The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Tuesday Night Titans – October 4 1985

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The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Tuesday Night Titans – October 4 1985

– Special hosts this week: Roddy Piper and Bob Orton.

– First guest: Bobby Heenan, who finally gets some respect on this show. Piper thanks Bobby for getting rid of Andre. So we get an interview with him after the match with Studd in Toronto , as he offers words of warning to King Kong Bundy. Heenan and Piper react with snores and laugh off the idea of Lou Albano managing Andre. Piper, oblivious to time management, keeps talking until the ad break cuts him off in mid-sentence.

– UPDATE! With Lord Al Hayes. The hype for the Wrestling Classic begins, as someone can win a Rolls Royce, if you order the show on this new-fangled system called “Pay Per View”. Sounds like a scam to me, it’ll never fly.

– Next guest: Jimmy Hart, who is a really nice guy according to Piper. He now has apparently intimidated the sound guys into playing applause instead of the usual boos. A rather historic moment here, actually, as Bobby and Jimmy announce a trade: King Kong Bundy to Heenan for Missing Link & Adrian Adonis & cash. I’d say Heenan got the better of that trade, but the cash was enough to make Piper excited when whispered in his ear, so I’d say it’s about even. Jimmy promotes his involvement with the upcoming Wrestling Album, and sings “Eat Your Heart Out, Rick Springfield”, but again gets off by poor time management from Piper and thus we’re robbed of the live performance.

– Next guest: Lou Albano. Piper derides his Manager of the Year award win and trades one-liners with him. The clip this week is Hillbilly Jim getting carried out after getting laid out by King Kong Bundy. Piper and Orton shed some tears over Jim and Piper points out how stupid it was for Jim to try to save Albano when he had a broken leg. And he finally times his monologue to end with the ad break instead of during it.

– More with Albano, as we visit his kitchen and learn about real Italian cooking (“Here, have some wine.” “Oh, well, if you insist…”) and introduces Piper to the joys of spaghetti laced with hot sauce. Hilarity ensues.

– Next guest (as Piper is still hanging onto a sausage from the previous segment) is Junkyard Dog, who finds their culinary misadventures pretty funny. Piper shows a clip of JYD squashing a young Steve Lombardi, and they do a weird, nonsensical interview with Piper dropping insider terms and playing with his sausage. What?

– Next up as the car wreck continues rolling down the track, Uncle Elmer and Cousin Junior. Elmer plugs his wedding and makes fun of Piper’s spaghetti stains, and we get a clip of Elmer and Junior squashing Barry Orton and Jerry Adams. Junior is awful and finishes Adams with a mule kick and butt splash. Piper, still trying to unload the sausage, gives it to Elmer as a wedding gift, but no luck.

– Piper wraps things up by mocking his guests and tries to get Jimmy Hart out to finish his song, but his time management skills still suck and Jimmy is cut off again.

Well, that was certainly…uh…different.