The Chrononaut Chronicles: WWF Prime Time Wrestling – 4/6/87

Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

The Chrononaut Chronicles – WWE 24/7: WWF Prime Time Wrestling – Monday, April 6, 1987

– This is the first edition of Prime Time Wrestling after WrestleMania III, so Bobby Heenan looks dejected and has a hoarse voice while Gorilla Monsoon chides him about his subpar record at the big event. After inquiring about the unopened cases of champagne that Heenan had purchased for his celebration party, Gorilla informs the Brain that he owes $37,000 to the WWF for the oversized championship belt he had them make for Andre The Giant and Heenan wonders if Monsoon has any salt he’d like to rub in the wounds. Poor Bobby.

– Tiger Chung Lee vs. Blackjack Mulligan

It’s like they knew how bad and boring this match would be, so they decided to riff on it in the broadcast booth with the worst announce team possible as Heenan & Luscious Johnny V(aliant) are on commentary sounding like two bad out-of-work comedians cracking jokes to each other. This was during Blackjack’s return to the WWF as a grizzled old ranch-hand wearing red coverall underwear, blue jeans, cowboy boots, and gloves and feuded with WWF newcomer “Outlaw” Ron Bass, although this must have been near the end of his relatively brief run since he appears on a July ’87 edition of NWA Championship Wrestling from Florida that also airs this month on 24/7. The female ring attendants are called “Federettes” and the referee is a chick, but unfortunately Mike McGuirk is not the ring announcer to complete the Feminist Triple Threat. I can’t think of anything else to mention instead of the in-ring action and it’s a good thing because Mulligan ends our misery with the least-graceful jumping back elbow of all time to pin Lee.

– Heenan admits to Monsoon that he told King Kong Bundy to squash the midgets at WrestleMania, but he was upset with Bundy… because some of the midgets left under their own power.

– Mean Gene Okerlund is in the empty Pontiac Silverdome after WrestleMania III to run down the results of the supercard while clips are shown from each match. Looks like Gene missed the afterparty. I hope Hogan saved him some coke.

– Heenan complains about the “incompetent officiating” in the Andre/Hogan match and talks about the referee counting three for Andre, but Monsoon claims that the Hulkster got his shoulder up and the ref couldn’t stop his hand as he was counting. The funny thing watching Gorilla defend the young referee now is knowing that the ref in question was Joey Marella, who was Gorilla’s son but the relationship was never acknowledged on television.

– Part 1 of the Ken Patera Story kicks off the buildup to Patera’s return to the WWF as a babyface after serving a prison sentence for f*cking up a window at McDonald’s and brawling with police. The video piece, narrated by Gene Okerlund, recaps his amateur athletic achievements from childhood and his reign of terror in the WWF as an ally of Bobby Heenan & Big John Studd. The tease for the next part of the story blames the “pernicious influence” of the Brain for what would happen to Patera. Yeah, it wasn’t the drugs or roid rage, it was Heenan.

– Heenan wonders if this week’s show is all about burying him and is rightly flabbergasted that he’s being blamed for everything as he notes that he’s glad he wasn’t born before World War II since everybody would have blamed that on him too. Heenan rips on Ken Patera and isn’t impressed by “amateur garbage” because he’s a professional.

– Koko B. Ware vs. Honky Tonk Man

Monsoon & Heenan are on commentary and “The Colonel” Jimmy Hart is in Honky Tonk’s corner as he keeps stalling to avoid locking up with the Bird Man and Heenan speculates that Koko wears one white glove so that he can hitchhike at night and be seen. LOL indeed. Honky finally locks up and twists the arm, but Koko reverses it and hits an atomic drop before messing up Honky’s hair and bodyslamming him. Honky bails out and threatens to leave, but comes back and puts up his dukes as Koko backs him into a corner and decks him with a flying shoulderblock off the ropes. Koko follows up with a bodyslam and Honky accuses him of pulling his hair, then headlocks Koko and counters an attempted hiptoss with a hiptoss of his own, but Koko avoids a fistdrop and grabs a headlock as we go to break. When we come back, Honky is in control while trashtalking some ringsiders, but Koko blocks a punch and slugs away until Honky catches him with a knee to the gut and dances for the fans. A fistdrop off the middle turnbuckle earns a two-count for Honky, but Koko comes back with a high crossbody for two and Honky stomps away in the corner before dancing again as Heenan shushes Monsoon just in case he breaks into song. Honky slams Koko with a fireman’s carry takeover and drops a nice elbow off the middle turnbuckle for two, but Koko fights out of a chinlock and gets two off a sunset flip. Honky levels Koko with a short-clothesline for another two and applies a neckvice, but Koko rams Honky’s head against the turnbuckle and does the Bird Dance as he mounts a comeback and unloads on Honky Tonk with headbutts, punches, and two dropkicks that knock Honky over the top rope to the floor. Koko tries to suplex Honky back in from the apron, but Jimmy Hart grabs the Bird Man’s foot and Honky falls on top of Koko for the three-count. This was a good little match with Honky Tonk playing the classic old-school Memphis heel as he always did so well.

– Heenan claims he didn’t see Jimmy Hart’s interference, but he must have been watching because he used the same finish two years later to help Rick Rude pin the Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania V. Monsoon puts over Mary Hart, Bob Uecker, & Alice Cooper for their participation at WMIII, but adds that Aretha Franklin “left a lot to be desired”. Wow, I’ve never heard the WWF rip on a celebrity they used, what was the story behind that?

– Mean Gene interviews Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who claims that he was drinking a beer at his local tavern and saw the Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff singing their anthem and waving their flags on TV, so he decided to come to the WWF and do something about their expression of free speech. USA! USA! USA!

– Heenan introduces Fuji Bandito, the latest in a classically cheesy series of vignettes (others were Fuji Hospital and the most well-known, Fuji Vice) starring the Magnificent Muraco & Mr. Fuji as the gimmick is that Muraco thinks he and Fuji have great acting talent, so they filmed all these intentionally-bad videos starring a mix of other WWF heels and (what I presume to be) actual actors. At least, that’s what I’ve gathered from the last couple months of Prime Time on WWE 24/7, as I only remember Fuji Vice from an old Coliseum Video of TNT highlights and never really understood what the idea behind it was until now. Fuji Bandito is an old Western starring Freddie Blassie as a saloon bartender, Fabulous Moolah as a lady of the evening (?), and Jimmy Hart as “Mississippi” the card shark with Mr. Fuji playing cards and Muraco as “The Muraco Kid” barging in and shooting somebody. The highlights are Fuji wearing his boler hat as always and Muraco pulling Moolah in front of him when somebody shoots at him. Awful stuff, but these skits have somehow taken on a mythic quality due to nostalgia, because you can bet if WWE or TNA put on something like this today they’d be universally ripped apart. At least they were SUPPOSED to look bush-league and amateurish, but I still don’t really understand how this was supposed to translate into heel heat or a wrestling match/feud for Muraco.

– Monsoon laughs at how bad Fuji Bandito was while Heenan claims it was tremendous until Gene Okerlund interrupts them as he wanders into the studio wearing a trenchcoat and sunglasses looking for the bathroom. Well, that was random.

– “Italian Stallion” Salvatore Bellomo vs. “Outlaw” Ron Bass

Not to be confused with the Italian Stallion from the NWA, Bellomo was a cleancut babyface immigrant who appeared on Tuesday Night Titans a few times in 1985, but by ’87 he was undergoing a heel turn as he grew a beard, wore an outfit that covered his entire body, and called himself the “Italian Stallion”. See, it’s an intentionally-ironic nickname because Salvatore wasn’t really in good shape, which made him a heel in Vince’s world. How dare people feel good about themselves without spending 15 hours a day in the gym and gassing up on steroids! Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, & Bruno Sammartino are on commentary as Bass dominates to start until Bellomo leapfrogs over him and hits a nice mulekick before scoring a two-count off a crossbody, but Bass regains control and batters Bellomo at ringside. After some more punishment back in the ring, Bass nails Bellomo with a jumping back-elbow for the three-count. Sadly, this was before Bass started carrying his bullwhip named “Betsy”, so there’s no whipping afterwards.

– Mean Gene interviews Mr. Fuji, who introduces Wild Samoan Sika, Kamala, & Kimchee as his newest acquisitions since their previous manager (“The Wizard” aka King Curtis Iaukea aka “The Master” from the Dungeon Of Doom skits in WCW) had left the WWF. Kamala wails and moans while Fuji claims that the Ugandan Giant hasn’t forgotten what the white man has done to his people in Africa and will feast on “white meat” in the WWF.

– The Islanders vs. Demolition

This is fairly historic, since it’s the Madison Square Garden debut of Demolition and they are still using the instrumental version (really just the same chainsaw-like guitar riff over and over) of their famous entrance music, but no manager because I believe this was taped between the switch from Luscious Johnny V to Mr. Fuji. Monsoon & Heenan are on commentary and Gorilla wonders where Johnny V is as the referee threatens to award the victory to the Islanders right off the bat if Demolition don’t remove their studded masks and the crowd joins in the 10-count, but they finally take the masks off and Smash has the SILVER! facepaint with red and yellow around the eyes and short hair (still growing in from his NWA run as Khrusher Khrushchev) while Ax has black, red, and blue facepaint… a bit of a different look than they would come to be known for. Smash looks massive here as he starts off by overpowering Tama until Haku tags in and the Islanders hit a double-dropkick on Smash and a double-chop on Ax when he runs in, but Demolition regroup on the floor and Smash muscles Haku back to his corner to tag Ax. Haku battles back and tags Tama as they work over Ax’s arm until Haku tags back in and attacks Ax’s leg, which the Islanders focus on as we go to break.

When we come back, the Islanders wishbone Ax and work over his leg, but Ax finally makes the tag and Smash dumps Tama to ringside before tossing him over the guardrail into the front row. Haku helps Tama back into the ring and Demolition double-team him in their corner, but Tama rallies back with chops and Ax throws him out to the floor while kicking out of a pin attempt. Haku tries to help Tama back in again, but Ax stomps Tama’s head and distracts the ref while Smash goes after Tama on the floor and slugs it out with Haku. Meanwhile, Tama rolls back in and eats a back-elbow from Ax for a two-count as Smash tags in and drops Tama’s throat across the top rope, but Tama fights out of a bearhug, only for Smash to drop-toehold him and tag Ax. Ax drops a double-axhandle on Tama for a one-count and tags Smash, but Tama counters a back-bodydrop attempt with a kick to the face and makes the hot tag to Haku, who unloads on Smash & Ax as the crowd roars. Haku nails Smash with a superkick and tags Tama right back in to drop a double-headbutt on Smash before Tama lands a sweet flying bodypress off the top turnbuckle for a near-fall as Ax makes the save, but Haku comes in to drive him back. While the ref is busy ushering Haku out to the apron, Demolition execute the Decapitation Elbow on Tama and Ax scores the pin to win their MSG debut and herald big things for their future. Good little match too.

– Monsoon enlightens Heenan that Andre The Giant’s weakness at WrestleMania was that he didn’t have the heart to become World Heavyweight Champion, but Heenan argues that Andre had the killer instinct and complains about the Prime Time music (“I hate that song anyway!”) as they play him off to the commercial break. When we come back, the Brain is on the phone with producer Kevin Dunn to request another Fuji video for next week.

– Non-Title: The Rougeau Brothers vs. The Hart Foundation

The Rougeaus are the babyfaces but get booed, while new WWF World Tag Team Champions Hart Foundation are the heels and get booed as well. Now that I’ve seen a few of the old-school Boston Garden house shows on 24/7 and matches from the Garden on Prime Time like this one, I can safely say I hate the Boston fans. No Jimmy Hart since he must have been on the other tour, so Jim Neidhart takes the microphone to announce that since this match was signed before they won the championship, it’s a non-title bout and the crowd boos some more as Monsoon, joined here by Ken Resnick, wonders why they wore the belts to the ring. Raymond wins a pair of lockups over Bret to start so the Hit Man asks for a test-of-strength and twists Raymond’s arm, but Ray reverses it and hits a crossbody off the ropes for a two-count. Raymond armdrags Bret into an armbar and makes the blind tag as Bret shoves him off to the ropes, leading to Jacques dropkicking Bret in the back, Raymond bodyslamming Bret, and Jacques adding a splash off the ropes for two. Bret bails out and Neidhart massages his chest at ringside before tagging in and PULLING DOWN THE STRAPS! Jacques attempts a bodyslam but can’t lift the Anvil, so Neidhart laughs and bodyslams Jacques. However, Jacques reverses an Irish-whip and uses the momentum off the ropes to lift Neidhart and execute a very sloppy bodyslam as Raymond tags back in and they catch Neidhart with a double-fist to the gut, but Bret comes in to distract Raymond and Anvil blindsides him. Neidhart drops Raymond’s throat across the top rope and tags Bret, who chokes away in the corner and distracts the referee while Neidhart chokes Raymond with the tag rope as we go to break.

When we come back, the Hart Foundation continue to maul and choke Raymond in their corner while Jacques keeps running in in a vain attempt to save his brother. Inverted atomic drop gets two for Bret and he tags Neidhart before slingshotting the Anvil in with a big splash on Raymond in a sweet double-team that Monsoon claims they stole from the Can-Am Connection of Rick Martel & Tom Zenk. Bret tags back in and takes his trademark chest-first bump into the turnbuckles when Raymond reverses an Irish-whip, but Neidhart drags Bret on top of Raymond while the ref is busy stopping Jacques from running in and the Hit Man earns a two-count. Bret blocks a rollup by grabbing the ropes, but Raymond sends him sailing over the top with a dropkick and makes the hot tag to Jacques, who gets the Beantown fans behind him by ramming the Foundation’s heads together and unleashing a dropkick on Bret. Fistdrop off the middle turnbuckle gets two for Jacques and he applies a sleeperhold, but Neidhart breaks it up and pounds Raymond in one corner while Bret goes after Jacques in the other. They try to whip the Rougeaus into each other, but the Rougeaus reverse it and the Foundation collide in mid-ring before the Rougeaus hit their flip-splash double-team and Raymond pins Bret while Jacques nails Neidhart with a missile dropkick. Well that was surprising, although the non-title stip should have given it away, and it was a good match. A sign in the crowd says “The Rougeaus Are Fabuleux” and I think that person should have sued Vince for renaming them the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers the following year.

– Monsoon announces that we’ll see a Rougeaus/Harts rematch next week for the WWF Tag Team Championship and Heenan trashes Ken Patera.

– After a commercial break, Heenan introduces a clip from Fuji Chan to whet our appetites for the whole thing next week and announces that it will be his one-year anniversary as “host” of Prime Time Wrestling, but Monsoon promises him nothing as an anniversary gift and hypes Harts vs. Rougeaus and Randy Savage vs. Junkyard Dog for next week’s show before the credits roll.

Afterthoughts: A good show with three solid matches, two stinkers, and some interesting attempts at humor, but I’m pretty sure the matches were all taped before WrestleMania III so it’s hard to get a feel of where they’re going with anything. However, like most post-WM TV shows back in the day, they introduced some new acts such as Demolition, Patera, & Duggan that would go on to varying degrees of success to keep things interesting.