The Covenant – DVD Review

Film, Reviews

Available at Amazon.com

Screen Gems presents The Covenant. Written by J.S. Cardone. Running time: 97 minutes. Rated PG-13 for intense sequence of violence & action, some disturbing images, sexual content, partial nudity and language.

Director:

Renny Harlin

Cast:

Steven Strait.. ..Caleb Danvers
Laura Ramsey.. ..Sarah Wenham
Sebastian Stan.. ..Chase Collins
Taylor Kitsch.. ..Pogue Parry
Chace Crawford.. Tyler Sims
Toby Hemingway.. ..Reid Garwin
Jessica Lucas.. ..Kate Tunney

The Movie:

Oh, Renny, Renny ,Renny. What where you thinking when you signed on to direct this steaming pile? A lot of people have talked down on you over the years but you’ve made some good movies. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4, Die Hard 2 – hell, I’ll even give you The Long Kiss Goodnight – but you had to have known when you read the script that this movie was just going to be no good.

Since when did the four lamest teenagers in the world get to be powerful warlocks? Using their powers to lift girls skirts to see what color, if any, underwear they have on, I mean seriously. For an action movie it has hardly any action, what few scenes there are interspersed with long excruciatingly boring scenes that I suppose are designed to move the so called plot forward.

On the subject of “plot” let’s take a look at the one presented here. These four warlocks are BFFs and troublemakers of the highest caliber, see the prior paragraph. They are the descendents of the five families that founded their town, Ipswich. As the mother of our hero (Steven Strait) painfully spells out, they got their powers when they were thirteen. Soon, when they turn 18, they will “ascend” and become super powerful. However, the power is “addictive” and the more they use their power the faster they age. They even call practicing witchcraft “using.” Wasn’t the whole witchcraft as a metaphor for drugs already done in Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 6? So, anyway, as if this big change coming up in their life wasn’t enough they start getting haunted by evil beasties called “Darklings” (ooh spooky, eh?).

It turns out that the descendent of the fifth family (Sebastian Stan) is all evil and not dead like previously thought. The girlfriend (Laura Ramsey) of the hero is in danger and there is a super warlock showdown that ends up looking like something out of a Street Fighter video game (not in a good way). The dialogue throughout is bad, but the last scene has a stellar line when the evil warlock says, “I’m going to make you my wi-atch!” Get it? Earlier in the film there is a terrible line where one of the guys says, “Harry Potter can kiss my ass.” As they make their SUV fly off a cliff. Seriously, why even mention it?

All in all this is just another run of the mill teen thriller/horror genre piece that might appeal to young Goths everywhere but doesn’t have enough going on it to expand to a large movie going audience. The story is boring and unoriginal, the dialogue is awful and the acting is sub par at best. Toss this on the “avoid at all cost” list for 2006.


Caleb about to rock some Street Fighters style action.

STORY: 2
ACTING: 2
LOOK/FEEL: 3
ORIGINALITY: 1
ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 1
FINAL SCORE: 2

The DVD:

The Video:

The film is presented in both fullscreen 1.33:1 and widescreen 1.78:1. There is some decent cinematography here and the film has if nothing else a consistent look. No problems here.

The Audio:

The film is presented in Dolby Digital. The sound is fine too. The music isn’t terrible although the use of White Zombie’s “More Human Than Human” in the opening credits is a little much.

Extras:

Commentary with Renny Harlin: Listening to this commentary answers why Harlin decided to make this film. He very much has a love of the story and characters although I can’t figure out for the life of me why. If you enjoyed the movie you will enjoy this commentary. Harlin has a lot of insightful things to say about the film. He doesn’t just ramble about how great everyone is which is refreshing.

Breaking the Silence: Exposing The Covenant Featurette: This is a typical making of. Interviews with the cast and crew talking about how great the movie is which is hard to believe having just watched the movie and seeing how not good it is.

The DVD Lounge’s Ratings for The Covenant
CATEGORY
RATING
(OUT OF 10)
THE MOVIE

2
THE VIDEO

8
THE AUDIO

8
THE EXTRAS

4
REPLAY VALUE

1
OVERALL
2
(NOT AN AVERAGE)

Mike Noyes received his Masters Degree in Film from the Academy of Art University, San Francisco. A few of his short films can be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/user/mikebnoyes. He recently published his first novel which you can buy here: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Days-Years-Mike-Noyes-ebook/dp/B07D48NT6B/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1528774538&sr=8-1&keywords=seven+days+seven+years