It’s been a bad week. I’ve lost the copy of Ultimate Spiderman which I was going to look at for Retrograding, and I got home this morning reeking of beer and smokes. So much beer. And, of course, there’s a heap of work I have due for class … sigh.
Anyways. Open up with Batista on Miz TV. What a fun way to open SmackDown. Remember back when Mizanin looked like he might actually be on the verge of having an alright career? Mizanin hypes the WWE Magazine interview with Batista and says he doesn’t think Batista can stop the Undertaker. The lights black out but when they come back on, it turns out to just be a trick by Mizanin. As usual, being the ever so fantastic talker that he is, Batista hits Mizanin with a Batista Bomb.
Tonight: King Booker against The Undertaker. Oh, gee, yay.
Commercials.
Opening Contest: Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy
Kennedy gets a headlock and Hardy turns it into a hammerlock, Kennedy with a snapmare but Hardy keeps the hammerlock applied until Kennedy gets to the ropes. Kennedy takes Hardy to the corner for knees to the gut, in another corner he gets some stomps in. Hardy gets a clothesline in before he spears Kennedy to the outside.
Commercials.
We’re back and Kennedy is suplexing Hardy into the ring from the apron. Kennedy gets a facelock on Hardy, Hardy gets out of it by punching away at Kennedy but Kennedy whips him into the corner only to run into a boot by Hardy. Yodel double axe handle by Hardy on the back of Kennedy’s neck. Hardy gets a clothesline and goes for the bulldog but Kennedy pushes Hardy into the corner and clotheslines his leg from behind. Hardy goes for the Twist Of Fate but Kennedy hooks the knee and nails Hardy with a nice knee breaker for a two count, before hitting Hardy’s leg against the apron. Kennedy sends Hardy’s knee into the steel pole a few times before setting him up for a clothesline, getting Kennedy a two count. Kennedy sets Hardy up in the tree of woe and goes after Hardy’s knee before hitting Hardy with a back drop off of the turnbuckles.
Kennedy hooks in an Indian deathlock, and Hardy eventually flips it over and reverses the pressure but Kennedy quickly gets to the rope. Kennedy goes up top and misses the KenTon Bomb. Hardy gets in some clotheslines and a Russian leg sweep before he climbs up to the second turnbuckle and gets a leg drop to the back of Kennedy’s neck, Hardy covers for a two count. Hardy goes for the Side Effect but Kennedy fights him off and goes for the knee but his kick misses and Hardy connects with the Side Effect this time for another close two count. Hardy with a headlock of all things, Kennedy grabs the leg of Hardy and goes for another knee breaker but Hardy flips over with a sunset flip – Kennedy drops on Hardy’s chest and covers for a close two count. Hardy up into a low dropkick by Kennedy, Kennedy kicks the face of Hardy directly for a two count. Kennedy goes for the flipping Samoan but Hardy grabs onto the ropes, falls down and hits Kennedy with the Twist of Fate for the three count!
Winner: Matt Hardy
Hey, good match. These guys work well together. Seven out of Ten.
Still to come: Undertaker vs. King Booker.
Commercials.
Kennedy has a go at Kristal Marshall, saying his lost to Hardy hasn’t affected him – because he’s going to go and win that there Money In The Bank match.
Second Contest: Montel Vontavious Porter vs. El Grande Latte
If I remember properly, this may just be the first time I’ve ever not recapped a match. I’m not in the mood for squashes right now.
Winner: MVP
On the upside, MVP’s slowly improving but he’s still incredibly annoying in every way. -Three out of Ten. MVP afterwards wants a United States title match at WrestleMania; Theodore Long gives him his match before Benoit comes out to the ring and the two fight.
Next week’s RAW: John Cena vs. Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels vs. JBL. Both should be good, and this WrestleMania Reversal idea is cool. JBL says he has something in store for Michaels on RAW.
Commercials.
Melina vs. Ashley Massaro for the Women’s Championship is official for WrestleMania. Should be interesting.
Third Contest: Ashley Massaro, Brian Kendrick and Paul London vs. MNM
Why don’t they just have London and Kendrick vs. MNM at WrestleMania? Certainly wouldn’t hurt. Kendrick and Mercury start. Mercury with a headlock, gets pushed off into the ropes and back with the tedious shoulder block routine. Kendrick with an arm drag into arm bar on Mercury; London in with a double axe handle to Mercury, Kendrick in with an elbow to Mercury’s arm, and London back in with a top rope stomp to Mercury’s arm. Kendrick and London nail Mercury with a double flapjack, Nitro in only to get hit with a double hip toss. Massaro tagged in, Melina enters and the two get ready to fight before Melina tags out to Nitro. Kendrick throws Nitro into the ring. London and Kendrick go for a double team on Nitro but Mercury drags him out of the ring, so London and Kendrick get a suicide dive and flipping senton to MNM.
Nitro runs into an elbow by Kendrick but Melina gets a kick to Kendrick’s gut and Mercury snapmares Kendrick out of the ring through the second rope. Nitro drags Kendrick back in for a two count. Nitro gets a facelock on Kendrick but Kendrick turns it into an arm drag and tries to tag out to London but Nitro catches Kendrick and spinebusters him into his corner. Mercury in with a spear to the gut of Kendrick. Nitro tagged back in, he and Mercury get a double team gutbuster on Kendrick. Mercury distracts the referee and Melina chokes Kendrick against the bottom rope. Mercury back in and the pair nail Kendrick with a face plant, Mercury covers but London breaks the pinfall.
Nitro with an interesting headlock but Kendrick looks to be about to escape, so Nitro uppercuts Kendrick out of the ring. Nitro takes Kendrick back into the ring, elbow drop for a two count. Nitro puts Kendrick in a bodyscissors, Kendrick escapes and the two both connect with crossbodies. Mercury tagged in and he is quick to knock London off the ring apron, Kendrick accidentally knocks Mercury into Massaro – knocking her off the apron as well. London tagged in! London with clotheslines, elbows, dropkicks, hurricanrana to Nitro and so on. Dropsault by London, he covers Mercury but Melina breaks the pinfall. Massaro comes in to fight off Melina but the referee holds her back, Melina with a low blow to London – Snapshot to London ends it.
Winners: MNM
Okay, so, Massaro and Melina didn’t do anything really and yet it’s their match they were promoting? Okay, so they got Melina over as a heel but did pretty much nothing for the woman who’s rumored to be thought of as the next face of Women’s Wrestling? Right. You all know I love me some MNM vs. London and Kendrick, anyways, but this one not as much. Six out of Ten.
Later: Undertaker vs. King Booker
Commercials.
King Booker and Queen Sharmell are in their royal locker room; Finlay walks on in asking if they’ve seen Hornswoggle. Booker asks Finlay about The Undertaker, as if he hasn’t faced Undertaker several times before, and Finlay yells at Booker to run. Booker and Finlay leave, and Hornswoggle enters the room with a beer – telling Sharmell to kiss him, he’s Irish. Sharmell runs off, Hornswoggle drinks beer, and I wonder what the purpose of that segment was.
Celebrities I’ve never heard of talk about the McMahon and Trump stuff. The only person in this entire thing I know is Jason Alexander. The Tale of the Tape for the pair is incredibly weak, by the way, and it amazes me how petty the Rosie O’Donnell shot is. Long video recaps the long segment between these guys on RAW.
Commercials.
Fourth Contest: Daivari vs. Kane
Nice to see they remember Daivari and Khali’s history. Kane pretty much destroys Daivari, not surprisingly, even hitting Daivari with a chokeslam on the steel steps. Kane looks under the ring and pulls out the See No Evil hook, wraps the chain around the throat of Daivari, and drags Daivari all the way backstage.
Winner: No Contest
-Five out of Ten. Why, oh why, do they have the hook? The chain can be used but the hook can’t do anything without someone getting hurt badly, at least in the ring.
Commercials.
Backstage, Kane takes Daivari into a red room.
Mr. Fuji is in the Hall of Fame.
Batista makes his entrance.
Commercials.
Main Event: King Booker w/ Queen Sharmell vs. The Undertaker
Booker with rights to start but Taker knocks him down. Booker rolls onto the apron and Taker elbows him in the throat. Taker goes to send Booker into the steel steps, Booker stops it and goes to hit Taker with them but Taker sends Booker into the steps. Back in the ring, Taker gets a quick pinfall attempt. Taker works the arm of Booker and goes for Old School but Booker stops him and elbows Taker in the face. Taker with a big boot and elbow drop for a two count. Taker hits the Old School and gets a DDT shortly after for a two count. Taker clotheslines Booker out of the ring before he sends Booker into the time keeper’s position. Taker and Batista stare down, Taker goes to return to the ring but Booker knocks him off the apron and into the announcer’s table.
Commercials.
We’re back and Booker is in control, hitting Taker with a sideslam for a two count. Booker with shots to Taker’s lower back before Taker sends Booker outside. Taker with a headbutt to Booker and a knee to the gut before he positions Booker on the apron and kicks him in the head. Booker blocks a suplex attempt and gets knees to the head of Taker before connecting with a superkick for a two count. Booker gets Taker in a headlock which Taker escapes with punches; Booker ducks a clothesline and comes back off the ropes with an elbow to Taker for a two count. The two exchange rights but Taker gets the better of the situation after he hits the snake eyes and big boot combo. Taker sets up for the chokeslam but Booker kicks him in the gut; Taker avoids the Scissors Kick and clotheslines Booker. Taker goes for a Tombstone but Booker falls behind Taker and kicks Taker down for a two count. Taker goes for the Last Ride but Finlay runs in and attacks Taker with the shillelagh!
Winner: The Undertaker
Booker and Finlay continue the attack on Taker, Taker fights them off and throws Finlay into Batista! Chokeslam to Booker in the ring! Well, this was there but certainly not as boring as some of their previous matches. Three out of Ten. Oh, and Batista is annoyed in the middle of the ring while Taker celebrates at the entrance way.
The Inside Pulse
Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy: 7/10
MVP vs.: Latte: -3/10
MNM vs. Hooliganz and Massaro: 6/10
Kane vs. Daivari: -5/10
Undertaker vs. King Booker: 3/10
SmackDown 16/03/07: 8/50
Not a bad show but certainly not the quality I’d expect in a pre-WrestleMania show. It’s another step in the right direction for SmackDown, though.
Summary — Match Results
Matt Hardy defeats Mr. Kennedy via pinfall
Montel Vontavious Porter defeats El Grande Latte via pinfall
MNM defeat Brian Kendrick, Paul London, and Ashley Massaro via pinfall (Mercury pins London)
Kane and Daivari go to no contest
Undertaker defeats King Booker (Finlay interference leads to disqualification)
