Slayer’s Wrestling and Stuff: Mistress Lita vs. The Fans

Columns

SLAYER’S WRESTLING AND STUFF!

Hi Everybody! Welcome to the return of Slayer’s Wrestling and Stuff! Where have I been this past month. Well, had to take care of some medical issues. But, don’t worry kids..I’m alright now. I was ready to comeback and then ..IP had its own medical issues to take care of. But, don’t worry kids, IP is alright now. So I was ready to comeback and then The Mistress wouldn’t unhandcuff me from the bed post. It was her way of showing me that my soul belongs to her, not IP. She’s evil like that. She also didn’t want me to recommit back to the weekly schedule until I was at least back to 90%. She’s angelic like that. Then finally, I was ready to come back and .I got stuck at work. Basically, when you take a one month medical leave of absence from the place you work, and they don’t give you any grief over it and have your office waiting for you when you get back they got you by the balls for a few months.

So now that I just gave away more personal information about myself that none of you had any business knowing of, let’s get to it. We’re gonna talk today about the Lita Incident that happened at Survivor Series. No Diva stuff this week. No DVD review this week. Sorry guys, The Mistress says it’s too much for the first time back. She doesn’t want me on the computer for more then two hours. So I’m on the clock, I better get rolling. However, I introduce to you a whole new section of Slayer’s Wrestling and Stuff! It’s called ..

THE PULSE WRESTLING REWIND!
Pulse wrestling a phonetic nightmare if you ask me. But so be it. Let’s get to it!!!!!!!!11

So, if you’ve never read Alternate Reality by Vinny, his 100th column is a good place to start. At first I was like “Oh no, not another Anniversary column with cock-sucking galore.” But then he does this thing where he goes over the Best of Himself. Which is a sneaky way to bring new readers in the fold and introduce yourself.

Resident Goddess, Bambi says Mickie James and Victoria put on the best wrestling match up to this point and the problem is the fans aren’t that into it. I completely blame the lack of building the storyline with promos. While I agree that turning Mickie into a mute was a bad decision (as she said so herself in this column), they’ve done an amazing job pushing Victoria and the rivalry itself. The problem was with the crowd. That may have been one of the worst crowds I’ve seen on a live wrestling program in quite some time. And it’s not just Cajun Country. More on this later .as it relates to the topic du jour.

Phil Clark continues his 2006 special with Best Stories and the Top 10 matches And they recognize MMA.

TIME OUT! SOAPBOX TIME!

As many of you know, in a previous life I was once the caretaker of IP Sports now called Tailgate Crashers. And I always had this pet peeve about the wrestling zone: They would write about sports a lot .on a site with a sports section. I hated it when they did that. How many times had I seen wrestling columns with three sentences about wrestling and ten paragraphs about sports. ARGGGGGGHHH I hated that. And I guess I still do. Especially when we have an entire section dedicated to the fighting sports. Not cool.

Ok I think this whole linking thing is gonna cause me more enemies then friends., but so be it. I shall soldier on!

TIME IN! BACK TO LINKS!

I really like Great-ing Gimmicks of the Past as they get me all nostalgic while at the same time jogging wrestling memories long collecting dust in the back of my hippocampus. And the match between Dude Love and Austin in Over the Edge ’98 is one of my favorites.

I just realized that most of you have no idea what a hippocampus is. Look it up. HEY, I WAS FORCED TO MEMORIZE THE PARTS OF THE BRAIN, SO DO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No you don’t sorry just having a study-cram flashback.

We have another 100th ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW! It’s over at the Puroresu Pulse Most of the time, what he writes about is Greek to me and probably to most of us, but this time he talks about someone we all know.

And no Greek to me is not an insult..you know the line from Cicero in Julius Caesar of course you do. I move on.

As for Eric S lemmie say this. Everyone and their puppy is rooting for the Saints well..anyone with a soul that is. Except for two types of people, Bears fans like Eric and Patriot fans like me. Because WHEN the Patriots beat the Colts, I will be rooting like crazy for the Bears. REVENGE CHICAGO! REVENGE FOR SUPER BOWL XX! REVENGE FOR 46-10! VENGEANCE WILL BE OURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And of course, if the Patriots lose, I will root for the Saints along with the rest of the country.

So yes after my whole spiel, I just talked about sports in a wrestling column inspired by a guy talking about sports in a wrestling column.

So I’m as hypocritical and full of shit as anyone else. What am I to do. Let’s move on.

And finally, there is no reason to torture yourself with ECW. Blatt does it for us. You are a brave man and you will be rewarded in the next life.

LET’S TALK ABOUT RASSLIN!

Listen, I’m the Diva guy around here, so you would think the Diva guy would do a sendoff on Lita, right? Well, it’s too late for that now. Or is it? See, I’ve been wanting to say something since Survivor Series but let’s start slowly.

So let’s continue from what I was saying about this week’s RAW crowd. Essentially, they couldn’t care less about anyone except for Cena and DX. This has become a pattern lately. And no IWC land, it’s not McMahon’s fault. Look at Edge/Orton. They’ve been pushing their heeldom to the moon, and they barely get a reaction when they come out. Now not all the time, a couple weeks ago at a RAW, the crowd was INSANE, and eating up everything. It just seems that many arenas are being filled with fringe-fans as opposed to real wrestling fans this includes my hometown of New York city and its famed Madison Square Garden.

A few months ago, I went to the Raw at MSG. First off, it was important to know that half the audience was 12. Obviously, there are always lots of kids at a wrestling show but this was A LOT. And actually, that’s a good thing. So putting them aside, I’m focusing on the adults. It was the lamest audience I have ever seen at MSG. I used to be really proud of the fact that New York wrestling fans were intelligent, demanding, and passionate about the product they paid to see. But, not the case that night. These people were completely apathetic to everything!. When Edge came out, I was cheering and I was not only the only one cheering, no else was even booing. Trish Status came out, one week before her final show and her final appearance at MSG. You would think 5 minute standing ovation, right? Nope. Only a small minority of fans gave her a thank you chant and a standing ovation. Us minority tried in vein to get the crowd going .they couldn’t care less. This was not the New York Wrestling Crowd I was used to. It was a crowd there for two reasons: DX and cheer/boo John Cena. And for those booing Cena, they probably had no idea why they were doing it. It was kind of funny, because us REAL wrestling fans (which was about 20% of the arena) did not participate in the cheer/boo war. Now listen, fringe/pop-culture fans are important to the wrestling business but man too much I say.

But it wasn’t even in NY. It was in Philadelphia back in Survivor Series. So, we got a PPV in what is considered maybe best the wrestling town in America (I actually think Chicago is, but whatever). And the way that crowd treated Lita it was appalling. The fringe-fans booed her because she was a heel that day. That’s what fringe-fans do. And most of them weren’t watching wrestling when Lita was in her prime. I was angry at the so-called REAL wrestling fan. The fact that a measly 10% of that audience tried to give her a thank-you was a disgrace. You all fell for what was nothing more then a contrived work and when it was time to put the storyline away and show her the respect she deserved, you guys spit in her face.

And it’s not just Philadelphia, the entire wrestling culture as a whole completely abandoned her. For something that was really no one’s business.

Now, some people did criticize the WWE itself and maybe rightfully so. However, what could they do? People hated Lita, she had been getting her way for most of 2006, and the fans wanted some payback. The wrestling industry like all facets of entertainment have a tendency to chew people up, and spit them out. But at the very least, WWE at least keeps in touch with their ex-employees. No, this one is on the wrestling fans.

So what am I saying? I don’t know really. But I’ll say this. I know many of you feel the same way. Basically, when I started this thing, I had one goal in mind: Write a wrestling column for wrestling fans. By the emails I’ve been getting (and thank you so much!) it seems that’s all a lot of you want too. Just a wrestling column.

Over my last several columns, I was able to filter out my feelings over the IWC whom are mostly people not fans of wrestling. They are three types of people:

The Meltzer Type
Those that simply just have a nostalgic attachment to a product they once loved but then outgrew. The don’t seem to understand that wrestling is essentially vaudeville. It always has been, always will be. And like most vaudeville, it’s best the first time around when one is younger.

The Keller Type
Those that have an interest in the backstage soap operas/feuds/friendships/hook-ups/dramas to point where it is just psychotic. When these people are watching wrestling, they don’t see the wrestlers, they see what they think are their real personalities. They don’t see HBK, they see Mr. Hickenbottom or whatever his name.

The Scherer Type
Those that are upset that the world of wrestling didn’t go the way THEY wanted and now they hate wrestling. So now they watch wrestling due to a masochistic affection for their own neurosis.

Now, back to Lita’s final performance in philly. Let’s look at how the SIX TYPES of fans reacted to it.

The fringe fan booed her and was entertained by the Cryme Tyme segment because that’s what they do.

The kids were just confused

The Meltzer Type fan felt that this was just more of the same crap.

The Keller Type fan were more interested in the backstage reaction would be.

The Scherer Type Fan were satisfied that the bitch who broke Matt Hardy’s heart got smacked around a bit and that she won’t be on television anymore. But they felt the Cryme Tyme segment was classless and immature. And then became interested what the backstage reaction would be.

The wrestling fan was just appalled. The way you people treated her was awful.

And finally, I got one more thing to say. So Matt, she broke your heart, eh? Well, guess what son, it’s called life. Every man goes through it, some even believe it is a right of passage that all people must go through. But you weren’t a man about it, you were a stupid teenager about it. Going on the computer and flaunting her affairs on the internet. Classless if you ask me.

So, she hurt you I guess and you wanted to hurt her back. Well congratulations, you did it. You alienated her from 90% of the wrestling fans to a point where she couldn’t even get recognition for her amazing achievements and unparalleled contribution to professional wrestling. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

Go f*ck yourself Matt.

And if you were one of those fans at Philly giving her a hard time, go f*ck yourself too.

And if you were one of those fans enjoying the treatment she got in Philly, you can also f*ck yourself.

So why am I all hard on everyone and not on Lita? Because I love the ladies if you haven’t noticed.

Except for the Bitch that broke my heart some time ago FUCK YOU YOU SELFISH BITCH, FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU JUST STRUNG ME ALONG FOR THE RIDE DIDN’T YOU? AND WHEN THINGS GOT REAL AND WERE LONG LONGER FUN, YOU JUST TOSS ME OUT LIKE AN OLD NEWSPAPER IN A FLIP OF A HAT AND OTHER CLICHES I CANT THINK OF RIGHT NOW. I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL CUNT!

Next Week: The Return of the Diva Stuff and we review a Royal Rumble DVD plus the Royal Rumble Drinking Game!

God Bless

If you would like to email me, the insidepulse domain only works half the time. You are more then welcome to email me HERE instead