There are certain days when you hate your job. The fact that you are stuck in your cubicle entering stupid data on a stupid report for a stupid boss. The idea that you have to spend eight hours serving food to a clientele that still has the chicken wing stains on their shirt from the night before and are all wearing ‘I’m With Stupid’ t-shirts. The notion of having to pump gas in weather that is colder than Rex Grossman in the Super Bowl.
I will be honest. I rarely get that feeling. I generally love writing, but even that can be draining sometimes. And it is just around that time that I get my favorite assignment. The one where I feel fortunate enough to be a writer so that the story is represented in the proper fashion and given the precise amount of attention that it deserves. That story is anything on the greatest reality show contestant of all-time, ‘Boston’ Rob Mariano.
Over the years, Rob has given me a lot to write about. We could talk about the way he basically manhandled the competition on Survivor: Marquesas. The argument that I hear the most often is that he didn’t make the jury. Well, the other side of the argument is that he was outnumbered when he arrived at the Rotu camp. Yes, I know that Vecepia was also in the minority and still managed to do what Rob couldn’t, but the fact is that Rob’s style of play was one that didn’t not allow him to slip under-the-radar. It was in Marquesas that we saw the birth of the Robfather (“fear keeps people loyal”) and Mariano’s visceral style shone through in what was otherwise a pretty forgettable season.
Rob’s next appearance came on the greatest stage of them all. Survivor All-Stars. This was a battle of the best. The players that helped to define the game as we know it. And we all know who came out on top. ‘Boston’ Rob Mariano. It was complete, total, and utter domination as he basically made everyone else in the game look like a pawn. As a child, I saw many big bullies beating up on kids that were much smaller than them. At the time, I thought that this was awful and unfair. Many years have passed since that time when I used to frolic in the playground and I now realize that life is unfair. That is the law of the land and the rules of the jungle. And Rob Mariano basically dominated all the other people that CBS even had the gall to call ‘All-Stars.’ The fact of the matter was that there was only one. Rob controlled every aspect of the game. From the strategy, to the romance, to the physical immunities, to the fish and to the camera, Rob was in charge of it all. Even when his partner was flipped to the other side, Mariano managed to save her and ultimately win her the game. While people will say that Amber ultimately got the money, can anybody make an argument that Rob didn’t win?
It was then time for Rob to venture into his second major reality show, The Amazing Race. The game was nothing like the Survivor games and was basically a test of human fortitude as Rob raced with Amber around the world. Once again, he managed to prove that the context of the competition didn’t matter. He just excelled at everything. He completely revolutionized how the game was played, managing to convince other teams that it was in their best interest not to participate in a competition (allowing himself to get past his one Achilles heel eating), paying a bus driver not to open the back doors where other teams were sitting (using their money!), and generally doing anything to get to the end first. Unfortunately, Romber finished second when an idiot pilot bent the rules to allow Uchenna and Joyce to board a plane that they had no business being on. Like Rob, to this day I maintain that the result of The Amazing Race 7 was manipulated. Rob & Amber were on the verge of the most dominating victory of all-time and it would have made for what producers might have believed to be a boring finale whereas most game purists understand that it would have been the greatest finish in history.
I think most people know that I am a friend of Rob’s and we literally hung out right before he left for the first All-Stars. I have heard many things about how he is a deplorable person and this is simply not the case. Based on first-hand experience, I have seen Rob buy drinks for an entire room full of strangers. I have seen act like a gentleman on many occasions and I can certainly think of many other people who would have done a lot worse with their good fortune.
Now, as Rob becomes the only person to compete on the All-Star editions of two major network reality shows I think it would be a sin to root against him. While Uchenna was quoted as saying this was Rob’s fourth chance at a million dollars, he neglected to mention that there is a reason why Rob has had four chances at a million dollars. And that is because he is significantly more memorable than Uchenna and definitely more memorable than almost any other contestant we have ever seen on reality television.
There is a reason why we called this feature The Amazing Race Boston Rob Week. That is because whenever Rob is on a show, he defines it.
I have heard that Rob & Amber do not do well on the latest season of the show and for that I am very sad. But the fact is that I am, have been and will always be cheering for Rob Mariano. You should be too.
