The Long and Short Of It – Fantastic Four #544

Reviews

Fantastic Four #544

Writer: Dwayne McDuffie
Pencils: Paul Pelletier
Inks: Rick Magyar
Colours: Paul Mounts
Letters: VCs Rus Wooton
Cover: Michael Turner

The Long of It

OK, it’s been a few weeks since I scribbled anything here about one of the week’s many comic offerings. I’ve had sickness and computer failure to blame, but nonetheless it’s been a while. Didya miss me? Nah, I thought not. My ego’s not big enough yet that I think any of you even notice when I don’t show up. But since it’s been a while, I thought I’d choose something that should bring the best out of me as a writer to make up for it. I remember reading a review from Jamie Hatton on this very site where he said that his best stuff always comes when reviewing something that is either very, very good, or very, very bad. With me, it’s simpler. The good stuff I review usually ends up like I’ve just prematurely ejaculated across the keyboard, and can be more than a little sickeningly fawning. It’s the stuff I hate that usually leads to my best work (well, in my opinion anyway – you guys probably find it all a heap of crap whether it’s positive or negative).


You see how this reviewing stuff can make you jaded? I actually wanted to hate a book.


And boy, did I want to hate this? Not that I have anything against any of the creative team involved. Nothing at all. In fact I’ve had no strong opinions either way about Dwayne McDuffie’s work, and I’ve enjoyed the stuff that Paul Pelletier has done on Exiles. It’s just the content that I was really looking forward to hating. So this one for me was an easy pick to review before I read it. This one should get the full amount of venom and bile bubbling up from my digestive system and onto the screen spewing some of my bestest insults for all to see. And yes, bestest is a word; at least in my dictionary. That was my hope. You see how this reviewing stuff can make you jaded? I actually wanted to hate a book. But sometimes, it doesn’t matter how loud and how often the fighter pilot screams “PULL UP! PULL UP! ABORT!”, he still flies into a trap. And Admiral Ackbar would have been yelling at me long before I finished this particular issue. The trap was set, and I flew right into it. Ah, f*ck it. I’m gonna have to be nice about a book, aren’t I?


Storm. A.K.A. Ororo Monroe. A.K.A. the one character that can make me claw away at my eyes to stop them from being befouled by her arrogant mediocrity.


So what is it about this book that would mean I would instantly assume I’d hate it? Is it a continuity problem? Nope. This is all tied in nicely to events from the last few months, and the fall-out from Civil War continues apace, as Reed and Sue take some time off to repair their marriage. Is that the problem? Do I believe that the FF can’t possibly work without Reed and Sue? Well long-term, probably yeah. I do think that. But that’s not the problem. I’ve seen the team change in the past and enjoyed the stories that were told. Is it Penry Pooch, the mild-mannered janitor? Nope. How about Reed and Sue’s choice of replacements? Ah, bingo. That’s the problem. And it’s not Black Panther either, even if I do prefer him as the mysterious schemer a la Christopher Priest’s run. Nope, it’s his spouse. Storm. A.K.A. Ororo Monroe. A.K.A. the one character that can make me claw away at my eyes to stop them from being befouled by her arrogant mediocrity. I hate her. Hate her, hate her, hate her. Having such an irrational hatred of a fictional character would be a source of endless wonder to my therapist, if I had one. But I don’t care. I just long to be able to pour “the Dip” from ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’ onto her entry in The Official Handbook of The Marvel Universe and delete her from existence.

So as soon as I read that she and BP would be making up the remainder of the FF while Stretcho and Suzie Q take their leave of absence, I knew that I would loathe this book. I knew it. In the very fibre of my being. And my being is very high in fibre, making a great addition to a healthy diet. So why, oh why, oh WHY did they make me quite enjoy this comic? Why couldn’t they leave me alone in my misery? I was happy there.


Dwayne McDuffie, I applaud you for your work. I also curse you for not letting me hate Storm enough to satisfy my bloodlust, but I applaud you nonetheless.


Because this book is really quite enjoyable. It is what the FF is supposed to be. Fun, expansive, adventuring. In this one issue we have Deathlok, Epoch, two Heralds of Galactus, and a very sarcastic Uatu the Watcher. We have banter between the team-members (the scene where Johnny asks for a hands-up to see who HASN’T met Uatu before is great), and between the team and the other characters (Ben’s comments about how The Watcher is hanging, and Uatu’s comments about why he attended Storm and T’Challa’s wedding). This book makes you chuckle. And I like that. You also have a really good counterbalance in the team when Sue and Reed aren’t about. Because you have two people used to being leaders on the team, trying to lead two people who know how the FF works and how their adventures usually play out. And story-wise, it also helps that it picks up on recent continuity, both major (Civil War), and minor (Beyond, since they’re investigating the theft of Gravity’s corpse). All that and it wraps up to a nice flashy last-page cliffhanger, even if it was one you could pick out a mile away. The whole issue just read really nicely. Dwayne McDuffie, I applaud you for your work. I also curse you for not letting me hate Storm enough to satisfy my bloodlust, but I applaud you nonetheless.

Aesthetically too, it’s a winner. Paul Pelletier draws a very good “fun” comic; and by that I don’t mean laugh-a-minute comedy stuff. I mean fun. Light, enjoyable, not too gritty, superheroey goodness. It suits the tone of the book really well (and gets him away from the nasty mess that Chris Claremont is going to make of Exiles). Nice stuff. And the cover by Michael Turner is gorgeous. I love his renditions of Ben and Johnny, even if it does look like a stiff punch from anyone heavy-hitting would shatter Ben’s jaw. I like the way it juts. Which is a sentence I never thought I’d write.

So yeah, loathe as I am to admit it, this is a thoroughly enjoyable read. I need something by Chuck Austen or Rob Liefeld next week, or I’m in danger of becoming painfully bland. Much like Ororo Monroe. Ooooh, zing! I got her. Took all review, but I finally got her. And if I start hating it in a few months time, I can always sue Storm. Sue Storm? Jeez, I kill myself.

The Short of It

If you like non-gritty superhero comics like they used to be written, and if you are willing to accept that the Fantastic Four can exist without Reed and Sue for a few months, then this book will make you smile. Even if you hate Storm like I do. Dammit.

Grade: B Fun with a capital F; or more accurately two of them.