Got a minute between commercials? Go read some ECW opinions of Vinny Truncellito.
The music starts us off from the top today so we’ve gotta be in for a packed show. I don’t know how “packed” it’s gonna be with Vince on the show.
Speaking of Vince, as I typed his name he came out to his music which interrupted the ECW music. I wonder if this works across the board.
Hmmm. No such luck. Vince is still on his way to the ring. I missed RAW, but apparently Lashley got his ass kicked and we’re on our way to seeing a very SPORTZ entertainment ECW title defense. Vince is still talking about being shaved. Doesn’t he know that story lines are supposed to move forward? They’re not supposed to continue on and on and on. Then again, Backlash has a nasty habit of showing rematches from Wrestlemania.
Vince wants revenge and Austin and Trump aren’t around to punish. Vince wants to get revenge on Lashley. Why not fire him? Because it’s wrestling, that’s why. Vince gets heat for saying Lashley isn’t here tonight. So that means the main event tonight, right? Wait, he’s barred Lashley from the building. CERTAINLY main event tonight. The crowd is booing that? I’d be cheering my balls off.
Anyone think that Vince looks like Backlund with a bald head?
It’s laughable to hear Shane talk about his family’s dignity at Wrestlemania. Maybe he doesn’t remember fighting his father over the WCW issue. Or the four corners Wrestlemania 2000 match. The rumors about Shane and Steph fighting backstage is funny as hell.
Anyway, the replay is finally done and we’re almost ten minutes into the show and no one but Vince has been shown on the program. Way to utilize that roster you paid for Vince. To think that Mike Knox and Little Guido are still getting paid this week. Vince doesn’t know how to be short and sweet anymore, does he? Instead we get these long drawn out monologues. Vince stops talking right on the ten ten mark and we are going to commercials after six minutes of McMahon and four minutes from RAW last night.
What the hell happens when someone on the three person side of the handicapped match wins? Does whoever scores the pin win the title?
Backstage CM Punk is warming up and is interrupted by RVd, who fellates CM Punk’s performance. RVD says that everything that Punk stands for the Originals stands for. Like RVD’s getting high and Sandman’s smoking drinking. Burke wants a choice to be made next week and CM Punk says he’s gonna give an answer tonight now that he’s getting it from both sides.
More required reading is Glazer’s A Modest Response where he tells me that I should be watching more RoH.
Dreamer limps his way to the ring from last week’s extreme rules match. They replay Dreamer getting dropped back first on a chair. Damn those spots look good. I bet they hurt too.
Next is Kevin Thorn and Ariel, who’s sporting the retro roller girl/indie rock/greaser girl look. He’s holding his head and…
Kevin Thorn over Tommy Dreamer by the Dark Kiss
Trading blows to start. thorn takes control after a whip to the corner and a clothesline. Dreamer takes control after that and clotheslines thorn over the top rope tot the outside. Dreamer goes for punches to the head from the apron, but Thorn attacks the knee to knock Dreamer to the floor.
Back in the ring Thorn slaps on a rest hold as CM Punk watches backstage from an awkward angle so we can see he’s watching the match. Thorn hits a spine buster but can only get a two. TWO! Dreamer ducks a clothesline and hits a hangman’s neck braker. Dreamer throws some fists a la Bubba Ray Dudley and Thorn is groggy. Dreamer his a spine buster of his own, but he can only pull a two as well. TWO!
Ariel distracts Dreamer when he’s on the top, Dreamer gets crotched and Dreamer gets hit with the Dark Kiss and that’s the match. That Dark Kiss is one bad ass move.
The Nitro Girls are backstage and it’s SNITSKY!!! He’s a big dude. They say hello to Mr. Snitsky and he stares at them creepy. They share an awkward moments and Snitsky looks less unhuman today.
Hey, it’s another commercial for the Condemned. Looks like Sylvester Terkay is in the movie. Good they could fond a use for him. I wonder if he got winded after a few minutes of filming the movie like he did wrestling. They’re talking about this movie like it’s never been done before. This is Running Man redux. Blech.
Holly’s arm is broken! Woo hoo! Everyone celebrate!
CM Punk over Stevie Richards by roll through
Another match between these two? Didn’t we see this after CM Punk made quick work of Justin Credible?
Matt Striker comes down to ringside and once he makes his entrance, here comes the Sandman. And here comes the commercials.
Sorry. This time you’ll have to find your own required reading.
We’re back and Punk has control over Big Stevie Cool. Punk hits some kicks in the corner and missed a splash from the top. Stevie hits some knees and attacks the ribs and can only get a two count. TWO!
Stevie has a…. bear hug? Punk hits some elbows and Stevie turns it into a bely to back. Stevie goes for an abdominal stretch but Punk hits a knee instead. They trade punches until Punk hits a kick to the head. Punk hits a knee lift in the corner but only gets a two count. TWO!
Sandman and Striker argue outside and Striker ducks a cane shot which hits Punk instead. Whoops. Stevie almost gets a three count, but Punk rolls through and gets the win. Sandman talks to Punk about how long they’ve known each other, apparently since 98. I couldn’t make out the place that they met. A nice touch by the Sandman to include that kinda stuff.
It’s the Nitro Girls and they’re dancing to a Hives song. Or at least it said it was a Hives song. I don’t remember the rapper in that band. this one’s a booty shaker and Kelly is her usual beat or two behind the other two girls. They make it through the whole dance before SNITSKY!!!
Layla cant make it out in time and she’s face to face with SNITSKY. SNITSKY broods and Layla tries to act scared.
Matthew Michaels: LICK HER FEET!
Balls Mahoney hits SNITSKY from behind with a chair before SNITSKY happens to Balls Mahoney. Another week, another paycheck, right Balls?
Styles talks about Punk needing to make a choice tonight as we get the video from tonight recapped. actually, replayed in it’s entirety. Nice rib by RVD asking Burke if “the adults can have a talk”.
Marcus Cor Von w/Elijah Burke with a towel over Rob Van Dam w/Sabu in a neckbrace by POUNCE. PERIOD.
Alright, let’s do this. Rob Van Dam vs. Cor Von as a main event? I like it. We come back in time to catch Cor Von’s entrance.
Do we need to have a talk about why Sabu in a neckbrace is ridiculous? What could be more odd? They changed Cor Von’s music to some motown influenced music from the soul music. Yeah, “The Alpha Male” really has this kinda attitude.
Cor Von overpowers RVD in a lock up and gives a clean break in the corner. RVD goes for a headlock and ducks a clothes line and MCV ducks a kick and we get an old fashioned ECW standoff! If it’s possible to be a standoff mark, I’m it. MCV overpowers RVD tossing him around and almost reversing a monkey flip into a powerbomb but RVD turns it into a ‘rana.
Elijah calls Cor Von Monty as “Monty” retains control. Cor Von has a stretch move on RVD, RVD attempts to power out, but MCV turns it into a neckbraker. That only draws a two. TWO!
Cor Von goes for more punches in the corner and RVD gets a kick on a charging Cor Von and can only a a two with a body scissor pin. TWO!
The crowd is DEAD. DEAD DEAD.
Of course now the crowd chants for RVD just as I type that and he gets out of the rest hold and misses the enzuguiri and Cor Von hits a release German suplex and RVD lands on his face. nice. Cor Von stays on him hitting a snap suplex into a headlock.
RVD rallies the crowd that’s still awake and Cor Von intercepts a kick with an axe handle and Cor Von maintains control. He can’t get a three as Joey and Tazz talk all over each other.
Cor Von must have been told by the ref to keep the rest holds on because he’s back to the headlock AGAIN and RVD battles out AGAIN. RVD hits some clotheslines and kicks and Sabu celebrates outside. RVD hits a sie kick and goes for the legs to put Cor Von down and hits a corkscrew leg drop. TWO!
RVD hits a sidekick from up top as Burke attacks Sabu outside. RVD runs to help Sabu and Cor Von hits the POUNCE.
Wait a second. Cor Von’s old music hits for a moment before CM Punk makes his way to ringside.
Punk’s in the ring and is squaring off with Burke and Cor Von. He puts his head down, looks to the crowd and… SHAKES BURKE’S HAND!
CM PUNK IS A MEMBER OF THE NEW BREED!
Punk is hoisted on the shoulders of the New Breed and we’ve got our newest heel in ECW!
I LOVE IT.
The Inside Pulse
- Kevin Thorn over Tommy Dreamer by the Dark Kiss
- CM Punk over Stevie Richards by roll through
- Marcus Cor Von w/Elijah Burke with a towel over Rob Van Dam w/Sabu in a neckbrace by POUNCE. PERIOD.