Happy Birthday to Me! That’s right. You can send your birthday checks directly to me. I will make sure it gets into the right hands. That being MY hands, of course. Oh yeah, we have some business to handle before I start my BIG birthday party. Lets get to this week’s MTV action…
SUNDAY
No new episode of I’m From Rolling Stone. So nothing to report for this night. Moving along…
MONDAY
The Hills
It’s New Year’s Eve! Old friends are coming back into town, new friends are being made, and current friends are drifting away. Anywhere else that would seem like a lot of drama, but it’s just another night in The Hills of Los Angeles.
Lauren and Audrina have started to become “best friends”. Lauren’s friends from Laguna Beach including Lo from season 1 are also here. Lauren even has a new date named Derek. He is like 7 feet tall and from Colorado. Lauren is just kissing everyone now!
Meanwhile, Spencer wants Heidi to move in with him. Heidi doesn’t know about that yet, but she is at least thinking about it. She forgets to mention it to Lauren, though. Heidi told Lo during the New Year’s Eve party. The whole night Lauren was more interested in hanging out with her old friends and new friend, Audrina, than her current “best” friend, Heidi. She was busy with Spencer anyways, but for the first time, it seems like Heidi was sad that she was being left out in all of the fun. Spencer tries to put down Lauren and make Heidi not so sad that way. I don’t know if it worked or not, though.
Lo eventually spills the beans to Lauren about Heidi and Spencer. Lauren is shocked and Lo digs up a “Laguna word” awkward to describe her telling Lauren about Heidi’s BIG news before Heidi does. Lauren is sure to talk to Heidi about this. My advice is to let Heidi go and live with Spencer. She will come crawling back eventually. Overall, this was a pretty uneventful episode. Sure, there was the Heidi and Spencer moving in news. But that drama got pushed back to next week’s episode. So that should be a lot more interesting. Although, Lauren kissing a GIANT was a little interesting.
TUESDAY
Bam’s Unholy Union
It’s time for Bam’s bachelor party and Missy’s bachelorette party. Bam and his “Jackass” friends go to Las Vegas. Missy and her friends go to Palm Springs. Missy wants Bam to work on his vows while he is gone. HA! Not going to happen.
Bam’s party is sweet! Forget Steve-O, Wee Man, Ryan Dunn, and all of those people. They have a freakin’ bowling alley and a hot tub inside of their hotel room. They take advantage of that by rolling themselves down the aisle and then rolling bowling balls into the private parts of random people. Good times.
Missy ends up relaxing in Palm Springs. She does yoga among other things. Bam has a rock concert and acts crazy. Steve-O does have the line of the night when he says that MTV is “batting 1.000 when comes to relationship shows”. Every couple that had their own show on MTV, eventually broke up after the show went off the air. HA!
A bunch of girls show up for Bam’s bachelor party, but he is already passed out drunk in his bed. He misses all of the action, and I mean ACTION! Bam comes back to tell Missy all about it. Well, he couldn’t remember any of it, but you know what I mean. The wedding is just one week away and Bam still hasn’t written his vows yet!
Two-A-Days
This episode started off a little corny and too “high-schoolish” for me. The girls went to a tarot card reading. And of course, she talks about their current high school relationships. Basically, she tells Brittany and Kristen that they will soon break up with Mark and Charlie. First thing, you don’t need cards to tell you that high school romance rarely works out in the end.
Meanwhile, the guys are working hard in practice. Mark actually gets into a fight with a couple of guys. That is the funniest thing I have seen all season. The coaches quietly break things up and act like nothing happened. Mark got hammered on, though.
Mark ends up buying Brittany a jacket that she had been wanting. But she wasn’t as excited about it as he had hoped. Listen to me Mark. It’s never as big as you plan. They always have to bring something down. It doesn’t help that Brittany mentions the tarot card reading lady. Both him and Charlie think it’s stupid. Although, Mark goes a little too far with his emotions, wishing that lady would die. But I agree with them. It’s just cards.
Time to play some football! It’s the Quarterfinals! It’s Hoover vs. Homewood! Hoover starts off sloppy, but scores the first touchdown. The teams then trade interceptions. Homewood ties it up. Soon after Ross runs for 65 yards and scores one himself. Ross then looks past Brandon twice to throw touchdown passes to Dennis and Charlie. DeJohn is hurt but takes control of the defense. In the end, Hoover wins 37-14! They have to face Vestavia next. One of their bitter enemies. You remember them from earlier this season. As Coach Propst says “they hate your guts!” Should be fun.
WEDNESDAY
The Real World: Denver
Jenn and Tyrie make the decison to tell the people, that they think they are really into and really like, about all of their past sexual relationships. That doesn’t sound like a good idea to me. That’s good on paper and it should work in the normal world. But this is The Real World and relationships on this show are fast and furious and rarely last once the show is off the air. It happens, but it’s rare.
Tyrie is into Jazalle. You may remember that he met Jazalle AFTER he met a girl named Ashley. Apparently Tyrie had sex with Ashley before he got with Jazalle and realized that he liked Jazalle. He wouldn’t be against a threesome, but I don’t think that will happen.
Jenn has more issues. She apparently likes a guy named Jared back at home. Of course, she hasn’t shown it one bit while she has been in Denver. But now Jenn feels guilty for all of things that she has done with Alex. So she tells Jared on the phone. Jenn tries to use the fact that she was drunk as an excuse. Jared says that is no excuse, which he is completely right about. But later Jenn finds out from her sister that Jared has been kissing other girls. Jenn thinks that is a lot worse than having sex with other people. Eh, I think that’s some pretty messed up logic, but it depends on how you look at. The fact is that Jared lied to Jenn and Jenn told Jared the truth. That’s worse than the kissing.
Lucky for Jenn that Stephen’s friend from home, Darnell, is in town. Jenn thinks he is “beautiful”. So she decides to make out with him at home. That’s after she gets drunk, of course. Meanwhile, Jazalle freaks out when she finds out that their waitress at the bar is Ashley. Yep, the same Ashley Tyrie had sex with. This just goes downhill from here.
Jazalle won’t talk to Tyrie anymore and Tyrie leaves the bar to go home. Eventually, Jazalle shows up at their house and Tyrie wants to talk to her. But SHE JUST WON’T LISTEN! I put that in all caps, since Tyrie says that more than once and he is getting more angry by the second! He drags Jazalle into the confessional and he yells at her to listen. She tries to leave, but he yanks her back. Here comes Jenn and Jazalle’s cousin to try and get into the room, but Tyrie pushes them back and we have a TO BE CONTINUED… Of course, it looks like Tyrie is ready to explode, but I doubt that would happen. He already did that once and I think he learned his lession. Who knows, though. We’ll find out next week!
Road Rules: Viewer’s Revenge
We started off this week by looking at “The Pit” competition. Adam volunteered to go in from the RV. The viewers voted Monte to face him. They compete in a challenge called “Balls Out”. Basically, they have to play a game of basketball, while attached to each other’s ankles. They have to toss their colored balls into a goal on opposite ends. Whoever makes the most baskets in two minutes wins. It looks close, but in the end, Adam wins!
Remember last week when Angel was contradicting herself and being absolutely retarded. Well this week she apologizes to Kina and the drama seems to be over. She knows she better start being a part of the team or go home! The gang then heads to Arizona for Spring Break. They are going to Lake Havasu. Cue the drunk college girls flashing their naughty bits.
Time for the next mission. If they lose this mission, it will be the second time. That means that they have to put two members of the RV into “The Pit”. Well that explains things a lot better than last week when I don’t think they mentioned that at all. This mission is called “Beach Blast”. They have to be launched over the lake by a giant slingshot. Two people will be laying on some rafts out in the water. The people flying through the air will try to throw balls to the people on the rafts. In the end, it all comes down to Angel. AND Angel doesn’t come through for the team! She didn’t get the last ball to Adam!
As a result, it’s time to vote two people into “The Pit”! Cue the evil music. Angel thinks the volunteer system is “wack” if she gets sent into “The Pit”. It should be Tori’s turn or something. I haven’t kept track or anything, but that doesn’t seem right to me. After some arguing, it ends up being Angel voted into “The Pit” anyways. Good thing too. Lets see if she can win again and EARN a spot back on the RV! A guy has to be nominated for “The Pit” as well. Shane steps in and goes for the guys. So there you go. Stay tuned for some extra special stuff on Road Rules in the NEAR future!
THURSDAY
Juvies
This episode featured another two juveniles. One was a 17-year-old boy named Steve. He is in juvie for drinking alcohol and running from the cops when they busted him at a party. He has been in trouble with the law before. He been charged with battery among other things. The other juvenile was another 17-year-old boy named Javier. He actually smiles for his picture. He is in juvie for robbery. He and his friend drove around and broke into a random house. The cops caught them.
Steve is a football player. Apparently, he has a big football scholarship. Of course, they don’t like criminals playing on college teams. The NFL maybe, but not college. His mom and sister visit him and Steve doesn’t want them to see him like this. They tell him that he is in for 30 days, since this is not his first time getting in trouble. Javier comes from an immigrant family. His parents are really disappointed in him. They say that being a “thief” is embarrassing and disgusting.
It’s judgement time! Javier goes first. The judge grills him about his family and needing to help them instead of being in jail. In the end, the judge lets him go home, but he will have an ankle bracelet on to monitor where he goes and with who. Steve’s turn now. He tries to convince the judge that he should go home. His mom gets on the stand and argues with everyone. That doesn’t help his case. In the end, though, Steve gets the same thing as Javier. He gets to go home with an ankle bracelet to monitor him.
Javier spent five weekends in juvie for burglary. He hasn’t gotten in trouble since then, though. He is now off of house arrest and back in school. Steve was sentenced to 10 days in juvie, which he served over Spring Break. He is now back on the football team and staying out of trouble as well. He is a senior in high school and will soon go to college.
And that ends the 33st volume of the “MTV Mix”! If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or feedback of any kind..send them my way!! And if you want to send me a birthday check, feel free!
I’ll see you next time when we mix things up a bit!
