The SmarK 24/7 Rant – WWF Boston Garden show, March 7 1987
– Yeah, it’s all about the build to Wrestlemania III this month, and this is no exception. This one leaves in about 2 hours, so I figured I might as well get ‘r done.
– Taped from Boston (duh)
– Your hosts are Gorilla & Jimmy Hart.
Pedro Morales v. Jimmy Jack Funk
Pedro starts on the arm with a wristlock takedown and a hammerlock, but Funk bails to escape and jaws with the fans. Funk wants a test of strength, but Pedro just slaps him, and we get more stalling as Funk bails again off a punch. Back in, and he immediately bumps out again. Good lord. Finally the match actually starts, as Funk gets a cheapshot in the corner and stomps away, and now it’s Pedro’s turn to leave the ring for a bit. Funk uses MORE COWBELL on the way back in and Pedro is in trouble, so Funk drops an elbow for two. We hit the chinlock and Funk uses the ropes, which gives me a chance to wonder: What the hell is with Funk’s leggings? Real men, especially Texans, don’t wear knee socks. Shoulderbreaker sets up a middle rope elbow, but it misses and Pedro fires back. Nice backdrop suplex into a backbreaker gets the pin.
(Pedro Morales d. Jimmy Jack Funk, backbreaker — pin, 7:26, *1/2) Typical kicky punchy jobber match to open things.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Moondog Spot
This was Duggan’s first go-around, before pulling an RVD and getting fired for having pot in his car on a routine traffic stop. Putting both of these guys into the ring at the same time opens up a whole area of debate on who is uglier, a question that I don’t know can ever be answered. Duggan gets an atomic drop and slugs away in the corner, and Spot runs away. Run, Spot, run! Back in,Spot grabs a headlock, but Duggan clotheslines him, so Spot regroups and fires back with a kneelift out of the corner, and then drops a knee from the middle rope to set up a chinlock. They trade hairpulls and Duggan loses that battle, as Spot continues slugging away. Duggan finally comes back with a slam and knedrop, and Spot begs for mercy. That gets him nowhere, as Duggan shoulderblocks him to set up the three-point stance to finish.
(Jim Duggan d. Moondog Spot, clothesline — pin, 6:17, 1/2*) Duggan was awful as usual, although frankly I’m shocked Vince didn’t try to repackage Spot as something else, because shaving off the beard and hair would have totally altered his look.
– For some reason, Bobby Heenan takes over on commentary from Jimmy Hart here.
Jerry Allen & Danny Spivey v. Don Muraco & Bob Orton
Wow, nothing like replacing Mike Rotundo with a jobber. I’m sure Spivey was thrilled. Muraco, not impressed either, asks Bobby if he should beat Allen with a piledriver or leave him for Orton to finish with the superplex. Nice. Spivey slugs it out with both heels to start, and takes Muraco down with an armdrag. He holds onto the arm for a bit, and brings in Allen, who gets a crossbody for two. They trade off on the arm until Muraco tags out to Orton, and he gets worked over by the arm as well. However, Allen tags in one time too many and gets brought into the heel corner, where Muraco gets a russian legsweep for two. Dropkick from Orton gets two. Spivey gets the semi-hot tag and noggins are knocked, and a slam on Muraco gets two. He walks into a kneelift from Muraco, however, and the heels double-team him with an elbow into an Orton fistdrop, for two. Spivey comes back with a shoulderblock on Muraco, but Fuji trips him up and he falls out of the ring while tagging Jerry Allen back in. Yeah, I wouldn’t put much faith in Allen saving the day. He fights off the heels and gets a jumping elbow on Muraco, but tries a crossbody and gets dropped on the top rope. Double clothesline and Orton finishes with the superplex, as promised.
(Muraco & Orton d. Allen & Spivey, Orton superplex — pin Allen, 11:57, **) Really quite long and there was never any serious heat segment, but it was technically fine.
SD Jones v. Ron Bass
Ah, the squash parade continues. Jones tries overpowering Bass to start and gets nowhere, so he goes with a headlock instead. Criss cross and Jones catches him with a slam, which gives us some stalling. Back to the headlock and Jones tries a sunset flip, which gets two after some suspense, and he goes back to the headlock yet again. Bass rolls him over for two and then drops an elbow to take over, and with subtlety out the window he tosses Jones and rams him into the post before going with some choking. Slam back into the ring gets two. And we hit the chinlock. With that having failed, Bass goes to an abdominal stretch, but Jones escapes and uses the headbutt to come back. Blind charge misses as Bass casually dodges him, and he goes back to stomping and choking as the crowd goes back to sleeping and yawning. Hammerlock slam and he starts working the arm, but Jones slugs him down and headbutts him for two. Bass fires back with a jumping elbow and gets the pin. Thank god.
(Ron Bass d. SD Jones, elbow — pin, 10:58, *) Total nacho break.
World tag team titles: The Hart Foundation v. The Rougeau Brothers
OK, this is more like it. Bret starts out with Jacques and hides in the ropes, then offers a free shot while standing in front of Neidhart. Finally Jacques bites on one of Bret’s tricks, as he goes for the test of strength, and Bret boots him down. Jacques counters with a takedown, and Bret bails and regroups. Over to the Anvil, who goes with the power, but Raymond comes in and actually wins a lockup battle, which leads to the Rougeaus double-teaming him in the corner. Anvil retreats and brings Bret back in, but he misses an elbow and Raymond goes to the arm. Bret blocks a rollup, but walks into a crescent kick, and Jacques comes in for some double-teaming on the leg. Bret tries to counter with a monkey-flip, so Jacques kicks him in the leg to block it and they go back to the leg again. Neidhart comes in and Ray takes a shot at Bret on the apron, and that of course allows Neidhart to hit him from behind and take over. Back to Bret with an atomic drop off a totally legal and real tag, and Anvil uses the tag rope for the purpose it was intended. Neidhart comes in and hits the chinlock, but Ray gets a sunset flip for two, until Bret clobbers him to break and tosses him. Jimmy Hart runs interference with the ref while Danny Davis gets his cheapshot in on the floor, and Ray heads back in. The Harts switch off and beat on him in the corner, and Neidhart goes to a bearhug, but some cheating draws Jacques in to distracts the ref long enough for more cheating. Bret backbreaker gets two. Blind charge hits knee, however, and it’s the false tag to Jacques. Heel miscommunication results, however, and the real tag follows. Jacques brings Bret down with a chop and drops a fist from the middle rope, then hiptosses him into a short-arm scissors and rolls him around the ring. That’s unique. Anvil breaks it up and it’s BONZO GONZO, which sees the Harts collide and things are looking bad for them. The Rougeaus set up to finish, but stop to take care of Danny Davis and that allows Anvil to save. Jacques rolls up Bret, but Davis pushes them over and the Harts retain to HUGE heat.
(The Hart Foundation d. The Rougeau Brothers, Bret small package — pin Jacques, 14:53, ***1/2) Classic Hart Foundation in their heel prime.
Elimination tag match: Hulk Hogan, Billy Jack Haynes & Roddy Piper v. Adrian Adonis, Hercules Hernandez & Paul Orndorff.
This is the same match from the episode of PrimeTime I did a few weeks ago, so we’ll just copy and paste. Keep in mind that was pre-Survivor Series, so the ring announcer actually had to explain the rules. Had they ran this match at a house show back then, I would have been THERE. Actually, they did quite a few similar ones in Vancouver around that time, with Orndorff/Savage/Butch Reed v. Santana/Steamboat/Hogan, and they drew big crowds too. Probably why they decided to a whole PPV of them, I guess.
Big brawl to start and the heels get schooled and run away. The crowd is molten for this one, as you’d expect. The idea here is that this is Piper’s last match in Boston before he retires. If only. Piper starts for the faces and of course wants Adonis, as this was taped before Wrestlemania III, but he gets Hercules instead. Gorilla erroneously notes that Adonis and Jesse Ventura were former WWF tag team champions, when in fact he got mixed up and meant Adonis and Dick Murdoch. Hogan comes in and quickly hits Herc with a corner clothesline, then brings Billy Jack in for a kneelift, so Herc backs off and tags Orndorff in. Billy grabs a headlock and gets a cross body for two, and Orndorff accuses him of pulling the tights. That’s ridiculous! He might accidentally traffic blow in his car, but he draws the line at cheating! They fight over a lockup and Orndorff takes him down with an armdrag, but Haynes quickly reverses out. Over to Adonis, who pounds on Haynes and overpowers him, but he gets caught in the face corner and slammed by Haynes. Piper comes in, so Adonis goes out. So it’s Piper and Orndorff. Piper wants a test of strength, but then pulls him into the corner and brings Hogan in. Smart guy. Hogan works on the arm, as does Haynes, but Orndorff moves to the corner and brings Hercules in, and the heels do some dirty work behind the ref’s back. Gorilla notes that all the men involved here would be at Wrestlemania III, although Orndorff wasn’t even booked on the show! Haynes misses a blind charge and Herc wipes him out with a clothesline, and Adonis comes in with a legdrop and starts working the knee. Powerslam , but Adrian accidentally allows Haynes to tag Piper in, and Roddy goes nuts on him. It’s breaking loose in Tulsa and Adonis and Piper are both counted out, which is not a surprising finish to their night. Piper stages a sit-in to protest until Adonis faces him like a man, but that’s not Adrian’s thing and he walks away from the fight as we take another ad break.
Back with Hogan & Haynes against Orndorff & Hercules, as Hogan gets distracted by a chair-wielding Hogan, allowing Hercules to sucker-punch him and take over. Herc drops elbows, as does Orndorff, but Hogan dodges one of them and slugs away. Orndorff comes back with a kneelift and pounds away, but hits Hercules by mistake and Hogan rolls him up to eliminate him. So poor Herc is left by himself, and Billy immediately attacks him, but misses a charge and Herc drops an elbow for the pin in a weird spot. That was pretty anti-climactic. So it’s down to Hercules v. Hogan, and Herc immediately gets the torture rack, but he lets go too soon, and you know the rest. Team Hulk wins it with the usual at 19:33. Just to demonstrate good sportsmanship, Hogan beats on poor Bobby Heenan too. ***1/4 Very watchable and fun tag match with all the big feuds of the day, albeit with tons of cheap booking tricks.
The Pulse:
Hey, the tag match is great, and the main event is fine, so this is certainly worth watching for those two matches, but FF through the rest of the card.
