The Crucifix – Cracking Counterfeit Pennies

Columns

I haven’t been around in a while due to…well…everything. Just name it and it fits. I’m not going to. No excuses. But boy have I missed you rug rats.

But before I get to writing…

Go Get Some Pulse Wrestling

Or Some Tailgate Crashers

Or Pop One In The DVD Lounge

Shoot Someone With Your Machine Gun Funk

Get Fat With Popcorn Junkies

Fuck I Don’t Know Moodspins

And everything can be found right here…on INSIDE PULSE…DOT COM!

It’s been a while and I feel like I need to catch you guys up to speed on my opinions of the wrestling world. But in a condensed version. Actually, 1 sentence.

NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

Yup, that covers it.

If anything, time has reverted with Undertaker and Shawn Michaels on their way to Wrestlemania. But whatever, wrestling is still fun to watch every now and then…or is it?

In Counterfeit Pennies, Chris Biscuiti, or as I like to call him, Dedos Dos, takes a look at how integrating celebrities and their headlines into the sports entertainment scene is a bad thing.

Specifically, he checks out The Donald/Rosie and K-Fed’s recent involvement on WWE programming.

Hey, I agree that they are horrible skits and generally have horrible results. But whom do they have horrible results for? Not WWE. Not the people involved. No, the bad results are for us REAL, TRUE, GENUINE, BITTER wrestling fans.

Look at it like this: If you think that K-Fed pinning Cena is a bad thing because the champion got pinned by Britney’s estranged beau, then you’ve been smoking too much of the IWC’s crack.

Belts mean nothing. Accomplishments mean nothing. The only person who’s titles and history mean ANYTHING is Ric Flair, simply because he’s 800 and was active and on top when that shit mattered.

Nope, sorry kids. Don’t tell me that matters.

Now in regards to The Donald, this is a smart business move because of the popularity (however declining) on The Apprentice. Hell, over in Reality Dish, half the staff is an Apprentice or a Survivor. Funny enough, none of them Survived Apprentice…HAHAHAHAHAH.

In keeping with the “Ripped From The Headlines” approach, Chris points out the hiring of Matt Striker and the T.O./Sheridan spoof as good uses. I disagree.

1. Matt Striker is useless.

2. T.O/Sheridan/Benjamin/Stratus didn’t do anything to help anyone.

Want an example of stuff that helped people: MIKE TYSON. Him being a crazy sumabitch was ripped from the headlines and drew a bunch of people to Wrestlemania. Some became constant fans.

That is the goal of these kinds of stunts: CREATE A NEW AUDIENCE.

Matt Striker didn’t create a new audience…except for the maybe 20 kids he used to teach. And they’re in the New York City Public School System…they don’t have cable.

T.O…yadda yadda didn’t create a new audience AT ALL.

Tyson did. Donald Trump will.

Why? Because Donald is a businessman and he wants wrestling fans to watch his show so he can get back on top. Vince is a businessman who wants Apprentice people to buy Wrestlemania and watch his shows.

It’ll work, because they’ll make it work.

We, the IWC don’t like it because we’re TOLD to not like it by the big shots in the IWC. Because we’ve been trained to not like anything other than chain wrestling, submission matches and spot fests. We love some Chris Benoit. We aren’t SUPPOSED to like some Trump.

So stop being babies and enjoy everything that is fed to you because if it weren’t for Vince McMahon and his brains…you wouldn’t even be a fan today.

I just hope that we don’t have ApprenticeRVD working for us anytime soon.