Around The Horn

The Shows:
RAW
Cena should ask Chris Sims what he did about his ruptured spleen:
Yeah ok, I understand that RAW wants to try to spark some interest here in the second coming of the Umaga/Cena match, but a ruptured spleen?? Seriously, WTF!? Nowadays missing up your spleen like that is such a dramatic thing as it was say 20 years ago, but it is still a major injury nonetheless- just ask Tampa Bay QB Sims about that when he lost the rest of his season with that injury. And now having Cena with that “injury” just so he can be the underdog? You already have HBK filling in that role with him versus Rated RKO- you don’t need him doing that skit too. Plus we already know Cena is “Superman”, you drove that scenario down our throats a hundred times already. A spleen? Oy. I agree with Matthew Michaels on this- its hilarious! Speaking of HBK- he fights to keep the DX legacy alive- even though I’d like to see a wild card win the Rumble, does anyone else get the feeling The Heartbreak Kid is gonna win this one? More on this later .

OK I’m just going to say this once more- This whole Donald Trump crap on RAW is stupid. And Vince’s latest obsession here- well it’s kinda gay. Jeff is still staying strong on RAW despite him winning against the lesser partner of MNM. And the Kenny push continues to soar as they now have him going over Carlito. The pre-PPV show was nothing bad- and according to this weeks ratings, it was at least watchable.
Rating: B

ECW
Being level headed about this:
And that is what ECW has been as of late- level headed. From what I’ve seen these past few shows, they really haven’t done anything to make themselves look weaker or make themselves look stronger for that matter- minus the Monty Brown add-on. Which may be good? (I don’t know which way to look at this). Speaking of the “Alpha Male”, from the times I’ve seen him in TNA, I enjoyed him. He wasn’t spectacular or anything, but he was ok. So I thought it was a good move for him and the “E” to bring him on. BUT- what’s with the name change? Cor Von? Marquis? How come this name just doesn’t fit (along with the music by the way)? Keep HIS name, it makes more sense and people know him that way- this is not the way to bring in fans when they see the card and see this name and ask “Who’s this?”

Again the level-headed ECW seems to be working at the very best right now. I’m sorta getting nervous as two weeks ago; they seemed to be teasing a CM turn. I know ECW is weak on the ‘bad’ side of things- but that’s why they brought Brown in. RVD- Sandman- and the rest of the crew are stuck right now in the madness that is the Royal Rumble- so nothing to exciting. I’m kind of disappointed that RVD is where he is right now considering he was the opening match and last week he was the main event. But I’m not shocked.
Rating: B

Smackdown!
Smackdown embracing the “24” side of themselves:
Call it gimmicky or cheesy or whatever you like. But you have to admit that the whole “beat the clock” timed matches of Smackdown lately have been providing some interesting wrestling TV. Yes, WRESTLING TV. I read it somewhere (and forgive me for not remembering where, but) I have to agree that Smackdown is THE wrestling show right now with ECW trailing right behind it. It may have some flaws, but these past two weeks have been interesting.

Plus we now have a new #1 contender as well in the way of Mr. Keeeennnneeedddy, (sorry I just had to do it). I’m not sure how they’ve been booking him against the Undertaker- and if the indications where anything to go by- then I don’t know about a triple threat match of Kennedy, UT, and Batista. To be honest, SD can do a whole lot better in the title scene.
Rating: A-

TNA
WWE all over again!
Ok, well not really- because it was never really any major feud to standout while in the “E” or anything like this but the whole Angle vs. Christian is sort of intriguing. Both are great on the mic- and both can put on a show when necessary, so when it comes down to the impending program that is floating about, I’m all for it. And yes, it may seem like a WWE product being put out- it may actually prove to be a good thing in the long run. Speaking of WWE influence in TNA- now we have Jacquline vs. Gail Kim? And what is it with Christy Hemme being all anti-Christy Hemme? How can you take her serious in her role when she was the one flaunting herself to be on wrestling TV in the first place?
Rating: B

PPV: Royal Rumble 2007
This PPV should be interesting just for the simple fact that this is the first major PPV of the New Year that will set up the biggest PPV of the New Year. As I was saying earlier, I would love to see a wild card take the shot here like CM Punk or even Kenny. But I doubt I’ll see that happening as I don’t see the “E” spending their championship WM ticket to an ECW guy- and Kenny is just too early considering they can put the win to other established players. Other favorites would be Edge and put him in the title match come WM. BUT as things are starting to play out- we may just see HBK take the cake in this one. Not that I’m complaining, but there can be other routes.
Predictive Winner: HBK

As for the rest: The Umaga/Cena match just isn’t compelling anymore as the Umaga/Monster angle is gone by having Cena winning every week and when he pulls out the win this week with a “ruptured spleen” it’ll make Umaga seem even that much more insignificant.

The Extras:
— Putting on the Mask:
CM Punk:
Being the so called straight-arrow that I am, I’m begging you WWECW creative, please don’t do a turn on me now- I have a great fan base who are cheering me for me- because I am the straight-arrow, I’m the guy who has the pepsi tat on my arm- for crying out loud- I have 19 year old Barbie Blank after me!!! PPPuuulleeeze, from the bottom of my heart, I’m on my knees here begging you, don’t do this- don’t ruin my career so fast, not now! Give me a shot first before pulling the carpet from beneath my feet. PPPLLLEEEAASSEE!!!

— The Cheap Shot:
Nothing much on the wrestling front- but I have something simple. T.O shut the HELL UP!!! Sport fans are tired of your antics and you running your mouth all the time. Stop saying you don’t get the ball because Parcells threw it to you a million times, you just failed to catch them. Even though I don’t really care for Bill Parcells much, you just threw your coach under the bus BIG TIME. So be quite, go back to you little world and never talk to us again. Oy, Cowboy fans, I feel sorry for you.

The Wrap-up:
— Football Fix:
Ok, I officially choked when it came down to the Championship round. I picked the Saints and they blew it- I picked the Patriots, and Brady’s comeback magic unfortunately fell short. But there is one shining moment here- Payton Manning has finally made it to the BIG GAME. So even though I was pulling for the Pats, I’m not disappointed that Dungy and the Colts made it in. So needless to say you don’t have to ask who I’m going for.

Super Bowl 41: Indianapolis Colts

— Last Word:
Another football season has come and gone, so when I return in two weeks, I’ll have my final word on the 2006-2007 football season- but since this column is about going around the horn, I’ll have a new sports section to pull out to you all- along with the world of wrestling at it’s fullest. Now it’s time to get back to cracking the books- I swear, one week already in the spring semester and I’m already tired of school.