OK, so I haven’t really been watching Idol this year due to a class I’m taking, plus the fact that I’m on my second job in 2007, and seriously contemplating starting the hunt for my third. But with Heroes on a break, and The Ultimate Fighter 5 not starting for another week, I’ve decided to do a quick recap of Idol to complement Josh’s column. I also happen to like No Doubt – I wouldn’t call myself a superfan though – so hey, why not give this week a try, right?
Let’s go!
Opening Credits
As Ryan tells us, tonight’s theme is “No Doubt and the songs that inspired No Doubt”. And if you’re like me, you’re secretly hoping that “Oi To The World” gets sung, because honestly, how fun would that be? Also, I’m hoping that noone sings Talk Talk, because it would be hard to top Steffi D’s Dora Award-winning performance on Canadian Idol last summer.
But anyways, first up is Lakisha Jones singing Donna Summer’s “Last Dance”.
And Lakisha is apparently wearing either a modified kimono or a modified version of one of Hugh Hefner’s robes. If Stacy and Clinton were in the audience, they’d be giving her a $5000 check card right now. Fortunately, Lakisha sings pretty well. Unfortunately for her, the song really did nothing for me. 6.5/10.
Oh yeah, if you’ve forgotten I grade pretty harshly. Plus I always give the first singer 6.5.
Randy – Good to see you make a change
Paula – You did Donna Summer proud.
Simon – You’re 30 years younger this week.
After our ad break, it’s time for Chris Sligh doing his take on “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” by The Police.
OK, so Chris looks a bit like the lovechild of Comic Book Guy and Weird Al Yankovic. Unfortunately for us, Chris also sings a bit more like Comic Book Guy. Hey, you gotta give Al props for being able to do all those parodies. But Chris sounds like he’s got a frog in his throat. And he’s currently my frontrunner for this week’s boot, since Sanjaya apparently has the survival skills of Jack Bauer. 3.5/10
Randy – Biggest problem was the tempo. The rhythm made it a train wreck for me.
Paula – Vocally it sat nice.
Simon – Thought it was a mess.
Next up, it’s Gina Glocksen who’s singing The Pretenders’ “I’ll Stand By You”.
You’d expect a rocker-type girl, and one who likes KT Tunstall and Sheryl Crow, to do this song justice, and that’s exactly what Gina does. As far as Idol goes, that’s the best rendition of the song I’ve heard. It was smooth, and while Gina didn’t go overboard with things, she still made the song her own. 8.5/10
Randy – I thought this was one of your best performances ever.
Paula – You’re coming into your own.
Simon – That wasn’t one of your best performances, it WAS your best performance.
Um, was that a compliment?
We have an ad break, so that people can take some shots and prepare themselves for the train wreck that is Sanjaya Malakar. This week, he has chosen to ruin “Bathwater”. You know it’s gonna be bad when even Gwen is searching for nice things to say.
OK, so first off, that fauxhawk is hella-awful. As Ryan points out after, it isn’t even a fauxhawk, it’s a bunch of ponytails lined up in a row. Sanjaya says it’s seven for good luck. To Cantonese people, four is bad luck, so let’s hope he gets the boot.
Oh, the performance. Boring, uninspired, and generally just awful. 1/10, and that’s for trying a fauxhawk.
Randy – I’m speechless.
Paula – You can do it. (sing, that is)
Simon – I don’t think it matters anymore what we say.
Now it’s time for Haley Scarnato, singing Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors”.
She’s kinda pitchy, otherwise it wasn’t too bad. It’s kinda just there though, even with the Star Search moments added in. If she weren’t pretty, I’d say she’d be in trouble. 6.5/10
Randy – Started rough, just aiight. It didn’t grab me.
Paula – You had an Adult Contemporary performance – aim to be more contemporary.
Simon – Sweet but forgettable. Too safe.
Another ad break, and now we have Phil Stacey, singing another Police song, “Every Breath You Take”.
That was good. Real good. Once Phil hit the bridge, I think he kicked it into high gear. The song really suited his voice, and if he keeps singing like that, he might actually do well. 8.5/10
Randy – Really solid performance.
Paula – You played it safe with the verses.
Simon – Thought that was very good. Great choice of songs.
And at this point, Ryan says “That’s just the way I roll,” which pretty much kills that saying dead. Guess Christian Cage will need a new catchphrase (yes, I know he says “That’s how I roll”. PoTAto, poTAHto).
Next up is Melinda Doolittle, and my wife brings up a great point that she needs to work on her posture, because she always looks hunched over. She fixes that, and I think she can cruise to the title. Anyway, she’s singing “Heaven Knows” by Donna Summer.
And sing she does. I don’t think that anyone can touch Melinda for singing consistently well. Her wardrobe, though, needs some work. I think she went shopping with Lakisha. I’m serious people – can the wardrobe people just look at the contestants and say “Um, I don’t think that will work”. If Melinda’s gonna be the winner (or at least Final Four), at least have her look good, ‘kay? 8.5/10
Randy – You are living the words.
Paula – You have charisma from the word go.
Simon – Vocally you were, as usual, outstanding. Hate the outfit.
OK, three more performers, and next up is Blake Lewis, who is singing “Love Song” by The Cure.
This is an interesting performance. On one hand, this is probably Blake’s best outing vocally. On the other, he’s visibly reining in his movement, and that makes the performance kinda bland. I think he would’ve been better served doing a creepy Marty Casey-ish rendition. But that’s just me – I can’t vote. And I’m not a 14 year-old girl who might be scared off by it. 6/10
Randy – You made the most of it.
Paula – I loved what you did with the song. You’re the dark horse.
Simon – You’re definitely the strongest guy in the competition. Be careful, because you’re in a “Chris Daughtry zone”. Don’t get indulgent.
It should be noted that Paula choosing someone as a “dark horse” is as lethal as Dave Navarro picking you as his favourite on Rock Star. So Blake probably goes out 6th or 7th.
Now it’s time for Jordin Sparks, singing “Hey Baby”.
This was… well, crap. Jordin went through the motions of an energetic performance, a lot of movement and whatnot but no real feeling behind it. Her singing is currently carrying her, but I find Jordin to be rather fake and uninspiring. Of course, Diana DeGarmo was fake and uninspiring, and she finished second in season three, so anything’s possible, folks. 4/10
Randy – That was risky, but brilliant.
Paula – I love seeing you in this kind of mode.
Simon – You’re the most improved, but I found it copycat-ish.
Finally, our last performer is Chris Richardson singing “Don’t Speak”.
Chris starts off with some Savol-like stiffness, but he loosens up, and it seems that he took Gwen’s advice about the vocal gymnastics. He tones things down just enough to turn in one of the better performances of the night. Good way to finish things off. 8/10
Randy – Interesting. I like your flavour on it.
Paula – Good. Just good.
Simon – I quite like the arrangement. You have to pay a lot more attention to the vocals. (probably meaning the runs).
Kevin’s Rankings
“Hella Good”
Phil
Melinda
Gina
“Excuse Me Mr./Just a Girl”
Chris R.
Lakisha
Haley
Blake
“Don’t Speak”
Jordin
Chris S.
Sanjaya
Interesting that Lakisha was my benchmark performance, and there she is smack dab in the middle of things. I’m pleasantly surprised by the quality of this week’s performances, and really only my bottom three stuck out as bad.
Predictions
I’m picking Chris Sligh to go home, with Haley and Sanjaya joining him in the bottom three. I’m pretty notorious for being wrong though.
That’s all for now.
