TNR: Total Nonstop Recaps – April 5, 2007

We start with…you guessed it…another recap of the previous week.

Latisha is in the back with Team Cage. Christian and Tompko argue over who’s idea it was to pull the wool over Team Angle’s eyes. I stopped caring long ago.

Cue generic guitair music.

Mike and Don hype the crap…hmm…i mean show.
Match 1: 8-Mile Street Fight
Rhino vs. Tompko

They start in the back and Rhino is in control, ramming Tompko into a wall. Tompko gets control and throws Rhino into stuff. Tompko has a very deep moveset. Very deep.

More weak brawling around the arena, and Rhino gets knocked down the stairs. We get a heaping helping of…

(Commercials)

Back in the ring, Tompko hits Rhino with a trash can. Rhino gets back in control and Gores Tompko through a table when Abyss comes down to the ring.

Abyss accidentally hits Tompko with a chair. Gore picks up the win for Rhino.

WINNER: RHINO

After the match, both teams come down with Team Cage using the number’s game to destroy Team Angle. Whoopee.

Jimmy Cornette is in his office with all the wrestlers that nobody cares about. Jimmy hypes tonight’s company and tells everyone to leave when Gail Kim comes and attacks Jackie Moore…again.

(Commercials)

A.J. Styles DVD promo.

TNAwrestling.com promo.

Team Cage is in the back again and they’re celebrating. Scott Steiner says something I won’t even try to comprhend. Christian invites everyone to come party except for Abyss. That dick.

Match 2: VKM vs. LAX
Christy Hemm comes to the ring, but gets carried to the back by Lance Hoyt. Homicide is the man. The crowd chants VKM because they’re all stupid.

LAX destroys B.G. and Homicide hits a top rope elbow. LAX double teams B.G. and I am loving every minute of it.

B.G. hits a boot on Hernandez and tags in Kip, who cleans house. Kip goes for the Fame Asser, but the Latino Nation interferes for the DQ.

WINNERS VIA DQ: VKM

Team 3D comes down and clears the ring. Ray gets on the mic and accepts the challenge and says that they are going to win and fulfill it’s legacy.

JB is in the back with Team Angle, and Joe is pissed at Kurt. They argue for a while, and they bring up the fourth member that Angle mentioned last week. Kurt says that he will tell them when he’s ready, which doesn’t sit well with the rest of the team.

(Commercials)

TNA hypes their house shows.

Kevin Nash is in the back with Jay Lethal who is sporting the goofiest afro I have ever seen. Sonjay Dutt is Oz. Weird segment.

DON’T DOUBT KURT!!! THERE WILL BE FIVE!!!

Match 3: Submission Match
Senshi vs. Austin Starr
This match was just at the PPV, which is just lazy-ass booking by TNA.
Senshi hits some nice stuff to start including a backbreaker. He tries for a Chicken Wing but Starr throws him outside and hits a cool suicide dive under the middle rope.

(Commercials)

Lockdown promo.

Starr hits a front suplex into a bridging chin lock. Senshi fights back up and hits some chops. Kicks by Senshi, followed by the dragon sleeper. Starr gets out and hits the kick in the corner.

Starr tries a superplex but misses the Warrior’s Way, hurting his leg. Starr applies a single leg crab, and Bob Backlund throws in the towel. What a shitty ending.

WINNER: AUSTIN STARR

Backlund puts the Chickenwing on Starr, but Starr escapes. Senshi is pissed at Backlund.

Recap of Sting/Abyss.

Mike Tenay is doing a sit-down interview with Sting. Sting apoligizes to Abyss. Sting says that this isn’t the way that he wants to go out and that he needs to go home and know that he failed. Whatever.

(Commercials)

Lethal Lockdown promo.

Jim Cornette is in the ring for the company meeting. Cornette reads the matches for Lockdown. Corny is still good on the mic by the way. Harris vs. Storm will be a blind fold match, which is actually clever considering the blind Harris storyline. The match will suck, though.

Corny continues to talk and comes to the Lethal Lockdown. Corny says that their will be a match to determine the advantage for the match in the cage when Christian interrupts and gets to talk some more. Cornette tells him to shut the hell up. I agree. Corny says that the champ can’t determine his own challengers and that the person who gets the pin or submission at Lockdown will get a title shot at Sacrifice, no matter which team he is on.

Sting comes out and attacks Team Cage, and Team Angle clears the ring, confirming Sting as a member. The faces pose to end the show and…

ADRENALINE RUSH…ADRENALINE RUSH NOW!!!

Match Results:
Rhino defeated Tompko in an 8-Mile Street Fight
VKM defeated LAX vis dq
Austin Starr defeated Senshi in a Submission Match

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