D2 Review: 24 – My LoJack Device has been HiJacked

Sitting on the edge of my seat? Hardly. Try pacing around and peeking around the corner at the tv to avoid seeing the next torture scene.

4 hours in 2 days?

Clearly Fox is my new crack dealer. Next week’s measly hour will feel like 5 seconds. And I’ll just want more and more. I’ll have to run out to Best Buy and get seasons 1 5 to feed my new 24 crack addiction.

Did you like my shameless plug for Best Buy? Maybe they’ll throw me a digital camera or something. Yeah, right. I did, however, notice that this season is sponsored by Toyota. That Camry sure can turn corners! The “I’m in a white Jeep Cherokee” did bring me back to a famed slow speed chase in LA back in the day could it be co-sponsored by Chrysler?

So this is my take on Season 6 so far.

President Wayne Palmer sucks ass. He negotiates with terrorists and hands Jack Bauer over to Fayed? No thank you. He’s whispy and annoying. I see them killing him off or overthrowing him. Or since he negotiates with terrorists so much, maybe he’ll be hanged.

Kiefer’s cornered the market on bites to the jugular. In the torture room, he revisits his “Lost Boys” role and pretty much bites the neck off of Fayed’s cohort. The blood is dripping down his chin and I can only hear the song “Cry Little Sister”.

Kumar playing the Terrorist with a Heart? He clearly needed to smoke a little something and then hit the White Castle with Harold.

Chloe is the comedic relief on the show. Her gnarled, mousy grimace the entire time is more laughable than good acting on her part. And she reminds me of Scooby Doo you can’t do the show without her, but she’s always messing things up. And her “I think we know what this is all about yeah I went on a couple of dates with Milo but I chose you, Morris” was hilarious. People have noted that they’re trying to sex her up or something. A little more makeup, caught in a love triangle. Gimme a break.

Milo was a member of the Backstreet Boys.

“Get me Jack Bauer” President Wayne Palmer.
“This is a job for Superman” Clark Kent
“Send up the Bat-signal” Commissioner Gordon
“We’re gonna need a bigger boat” Roy Scheider in Jaws

Walid. Shady character on the other side? We don’t know. All we know is that Sandra Palmer, the President’s sister, is playing footsie with him and will do anything to save him. Though Lennox for some reason pulled him into the ring and had him arrested and detained. When he was in the prison, he knew something was going on with potential terrorists. Could be a good guy. Then again, could be a bad guy.

Lennox confiding to Wayne that he’s not comfortable siding with Assad, making Wayne recognize his “loyalty”. Famous last words, huh? Doesn’t he know what show he’s on? This is 24, man NOBODY’s loyal!

Wardrobe. Kiefer Sutherland, clearly has an investment in the show as lead role and Executive Producer. He knows the ratings are through the roof, however, he also has to know that he’s looking pretty good and needs to pull in the female audience. Not being a dumb guy, when it was time for a wardrobe change in the abandoned house with Assad that gray long sleeve tee sure does work! Nice selection, Kiefer/ Jack. You’re looking extra hot in that shirt. I mean, after all, you’ll be wearing it the entire season. Yum!

Scott is the new Jack Bauer in training. Jack remembered the coordinates of where Assad was being held while he was being tortured. Scott remembered the address his dad was to take the “package” while held at gunpoint by Kumar. Since Jack is collapsing, he just might deputize Scott.

Scott’s mom is up for “Mom of the Year”. What mother would leave her child with a terrorist with a heart, with a wound as deep as an Air Supply song, on percocet with a gun? I thought for sure when she was walking out of the house she’d get behind him and attack him and Scott would use his knife he secretly had and they’d save the day like Mighty Mouse. Dad wouldn’t have dropped off the package, they would’ve called the cops and the world would be fine. I blame the entire nuclear bomb going off on Jillian, aka: Mom of the Year.

This season of 24? I give it 10 out of 10 addictive crack pipes.

Sir Linksalot: 24

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