The SmackDown Report

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I can’t be bothered judging the matches tonight, I’ll just give general comments if I have any. Another recap of the entire WrestleMania Main Events storyline opens the show. Tonight, it’s Shawn Michaels and John Cena against MVP and Mr. Kennedy, as well as Rated RKO against Batista and The Undertaker.

Opening Contest: The Boogeyman vs. Finlay
Finlay attacks Boogeyman during his entrance, sending him spine first into the apron before taking him shoulder first into the steel steps. Finlay sends Boogeyman into the ring and gets forearms to the chest of Boogeyman. Finlay with a kick to the gut of Boogeyman and drops an elbow to the chest before locking in a shoulder claw. Finlay runs into a big boot but Boogeyman runs into a clothesline by Boogeyman for a two count. Finlay grabs the foot of Boogeyman but Boogeyman sends him outside. Boogeyman with clotheslines and an atomic drop to Finlay. Boogeyman gets a thump to Finlay in the corner but misses a splash and Finlay clotheslines Boogeyman from behind. Finlay goes to remove the top turnbuckle padding, but the referee stops him. Finlay goes to use the shillelagh instead, but the referee stops him. The Little Bastard comes out and begins hitting Boogeyman but … a little Boogeyman comes out from under the ring and fights off Little Bastard. Boogeyman hits Finlay with his stick and covers for the three count.
Winner: The Boogeyman

I’m not sure if I like the idea of bringing in Little Boogeyman as a permanent character, but I’d love to see him make the occasional appearance. The crowd went wild for the Little Boogeyman and Little Bastard bit, too.


Recap of Donald Trump on RAW, complete with dramatic music as opposed to circus music.

Second Contest: Deuce w/ Domino and Cherry vs. Brian Kendrick w/ Paul London
Deuce shoves Kendrick to start, which Kendrick replies with some elbows. Kendrick runs into a clothesline by Deuce, before Deuce sends Kendrick face first into his knee for a two count. Deuce locks Kendrick in a full nelson slash crucifix. Deuce drags Kendrick to his feet and punches him back down. Deuce returns to the full nelson slash crucifix. Kendrick gets a boot to the face of Deuce, elbow and dropkick by Kendrick follows. Kendrick with a heel kick, before he comes off the ropes only to get tripped by Domino, so London attacks Domino. Kendrick goes up top but Domino pushes him off and Deuce gets the ‘Crack Him in the Mouth’, the low big boot, for the three count.
Winner: Deuce

Still to come: Cena / Michaels vs. Kennedy / MVP, and Rated RKO vs. Batista / Undertaker.


King Booker and Queen Sharmell’s … uh … At the Movies. They look at the DVD of See No Evil, and Booker says he shall vanquish Kane at No Way Out. Booker and Sharmell simply laugh and says he’s seen scarier movies from the Muppets, with a cute little quote review at the bottom of the screen. King Booker rants in front of the footage with an axe, while Queen Sharmell applauds. The lights go out and go read, scary music begins playing, while Kane’s voice says that there is No Way Out on Sunday. Kane cuts through the set curtains and the royalty run off, scarred. That was cute.

Recap of the 8 Man Tag on RAW.

John Cena reminds us that it’s he vs. Michaels at WrestleMania, and makes sure that Michaels has his back tonight. Michaels says that his only call in life, until WrestleMania, is that nothing happens to him. Meanwhile, Mr. Kennedy and MVP make their way to the ring.


Third Contest: Shawn Michaels and John Cena vs. Mr. Kennedy and MVP
Kennedy and Michaels start, which is one match I’d love to see in a few months time. Lock up and Kennedy forces Michaels into the corner but gets forced off by the referee. Michaels with a headlock into hammerlock, but Kennedy turns it into a hammerlock of his own. Michaels with a hip toss. Michaels tags out to Cena, and Cena gets in a hip toss on Kennedy. Scoop slam by Cena, elbow drop gets Cena a one count. Cena runs face first into the corner, and MVP is tagged in. MVP clubs away at Cena and gets a brief pinfall attempt. MVP with continuous shots to Cena in the corner, and Kennedy is tagged back in. Kennedy with forearms in the corner, but he runs into a big boot and Cena tags out to Michaels. Michaels with an elbow to Kennedy; atomic drops to both Kennedy and MVP. Scoop slam to Kennedy and Michaels comes off with the elbow drop, he begins tuning the band but MVP offers a slight distraction. Michaels goes for the Sweet Chin Music on Kennedy, but Kennedy escapes to the outside as we go to commercials.


We’re back and Michaels is working the arm of Kennedy. Michaels tags out to Cena; the pair get double elbows to Kennedy for a two count. Cena sends Kennedy face first into a pair of boots by Michaels, and Michaels tags in. Kennedy slams Michaels down and tags out to MVP. MVP misses the elbow drop and Michaels gets shoulder blocks to the shoulder. Michaels gets sent outside when Kennedy forces down the second rope, and Kennedy clotheslines him down. MVP gets an arrogant elbow drop on Michaels, some stomps and covers for two pinfall attempts. Kennedy tagged in. Kennedy takes Michaels to the corner and kicks away at Michaels before the two exchange punches, but Kennedy regains the upper hand and foot chokes Michaels before getting a boot to the face of Michaels.

Kennedy covers for a two count. MVP back in, he distracts the referee and Kennedy gets in a cheap shot to Michaels. Michaels begins fighting off MVP and Kennedy but MVP gets a big boot and covers for a series or failed pinfall attempts. Kennedy back in with a snapmare, followed by a sleeper hold on Michaels. Kennedy connects with his rolling Samoan but misses the Kenton Bomb! Cena gets tagged in and sends Kennedy outside. Cena with his backdrop on MVP before he follows with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Kennedy comes in from behind with a steel chair but gets hit with Sweet Chin Music by Michaels! F-U on MVP for the three count.
Winners: John Cena and Shawn Michaels

Kristal Marshall backstage with Long, and reminds him that the Talent Contest is silly. Marshall says that she might do a dance of model for the Talent Contest, while Jillian Hall comes in singing. Hall says that at No Way Out she’ll be rapping. Uh huh. Marshall says she has a hidden talent she wants to show Long, so she removes her top and … yeah.


Video for Dusty Rhodes and the Hall Of Fame.

In his office, Long has seen Kristal Marshall topless. Marshall leaves and Bobby Lashley comes in, wearing a tux of all things. Kennedy storms in complaining about having been put in a tag match, before Kennedy says he’d beat Bobby Lashley for his ECW Championship too. Kennedy tells Long to book Kennedy vs. Lashley for No Way Out, and Lashley tells him to make it happen.

Ashley Massaro makes her way out. Massaro says when she was a little girl she had no idea what she wanted to do, she went to University and got a degree in Communications, but her life changed when she got voted as the Diva Search winner. She reveals her Playboy cover and she looks very good on it, all the while people at ringside take photos. Does this mean it’ll be Ashley against Melina in the Playboy feud?

Still to come: Rated RKO vs. Batista and The Undertaker.


Another recap of Trump / McMahon.

Third Contest: Gregory Helms vs. Scotty Too Hotty
Helms has new music, and it blows hard. And wasn’t Hotty moved over to RAW?! That’s what I heard, at least. Helms attacks Hotty to start and takes Hotty to the corner for elbows and knees. Helms chokes Hotty on the bottom rope before setting him back up in the corner and choking away at Hotty. Hotty with a back drop on Helms, following with a low dropkick. Helms sends Hotty into the corner but Hotty evades the attack and gets the trademark Bulldog. Hotty sets up for the Worm (I can’t believe people still chant that), but Daivari attacks Hotty.
Winner: Scotty Too Hotty

Funaki comes to Hotty’s save, so Noble attacks Funaki and nails the nice double knee gut buster. Shannon Moore even comes out and fights with Jamie Noble, but Helms finishes off Moore. Helms gets attacked from behind by Jimmy Wang Yang. Useless match; the after match conflict was ten times better.


Maryse is in a bath. It’s true! She’s with a fat guy, too … why?

Michael Cole runs down the No Way Out card; Kennedy vs. Lashley for the ECW Championship has been added, while Finlay / Boogeyman has been changed to a mixed tag with Little Bastard and Little Boogeyman involved … no, seriously.

Rated RKO are backstage hyping up the tag team match tonight; Edge says that they’ll make Undertaker and Batista focus on fighting each other instead of fighting Rated RKO.


Rey Mysterio makes an appearance at next week’s SmackDown.

Main Event: Rated RKO vs. The Undertaker and Batista
I like Rated RKO, but their mashup theme majorly blows incase you haven’t figured that out yet. Edge and Taker start in the corner; Taker hooks the arm right away and works the shoulder. Taker goes for Old School very early on but Edge pulls Taker off but Taker lands and turns it into an arm drag of his own, he grabs the arm again and connects with the Old School! Batista tagged in. Batista with shoulder blocks to Edge before he gets a powerslam and knocks Orton off the apron. Batista with his usual spears in the corner, Orton goes to attack him but Batista sends Orton into the corner and continues with his spears. Taker and Batista clothesline Edge and Orton outside as we head to a commercial.


We’re back and Batista connects with a clothesline to Edge in the corner. Orton gets a cheap shot to Batista but Batista sends him into the announcer’s table and throws Edge out as well! Batista spinebusters Edge into the apron but Orton attacks from behind and nails his trademark backbreaker, and Edge follows up with a baseball slide to Batista. Orton gets tagged in and Rated RKO hit Batista with stereo dropkicks, getting Orton a two count. Orton stomps away at Batista. Orton covers but the pinfall is broken by Taker. Edge tagged back in and he punches away at Batista in the corner before tagging back out to Orton. Orton gets Batista in a sleeper hold. Batista gets in a bad sideslam and goes to tag out to Taker, but Edge comes in and hits him with a clothesline.

Orton tags out to Edge, and Taker is tagged in too! Taker punches away at Rated RKO and gets his clotheslines in the corner; Taker goes for a pair of chokeslams but Rated RKO escape. Taker off the ropes with a flying lariat to Edge. Taker accidentally sends Edge into the referee, but hits Edge with the snake eyes and big boot combo. Batista goes into the steel pole by Orton, and Edge hits Taker with a spear! Edge grabs a pair of steel chairs and goes to hit Taker with the Conchairto, but Taker sits up and grabs Edge by the throat! Orton in with a low blow to Taker! Orton grabs a chair and waits for Taker to get to his feet, and connects with a chair shot! Edge covers Taker and a fresh referee comes out, and Edge gets a two count! Batista in with clotheslines and a spinebuster to Orton! Batista goes for the Batista Bomb but Edge spears Batista, only for Edge to turn into a chokeslam by Taker! Tombstone on Edge for the three count.
Winners: Undertaker and Batista

Right away, Cena and Michaels attack Taker and Batista and the show ends.

The Inside Pulse
There still doesn’t seem to be any direction for the show; the three main events of the PPV (Main Event, Booker / Kane, and ECW Championship) all look like they’ll be good, or at least watchable. But the rest of the show looks like it’ll be bland and meaningless. Three weeks ago I thought the show might be pretty good, but right now I’m not even going to bother watching it. Oh well, until next time guys!

Summary — Match Results

The Boogeyman defeated Finlay via pinfall

Deuce defeated Brian Kendrick via pinfall

John Cena and Shawn Michaels defeated MVP and Mr. Kennedy (Cena pins MVP)

Scotty Too Hotty defeated Gregory Helms via disqualification (Daivari interference leads to DQ)

Undertaker and Batista defeated Rated RKO (Undertaker pins Edge)