From the UK Vs The SmarK Rant on Wrestlemania III

Well I was thinking of a special feature I could do with Scott Keith here on IP for Rumblemania and I thought of the idea of a tandem rant. Basic principles here are that one of us does the PBP on a match and then we both comment on it at the end. Of course this one is a little different because Scott has already done a whole rant on the show and I’m just adding my opinions to the whole thing. But, if this gets a good response we may end up doing one together, who knows? This does give me the glorious opportunity to play the Beefcake to his Hogan though, or should that be the Bulldog to his Owen? Anyway, being the brazen Scott suck up that I am I may find it hard to disagree with my idol and hero but I’ll give it a shot if nothing else.

You can find Scott’s updated version of his Wrestlemania III rant here. Here are my thoughts…

Martel and Zenk Vs Muraco and Orton
Well Scott pretty much got this one bang on the money for me. By no means a classic, this is still a very peppy little match and the crowd reactions for Zenk and Martel were something to behold. It’s a shame that Zenk flew the coop before they could really get anywhere but that’s life as they say. At least we got the awesome Pillman/Zenk team out of it in the long run though.
** by my watch
Scott – **

Hercules Vs Haynes
My opinion of Hercules was that he was a decent enough worker and always knew what he needed to do to get a crowd reaction but most of the time his matches were just tediously dull. He got much better when he became a face and got beaten up, rather than him doing the beating. This one just didn’t do it for me. I can appreciate the psychology of trying to get the Full Nelson but that doesn’t mean it was fun to watch them try and lock it in. plus, the ending sucked and thus negated the match story. Why build a match up on both guys having big submission moves and then do a lame double count out?
* – for me
**1/4 – Scott

Hillbilly Jim and his midgets Vs King Kong Bundy and his midgets
Oh God this was torture. Although it was perversely funny seeing Bundy being group attacked by a bunch of midgets.
½* – Me
Scott – ½*

JYD Vs Race
I just want to point out that JYD did adhere to the rules of the match because he curtseyed to Race before attacking him. All the rules said were that the loser had to bow, it didn’t stress anything else after that. Of course you could be all arsey about it and argue that the rules said bow and JYD did a curtsey which meant he didn’t adhere to the stips but then we’re getting off on a tangent and the rules in wrestling are made to be broken anyway. As for the match, I was kind of digging it a little more than Scott was but I agree that there was hardly enough time to tell a truly satisfying story. Still, I respect Race for putting a Herculean attempt in to get this at around ***. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be, and Race would soon have his career ended by Hogan and ended up managing Vader. It’s funny to watch this show and see how many of the guys on it were all in WCW even 3 years later.
** – Me
Scott – *1/2

The Rougeau Brothers v. The Dream Team
Ah The Dream Team could always be counted on to spruce up a show but they were given so little time here it was insulting. Hardly the classic they had the year before with The Bulldogs, but then little is. Given more time this could have been at least **1/2 but sadly it was not to be. Still, the angle at the end was very important to events later in the show. I’m going to agree with Scott’s rating here anyway.
Me – *1/2
Scott – *1/2

Piper Vs Adonis
This is truly one of the best feud endings you could ask for. On Scott’s recommendation I went on Youtube to check out the build up for this match and it was awesome. In fact it went beyond awesome at a certain point and became so awesome that you just can’t describe the level of awesome in words accept to say that it was really, really, um, AWESOME. The match itself wasn’t a technical masterpiece but who gives two flying f*cks on a Sunday? Crowd heat was off the charts and it also lead to Brutus Beefcake getting the gimmick that set the table for him becoming a big singles star. This is how you blow off a feud in style, with the heel getting their just deserts and the face standing tall. As far as a rating goes I’m not sure where to lay my hat. As Scott said the wrestling was ** but the execution was ***** so lets just say *** and have some cake shall we?
Me – ***
Scott – **

The Hart Foundation and Danny Davis Vs The British Bulldogs and Tito Santana
Oh boy, four of my favourite wrestlers in the same ring at the same time. Those of you who have been following my rants know that I’m definitely a big Bulldog mark, due to them having the perfect combination of being BOTH British and ruling it so hard that they stopped ruling at a certain point and crossed the line into super ruling um nevermind. Anyway, to the match which, not surprisingly, kicks arse like a government mule on steroids. Davis has a great character but wasn’t that hot as a wrestler but it didn’t matter here because his job was to get beaten to a quivering mess by The Bulldogs and Tito, which they actually delivered on too so I’m not complaining. The ending was mucho cheapo but it fitted well into the story and the body of the match was good enough for me to forgive it. Scott had it at *** but I’ll just be annoying and add an extra ¼* on there just to be difficult
Me – ***1/4
Scott – ***

Butch Reed Vs Koko B Ware
I never thought Koko was that great a wrestler and this one was just pointless filler sandwiched between two vastly superior matches. As for the whole “Reed was supposed to get the IC Title” argument I’ve read accounts arguing both sides but I’m pretty sure that Scott had that one right if only because I’ve seen Honky Tonk Man interviews where he says that he was told Reed was going to get it but they were going to run with him instead. I’ll agree with Scott’s rating here anyway
Me – *
Scott – *

Randy Savage Vs Ricky Steamboat
Okay, here’s where I get hate mail. Now this match is definitely a good match, there’s no questioning that, but I just can’t give this ***** and I’ll do my best to explain why. One of the problems I personally have with this match was that Savage really didn’t work the throat enough for me. Savage should have been on that like a shark smelling blood but I just didn’t get the feeling that he was. Sure, there are points in the match where he targets it but my opinion is that Savage should have been trying to rip Steamboats entire throat off at every opportunity. He should have kicked, punched, choked and done whatever was necessary to damage the throat of Steamboat. I just wasn’t feeling the urgency for Savage to rip out Steamboats voice box or for Steamboat to keep fighting, despite unmatched pain and agony, to finally get a last gasp win at the end and the belt. I was expecting a huge grudge match here but it never really felt like that when I watched it and that hurt the match in my eyes. I think Savage had much more intense matches with Ultimate Warrior and Ric Flair at Mania’s VII and VIII, and this one just didn’t FEEL intense to me. This is all just my opinion and I think it’s a valid one, although if you want to send me emails decrying it then that’s fine, just keep em civil. Anyway I’m still giving this ****1/4, because as I said it’s a very good match but it didn’t feel epic enough or intense enough for me to give it the full whack.
Me – ****1/4
Scott – *****

Jake Roberts Vs Honky Tonk Man
God I bet these guys were just THRILLED to follow Steamboat/Savage don’t you? Good match too, considering the time constraints. Alice Cooper being in Jake Roberts corner was a nice touch as well and Scott was bang on the money when he said that the WWE have lost their touch when it comes to celebrity appearances. I’ll go with his rating too
Me – **1/2
Scott – **1/2

Sheik and Volkoff Vs The Killer Bees
Man I loved the Killer Bees and then were a solid mid card tag team. It’s hard to believe that the WWE once had more than 4 regular tag teams isn’t it? Jim Duggan acting like the xenophobic jerk he is always a site to be seen. It’s weird because when I went to see a WCW show in March 2000, Duggan was facing Fit Finlay yet we all still chanted “USA” for Duggan, which was just stupid on so many levels. Anyway, the match itself was running along just nicely until they decided to ruin it with a Duggan run in and I’ll once again agree with Scott on the rating.
Me – **
Scott – **

Hulk Hogan Vs Andre The Giant
Come on it’s the match that defined an era! Shame it sucks isn’t it? This match is not exactly the greatest match of all time but I think they did a great job of working around Andre’s deterioration to put on the best match possible. As a match you’d be being overly pleasant to give them * but as a spectacle it was something to behold. I’ll be a little more generous than Scott and go ¾* but his comments were bang on if you ask me.

The Inside Pulse
So Wrestlemania III, one of the biggest shows in the history of wrestling. This is a monumental show for numerous reasons and it is something you just HAVE to see. As a show it’s a more than adequate use of your time but as a spectacle it’s one of the bets shows you’ll ever see. You can probably get it on Amazon now for a pittance so go and buy it. I hope you’ve enjoyed me and Scott teaming up for this and I hope we can do this again sometime. I also want to thank Scott for throwing this dog a bone, God bless your sir.

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