Pulse Wrestling Answers #008

Firstly, some entertainment.

Because WCW cared about the black man:

Is it too much to hope WWE makes the exact-same-video with Monty Brown? There are some questions that I cannot answer but it’s a little too easy to imagine Vince McMahon getting his groove on whilst watching that…

Meanwhile, in the Land of the Jackson Brown Fan Club, Homercutio imagines more things involving people named Vince:

“Okay, this:

In June 2002 Russo had a very brief second stint with WWE. Again, McMahon wanted to try and improve the quality of the storylines and allowed Russo to come crawling back and satisfy his inner Monty Burns. Russo proceeded to pitch a serious of increasingly ludicrous ideas, such as reforming the nWo with Bret Hart, Goldberg, Hogan, Nash and Sting and giving them their own spin-off show, which quickly led to his dismissal. The kick of it was that Russo had deliberately done that as he really wanted to go and work with his friend, your friend and everybody’s friend Jeff Jarrett in the newly-created TNA promotion but was still under contract to Time-Warner. WWE had bought that contract out, however, so now he was free to work where he liked in the wrestling industry. It’s hard to think of anybody else ever getting one over on Vince McMahon not once but twice, so Russo deserves credit for that at the very least.

I had never heard about. And, beyond Impact being my favorite wrestling show on TV at the moment (as faint praise as that is, even if I do happen to still watch all of the wrestling free TV), has increased my respect for Russo a ton. Because it’s hilarious on so many levels.”

Yeah, but the funniest thing about TNA in ages was the reaction of me to Fleetwood Mac on the radio, must change it, Shuggie Otis? Hmm. Well, that’ll do for now, but the reaction of the crowd to Christy Hemme’s painful promo at Final Resolution. They turn on her, chant “we want wrestling”, she says she wants wrestling too and then, without missing a beat, they respond with “you can’t wrestle”. No, she sure can’t. But if you want anybody to appear on a mouthwash commercial, she’s your girl.

Mmmmminty fresh!

Spanky?

No.

Onward:

Charles Emanuele steps up:

“Dear Ian,

I have a question about a rather disturbing story I heard about 10 years ago on one of the big wrestling news sites at the time, or an old dirt sheet called the “Wresting Tribune.” Tatanka was wrestling an independent show, I believe he was champion of the company, and had a valet. During the course of his match he was handcuffed to one turnbuckle while his valet was handcuffed to another. The valet was then striped and raped, literally; the heel made a big show out of putting a condom on. Apparently this was all staged with Tatanka and the valet in advance. My question is did this really happen and if so who was involved and where are they now? I found it hard to believe back then and I think of it every time I see Tatanka come out on Smackdown.”

Tatanka was indeed involved in a rape case ten years ago. A woman filed charges against various then-WWF wrestlers following an incident in a hotel after a show in Anaheim in 1995. Tatanka was one of the names mentioned and I believe Jimmy Del Ray and Stan Lane were too. As far as I know the case was dropped but Tatanka was indeed let go from the company around the time. That’s not evidence of guilt, just of the WWF wanting to distance themselves just in case at a time when they were already in dire straits. Meanwhile, Lane’s role in the company was decreased greatly and he was eventually let go, while Del Ray had little to do with the WWF by then anyway – though his tag partner Tom Prichard was brought back. All indications are that if anything did happen to this woman it happened while Tatanka was asleep or passed out, which would account for WWE rehiring him years later.

Another Tatanka curiousity in light of the upcoming Royal Rumble – in 1993 he found out Paul Diamond had slept with his wife, so management had to carefully keep him and Max Moon apart in the Rumble match. Then Moon/Diamond was released very quickly after the show.

[EDIT: And now Tatanka is gone once again. Boo or Boo-urns?]

Next…

Kurtis R. Osterland gets misty-eyed and nostalgic:

“Does anyone remember the New Blood vs Millionaire’s Club incident when Bischoff told Sid to “go get your scissors”?

If I’m not mistaken I also believe he mentioned someting about a squeege.”

That’s because the marvellous arse that was Sid had a tendency to get a little bit too riled up for his own good when he got into arguments. During one with Brian Pillman in a bar in 1991, Pillman got the upper hand after they scuffled but Sid left to come back with a lethal weapon (n. Blackman) and do some serious damage. He came back with a squeegee. There was much mockery. Then, on a UK tour in 1993, Sid got into another bar fight, this time against Arn Anderson. Having learnt from his earlier folly, Sid decided to use a pair of scissors and the result was twenty stab wounds for Arn. A planned WCW World Title reign for Sid was scrapped and he was fired, going to work in USWA until the WWF became desperate enough to bring him back.

Of course, this is the real reason to remember Sid:

Ouchies.

Next…

Pete Gas takes time-out from his KFC shift to almost ask:

“What information do know about the Stampede Kid TJ Wilson, regarding his future in the wrestling industry and whether he will work with his friend Harry Smith in WWE.”

Well, he was brought into the Deep South developmental territory on the recommendation of Bill DeMott. He is in a long-term relationship with Nattie Neidhart and they live together with two cats. He was born in 1980 and started wrestling at the age of 15. He stayed in Calgary to be trained by the Harts and Davey Boy Smith. His brother, Pete Wilson, was also trained there and competed in Eric Bischoff’s short-lived Matrats promotion in 2001. He teamed with Harry Smith as the Stampede Bulldogs on the indy scene. His official website is here. TJ Wilson & Harry Smith vs. William Regal & Dave Taylor would be one hell of a match. Bring it on.

Next…

Then comes the one and only Nick with:

“Longtime reader. You won’t remember but I was in correspondence with you shortly after your move to Inside Pulse from 411. I don’t really watch wrestling at the moment, what with WWE’s paucity of decent material on Sky One and my own poverty preventing me from getting The Wrestling Channel or Sky Sports. Consequently, I’m not the rabid wrestling column-reader I used to be, and have been falling back on Rick Scaia’s news reports and Chris Hyatte’s DoI column lately. I have to say, it’s terrific to see you writing about wrestling again, even if only in a Q&A column. I also read the recent WB 50; WB naturally standing for ‘Williams Burnside’, not ‘Warner Brothers’ – everyone knows that Yosemite Sam takes the Warner Bros. 50 each year, thanks to his outstanding workrate and his perpetual selflessness in putting over Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, the Brian Christopher and Randy Orton of cartoon characters.

I’m currently working my way through your old Q&A columns (which is a total pain in the arse, owing to the decrepit archive system at IP), so I apologise in advance if my question’s already been tackled. Looking through older columns, I feel you’ve had a really easy ride of it, particularly compared with some of the hyper obscure stuff that gets raised on the 411 Q&A column, so I thought I’d put you through your paces. It’s for your own good – character-building without having to be suspended by your nipples in time-tested Native American brave fashion.

Here is my question:

When Ron Simmons was released awhile back, information on the reasoning was sketchy – all I gleaned was that he might have been a bit pissed at some public event or other. Could you provide any further information on this?

Thanking you in advance, and keep up the quality work.”

Thanks, Nick. Are you one of TSSP’s survivors? I miss those days, when I was all eager and drunk. Ron Simmons seems to have been spending most of that time being all grumpy and drunk, which led to his dismissal in 2004 after he was particularly grumpy and drunk during the WrestleMania XX weekend. WWE asked him to go into rehab, he said no, they ditched him anyway and Bradshaw became WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield. So, basically, the next time you chuckle at something JBL comes out with on Smackdown commentary you can thank the debilitating effects of consistent heavy drinking. Also, WWE needs to release ‘DAMN’ as a ringtone.

Next…

Robert Bethel has something on his mind:

“I HAVE ASKED OTHER QnA COLUMNS THIS QUESTION TO NO AVAIL MAYBE U CAN BE MY SAVIOR WHEN EXACTLY DID WWE/WWF GO FROM STEEL FENCE LIKE RAILINGS TO THE CURRENT BLACK PADDED/FOAM RAILINGS THAT LINE THE RING AREA .PLEASE RESPOND AND PLEASE EMAIL ME BACK B/C I JUST FOUND YOUR COLUMN AND IT IS GREAT AND I DON’T WANT TO MISS YOUR ANSWER THANKS FOR DOING A GREAT COLUMN I LOVE THE CONCEPT AS THERE ARE A LOT OF QUESTIONS OUT THERE.”

Many questions and not enough caps locks. The WWF originally used the chain fence but switched to the blue-barred cage during the Hulk Hogan/King Kong Bundy feud for WrestleMania II. Unless you include the Hell in the Cell, it wasn’t until 1999 that they went back to the chained version, not just for aesthetic reasons but because it’s easier to set up. I think the first time they used it in the modern era was The Rock vs. Triple H on Raw, aired on 5th July but taped on 29th June.

Next…

Nick Howells is fun for the whole family:

”Hey Iain

Keep up the good work.

I have a question I thought of whilst playing my “car number plate wrestler game” TM! (look at letters on number plates, and if they reflect a wrestlers initials, that’s one guy, next one you spot is his opponent, sweet!)

The other day I had TNA vs MNM, hmmm, Lex Luger vs Val Venis, and then fate dealt me Ric Flair vs Arn Anderson. So got me thinking, has this match EVER taken place on TV, PPV or even house show?
I really cannot think of a time when it has. Flair has fought pretty much everyone, and certainly all ex Horsemen (Sting, Luger, Windham, Sid etc) but I cannot think of anyone billing an Arn Anderson vs Ric Flair match.

So, has it ever happened?

Now you can all waste some time while driving, certainly helps me on my daily M25 fun and games.”

Sure it has, most notably at Fall Brawl ’95 in a pretty damn fine match. It was all part of the resurrection of the Four Horsemen, built around the idea that Flair needed Anderson more than Anderson needed Flair. Arn won the match with help from Brian Pillman, Chris Benoit turned up a few weeks later and they even managed to throw in a quick heel-turn on Sting for the hell of it. They had a few matches on Nitro around that period too, and hopefully the Fall Brawl one will make the Horsemen DVD set later in the year.

That game is indeed a superb way of passing wasted time though!

Next…

The non-linear Ben Doon pipes in with:

”When did the Rockers (Michaels and Jannetty) form and which were their most significant feuds?”

Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty first began teaming with one another in early 1986, working in NWA Central States as the Midnight Rockers. The original name was an amalgamation of two other renowned teams of the time, but I won’t insult your intelligence by spelling them out for you. They soon started working for the AWA and had a decent feud with Buddy Rose & Doug Somers over the World Tag Team belts there. The following year they had a brief stint in the WWF but were fired for being too young and too thus too irritating/drunk/pretty for certain individuals. They went back to the AWA for a while and worked in Memphis too, before getting a second chance with the WWF in 1988. They didn’t have any significant rivalries there, but they did have some pretty good matches with the Hart Foundation, the Orient Express and the Brain Busters. And let’s not forget their stupid-massive-big-fun reunion match against La Resistance in 2005!

Next…

Philip McCrevis confounds critics and asks:

”Who played Max Moon, and has he played any other characters? (I heard he played Repo-man)”

Max Moon, a.k.a. The Comet Kid, a.k.a. El Electrico, a.k.a. Maxamillion Moves was originally also known as Konnan. Yes, Sergeant Hipless had created the look of the character after indulging in some anime tapes and, presumably, a shitload of hash. The costume was ridiculously expensive and thus more valuable to Vince McMahon than the person wearing it, so when Captain Unikidney started making a fuss about not having a guaranteed contract Vince just got rid of him and Paul Diamond started playing the character. As mentioned above, Diamond kicked off a whole other set of problems and was promptly kicked out of the promotion. By that point the Max Moon project was dubbed more trouble than it was worth and they just scrapped it. Repo Man was Barry Darsow, who had nothing to do with Max Moon or, sadly, Emilio Estevez.

Next…

Amir Likkinminge (huh?) asks:

”When Triple H injured his quadricep in 2001(?) he had it surgically repaired and returned to the ring. Is there any source from within the industry which suggests this new quadricep operation he is having done is so that his other leg may benefit from the same reinforcements gained from the surgery, and not just another misfortunate accident?”

Um, no. Same injury, different leg. Only a few months until we get another one of these:

Quick! To the Bonosignal!!

Next…

Paul Tattersall needs to know:

”Who is Captain Lou Albano and whats he done in wrestling?”

He is a mightily hairy man. He started wrestling in the WWWF as one-half of The Sicilians with Tony Altimore in the late ‘50s, a mock-mafia outfit that were so good at their act the real mafia politely requested that they stop taking the piss. They had more success in the ‘60s, claiming the Midwest Tag Team Titles in Chicago and the WWWF United States Tag Team Titles a few years later. By the start of the ‘70s he had taken on the Captain moniker and become a manager, using his loud and witty personality to lead a number of challengers against the then champion Bruno Sammartino – including Ivan Koloff, who briefly held the belt in 1971 after ending Sammartino’s seven-year reign. Albano went on to lead Pat Patterson, Greg Valentine and Don Muraco to the Intercontinental Title and a whopping 15 different teams to the WWF Tag Team Titles. His popularity peaked during the Rock ‘n’ Wrestling years when he was involved in a feud with Cyndi Lauper, including an appearance in her Girls Just Wanna Have Fun video. He left the WWF in 1986 however, choosing to go and work on various TV and film projects as well as MS research charities. He returned to the WWF in 1994 to lead The Headshrinkers to the tag titles and was inducted into the WWF Hall of Fame in 1996. That was pretty much it, barring a few cameos. More important than any of that was his savoury turn as Super Mario in the Super Mario Brothers Super Show:

The 1980s had a lot of drugs.

Next…

Rod Pollish tinkers:

”If Matt Stryker insists on wrestling with a semi-on, why is he still allowed to wear speedos?”

Having not watched Tuesday Night Heat since June, I really don’t know or care what Matt Striker does or wears. Neither should you. Dirty boy.

Next…

That’s all for now, boys and girls. There’s an article on the 1832 Reform Acts of England and Wales and Scotland with my name on it, and I need to ensure that it is in fact worthy of my name. Ireland got one in 1832 as well but for some reason they don’t want to know about it. They are odd.

Meanwhile, elsewhere:

Thanks to me and Manolis, the first part of the Comics Nexus Awards are now up for your viewing pleasure, complete with special guests and graphic that make you go ‘ooh’.

Aaron examines the recent WWE cuts and the potential drawbacks of Shawn Michaels in 2007…

Slayer returns, with exclamation marks!

Wilson has an easy introduction to puroresu for everyone…

Vinny reached his 100th consecutive weekly column, which is quite the impressive feat. We love our multiples of ten around here, we do, we do.

And if you haven’t heard yet, Inside Pulse is currently hiring new writers. Click on the link for more details and no free sex.

Till next time, send more questions and eat ice cream.

Also, in light of recent unfortunate events, check out this 1988 match between Vader and Bam Bam Bigelow: