TNR: Total Nonstop Recaps – March 1, 2007

We start this week with a promo from Tomko. Tomko tries to spead, but Christian interupts. Christian refers to Tomko as his son and offers to take him to a basebull game and buy him a dodger dog if he takes out Joe. Well whoo-hoo. Tomko asks what’s really in it for him, so Christian offers him a title shot. Tomko likes this and leaves, after which Chirstian calls him selfish, teasing dissention between the two.

Next, they show a video package on what happened last week between Steiner and Angle.

Opening video. Duh duh…duh duh. DUH…DUH DUH…well…you get the idea.

Mike and Don run down tonights card and show us clips from a brawl that broke out between Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner.

Angle is in the back with Jim Cornette. Corny scolds Kurt for the pre-show brawl, which Kurt doesn’t appreciate. Kurt almost attacks Cornette, but he talks Angle out of it. Kurt says that he can’t be in the same building with Steiner without wanting to hurt, but Corny says that he’ll have to. Angle says that he’s going to do what he has to.

Match 1: X-Division Six Man Tag Team Match
Chris Sabin, Austin Starr, & Alex Shelley V.S. Jerry Lynn, Senshi, & Jay Lethal

Kevin Nash and Sonjay Dutt come down before the match starts and tell Jay Lethal to give us some more “Macho Man” impressions. Lethal reluctantly obliges, but the heels jump him before he can finish, and the match is underway.

Faces clean house to start, with Lethal backdropping Shelley onto his partners on the outside. The faces all hit dives to the outside as Bob Backlund (that’s Mr. Backlund to you) comes down the ramp.

(Commercials)

We come back with Lethal as the face in peril while Backlund does commentary. Backlund idiotically rambles on while the heels work over Lethal.

Shelley and Sabin hit a nice double-team on Lethal that gets 2. Backlund is an idiot. Lethal finally gets some offense in, actually causing Shelley to hit a top-rope senton on Sabin.

Lethal tags in Senshi, who works over Starr with some chops, followed by a running forearm. He then hits Shelley with the downward rounhouse kick, and kicks Starr for good measure.

Sabin catches Senshi’s foot on the second attempt and hits the Cradle Shock. This prompts Lynn to come in and dropkick Sabin. TKO by Lynn. Lynn tries the Cradle Piledriver, but Shelley hits him with an enziguri. Slice #2 by Shelley, who tries the same thing on Lethal, who counters with a backbreaker/downward spiral combo. Starr hits a brainbuster on Lethal and then begins arguing with Backlund, who, for some reason, is helping Senshi to his feet on the outside. Backlund grabs Starrs foot, which allows Senshi to roll him up for 3.

WINNERS: JERRY LYNN, SENSHI, & JAY LETHAL

After the match, Backlund gets slapped in the face by Starr, who fleas. Backlund tries to shake Senshi’s hand, but Senshi doesn’t go for it. Backlund then bows to him, and Senshi bows back. I didn’t know people from Brooklyn bowed, but hey, whatever floats his boat.

Next up we get a video showing how mean Robert Roode and Tracy are to Eric Young. I really feel for the guy, so much in fact that I have revised the lyrics of a song just for him:

Poor Eric,
He’s so fine he blows my mind,
Poor Eric.

You can text to see the winner of the Elevation X match will be at Destination X.

We’re shown a taped promo from Rhino about the match.

(Commercials)

Elevation X promo.

Sting cuts another promo, this time from a coffin ON his death bed. Did I mention that I just can’t wait for Sting vs. Abyss Part 3,123,226 in gimmick match #3,626,982. Cuz’ I REALLY am.

JB tries to talk to Abyss in the back, which he doesn’t like. Abyss beats up the sound guy.

Match 2: Scott Steiner vs. Chase Stevens

Angle attacks Steiner on the ramp and they have to be separated by wrestlers. Back in the ring, Steiner hits a top rope belly-to-belly suplex on Stevens, and that’s all she wrote.

WINNER: SCOTT STEINER

After the match, Steiner gets the mic and cuts a promo on Kurt. This gets Angle out there again for…ANOTHER BRAWL!!! They are separated again, and Jim Cornette scolds Kurt in the ring. Kurt tries to get the ankle lock on Corny, causing him to throw Kurt out of the building.

(Commercials)

Back from the break, wrestlers escort Kurt Angle from the building.

We get a sit-down interview with Chris Harris. He says that his eye may never heal, and that James Storm needs to watch his ass.

Alex Shelley comes down to the ring to unveil his newest production. The new tape turns out to be LAX attacking Johnny Rodz, the man who trained Brother D-Von.

This causes Brother Ray to come down to the ring. Ray talks to Shelley about how he is a little punk for taping something like this.

Kevin Nash comes down, so Ray tells him that this doesn’t concern. LAX attacks Ray, who gets the better of it until Shelley hits him with a low blow. Shelley and LAX beat down Ray while Mike Tenay tells us that Brother D-Von is tending to Rodz and isn’t there. Konnan comes out and cuts a promo while LAX puts Ray through a table.

(Commercial)

TNA Genesis DVD promo.

Ron Killings in…Rambuck. Apparently Killings was injured in the making of this movie. Well, maybe if he would have quit that horrendously disgusting and evil habbit called smoking…nevermind.

Borash is an the back with Joe. Joe says that he will take out Tompko tonight and even the numbers.

The camera then cuts to Abyss, who is about to beat up some one on the staff

Joe confronts Abyss and tells him to stand up for himself.

Main Event: Tomko vs. Samoa Joe

They show Christian Cage in his locker room, watching the match. Tomko attacks to start and hits a clotheline in the corner. Tomko dominates until Joe hits a kick. Joe clotheslines Tomko to the outside and hits the elbow suicida on to the outside, as Christian leaves his locker room.

(Commercials)

We come back and Tomko has Joe in a rear chinlock. Joe fights out, but gets caught in a neck vice. Joe takes control with a flying knee off the second rope for 2. Joe hits the snap powerslam on Tomko for 2. Joe tries the Muscle Buster, but Christian comes down and nails him with a chair, allowing Tomko to pick up the win.

WINNER: TOMKO

After the match, Steiner comes down and they all beat up on Joe until Abyss comes down to the ring and the heels scatter. Abyss then gives Joe the Black Hole Slam as the show goes off the air.

Adrenaline rush, adrenaline rush now.

The Inside Pulse
— Match Results:
Six Man Tag Match: Jerry Lynn, Senshi, & Jay Lethal defeated Chris Sabin, Austin Starr, & Alex Shelley
Scott Steiner defeated Chase Stevens
Tomko defeated Samoa Joe

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