Brad Curran has e-mailed me his opinions of me and the show:
You’re a more patient man than I for sticking with the new ECW. I’ve watched it since the relaunch, and hell, I even liked it when Heyman and Big Show were around (I never thought I’d say “I miss the Big Show as ECW Champion,” and yet here we are). This week’s show was way too depressing for me. The Vince and Nitro Girls stuff were about all I could stomach; the latter because I think Layla’s really hot, the former because, shit, at least Vince can be mildly amusing (and good catch on the sad fact they gave ECW, of all things, it’s own Nitro Girl’s rip off. That pretty much says it all as far as how little they understand/give a shit about the old ECW, without Vince’s probable shoot comments).
But the matches were too depressing for words. I don’t want to see Punk, RVD, and hell, even Test, jobbed out, and no one other than Monty Brown (it’ll take me awhile before I get used to his new name) even register for me on the roster, and seeing him do his Impact! routine is not enough for me to give a shit. When Heyman was around, I had hope that things were going somewhere. But now, the hell with it; I have WSX to provide what ECW used to, and with all of this free wrestling on TV, I don’t need to watch another promotion go through the motions like I did WCW all those years ago. Hopefully this new incarnation of the ECW Originals vs. New Breed will give you something to not totally hate. Me, the ECW I’m nostalgic for is even deader than the one you probably are (I came in during the TNN days, so I miss Mike Awesome vs. Tanaka and the endless Super Crazy/Tajiri/Guido matches), so I’m not as emotionally invested. It’s just a shame that they’ve made the show such a total slog. And again, this is without the Big Show carrying the belt.
Best,
Brad
I think a lot of people feel the same way that you do about ECW at the moment and it’s going to show when the quarterly ratings are released. I know I watch ECW from 10:00 to 11:00, but I don’t think everyone is going to ignore the fact that WSX is on at 10:30 every Tuesday night.
Perhaps this competition will be a good kick in the pants of the E to get their ducks in a row when it come to ECW. Maybe not and we’ll see MTV put on a wrestling show that’s more popular than one of the WWE’s shows. Only time will tell.
Updates are in italics
We’re live and tonight we’re looking forward to (that’s a loose term) Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly.
We’re reminded of what happened last week with Vince. At least they care enough about something about this show enough to put together a video.
Here’s a sign I want to see: SABU FEARS THE WELLNESS POLICY
Sandman, Sabu, Balls, Dreamer and Rob Van Vam are in the ring when Vince’s music hits. Balls is sporting a neck-brace from his match/punishment with Umaga on RAW. There goes anyone’s ideas of Rob Van Dam not being included in this whole debacle. Personally, I’d like to see a 5-on-1 beat down, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. The crowd rains down a “you suck” chant on Vince, when he makes fun of the term “Corn Husker”. That’s brilliant Vince.
Vince talks down the ECW originals, calling them “has beens” and “never has beens”. Vince lets up know that most of these men have criminal records and they couldn’t fit in with any other organization. I’m sure Van Dam would fit in fine in TNA Vince. You should let him try. Vince reminds us that he thinks the original ECW sucks, and the five guys in the ring suck too. Funny Vince thinks that the original ECW sucks, but felt good enough about it at the time to raid the locker room for talent and steal the entire feel of the show to fuel his Attitude Era.
Vince then has the balls to call the Originals dinosaurs. This coming from the guy who is considering using Hulk Hogan in Wrestlemania. Seriously people, Hulk Hogan. He flaunts that he’s the boss and that these guys are gonna be in action tonight, but he can’t stomach all of them wrestling. He warns them not to touch the officials and that no one should interfere in any other matches tonight, or else they’re fired. Sorry, or else… YOU’RE FIRED.
commercials.
We’re treated to a promo video for SNITSKY! He’s shaved bald and looks pretty bad ass, and not in a cartoon character kinda way.
Kevin Thorn and Ariel make their way to the ring, if you read WWE.com this week you’d know that Ariel admits to learning her entrance moves on a stripper pole. She’s looking pretty nice tonight in her french maid outfit.
Kevin Thorn over The Yonkers Brawler
No referee to start, but Matt Striker’s music hits, and it appears as if Matt Striker is going to be “calling it down the middle”. Thorn gets some cheap shots on Dreamer to start, and he continues to have the upper hand in the speed, youth and power categories. Thorn gets a rest hold on Dreamer, Dreamer breaks it with a jawbreaker, follows it up with some punches and a neck breaker. Striker refuses to count a sit down spine buster on the account on a “knee injury”. Striker was on all fours when Thorn was able to get a clothesline knocking him back over the kneeling Striker.
Post match, Striker begs off Dreamer and we cut away to Rebecca. She’s interviewing Holly and he says he’s sat back and watched Lashley beat everyone but him. Tonight he’s going to prove why he should be ECW champion. According to Arn Anderson and Dave Finlay, it’s because he’s been on the roster for so long. Not anything he’s done or how he wrestles, just because he’s managed to not be fired for this long.
We’re shown a video showing the softer side of Bobby Lashley. This includes talking to his family and going back to talk at his high school and college. This video is shown because we can’t get a feel for who he is from how he speaks or his actions, just that he’s some bulked up monster. Apparently this is the first of a four part series on Lashley. Syles sounds sarcastic calling his life “fascinating”.
Holy crap bobby lashley’s sister looks JUST LIKE HIM -Matthew Michaels
Lashley has the usual amount of emotion on his face before the match. I wonder if they’re putting this on at 10:25 with the hopes that people are going to want to watch this instead of CHANGING THE CHANNEL AND WATCHING WRESTLING SOCIETY X.
Lashley over Hardcore Holly
Lots of fun tie ups to start the match, with Lashley over powering Holly. Lashley continues the offense with some clotheslines and a hanging vertical suplex. Tazz runs down his credentials as Hardcore Holly gets a breather on the mat.
Holly dumps Lashley over the top ropes to gain some momentum, followed by throwing him into the ring post. Can we go one week without that spot? Holly throws Lashley around outside throwing him into anything he can find (stairs, barrier, posts, etc.). Back in the ring Holly puts on a modified Camel Clutch, the crowd is DEAD of Lashley as he powers out only to get punched back down by Holly.
Now were back to the rest hold/reverse gut wrench with Lashley on the ground. Holly lets that go and goes back to the modified clutch as they focus on a replay of what looks like Holly throwing Lashley a potato. Lashley begins to mount a comeback, but Holly cuts him down again. This time he goes for the legs while Lashley’s on the ground, and the crowd still doesn’t give a shit about this match.
Remember me saying the crowd doesn’t give a shit about Lashley? I said it in the last sentence if you don’t. Well, there are some chants for Hardcore Holly going on.
After what seems like forever, both guys are back to their feet and Lashley hits a bely to belly out of nowhere. Both guys play hurt as the ref goes to a 5 count as Lashley starts assaulting Holly. By now everyone’s watching WSX and I feel pretty alone in the world.
Lashley hits a press slam into a power slam and the match is over.
FUCK BOB HOLLY FOR SANDBAGGING LASHLEY ON THE PRESS SLAM – Dan Hevia
Check the replays, Holly didn’t help Lashley with the press slam AT ALL. So in the match we’ve got one potato to Lashley’s face and he went out of his way to try to make Lashley not look good while finishing the match.
Out comes a freshly shaved and oiled SNITSKY to beat down on Lashley with Holly. Holly says he’s not done, but at the same time Lashley just beat him VERY clean in the middle of that ring. That’s not a disputable win, that’s a conclusive one.
We’re treated to a Wrestlemania promo video, which has been the highlight of this show so far.
Matt Striker is the guest time keeper for this match. Balls makes his way to the ring, neck brace and all. His opponent?
Marcus Cor Von over Balls Mahoney
Cor Von goes after Balls quick with some hard hits to the neck. Car Von rips off the brace and Cor Von continues his attack. Balls manages to get his Balls Punches in before Cor Von hits a swinging neck breaker. Nice TNA chant following the POOOOUUUUUUUNNNNNCE period. The ref calls for the bell after Cor Von has a cobra clutch on Balls for a while, lifting him up and slamming him to the ground.
I half expect Monty to walk out with his cock out because of this music. -Dan Hevia
Up next, God hates me because it’s time for the Extreme Expose
I kind wish that Cor Von would have been given an opportunity to talk.
It’s time for EXTREME EXPOSE and the Nitro Girls are back again. this week Matt Striker interrupts the music for his third appearance of the night. This time Striker is the ring announcer. Just when I was worried about Cor Von not speaking, he’s going to be commentating. Kevin Thorn will be the guest time keeper.
First out is Rob Van Dam, and I swear Striker just rolled his R’s in RVD’s name. Cor Von says that his time is past and everyone’s giving RVD eyes. Next out is Elijah Burke to fight RVD one on one.
commercials
Pulse Glazeris upset I’ve quoted everyone else I was talking to on IM and not him.
I’m not clever, make some shit up. -Pulse Glazer
Elijah Burke over Rob Van Dam
Cor Von on the stick is going to make this match awesome to listen to. We came back from commercial and Elijah has control. RVD battles out of a hold to gain control and eventually hit as a monkey flip, a spinning kick in the corner and a frog splash. Kevin Thorn rings the bell and announces Elijah Burke as the winner. This distracts the ref so Burke can hit a low blow, roll up RVD and get the pin. The “new breed” comes out to attack RVD, which draws out the Originals. The Originals come out on top as the show ends.
The Inside Pulse
So it looks like they’re trying to build to some kind of big match between the New Breed and the Originals. Unfortunately that doesn’t leave much room for people like Test or SNITSKY or Holly outside of an ECW title match. Four matches, and we could have guessed the outcome of each of them when we knew the participants.
- Kevin Thorn over The Yonkers Brawler
- Lashley over Hardcore Holly
- Marcus Cor Von over Balls Mahoney
- Elijah Burke over Rob Van Dam
