period in between leaving the X Division and Angle giving him that headbutt, when he supposedly wandered lonely as a cloud that likes to beat the shit out of the other clouds, he still managed the incomparable feat of making Scott Steiner seem relevant in 2006 and giving a damn good account of himself in brawls with Abyss and Monty Brown. Joe is firmly back on the ride now, eating cheeseburgers and having sex with the swagger of a man at the peak of his wrestling career so far. He’ll only get better. He’ll only get bigger. He’ll only get flabbier. He’ll only get a marginal run with the world title but, still, it’s better than being Umaga.

Ross: TNA seem to have a very disturbing habit of not pulling the trigger on, well, anything. Jarrett’s been the champ for an eternity, only occasionally dropping it for a couple of months at a time to AJ Styles, Ron Killings or Christian if they’re good boys and play nice, then letting that old codger Sting have some fun time with it, all the while holding off and holding off and holding off on the guys that the crowd are getting behind until it’s just too little too late. First case in point was Raven – there was a logical point to give him the belt and they didn’t. They gave it to him several months later when he wasn’t even in contention at the time, and it totally didn’t do much for anyone. Monty Brown is another example of someone that TNA could have pulled the trigger on but didn’t have the faith in due to his lack of commitment. Fair enough on that front, but Joe has commitment in buckets, usually also stuffed with greasy fried chicken skin. Everyone around the block was saying “it won’t mean anything unless you build to it” and I agree with that, but how much build do you really need and at what point do you say “enough is enough”? Bottom line, it should have been Joe beating Jarrett for the title at Bound For Glory, then this whole thing with Angle would have just been taken to a completely different place. It wasn’t and that’s probably the reason why Joe finds himself behind the runner up for the year. Great matches, great promos, great work all around
but that big gaping hole on his CV where World Champion should be. Combine that with TNA being the smaller stage and he’s not number one. He still could be – and arguably still should be – so let’s see what 2007 brings.

NUMBER 2 – FINLAY
*New Entry!*

Iain: Never underestimate the power of romance. Never fail to realise how a near fifty year old fella lamping people over the head with a slice of thick wood and a concealed midget could, through the virtues of professional wrestling, be considered romantic. Watching Finlay since his return has been almost as fulfilling as seeing Benoit winning the title at WrestleMania, only steadily played out across the whole year. They said that a man of his age could never possibly win over a WWE audience trained to specifically favour style over substance, yet he did. They said that a man who retired due to serious injuries could not possibly return after an absence of six years and hope to recapture his glorious past form, yet he did. They said that since he proved them wrong on those two points that they had to try and stamp some sort of territorial mark on him and lumped with a leprechaun sidekick to curb his heat, yet he wound up getting even more popular as the year went on. Now he’s in a strong enough position to challenge the World Heavyweight Champion on his own merits and have the audience readily accept it. Hell, a lot of them would even cheer this DAVE against Dave Batista because they can genuinely respect him, his skills and his heart. Just try to imagine what Smackdown would have been like if Finlay had not been there. Bobby Lashley would not have been in as strong a position as he now is. Neither would Ken Kennedy. King Booker would have gotten over anyway but not so emphatically without Finlay’s assistance. The same is true, and doubly so, for William Regal. Dave Taylor would never have gotten a chance to get on the show. Midgets everywhere would have lacked a solid role model. Chris Benoit would never have had anybody to have two MOTYCs with and may well have decided it just wasn’t worth returning to action. WWE would never have realised just how beneficial it is to have experienced wrestlers around to teach the youngsters just what the hell they are meant to be doing. In fact, without Finlay, Smackdown would have been little more than JBL insults and varied disappointments. It’s amazing what a former WCW Hardcore Junkyard Invitational Trophy Holder can accomplish.

Ross: Everyone’s favourite stick wielding Irishman has had an absolutely astonishing year and came within an inch of getting the nod as number one here. Even a transitional World Title run would have put him over the edge, such is the quality of Fit’s year and you’ve got to hand it to the guy – at his age, with only the one fully functional pin and with the unenviable task of having to attempt to smuggle a very real midget in and around the vicinity of the ring, he’s done us all proud. He’s trained Lashley up to World Title (ish) standard. He’s been instrumental in establishing the King Booker character. He’s helped Regal get back on the map. He’s played multiple games of “who gets the biggest boo-boo” with Chris Benoit. At some point or another, I believe he’s pinned every World Champion in WWE outside of Edge in non-title contests. Possibly not Cena but with WWE booking, only Nuclear Holocaust or K-Fed can stop The Marine. It ain’t the luck of the Irish – he’s Finlay, he’s f*cking great and you should write him a letter to thank him for it.

NUMBER 1 – KURT ANGLE
Last year’s #6

What we said last time: “It may be a guilty pleasure to watch Kurt in action, but his ability brings us all so much pleasure it tends to completely overshadow the guilt. We could be in the midst of the Indian summer of his career or on the verge of another chapter of glory.”

Ross: As the nature of Kurt’s behaviour becomes stranger and more perplexing with every issue of the Observer, what remains clear is the guy’s pure knack for wrestling. If you went back and looked at his matches from 2000, when he was bloody good, and then looked at his matches now, when he’s still bloody good, it’s a totally different performer. Many others don’t change. Angle hasn’t changed slightly, he’s evolved completely. Don’t think he deserves to be this high on the list? Let me walk you through a list of achievements for the year:

1/ Jump to Smackdown to rescue the World Title and save us from having to endure “Mark Henry: World Champion”.
2/ Carrying the promos for Orton and Mysterio in the lead up to ‘Mania
3/ Miraculous outing with the Undertaker at No Way Out
4/ Snug 3 way with Orton and Shorty at the big dance
5/ Tremendous match with Orton post-Mania
6/ Nearly got something watchable out of Mark Henry at Judgment Day
7/ Transfer to ECW and match with Orton at ONS2
8/ Shocking move to TNA catches EVERYONE off guard and instantly gives TNA a boost in the public eye
9/ Great first run out with matches against Abyss and Joe.
10/ Outstanding follow up bout with Joe at Turning Point.

I think that’s enough to warrant a major thumbs up, especially this year when prime wrestling hasn’t exactly been obvious. If this is indeed Kurt’s Indian summer, let’s hope it’s the summer that defies Mother Nature and lasts years, as long as Kurt can keep his ideas to himself and not start suggesting that Joe dress up as Snoopy.

Iain: “Kurt Angle: because even the deranged toothless veteran hanging around outside the pharmacy deserves a home.” Okay, it’s hardly likely to win over the doubters, but if TNA employed the Truth in Advertising Corporation to handle their affairs then they’d probably go with something like that to promote their biggest ever signing, ever. Still, you can’t fail but continue to be impressed with Angle’s in-ring work. He makes wrestlers who are ten years younger and without so much as a bruise on their body look lazy by comparison. Every single step that he has taken this year has been filled with such intensity you feel that even Senshi would turn around and say “Dude, lighten up” were it not for the spot-on fear of getting severely twatted in response. Angle is clearly clinging on with all his diminishing might, but what would happen if he were to let go? Would he be left a hollow nervous wreck of a man? Would his body finally succumb to reality and a wheelchair? Would he live out his days in the best of health with a happy family by his side? Nobody can tell how the Kurt Angle story is going to conclude, least of all Angle. All we can do is keep our fingers crossed that certain people are clever enough to keep him from shoot fighting and continue to have our breath taken away by his excellent wrestling skills. Whatever else happens is up to him. After another year of winning titles and delivering at least two MOTYCs, not to mention becoming the only person to have appeared on Raw, Smackdown, ECW and Impact in the same calendar year, he thoroughly warrants a return to the top spot on the 50 for a record-breaking fourth time. Face it, nobody came close to matching Kurt Angle for impact, intrigue or involvement this year, while his traditional three Is of intensity, integrity and intelligence live on not in words but in actions inside the ring. Nobody has a better chance of making 2007 an exciting year for wrestling fans and nobody else did just that in 2006 more effectively than Kurt Angle – and that is really damn true.

---

Thanks for reading, we’ll see you next year!