According to MTV.com, the hard-rocking legends of MÃ–TLEY CRÃœE are working on a movie about their lives, but don’t expect a concert film, bassist Nikki Sixx revealed. “It’s a really important story, [but] it’s not the [one] you would think it is,” he insisted. “It’s not really a rock movie â€” I mean, it is â€” but it’s [more] the story of survival. Everybody who reads the script feels an emotional connection to it.” Recent speculation that had Christopher Walken playing Ozzy Osbourne is flat-out false, Sixx confessed. “I think [Walken] had a couple drinks and it got blown out of proportion,” he hypothesized, adding, “I believe, as everyone else believes, that it’s gong to be [cast with] unknowns.”
I’m disappointed, because casting Christopher Walken as Ozzy is the only possible way to make the man creepier. Walken, that is. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to bear witness to the deadpan star in eyeliner and silver jewelry totaling half his body weightâ€¦it may have resulted in a movie truly scaring me for once, albeit unintentionally. Unfortunately, we’ll have no such thing to look forward to; as this is hardly going to be a blockbuster and as such doesn’t warrant exorbitant funding, chances are whoever ends up playing Ozzy will be just this side of passable.
Also, as much as I love Nikki Sixx, I’m embarrassed for him trying to convince people that this isn’t a movie about a band. I have to question who this “everyone” was who read the script and subsequently felt a connection to it. A survival flick it may seem to those who were there, but for the rest of us, it’s a story about seminal glam rockers in late â€˜80s LA- the drugs and banging groupies are incidental. Get over yourself, Sixx. This isn’t going to reach out beyond your target demographic and earn accolades for being something every housewife across the country can â€œconnectâ€ with- it’s going to be a debaucherous tale of rock musicians in their prime. Yes, it’s important- but not in the sense you’re trying to communicate. It’s important to the fans; to your built-in audience. Don’t get a big head about how widely applicable your story really is- I read The Dirt, and even though I laughed my ass off at Mick Mars trying to walk through a plate glass window believing he was dead, I had no emotional investment in the story beyond further understanding the Crue’s impact on rock’n’roll.