Greetings everyone. I’m back from my pre and post Wrestlemania hiatus. I’m Tom Pandich. This is Raw. Shawn/Orton tonight. Edge has Cena on generic talk show #364. Foley is back tonight too.
Fireworks and we’re live from somewhere. I’m not paying too much attention. Shane O’ Mac comes out though, and I’m instantly interested. Shane says he needs to win the McMahon name some respect back, and he calls out Bobby Lashley. Here comes the Milk Dud.
Shane says that Bobby has taken the McMahon pride. Shane tells Bobby he’s taking Bobby’s pride tonight though. Shane challenges Bobby Lashley to a match. Lashley and Shane have a stare down when Umaga’s music hits. Shane stops Umaga on the way down and says he appreciates the offer, but Shane is fighting his battles. Umaga and Armando don’t take the hint and Shane slaps Armando! Armando bolts.
Shane is back in the ring and rechallenges Bobby Lashley. Lashley wants something out of it though. He wants Shane’s hair if he wins. Shane says he makes the orders around here….. BUT HE ACCEPTS! Shane vs Lashley: Hair vs Title match tonight!
Go Roast Beef: Mickey James and Candice Michelle vs Victoria and Melina
Last week, Mickey James dropped Melina in a segment. Tag shit follows. It’s standard. Mickey James pins Victoria after a spike DDT.
Winners: Mickey and Candice
Head shaving recap and we go to commercials.
Foley is with Michael, the cancer kid. They run into the Highlanders. Foley wants to get them to shave their beards. They take off at that. Maria gives the kid a hug. A cheap pop and we go back to ringside.
Here comes Carlito and Flair. We pimp the Ric Flair & The Four Horseman DVD. Carlito says that if Flair and him beat Cade and Murdock, they get a tag title shot at Backlash.
Cade and Murdock vs Ric Flair and Carlito
We’re back and Flair is our face in peril. Flair gets worked over and it’s pretty boring. Ah well. Flair chops, but gets dropped. He eventually fights his way over to Carlito who comes in like a house of fire. Dropkick! Back drop! Flair comes in and gets dumped. Carlito tries for the springboard elbow but misses! Leg sweep/clothesline finishes Carlito.
Winners: Cade and Murdock
After the match Carlito is disgusted, and he walks out without Flair.
We’re back and we get a useless preview for the Condemned.
In the back, the Coach has a little tift with Shane. He gets shit upon rather quickly though by Shane. Shane kicks him out.
Michaels is in his Jesus suit with Todd. Michaels says this is about who wants it more. Michaels is interupted by Orton who proceeds to standard heel promo #243. Orton wins a new set of dentures for being the thousandth person for telling Michaels that in so many words. The match is next.
#1 Contender’s Match: Shawn Michaels vs Randy Orton
The two lock up and the match grrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnddddds to a halt. Orton gets the advantage only to have his knee clipped out by Michaels. Shawn works over Orton’s leg for no reason in particular. He tries for a Figure Four on Orton, but Randy kicks Shawn into the ring post. Orton has the advantage, but here comes Edge. Orton is distraced by this and nearly gets rolled up for the win. Commercials.
During the break, Orton tossed Michaels hard into the corner. The two have back and forth offense though until the ref takes a bump. Shawn hits the inverted atomic drop and nails the elbow shortly after that. Shawn stops with Sweet Chin Music only to go after Edge. RKO on the outside to Shawn! Edge and Orton have words which leads to Orton getting speared. Both men get rolled in. New ref comes in and begins a ten count. Both men are up at ten when Orton eats sweet chin music. Shawn falls across Orton, shoulders to the mat.
Winner: Disputed!
Edge takes credit for some reason saying he’s #1 Contender.
We’re back and we get a replay of what happened. Orton wants to be #1 contender as he storms into McMahon’s office!
Meanwhile, the cancer kid meets the lower card. He also made a match at Backlash with the Coach in some capacity. Edge says he wants to talk to Coach about being the new #1 contender.
WWE Rewind: Hardy’s win the tag titles
Non-Title Match: Hardy Boyz vs World’s Greatest Tag Team
Matt and Charlie start off. The E is going to Italy soon. Haas gets the early advantage but gets caught with his head down. Tag to Jeff and the two drop Haas with a double back elbow. Jeff pops up top, but he gets smushed by a springboard spin kick. Matt dumps Shelton but the damage is done. Matt is the face in peril until, you know, he’s not. Tag to Matt. Shelton gets dropped by a clothesline/bulldog combo. Poetry in Motion. Swanton. That’s it.
Winners: The Hardy Boys
Edge is heading to the ring as we come from commercial.
We’re back. More Austin movie shit.
Here comes Edge to the ring. Edge puts himself over as the #1 Contender. Edge wants Cena to come out. Instead he gets Orton. Edge bails. Orton yells at Edge. Orton says Coach agrees with him. Here comes Shawn. Shawn wants this to be a rematch of all rematches at Backlash. Here comes Cena. He makes dick jokes.
Cena says that Edge couldn’t get the job done in Toronto with a TLC match. Orton hasn’t gotten over the hump because he’s a coward and what not. If Shawn wants some, he can come get some. Here comes the Coach. He makes a 2 on 1 handicap match at Backlash with Shawn no where to be seen. Mick comes out with cancer kid. Cancer kid makes it a fatal four way. The kid can barely speak English. Real main event is next.
ECW World Heavyweight Title: Shane McMahon vs Bobby Lashley
Shane spears Lashley as he’s coming in the ring. Shane tackles Lashley into the steel steps. Shane finally rolls Lashley in and gets a few one counts. Shane kicks at Lashley’s ribs before Lashley tosses Shane halfway across the ring and gets dominated by Lashley. For some reason, Shane strikes the ref.
Winner by DQ: Bobby Lashley
Here comes Umaga. Umaga squishes Bobby. Shane decks Bobby with a steel chair. Vince runs down Lashley. At Backlash it’s Shane McMahon vs Umaga vs Vince McMahon vs Bobby Lashley for the ECW title. Silliness. Thumb poke of doom. Vince finishes the show with punches.
