TNR: Total Nonstop Recaps – March 22, 2007

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They start by showing highlights of last week with the announcement of the Lethal Lockdown match. They then hype the Abyss/Sting vs. Christian/Styles match for tonight.

Team Angle (Angle, Rhino, Joe) are in the back with Borash and Angle cuts a promo saying that they all have huge egos, but they are going to run over Team Christian at Lockdown.

Opening video. Duh duh…duh duh.

Mike and Don hype the card for tonight as we go right into the first match.

Match 1: Six-Man Tag Team match.
Serotonin vs. Team Angle

Don West mentions that Joe “lost” the title to Christian at Destination X and that he is going to be looking for revenge at Lockdown. Don West is a damn moron and should be fired immediately.

Rhino starts with Martar and takes control and hits a clothesline before he tags in Angle. Kaz tags in as well, and Angle kicks his ass and tags in Joe. Kaz tags in Havoc, who is a tad bit hesitant.

Joe hits a powerslam and some jabs, followed by his kick combo. Martar tags back in and gets kicked in the face. All hell breaks loose after that as the faces hits their finishers on each of the heels. Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Martar for the win.

WINNERS: TEAM ANGLE

Latisha is in the back with Styles and Christian, and A.J. is upset and says that the only reason that he joined Christian was for the title shot. Christian says that if A.J. mentions the title shot one more time, he’ll take it back. A.J. starts to bitch about it and they argue some before Christian tells him not to worry and that he’ll have another team member tonight…he thinks. A.J. is still worried and follows Christian out of the room, thus ending a funny little segment.

(Commercials)

Sting and Abyss are in the back with JB and Sting cuts a promo about how everything he’s done over the past five months have been for Abyss. He then says that there is one more step for total freedom before hyping tonights tag match. Sting isn’t wearing his paint yet, which is to exentuate (not sure if that is the correct spelling) the scar he still has from when Abyss busted him open at Destination X.

Team 3D is in the ring with two metal cases and they invite LAX to come down to the ring. LAX obliges, and Brother Ray talks about how the two teams are really very similar.

Ray then addresses what Konnan said last week about how LAX wants Team 3D’s legacy, and says that they have to earn a legacy in this business. Ray then opens the cases, which contain the tag team titles that they’ve held from other promotions (WWE, WCW, ECW), and says that at Lockdown they will put their legacy on the line for a title shot.

Ray then offers a handshake, but Konnan’s music hits and he uses a crutch to get into the ring. Konnan says that LAX doesn’t shake hands with gringos, and then challenges Team 3D to a Electrified Cage Match at Lockdown. They cut to Jim Cornette in the back, who doesn’t look happy about the situation.

(Commercials)

Lockdown promo.

We go backstage again with Corny, as Bob Backlund is asking for a match at Lockdown. He then sets a cup with his “urine sample” in front of Corny and states that he’s never eaten marijuana in his life and that he doesn’t know how to snort whatever they snort. He also says that he is proud of his conditioning and that he’s going to the moon.

Corny says that he can’t give Bob a match, but he will let him referee the match at Lockdown between Senshi and Austin Starr, as long as Bob doesn’t interfere in Starr’s match tonight. Bob thinks for awhile and leaves, while Corny examines the “sample” and says that it has chunks in it. I have to admit, that was funny as hell.

Match 2: Eric Young vs. Austin Starr

They show Robert Roode talking to Starr in the tunnel before he comes out. Eric goofs around for awhile until Starr attacks. Starr works Young and hits a running dropkick in the corner. Starr uses the good ol’ Hogan back rake as Robert Roode makes his way to ringside.

Starr misses the pendelum elbow, and EY is on the offensive and hits a backdrop. Eric does the Flair corner flip and hits a nice top rope elbow drop.

Ms. Brooks jumps on the apron to distract the ref as Roode clocks Eric from behind, allowing Starr to hit the Brainbuster for the win.

WINNER: AUSTIN STARR

Roode bitches at Eric after the match until Petey Williams comes down and knocks Roode out of the ring. Petey offers a handshake to Young, but Roode pulls Eric out of the ring and orders him to the back.

Jerry Lynn cuts a promo in the back about James Storm, his opponent for tonight. Lynn begins to talk about Christopher Daniels when the lights go out. When they come back on Daniels is attacking Lynn. Daniels starts to choke Lynn with a strap until security arrives.

(Commercials)

Corny is in the back with Chris Harris, who wants a match with James Storm. Corny says that he can’t give him that unless he has a doctor’s note saying he’s cleared to wrestle. Harris is pissed and leaves.

Match 3: James Storm w/Jackie Moore vs. Jerry Lynn never happened
WINNER: NO CONTEST

Lynn couldn’t make it out after being attacked, so Storm gets on the stick and says that he wants to beat somebody up and that he challenges anybody from the back to come down.

Chris Harris’ music hit’s and he stars down the ramp before Gail Kim stops him. Jackie Moore gets on the mic and calls Gail a slut, which prompts her to run to the ring and attack Jackie as Harris chases Storm to the back. Referees come in and separate the women.

(Commercials)

Best of the Tag Teams DVD promo.

Best of A.J. Styles Vol. 2 DVD promo.

Gail is in Cornettes office complaining about wanting a match with Jackie before she is attacked by…wait for it…Jackie!!!
They brawl in the office until security breaks it up.

Video package showing the history between Sting and Abyss.

Main Event: Hell Froze Over Tag Team Match
Christian Cage & A.J. Styles vs. Sting & Abyss

Abyss and Sting dominate to start, but the heels take over when Styles guillotines Sting on the top rope. Christian then hits a middle-rope dropkick for 2. Christian beats on Sting and tags in A.J., who hits a dropkick for 2 as we get some…

(Commercials)

Sting hits Christian’s knees on a splash attempt as we come back from break. Christian misses a top-rope splash as Sting makes the hot tag to Abyss.

Abyss destroys the heels and hits a Shock Treatment on Styles, knocking Cage down along the way for 2. Abyss tries it on Christian but Styles saves him.

Sting makes the blind tag as Abyss hits a double clothesline. Sting then hits a crossbody off the top onto both guys. The faces remain in control until James Mitchell appears on the ramp with a woman. Abyss follows them to the back, which allows the heels to work over Sting.

Sting fires up on the heels and hits a double Stinger Splash in the corner. He sends Christian to the outside before locking Styles in the Scorpion Death Lock. Christian distracts the ref as Scott Steiner runs in and hits Sting with a pipe, allowing Styles to pin him.

WINNERS: CHRISTIAN CAGE & A.J. STYLES

After the match, the heels celebrate and pose as the show goes off the air.

ADRENALINE RUSH…ADRENALINE RUSH NOW!!!!!!!!!

The Inside Pulse
— Match results:
Team Angle defeated Serotonin
Austin Starr defeated Eric Young
James Storm vs. Jerry Lynn never took place
Christian Cage & A.J. Styles defeated Sting & Abyss