In Memoriam: I don’t know how many people wrote me about Molly Ivins, like I hadn’t heard. I do have to agree, with one caveat: it’s long past time that us liberals stopped using humor and started going on the assault. Those pandering pitbulls on the right have to be castrated and euthanized. Molly was a terrific writer, incisive, and funny, but those just don’t cut it anymore. That’s why I’m here, folks. Someone needs to use the tough language and tell people like that poetry-spouting tool of the Religious Reich in Moodspins that she not only rides the Short Bus by being in favor of that pandering whore Brownback (I was his constituent, bitch; are you?), but that she’s a talentless cunt as a writer, a superstitious imbecile for believing in Christianity, and an aider and abetter of War Criminals by being a registered Republican and therefore a traitor who should be locked up in the concentration camp that Hitlary will give me to run, etc. By the way, honey, here‘s the perfect gift for you. Enjoy.
You see, we liberals are supposed to be the nice guys, the tree-huggers who live Cruelty-Free Lifestyles and don’t dare strike back because we fear hurting other people’s feelings. Fuck that shit. We’ve taken so much crap from reactionary twit hacks like O’Reilly, Hannity, and that stupid f*cking bitch Coulter (I’m still happy your secret lesbian lover Babs got smeared all over the Pentagon, honey…oh, I so love that phrase. Best thing I’ve ever written, right, JJ?) that it’s long past time to strike back. I’m talking bludgeon, not the shiv between the ribs that Molly and Al Franken mastered. Smash them in the face with all of the stupidity their misbegotten philosophy has wrought. Remember, it’s the Democrats who fought all the wars in the 20th Century, and it’s the Republicans who got us out of them in shameful circumstance. It’s time to get back to the fight, and 2008 is the year to do it.
For some reason, I think Molly would approve of my stand. It wasn’t her way, but her time’s now gone, as is she.
By the way, my father would have turned 80 yesterday. But the f*cker’s dead, so not only am I happy that he didn’t, I also got to save money by not having to throw him some party or something out of some sense of filial obligation. Burn in hell, bastard.
What that has to do with Impact is beyond my guess. After all, Abyss isn’t a shining example of prison reform, is he? Oh, well, on to the show that I spoiled earlier this week…
Match Results:
Austin Aries over Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, Jerry Lynn, and Alex Shelley (Pinfall, Aries pins Lynn, Sabin-ference): Just remember this, Kace: only retards like Woj-Suck use nicknames in their material. So, stuff like (censored) Austin (censored) is right out, got it? As for the match, it was a spot-fest which featured an appearance by Depends. And I’m really, really starting to hate Sabin for the way this is going. Does this have anything to do with the fact that I’m one year younger than Jerry Lynn? Could be.
Yes, we’ve seen Dutt do this a lot, but it’s still great every time
Bobby Roode over Petey Williams (Pinfall, Storm superkick): I think I totally blew any good material I would have had for this match on the spoiler column. And shame on you, Tenay and West, for making absolutely zero reference to Team Canada. There are some of us who won’t forget, you know.
Just some of the special treatment you’ll receive when you fly Air Canada
Samoa Fuckin’ Joe versus A. J. Fuckin’ Styles (Match Thrown Out Due To Need To Have A Clusterf*ck Pimp For The PPV): Before Angle showed up, this was a PPV Main Event. Now, it’s pissed away on Impact in order to feed Angle and Christian. Remember when TNA was proud to have homegrown (or imported from ROH) talent? Now it’s all about Angle and Christian. Still, that’s better than having it all about Jarrett, despite what Burnside insists.
A. J. believed it when they told him the power of Jesus would allow him to fly away from Joe
Angle Developments:
Too Much Information: I’m not going to eat at Buh Buh Ray’s cousin’s restaurant. None of the kitchen workers are wearing effective hair restraints. And after Homicide stuck the one guy’s head in the oven…I’m serious tempted to call the local health department, I really am.
“You’re right, Billy, that’s a great Manning Face!”
In the spirit of compromise, the Democrats said they would willingly send Ron Killings to Iraq in place of the “surge”
So, that’s Impact for you. Remember, if a neocon sees his shadow today, there’ll be six more weeks of war in Iraq.
